lvi. MESSAGES


jax
hi i hate everyone so can
you talk to me?

joe
sure? what happened?



you have changed joe to hoseph !



jax
i know it's not really anything and
i'm probably overthinking it but
i don't know

hoseph
???

jax
like i know it's not a big deal
and everything but it feels like
it is because i didn't want
anyone to know and evan still
told them and i know that they're
okay and it's completely fine
to them but i hate it and i
didn't want them to know or know
why i hate that thing but evan
still told them everything

hoseph
okay im kinda lost here

jax
right. sorry

jax
evan told our friends my real
name

hoseph
your real name? is it like kevin
or something and you're just like
other celebrities who just rename
themselves because they can?

jax
no

jax
jax is just a nickname of my
real name and i hate that name.
it's fine i guess but i never really
liked it and i didn't want anyone
to know because i hate it so much,
like my middle name. but evan
didn't care and he told them and
i know it's not a big deal because
it's just my name but it wasn't for
him to tell

jax
it's my name and it's my thing that
i didn't want them to know. not because
i don't trust them or whatever,
but because i wanna forget that
jax is a nickname. i like to think of
it as my real name and forgetting
what my parents actually named
me

joe
well why don't you like your real
name?

jax
evan told them it's because
there was another kid in my class
with my name and he was more
popular than i was so everyone
liked him more because that's what
i told him when i said that i just
wanted to be called jax and nothing
else, but that's not true

jax
i'm named after my dad. evan got
the name of our grandma, kinda.
her name was eva and she died
about a month before he was born
so they named him evan in honor
of her. they were going to name
evan after my dad, but since that
didn't happen i got his name

hoseph
and you don't like sharing a name
with your dad?

jax
it's not the name. the name is fine
and i don't care about it, it's just that
i have a complicated relationship
with my parents

hoseph
how so?

hoseph
you don't have to tell me if you don't
want to

jax
they always liked evan more than
me. evan was a teenager and he
was making millions from the band
and movies and all that while i
had a part time job at mcdonalds.
i could never compare to him and
my parents always reminded me
of that

jax
they always asked why i didn't
make as much as him or why
i wasn't successful like him, never
cared if i told them that i got an
a on a really hard test that i studied
hours on because evan was selling
out arenas and what was i doing?
clapping myself on the back for
getting an a on a fucking test. it
never compared

hoseph
and they did this all the time?

jax
i still don't like going home because
they still do it. they ask me why
im not rich and famous like evan
and why i can't sing or act like
him. they always light up when
they see him and ignore me. evan
tries to include in activities when
we go home but they don't want
me there and i never want to be
there

hoseph
so you hate your name because
of your parents

jax
yeah

hoseph
and evan told your friends your
name because he thought it was
okay

jax
yep

hoseph
damn

jax
yeah

jax
i know he didn't think it was a big deal
and if he knew the truth he would've
never told them, but i still hate it. jax
is a name separate from my parents
that has nothing to do with them, like
i want my life to be and what i've
tried to have. they didn't know my
real name and it kept them separate
from my parents but now they know

hoseph
and the worlds have merged together

jax
yeah

hoseph
im sorry

jax
it's fine im just being over dramatic

hoseph
no you're not. you have valid reasons
for not wanting them to know and he
didn't care. you're not being dramatic

jax
yeah but they don't know that.
they just think im throwing a
temper tantrum or something

hoseph
well fuck what they think, they aren't right

jax
maybe

jax
thanks for listening

hoseph
no problem. i'll always be here

jax
okay. thanks

Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top