Myra's POV

'Listen you can go to hell with all my pleasures. Just don't come in front of me.' His one sentence cleared his much expected stance on our so called marriage.

He was not interested in flourishing our relationship and I had decided to keep it the way he wants.

For any relationship to work, it requires two matured people who are at least want to try to work with each other but in our case Neil closed himself in dark room. He was not even allowing single ray of light to come inside to heal him.

It's been two months for our marriage and we were falling into comfortable routine to avoid each other like plague. It was unsaid mutual understanding we stopped coming in front of other one.

In mornings, I used to lock my self in my room till Neil leaves home for his office.

Once he departs it was my time with my baby till his father comes back from his work.

Neev's breakfast, his bath, reading him different books and playing with him used to fly time with in a blink. In afternoon, after making Neev sleep, I started going to meet Granny, making sure to return back before my baby wakes up.

Even today, I have not told Granny about Neil and Neev. Her condition has started worsening lately giving pang to my heart.

'Her end is coming soon.' I have to make my heart strong.

In hospital, I was confronted by Andrew and Nancy. One was heartbroken where as other was extremly mad at me rest others passed weird or surprised look at me which I ignored.

'I won't ask why you took this decision? I will never ask you. But if you need anything any time. I am just a call away.' Andrew held me by my shoulders which gave much needed strength to me.

'I did it for Neev.' I knew, I owe explanations to Andrew.

Thankfully, he did not said anything after. We met few times on account of discussing Granny's health status and he kept it professional which increased my guilt to break his heart.

I hope he gets his true soulmate soon.

It was late evening, already 7:30, it's time for Neil to come back. I have already freshen up Neev like every evening.

I will leave him to play in his crib in his nursery and then hide my self in my room to avoid any encounter with Neil.

I saw my baby, from last few days he has started to stand up with support. He was trying to get up with the help of arm chair. I was admiring him.

"Come on Neev. Come to me" I raised my hands hoping he will take a step to me.

"Come baby"

But he lost his balance. Thud!

I guess he hurt his bumps as he took out his lips out making his eyes big like soccer ball.

He is so cute.

I could not stop and started laughing at his sulky face.

For sure he is proving himself as Neil's son, getting grumpy on every single thing. No DNA test required.

I threw his favourite ball and he is back in his mood to play.

He crawled towards me and stood holding my shoulders. I gave him support. "What do you want Neev?"

He buried his head in my neck. That was his way to ask me to pick him up. I kissed his chubby cheeks and he giggled making melodious voice.

It was late today for Neil to arrive. Generally, he comes back home by 7:30 - 8. But today even after 9 he was not at home.

Feeding Neev his dinner, change of cloths and making him sleep was his responsibility. Even though I want to do it, he is his father. Full day he used to get busy in his work but these few moments could be acting as boosters for Neil to fight with his inner turmoil.

Keeping an eye on clock, I finally fed Neev his food. I stayed in living room holding Neev in my lap. TV was on but my concentration was on main door. I was waiting for Neil to come back.

'Should I call him?' Thought crossed my mind.

Finally after long wait for his father, Neev slept in my arms.

'What should I do? Should I take him to my room? Should I keep him in Nursery? Or Neil's room? Overnight Neev sleeps in Neil's room in his crib but today his father is not there. I cannot keep him alone.'

'But if you keep him with you, Neil will create another scene, hurting you.'

When I was in two minds, I finally decided to keep Neev in Neil's room and stay outside just to keep a watch on my baby.

Clock stuck to 11, but Neil was still not at home. Now my heart grappled with unknown fear.

'I will wait for another half an hour else I will call his father.' I decided keeping Neev in his crib.

I turned to go after kissing his head. I switched on night lamp when there was lightning flashing sudden light in Neil's bedroom. Neev flinched but I kept my hand on his chest saying soothing lullaby which drifted him back to his slumber.

It started pouring heavily. I went to close curtains as lightening should not disturb my baby's sleep.

I stood in front of window.

Pouring rain drops was announcing the arrival of spring. Spring revives and reinvigorates soil after the colder winter months. Spring adds new life and new beauty.

Raindrops on glass reminded me Granny's words, 'the day the Lord created hope was probably the same day he created Spring.'

'Hope'

Just one word holds the entire existence of this universe.

'I hope for us.'

'This hope gives me strength to breath.'

'Strength to fight with our odds.'

'One day to win over our demons.'

'Hope for that one day is like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert.'

I raised my hand to catch rain drops falling on the glass window. Two arms encircled around my waist from back flinching me at my spot.

His touch.

He nuzzled his face in my hairs.

"Ohh thank god. You came back." His hot breath on my shoulder blade.

"Do you know how much I missed you?"

"You know I cannot live with out you. I need you. I need you." His lips on my neck, shudders passed down my spine.

"I knew you will be back to me."

"I love you."

He made me turn and kissed my forehead closing his eyes. Tears were flowing from his eye but his lips were enriched with small smile.

"I love you so much Meera" he mumbled against my skin.

"Myra" I had to break his reverie.

"Meera" He was still lost.

"Neil, I am Myra." He studied my face in dim light of night lamps.

Lightening flashed on his perplexed, teary, exhausted face.

He took step back keeping his eyes on my face, trying to find someone.

To be precise.... My sister.... My twin sister.

His teary eyes turned in to charcoal red in a moment when reality hit him hard.

"Get out" he looked everywhere but not at me.

"Neil"

"You don't have any right to enter in this room. GET OUT" He shouted on top of his voice.

Warm tears started streaming on my cheeks.

"Dare you step in this room again."

I bowed my head and was stepping out. I was at door step when I heard his ear piercing scream. It pinched my heart.

Neil ran towards crib to pick his son in his arms.

'I knew he needed me.'

Neil cooed Neev, but he was also stubborn like his father. He was crying, he was asking me to take him in my embrace by raising his hands looking at me.

'My baby was telling me to stop. To hold him. To love him'

I cannot fall weak at this time. Neil and Neev both needs me. I am aware of this as well as accepted where as the other one is in declining mode.

"Myra Leave" this time he whispered yet determined.

I felt he was begging me to go away.

I took a step but soft muffling sound pierced my heart. This time it was Neil. I turned to see his glassy eyes illuminated under night lamp light.

He was holding Neev near his heart whispering something in his ears.

I took a step out leaving father and son alone, hoping, praying to lord almighty to show his mercy on us.

'I know you Neil. You would have never hurt anyone like this to any stranger but right now situation is not in your or my favour.'

'I know you Neil. I know you from long.'

'I know you even before Meera came in your life.'

Neil Singhania, my teenage crush.

My violionist.

Those were the days when I did not even know his name. I knew him just a boy who used to come to "Soulful Music" academy on every Tuesdays evening.

When I was in my high school, my interest in music grew up. As per Mumma, I had melodious voice so she enrolled me in singing class in our near by locality.

I used to see Neil, waiting for his violin classes when I used to wait for my singing classes. He never observed me as he was a total bookworm. Always buried in some books.

Being introvert I could never gather courage to talk to him or make my presence visible to him.

But one day while coming back home after classes I saw him helping one old lady, a moment captured by my eyes and stored as a beautiful memory in my heart. After that day I started observing Neil.

He was different. He was kind, humble, he was dedicated. Though his eyes were the most fascinating for me. Innocent eyes holding dreams. His soft smile used to run my heart in its small confines.

I thought he was from common middle class family just like me. I started matching my timings with his for music classes. I used to wait for Tuesday's as I got to see him.

I hoped to get his attention but he was always busy in himself.

I never knew when I started stalking him, turning into teenage crush for him.

Then the time came for our music academy's musical concert. We all students required to perform. I had decided to not leave any chance to talk to him and initiate friendship. But may be it was not in my destiny.

I was waiting for him to come and perform. I was waiting for him to hear my song. My eyes were searching for his one glance. But he was nowhere to be seen.

I kept on waiting on following Tuesday for him to come but he just disappeared. Every Tuesday when I came back home I felt something breaking inside my chest.

After finishing my high school, my classmates asked me to be their date for prom party but every face which came in front of me I used to compared with my Violinist. And none of them could matched with him.

I had no idea how to find him. I was always a shy and quiet girl with hardly any friends. My nature did not help me to ask about him to anyone. I buried him in my memories of teenage.

Then Mumma met with an accident and our life turned upside down. Her sudden death made me mature more than my age. I had to stood up for Granny.

Those days, I thought at least Meera to visit us when Mumma passed away. Over the years we two sisters were hardly in contact though Mumma tried her best but Dad succeed in keeping Meera away from us. She never came... I don't know she even mourn over Mumma's death or not.

My internship letter from Trillium Hospital, compelled me and Granny to move back to Toronto. It was hard for both of us but eventually we fell in routine.

Then one fine day I got a call from Meera, she wanted me to meet someone.

And that someone was none other than Neil... my teenage crush.

They were engaged and were going to get married soon.

He was totally whipped with Meera.

My heart was broken, I cried. I cried hard the moment they both were out of my sight.

When after long battle with my heart I accepted the harsh reality and closed his all memories in tiniest part of my heart, destiny brought him in front of me again.

And today, this is my life. I have Neil as my husband.

Husband with loveless marriage.

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