"Brookshadow..." The light brown tabby turned her head to see Dewfur, halfway through the ivy curtain.

Brookshadow stood, folding her ears back guiltily. "It's not because I don't love them, or want them. It's because I do love and want them. They don't deserve me as a mother, though. Everyone knows about what happened, so everyone will know these kits as the ones that resulted from it. Not as my kits."

"ThunderClan wouldn't do that, Brookshadow. You know that." Dewfur mewed, stepping fully into the den.

"It doesn't change the fact that their life is going to be hard. I'd rather them have a normal warrior life than one caused by all this drama." Brookshadow mewed, her voice hardening.

Dewfur sighed, nodding a few times. "I did say that it was your decision to make... they are your kits, after all. I just hope that you've thoroughly thought about this."

The light brown queen watched as Dewfur turned and headed outside. She sighed, sitting down. Leafpool watched her for a few moments, then headed towards the ivy curtain. "I'm going to let Bramblestar know that we're going to the Moonpool. Don't worry, I'll just tell him I need to confer with StarClan and that I want you to take me."

Brookshadow nodded and curled back into her nest. If she was going to travel to Moonpool, she should have her rest. Her eyes slowly drifted closed.

It was not a very good rest. She kept on dreaming of kits, calling out to her, asking her to help them. They were all in some form of danger: Some were drowning, some were being attacked by snakes, badgers, foxes, even other cats, some were dangling off of the side of a cliff face... There were thousands of variants. And Brookshadow couldn't save any of them. Her paws were rooted to the ground each time, and she heard and watched as the kits' wails grew weaker and weaker. She jumped awake each time, only to fall back asleep moments later. She was dreaming of a kit burning to death when Leafpool nudged her awake.

"Wh-what? Where's the kit?" Brookshadow sputtered, jumping awake.

Leafpool folded her ears back, confusion flashing in her gaze. "What kit?"

Brookshadow realized where she was and took a breath, shaking her head. "N-nothing."

"I was waking you up because it's time to go." Leafpool nudged a leaf wrap towards her. "Here, eat these. They're travelling herbs."

"What did Bramblestar say?" Brookshadow asked, leaning forward and lapping the herbs up, feeling to tang of them on her tongue.

"We're all good to go," Leafpool answered. "He was a little confused as to why I wanted you to go, but I told him that it was for protection. You did just battle with him, after all. I told him you were up for it. He didn't question me after that."

Brookshadow swiped her tongue around her jaws and stood, giving a small stretch and wincing as her kits did the same. She curled her tail around her stomach. Soon they wouldn't have to worry about anything except being happy in StarClan.

Leafpool watched her, then started out. Brookshadow followed her. Dewfur stopped them at the camp entrance to wish them safe travels. Brookshadow gave him a nuzzle and set out for Moonpool, just behind Leafpool. As they trotted along, Brookshadow kept getting flashes of the kits in distress. Brookshadow felt her ears flatten. She was suddenly a lot less sure of her choice.

It was nearly sunset, and Leafpool was leading her to a drop in the ground. Brookshadow stopped, furrowing her brow in confusion. Leafpool looked back at her and flicked her tail. "Come on."

Brookshadow took a few more steps forward and saw a spiral stone staircase, which Leafpool was now trotting down. Brookshadow followed and felt her paws slip into notches on the ground. She paused and looked underneath one of her paws to see a marking, a paw print that was worn into the stone by thousands of generations of cats. Brookshadow breathed a silent, "Wow," and continued down the ramp. Brookshadow blinked as she saw the pool of clear, sparkling water; Leafpool trotted up to it and sat next to it. Brookshadow uncertainly followed and sat next to her.

Leafpool cleared her throat. "So what you're going to have to do is touch your nose to the water. After that, StarClan will come and... take your kits' spirits. If at any time during the procedure, you want it to stop, you can tell them. But after it is done, it is done. StarClan won't be able to give your kits' spirits back after it is all finished. During the procedure, StarClan will take a kit's spirit, and then ask you if you are okay with giving them the spirit. You can only say yes or no. You can't nod or shake your head. For purposes."

Brookshadow took a breath. "Okay."

Leafpool nodded. "Touch your nose to the water."

Brookshadow leaned forward and touched the water, ever so lightly, with her nose. Cold gripped her body. When she opened her eyes, she could see herself lying down by the water's edge. Leafpool gently dragged her body away from the edge, then touched the water herself. Her body slumped as she fell into a deep sleep. Then another Leafpool figure appeared beside her. Only she was transparent.

Leafpool cleared her throat. "Bluestar."

Brookshadow turned her head and saw the gray-blue she-cat standing next to her body. "Leafpool."

Brookshadow watched as Bluestar nodded at her, then turned and gently pressed her paw against Brookshadow's body. A spirit appeared beside her, small, innocent. She blinked and looked around, her ears twitching in confusion.

Bluestar smiled down at the kit, then looked over to Brookshadow. "May I take the spirit of this kit into StarClan, Brookshadow?"

Brookshadow felt her throat tighten. "Y-yes."

Bluestar blinked her eyes sympathetically at her, then bent her head down to the kit. "You will be safe in StarClan." She gently touched the kit's nose with hers, and Brookshadow let out a grunt of pain, curling herself in towards herself. Pain was flashing in her stomach area, a violent stabbing feeling.

Leafpool stood by her side and supported her. "I'm sorry. I forgot to mention that." She whispered.

Brookshadow straightened a bit and let out a breath. "It's okay."

Bluestar touched Brookshadow's body again. Another kit appeared, similar to her sister. "May I take the spirit of this kit into StarClan, Brookshadow?" The blue-gray queen asked again.

Brookshadow looked at the kit that had been accepted into StarClan. She was staring at Brookshadow, but her eyes were full of hurt. Did she think that Brookshadow was giving them away because she didn't love them? The kit saw her looking and narrowed her eyes, turning away. Brookshadow's heart broke.

She couldn't let these kits go, not if they didn't understand why she was giving them up.

"No, Bluestar." Brookshadow meowed, looking at the StarClan she-cat. "I can't give them up. It isn't fair of me to end their lives when they haven't even had a chance to begin."

Brookshadow could feel Leafpool's gaze on her. Bluestar smiled and looked down. "Over here, kits."

The other kit that had turned away from Brookshadow now scurried over to Bluestar.

"I am giving you back to your mother. She deserves you, more than we do." She gently touched her nose to the kits' noses, and Brookshadow sighed in relief as she saw their spirits fade, and felt a warm feeling where the stabbing pain had been only moments before.

Bluestar trotted over to Brookshadow and smiled, touching her blue-gray nose to Brookshadow's. "I'm proud that you saw that before it was too late. We would not have judged you... most of us... but we are pleased that you will be carrying these kits. Go well, Brookshadow."

Brookshadow opened her eyes. It was dark, so it took a moment for her eyes to adjust. She was lying on the stone flooring, and Leafpool was slowly standing up from where she was lying. Brookshadow blinked a few times and slowly stood up, taking a breath. Leafpool turned to her and smiled. "I'm proud of you, Brookshadow."

Brookshadow smiled back. "I don't see why, but thank you."

Leafpool chuckled and looked around the darkness. "We should start heading home."

Brookshadow nodded, and Leafpool led the way out of the hollow, then started the long journey to ThunderClan. Very soon though, Brookshadow felt exhaustion tugging at her paws, making it hard to focus. As she walked she felt her eyes beginning to drift closed. She tripped over something, and fell onto the ground with a yelp and a snap.

Brookshadow felt pain shoot up through her foreleg, and she could barely hold back a scream. Leafpool had turned around and was now peering at her through the darkness. "Are you okay? Brookshadow!"

Brookshadow groaned in pain and hissed through her teeth. "I-I don't think so."

Leafpool started sniffing at her, but then she gave up with a sigh. "I can't see in the dark. We'll have to stop here, I'll get you some poppy seeds and inspect it in the morning. I'll be right back." And then she was gone.

Brookshadow curled up, trying not to move her foreleg, and whispered to her kits. "It's alright, little ones. It's alright."

Brookshadow wasn't sure how much time had passed, but Leafpool came back. There was a rustling sound, and Brookshadow made out Leafpool shaking what seemed to be a flower. A few tiny seeds fell out, and Leafpool pushed them towards her. "Here, eat these, it'll numb the pain so you can get some rest."

Brookshadow lapped the seeds up and felt as Leafpool lay down next to her, keeping her warm. Brookshadow stayed awake as the pain slowly was numbed, and then she began to feel tired again. She laid her head down on her paws and closed her eyes, falling asleep.

The next morning, Brookshadow awoke with a groan. She started to stretch then yelped in pain as she moved her forepaw. Paws moved, and as saw Leafpool turning to her.

"You're awake," She mewed, coming over. "I didn't inspect your paw, because I didn't want to wake you. So I need to do that now, okay? It'll most likely hurt."

Brookshadow grunted, feeling the pain slowly recede from her initial movement. "Okay. Just be gentle-"

Leafpool leaned forward and pinned her leg down. "Can you move?"

Brookshadow tugged at her leg, and it moved a little. Leafpool tightened her grip and Brookshadow unsuccessfully tried again. "Not now."

Leafpool nodded and leaned down towards her paw, running her paw gingerly across the surface. Her brow furrowed, and Brookshadow watched her carefully. "Uh, what part of this is going to-" She broke off with a yowl of pain as Leafpool hit her paw.

Leafpool flinched, chuckling a bit. "Sorry. Testing."

Brookshadow gave her a sour look. "Thanks."

Leafpool gave another chuckle and released Brookshadow's paw. "Can you move it?"

"Not without it hurting-"

"That wasn't the question. Can you move it, at all?" Leafpool mewed again.

Brookshadow lifted her foreleg and attempted to move her paw, but grunted as pain shot through her. She felt Leafpool gently pushing her foreleg back down to the ground.

"Okay, good news, bad news. Which first?" Leafpool asked with a sad smile.

"Uh... Bad news?"

"Your wrist is broken, it'll take it a week or two to heal to the point where you can walk with a huge limp, and you're the only one here who knows how to hunt properly."

Brookshadow sighed, groaning a bit. "And the good news?"

"I'm here, so I can help you heal quicker."

Brookshadow looked at her for a few seconds, then groaned and put her head in between her paws.

"Don't even think about blaming yourself, Brookshadow," Leafpool mewed with a serious tone to her voice

"I'm not," Brookshadow responded, her voice muffled. "Just contemplating our lives now."

Leafpool let out a small laugh. "Stay here, I'm going to go see if I can catch anything for you to eat."

Brookshadow raised her head as she left. Giving another groan, she looked around. It wasn't a bad place for them to be stuck in for about a week; it was a peaceful glade. Brookshadow recognized it from their trek to Moonpool the previous day, in fact. They hadn't gotten too close to home, so to keep going wasn't an option.

Sighing, she closed her eyes and pricked her ears. She could hear a few birdcalls in the distance, but that wasn't what she was listening for. She slowed and quieted her breathing, able to hear her heart beating, slowly, slower. There. That sound. Muted, almost like a whisper. The sound of her kits growing. When Brookshadow opened her eyes, she started to see a pair of eyes staring back at her. Brookshadow quickly recognized the she-cat, though. Bluestar.

"It's a nice sound, isn't it?" Bluestar mewed, a smile on her face.

Brookshadow gave a small laugh. "Yes."

Bluestar looked down at her paw. "You've gotten yourself in quite the predicament, haven't you?"

"Don't mention it." Brookshadow frowned.

"I won't, don't worry." Bluestar laughed. "I will, however, put a bit of StarClan-grown herbs there, though." She leaned down and gently wrapped Brookshadow's paw in a leaf.

Brookshadow let out a breath as the dull ache that she hadn't realized was there dissipated. "Thank you." Bluestar's touch hadn't even bothered it.

Bluestar smiled and twitched her ear. "Your Medicine Cat is coming back. Go well."

Brookshadow blinked as she faded, and Leafpool came into view with a blackbird in her jaws. The ThunderClan Medicine Cat placed it at her feet, then looked at the leaf wrap. "Where did that come from?"

"A bit of ancestral help. Good work." The brown tabby motioned to the blackbird.

"It was a bit difficult," Leafpool meowed, settling down beside Brookshadow.

"You don't have to sleep near me if you don't want to, Leafpool." Brookshadow mewed, smiling at her. "I don't need the comfort if you don't want to give it."

"The nights are getting colder," Leafpool responded. "You can't keep up with warming yourself and the kits. Now eat."

Brookshadow smiled and took a bite of the prey, feeling her stomach fill. She nudged the blackbird towards Leafpool. "Here, you should have had hunter's share."

"You're a queen," Leafpool answered. "You needed to eat first. Finish that up, I'll go hunting again later."

"Exactly." Brookshadow mewed. "You'll need the energy. Now eat the rest."

Leafpool sighed and bent her head to take the last part of the blackbird. She sat up, licking her lips. She stood and stretched. "Rest up. You'll need a lot of it to heal that paw of yours."

Brookshadow smiled and laid her head down. "What are you going to do?"

"Go look for some more herbs to help, and probably to hunt some more. Get some sleep while I'm gone."

Brookshadow watched as Leafpool again trotted away, then closed her eyes and slowly drifted back into sleep.