Brookshadow felt something prod her side. She grunted and lifted her head, her eyes heavy with sleep. She gazed around, confused for a moment. Instead of a chilly wind, there were thickly woven bramble walls surrounding her. Then she remembered; She was finally back in ThunderClan! She felt familiar scents weave around her, even though she was in the Nursery.

    Her kits! She glanced at her side and saw the two little she-kits, snuggling  even closer to her for warmth. The smaller of the two, the orange and black striped one, was even shivering a little. Brookshadow felt her heart melt, and she gently wrapped her tail around them in the darkness. Shifting closer to her precious bundles, she purred, the sound  reverberating around in her chest, and hopefully rocking the kits into a deeper sleep. The light brown tabby queen gently rasped her tongue along her kits' ears, feeling and hearing as their squeaky breaths grew deep and even.

    As she laid her own head down and felt her eyes begin to droop, she saw a transparent paw slowly appear in front of her. Surprised, she looked up into the face of a gray-blue she-cat: Bluestar.

    "It's a great feeling, isn't it?" the ThunderClan leader of old whispered.

    Brookshadow smiled, nodding. "I'm so glad I decided to keep them," she whispered back.

    Bluestar smiled as well, resting her tail tip on the two kits. "And don't worry, we're taking good care of Dawnkit. She's doing well."

    "How long-" Brookshadow swallowed back a wave of emotion tightening her throat. "When did she die?"

    Bluestar sighed, a quiet sound, like wind stalking through the blades of grass. "Before you even went with that battle patrol to ShadowClan. Before even then, she had gone."

    Brookshadow felt her heart drop. Had she done something wrong? She knew StarClan wasn't punishing her; otherwise, Bluestar wouldn't be speaking to her right now, or her words would be harsh. Somehow, Brookshadow must have contributed to Dawnkit's death - there was no other logical explanation.

    "It's not your fault, Brookshadow." Bluestar's firm voice caught Brookshadow by surprise.

    "What's not my fault? It must be my fault, there's no other explanation..." She repeated to the StarClan cat what she'd spoken in her mind.

    "Nothing, Brookshadow. None of this is your fault." Bluestar's voice was softer now. The ancient she-cat settled next to Brookshadow, giving her ears a few affectionate licks.

    Brookshadow felt her heart twisting. "No. It is my fault. I decided to be with Piketooth, decided to tell him I loved him. I caused this," she whimpered.

    "Brookshadow. You have to believe me. This is not your fault. You did nothing to deserve what Piketooth did to you."

    "But I-" Brookshadow felt her mind and paws numb. She's wrong. It was my fault.

    "Look at your kits, Brookshadow."

    The tabby she-cat dragged her gaze to the two small shapes huddled against her.

    "Can you truly say that those kits are your fault? And if they were, wouldn't you think that they were a burden, something that we would be using to punish you?"

    "I-..." Brookshadow watched as her kits squirmed. "No, they're not a fault. They were supposed to happen," she whispered.

    "Exactly." Bluestar mewed softly. "You loved Piketooth. While that was wrong, what Piketooth did when you tried to end it was horrible. And you were doing the right thing. It isn't your fault."

    Brookshadow felt her ears lie flat against her skull as the weight of guilt she hadn't realized she carried was lifted off her shoulders. She felt a sob roll in her throat. "It wasn't?" she whispered.

    "None of it was your fault, Brookshadow." Bluestar soothed. She rested her tail across Brookshadow's shoulders.

    Brookshadow closed her eyes tightly, suddenly feeling accepted. She'd forgotten what that had felt like.

    Brookshadow blinked her eyes open, seeing the light filtering into the Nursery. She took a few breaths and glanced around, then looked at her kits, whom were nestled, still sleeping, at her stomach. They already seemed bigger, with their fur fluffed out in little puffs. Brookshadow took a breath and glanced around, then saw Cinderheart sitting in her nest, rearranging the moss for a more comfortable array.

    "Cinderheart," the light brown she-cat mewed.

    The dark gray she-cat's ears pricked, and she turned around with a smile. "Brookshadow. How are you?"

    "I'm great." Brookshadow answered, surprised that it was actually the whole truth. It had been so very long. "What about you?"

    "I'm fine. My kits are already outside."

    "Your kits?" Brookshadow felt a smile spread across her maw. Of course, she must have had them when I was gone.

    "Mhm." Cinderheart finished arranging the moss and laid down in her nest. "You haven't met them yet."

    "I haven't. But isn't it cold outside? They could get sick."

    Cinderheart chuckled and flicked her tail. "I'm just letting them have fun while they can."

    Brookshadow nodded. "Did they bury Dawnkit yet?" she asked.

    Cinderheart looked at Brookshadow, her face sad. "I don't think so. I think Dewfur requested a vigil for her. A few cats stayed up."

    Brookshadow glanced down at her kits. "If they haven't yet, then I want to say goodbye to her. Would you mind watching my kits?"

    "Two kits plus three kits? Oh yes, I'll still be alive when you get back," the gray she-cat joked. "Of course I'll watch them."

    Brookshadow stood as Cinderheart neared and gave her friend a lick on her cheek. "Thanks."

    "Of course." Cinderheart mewed, stepping into Brookshadow's nest to take her place. The kits shuffled for a moment, confused by the sudden cold and return of warmth, then settled back into the curve of Cinderheart's stomach. Brookshadow smiled at them, then took a breath and trotted outside. The cold hit her like a wave. Her fur fluffed up instantly and she wondered why kits would ever want to play in this cold. She glanced around the clearing and saw the huddled shapes of a few cats. She padded softly over, hearing her paws crunch on the small amount of frost that had build onto the patches of grass in ThunderClan's ravine. As she neared, she was surprised to see Dovewing and Ivypool crouched next to Dawnkit's body, as well as Jayfeather. Leafpool was near with her head bowed, however the look in her eye determined that she was still available for any cats who needed her.

    Finally Brookshadow's gaze fell onto Dewfur. His pelt wasn't fluffed up at all; it was as though he were numb with grief. Brookshadow felt her stomach tighten as her eyes fell on Dawnkit's tiny form. She was so small. She padded towards the cats and rested her tail tip on Dewfur's shoulder. The gray tom blinked blearily up at her with grief-stricken eyes, then gave a weak smile. Brookshadow knelt down next to him and pushed her nose into her kit's cold fur. The tabby queen felt a wave of emotion swell and swallowed back a yowl of grief. She closed her eyes, letting the cold in Dawnkit's body freeze her nose.

    "Campmates, it is time for us to bury Dawnkit."

    Brookshadow looked up. She wasn't sure how long she'd been lying there, pressed against Dawnkit, but Bramblestar was trotting towards them, sadness in his gaze.

    "Time to say your final goodbyes. Brookshadow, Dewfur, I know this must be particularly hard for you."

    Brookshadow took a deep breath. This was how life worked. Some lived, and some died. You could grieve and remember those who had gone, or you could refuse to allow yourself peace. That was simply how life worked. Simply how she would live now, and be gone all too soon.

    She lifted herself to her paws, stretching her stiff leg and neck muscles, feeling the onset of soreness. Mousefur and Purdy, along with Sandstorm, came forward as the Elders whom were to bury Dawnkit. Brookshadow felt curiosity flit in her pelt - Sandstorm wasn't yet an elder. But perhaps she would be, soon; she was one of the oldest cats who still remembered the old forest, Firestar's mate. Brookshadow leaned her head forward, allowing her muzzle brush the cold, soft fur of Dawnkit one last time.

    "The dawn of our kits' lives, you will always be remembered," she whispered solemnly, then withdrew her muzzle from her kit. The elders, whom had waited respectfully for just a few moments more, paused to glance around. No other cat made a move toward Dawnkit, and so Sandstorm bent her head, grasping Dawnkit's scruff gingerly between her teeth. Mousefur led the way out through the thorn barrier, Purdy taking up the rear, and Sandstorm falling into solemn step between them.

Brookshadow watched until the thorn barrier stopped shivering, then she turned away, knowing she was letting go of her kit. She felt something brush along her back and smelled an extremely familiar scent weave around her. Featherdapple. Slight irritation made her pelt prick. She'd just gotten back; hopefully Featherdapple wasn't planning a lecture for her. As she walked slowly back to the Nursery, a slightly surprised squeak coming from Featherdapple at Brookshadow's ignorance of her sister, Brookshadow felt her right paw slide into a divot large enough that her paw rolled and sent a spike of pain up her foreleg, and Brookshadow gave a small jump backward, a hurt yelp escaping her throat. She felt the tenderness of her breakage come flooding back; she wasn't supposed to be putting much weight, if any, on it- Leafpool's orders as well as her own. But with her thoughts wrapped up about getting home and with the kits being born, and then Dawnkit, she'd completely forgotten. She felt a tongue rasp over her paw and was startled to see Leafpool.

“I thought I told you to be careful with that paw,” Leafpool mewed gently between licks.

“You did. I forgot.” Brookshadow replied, watching Leafpool examine her tender paw.

“I think it's alright. If you think it needs anything, just stop by. But be more careful.” Leafpool sat up and gave Brookshadow a nudge.

“Thank you. I will,” Brookshadow mewed, returning the friendly nudge and turning and pushing her way through the nursery entrance. She glanced at her nest and saw Cinderheart wrapped around her kits, gently cooing to them.

Brookshadow trotted over, a slight limp in her step now that she was reminded of her pain, her tail flicking and a smile touching her muzzle. “Thank you, Cinderheart.”

Her friend glanced up with a start, but then she smiled and stood, Brookshadow quickly taking her place. The kits mewled a protest at the disappearance of Cinderheart, then they smelled milk and nestled into Brookshadow, suckling.

It worried Brookshadow at just how easily the kits adjusted to a completely different cat taking her place. She wondered if the kits knew when a different cat other than her was with them, but she figured it didn't much matter. She wouldn't be going anywhere.

“They're really cute,” Cinderheart purred.

“Thank you.” Brookshadow smiled down at her kits, her tail brushing over their small backs.

“Have you decided names yet?”

Brookshadow glanced at the bramble entrance. “I would if Dewfur would come in and help,” she mewed jokingly.

Cinderheart purred in amusement. “It sure does take some time, although-” she trailed off as the entrance to the den shivered.

“Well, speak of the devil,” Brookshadow mewed, nodding a greeting to Dewfur.

Her gray mate purred amusement and settled beside her, flicking his tail at Cinderheart. “I think your kits may or may not be messing with Foxleap.”

Cinderheart glanced, startled, at Dewfur, then, seeing his expression, let a laugh roll from her throat. “I see. I think I'll go help them.”

Dewfur's whiskers twitched in amusement as Cinderheart pushed out if the den. “So. Names.”

“Yes. I was thinking about naming this one Torrentkit,” Brookshadow mewed, brushing her tail over the brown tabby.

“I like that name.” Dewfur mewed, leaning down to give Torrentkit a few gentle licks.

“What do you think about this one?” she asked, nudging the orange and black striped she-kit.

Dewfur was quiet for a few moments, watching the kit. “Sandpiperkit. I like that name,” he offered, giving his chest a few licks.

“Sandpiperkit.” Brookshadow tried it out on her tongue. “I like it too. Torrentkit-” she brushed her tail over each of the kits in turn- “and Sandpiperkit.”

“Our kits,” Dewfur murmured.

Brookshadow gazed at her kits and felt a scent wreath around her. Familiar, yet she didn't know it. A tiny orangish kit appeared before her, her pelt shimmering with stars. Brookshadow gasped. “Dawnkit,” she whispered.

Dawnkit dipped her head, then turned to her siblings. “Momma, just know that what will happen is still not your fault. We are not punishing you. It's simply how it turns out.”

Brookshadow watched her kit, feeling grief tug her heart. What did Dawnkit mean? Her smallest kit's eyes gleamed with wisdom. “Okay, Dawnkit. I don't know what you are meaning, but I trust you. I'll remember it.”

Dawnkit blinked at her. Then she smiled and gave her a nuzzle, curling her small body underneath Brookshadow's chin. “I love you, Momma. I didn't want to leave. That's just what happened.”

“I know, dear.”

Brookshadow smiled as Dawnkit brushed against her. Then she felt cold replace what had been warm, and she saw that Dawnkit had disappeared. But her foreboding words stuck in mind.