My friend's dad recently moved to town and he convinced me to join them at church. The whole time, I felt terribly out of place.

Then the whole shazam starts, and I'm feeling rather irritated as they start talking about forgiveness and how God won't love us if we don't forgive people.

This sounds fine or whatever in theory, but I'm just getting angrier and everyone is staring at me and waiting for me to go up to the little candle shrine altar thing and forgive.

See, the problem with living in a small town for your entire life is that everyone knows you. This isn't the worst thing possible, for most people, but it's been a constant burden.

To everyone, I'm just the poor little eight year old girl with the tragic backstory and the panic attacks and the trouble sleeping and the mental issues.

It's been nine years, and I've not quite forgiven yet, so why should one single hour at church change my entire life perspective?

Honestly, I wanted to burst out crying and walk right out, but I stood my ground. Who cares about their opinions of me.

I'm not ready to forgive him yet, but that doesn't mean that I'll end up as a thirty-eight year old man who kills himself and leaves his eight year old daughter to find the body.

So thank you all for your time, and I probably won't be returning next weekend.