jaxass
can we talk?

even steven
yeah always

jaxass
i wanna talk about
you telling everyone
my real name

even steven
oh. is it really a big deal?
i didn't think it was

jaxass
it really is. i didn't want
them to know and you still
did

even steven
it's just jackson. it's not even
a big deal and i doubt that
they're going to start calling
you jackson

jaxass
that's not why im mad you
told them

even steven
then why?

jaxass
because i hate my name and
i started calling myself jax
as a way to distance myself
from it and i purposefully
never told them because i
wanted to move past it and
be friends with people who
didn't know it

even steven
but why is it such a big deal?

jaxass
because every time i hear
someone call me jackson i
feel like im a child again and
i just got in trouble with mom.
i feel like im the disappointment
that mom and dad think i
am and i don't want to feel
that way

even steven
they don't think you're a disappointment

jaxass
yes they do evan. they see
me and ask why im not as
famous as you or why i don't
make as much money or why
im not as handsome and why
im not as nice or refined and
why i don't dress as nicely
or why im not as smart. everything
i am is just a downgrade them
you and im just the disappointment,
the child they wished they never
had

even steven
but that's not who you are

jaxass
that's what they call him and
what they think i am. i am
nothing special to them, i just
have a name with so many
expectations that i didn't meet
and so i didn't want anyone to
know because then it feels like
i hold the pressure of the name
again and i don't want it

even steven
sorry, i didn't think it was a big
deal

jaxass
i know you didn't but you
still told them even though i
told you not to. you didn't
care what i wanted

even steven
im sorry

jaxass
i know and im not disputing that
im just telling you how i feel
because it hurts so much going
home and seeing them look at
you like you brought them the
stars and how they ignore me
and how they never call me
jax but jackson. i went back to
that when you told them and im
not sure if i'll ever leave that

even steven
i didn't mean to ruin everything

jaxass
i know

jaxass
i just wanted you to know because
i have spent too long keeping
everything from you

even steven
im sorry

jaxass
i know, and i forgive you but
i just need some time to myself
so that i can work through this
because im not and i want
to

even steven
okay

―

jaxie has left bhad bhitches !