Chapter Twenty-Five
Ha ha...ha...
I'm so sorry ._.
So I always planned to have Otabek try to kiss Mila in his drunkness, though I also thought drunk Otabek would be a bit more fun and flirty by showing his overly happy side first but idk the story just panned out this way and I couldn't find a place to slip it in there.
Be happy though because originally I was planning on flirty drunk Otabek hitting on Yuri, then Yuri denies him, then Otabek gets mad and actually kisses Mila.
But I didn't want to make Mila a bad guy and Otabek isn't a cheater, he is just upset, so I conveyed it more to show that he is just trying to get at Yuri but he didn't actually kiss her so...
*looks around at the hell burning up in this book*
...Everything is fine.
Okay, in all seriousness, this way I cut out Otabek and Mila being assholes but I also cut out the scene that would have the fun side of drunk Otabek. I just wanted to let you know why I didn't write about drunk Otabek hitting on Yuri as I'm sure that's what many of you were expecting.
Maaaybe as a compromise I will write a short story one day involving a flirty drunk Otabek for my YOI one shots book.
Bert Ernywey, I wrote out this fight in order to bridge to an ending scene that I had thought of one day so dw, just read.
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[Yuri's POV]
I've curled up under my blankets as if trying to find warmth in this icy abyss of pain. My pillow is soaked in tears.
How is it possible to be rejected by the same person twice without confessing to them even once?
I haven't left my room since I entered it after coming home from the wedding the night before last. Otabek is out there. I can't handle looking into those hate filled eyes again. I haven't even left to eat...not that I'm hungry. I can't feel anything besides the throbbing pain in my chest.
Alina visited my room a few times yesterday, trying to give me food. I feel so sorry for her. I wanted her stay here to be fun and welcome but she had to spend it with a crying mess...
Otabek tried to talk to me yesterday too but only once because I made it very clear that I do not want to see him and I suspect Alina advised him to give me time.
Alina...she'll be going home today. I wonder what the time is.
A soft knock on my door immediately answers my question.
"Yuri...it's me, Alina. I'm going now." Alina says, stepping into my room.
I lift myself up and stretch out my arms. Alina comings running towards me and throws her arms around my neck.
"I won't try to convince you to speak to him, I know you need time...but I know you will eventually." She whispers. "So help yourself out. Sooner is better than later."
I pull away to look at her. "How do you know? I mean, why should I?"
Alina smiles. "Because you love him."
I feel a pang in my chest. Her words, though true, only deepen my sorrow.
"Please don't be sad." Alina says. "I don't want the last thing I see to be your frowning face."
I smile weakly for her. "I'll miss you, Ally."
"I'll miss you too." Alina gives me one last hug before leaving my bedroom.
As sad as I am to see her go, I'm a little relieved to know that Otabek will be out of the house for a couple of hours to take her to the airport. Once I hear the front door click shut, I pull myself out of bed and slouch into the living room.
I can't stop picturing Otabek chasing after Mila as if he...as if he loved her or something. I know he was drunk senseless, but that only means one of two things—either deep down Otabek does want to kiss Mila or he was just pretending to hurt me. It doesn't matter which one is true, both of them break my heart.
I slump down on the couch and sigh.
Why is loving Otabek so hard...? Catching that bouquet was supposed to be my sign. Maybe our pathetic collision is proof that we will never work out.
Part of me keeps thinking, he was trying to catch the bouquet for you. Maybe...maybe he does love you.
But if that disgusting display he put on is how he treats the people he supposedly has feelings for, then I'm not too sure he would be the best partner. My one insecurity...he targeted Mila just to make me suffer. That's messed up.
I curl my legs up into my chest and burry my face into them.
It's indescribable...Someone I have gone through so much to love telling me that I don't even care—that they don't even care. That feeling is unbearable.
Warm tears begin to trickle down my cheeks.
What do I do...when the only one who can fix my heart, is the one who broke it?
I soon cry out all of my emotions—my inner frustration, my heartache...my disappointment. I cry until I have nothing left but emptiness inside.
Before I know what's happening, the door swings open and Otabek walks in. He stops dead in his tracks, his eyes wide with disbelief.
"Yuri! You came out of your room." Otabek observes dumfounded.
To be honest I feel a little light headed and disoriented. I'm probably weak from not eating anything, as well as dehydrated from all the crying.
I calmly stand up and walk away into the kitchen. Otabek follows me but I completely ice him out; I just get a cup of tap water and slowly sip away without even acknowledging his presence.
"Are you okay?" Otabek asks softly. "Y-You look like you've been crying."
My grip tightens around the cup, my knuckles turning white. "Well that's what people do when they're upset, isn't it?"
"I-I didn't know—I mean, I thought you locked yourself up because you were mad—"
I slam my cup down on the kitchen counter. "You didn't know?" I repeat, my voice rising. "I'm hurt, Otabek. Of course I'm hurt!"
"Yuri..." Otabek whispers. "I'm sorry..."
"It's okay. It's not like you've ever understood my feelings before." I say bitterly. "According to you I never cared, so why should I care now? Mean, loner, Yuri doesn't have feelings does he?"
"You know I didn't mean anything that I said or did. I was drunk and upset. I—I was heartbroken, Yuri!" Otabek explains desperately. "I was trying to get you to notice me after months of me chasing after your affection. I was weak and I snapped! I understand that I embarrassed you and I said terrible things even though you have been the most caring friend to me. I didn't realise how much it would hurt your feelings at the time, I was delusional and intoxicated—"
He embarrassed his friend...sure...that's why I have been crying my heart out for two days. Frustration boils in my blood. I've been through so much heartache because I loved him so much, and he doesn't even know. I just want to scream it at him. I want him to know how much he hurt me.
"You humiliated me in the middle of a wedding! You said mean things that broke my heart and—and you tried to kiss Mila just to make me hurt! If that's how you are going to act then I'm sick of loving you. I'm sick of crying for you!" I rant. "You have no idea how painful it has been trying to love you. How dare you say that I don't care! HOW DARE YOU!"
Hot blood burns in my cheeks. I have screamed out almost every feeling lingering deep inside me. Now I understand how Otabek must have felt on the night of the wedding. I think back to all the times I have acted out over the same stupid reason. All of my built up emotions are exploding. I'm sure if I was drunk I would do something stupid too...but I wouldn't say such horrible things and try to hook up with someone else.
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[Otabek's POV]
I...I can't believe what I'm hearing. So many mixed emotions are swirling within me. It pains me to think that I have hurt Yuri, but...but he just said that he loves me? I'm confused yet relieved. I'm happy and yet so angry at myself for breaking his heart. I feel as though I'm about to cry.
"You can make excuses all you want but if that is how you treat the people you care about then you can just go ahead and stop caring about me!" Yuri says.
My heart sinks. He is right. My behaviour disgusts and angers me. I was just so drunk and stupid. I know that is not an excuse and that Yuri has every right not to forgive me, I don't care about that I just care that I have hurt him so badly.
"After all that we have been through, all it takes is some Champagne to get you to throw yourself at Mila? And the worst part is that you don't even realise how that makes me feel!" Yuri continues to vent.
This temper tantrum is all just because he loves me and I'm too stupid to realise. I was so selfish in thinking that Yuri didn't care about me, when he was going through exactly the same torture as me. This is exactly how I was feeling at the wedding. He has totally cracked and is still continuing to rage,
"I gave you a home! I gave you your own room and bought your bed! I cook every meal for you just so we can sit and eat together! That's—That's right!"
Yuri storms over to a nearby cupboard, throws open the doors, snatches the cooking apron from inside and slams them shut again. He shoves the apron on without breaking his glare on me even once.
"I was the one who was prepared to cook for you and eat with you for the rest of our lives—not Mila! I am the cook, not Mila!" Yuri shouts, pointing violently at the 'Kiss the Cook' apron. "So you should be kissing ME, not Mila!"
Without hesitation, I grab the back of Yuri's neck and pull his lips into mine. All of the built up anger and sexual tension releases in a passionate kiss. I can feel Yuri's energy surging through my body. Electricity sparks with each time our crashing lips contact. Yuri gently bites my lip as he pulls away.
"Was that just to shut me up?" He asks, a hint of anger still left in his voice. "Don't think you're getting off that easi—"
"No. That was because I'm in love and insanely attracted to you." I interrupt. "This, is to shut you up."
I kiss Yuri again. His lips are soft and tender. Warmth spreads throughout my entire body with every touch.
This time I am the one to pull away, leaving Yuri wanting more. He looks up at me with yearning eyes; looks like I have tamed the tiger.
I smile slyly at him.
"What?" He says.
"Oh, nothing." I answer. "I was just thinking I built that extra bed for nothing..."
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