SAYING GOODBYE HAD always been hard to Jax. Even when he was young and his parents would take their yearly vacation from their lives and their kids, it was hard to say goodbye to them. And it was hard to say goodbye to teachers when he would move up a grade. This became so increasingly apparent when he had to say goodbye to Evan, his brother, to months at a time.

Instead of it only being a week or a few months and maybe some casual hugs in the hallway, it was months. Months without his older brother, who was gone and entertaining others while Jax worried about school and grades and constantly heard the questions his parents asked. Why don't you have a job? Oh, you do? Then why aren't you making as much as your brother?

And when Evan was home, it was only for a couple weeks – a month at the most – and his parents and old friends would hog up his attention so that there'd be none for Jax. That was okay. Maybe bitterness grew inside him, but that was okay – it was just his new normal.

So here he was now, leaving New York from a trip that he didn't even want to go on originally. Joe had kissed him goodbye at the hotel so now he was at the airport with Evan and Roman. It was hard to say goodbye after so many nice days, lazy days that he soaked up happily. That same terrible feeling he hated pitting in his stomach, not that he could stop it.

"Hey," Evan shook his shoulder gently, "We're boarding, come on."

Jax nodded and they boarded the plane. He took his seat away from Evan and Roman, who got so sit next to one other. It was okay, he didn't mind it. He placed in an earbud, closing his eyes already. He hated saying goodbye, he just wanted to be home so maybe then he could try and forget everything.

Maybe that would help. Maybe it would help more later. He didn't know, but he didn't want to be awake to entertain the sadness.