A/N Thanks for your best wishes and condolences, been a rough six weeks. Lovely to know that you're all thinking of me. So here is the next chapter, hope it doesn't disappoint. Love to you all, MZxxx

Chapter Forty Four

Dinner on the rooftop, a walk in the park with the dogs. It was a beautiful end to a lovely weekend. Aaron was friendly, and occasionally romantic, but he didn't pressure her, and that made her so happy. So relaxed, and so comfortable.

But there was still the thought of the coming night. Did he want to sleep with her? Did he expect her to share her bed? Did she want to? It was all so worrying. And she could feel the curling tension in her stomach as the day progressed.

If Aaron was as worried, he hid it well. But then he didn't share her hang ups, he was confident and strong in all ways. She watched him from her place on the sofa opposite him, Cliffy was crawling over him and he was tickling the mutt, Coco jumped up, not wanting to miss out on the attention. It was cute to watch, and she smiled.

He spotted that and sat up, "you're laughing at us?" Glaring menacingly, he looked at the dogs, then howled, "let's get her!"

All three ran across the room and pounced on her, Cliffy licked her face, whilst Aaron started to tickle her – he knew she was ticklish. Coco just plonked herself on her chest, and she couldn't wriggle free without knocking her to the floor, she was trapped.

"Ganging up on me?" She managed to breathe through her tears of laughter.

Aaron must have taken pity on her, because he stopped his ministrations and sat back to look at her, lying there. Suddenly the heat turned up, and he nudged Cliffy to one side.

"I'm the only one who gets to kiss her Cliff, you know that."

And he did.

The dogs jumping on them finally forced them apart, but by that point, Julia was all soft and gooey, as pliable as putty in his hands. So he slipped on to the sofa next to her, dragging her across his lap to lie in his arms.

"You OK?"

She nodded, her head against his chest, "I'm good."

His laugh rumbled through his body and into hers, "so you're not lying there, wondering what happens later..." He stooped down and theatrically whispered, "...when the lights go out."

She rolled her eyes, even though he couldn't see that, he KNEW what she was thinking, the man was so bloody infuriating.

"No, not really."

He chuckled again, a deep grumble, "OK. IN that case, I want you curled up with me in my bed, always. But I know that you're worried about that. So it's OK. You get your bed, but I get kissed, tastes...touches...whenever I want to. That's the deal."

Heat washed over her as she digested his words, he was giving her an out, but that wasn't what she was focussing on, it was the latter. Before she could really process things, he was kissing her again. And as with the last kiss, she was lost.

"Shit."

He lifted his head and looked down at Julia, her lips looked swollen, her eyes glassy. She was beautiful anyway, but here, with this level of arousal in evidence, she blossomed. He meant what he said, he wasn't about to start stressing her out by dragging her into bed. Even if that was exactly what he wanted.

He had no agenda with her, but he knew that he had to keep chipping away at her defences, without scaring her off. Tomorrow, when he was in the office and out of the bubble that she seemed to pull him into, he'd plan his next steps.

Now he had to think about the evening, and being the perfect gentleman.

"So you're feeling up to going back to work tomorrow?"

She nodded, her eyes still dropped, "I've been off ten days, I have to get back into things."

"You're not concerned?"

This time she shook her head, pulling back to look at him, "I'm along way from being fucked up, but the counselling, all you've done....I feel better than I have in a long time, I feel optimistic, more than I have in a long time."

That pleased him, and he grinned, "that's brilliant news."

Reaching out, he grabbed the TV remote control and handed it to her, "then you get to choose the evenings entertainment."

She found a black and white film with Cary Grant starring, and relaxed back into his arms to watch it. He held her, the smile of satisfaction a feature of his face for the duration.

She must have fallen asleep, as she was woken by Aaron shaking her gently.

"You missed the end, but I've save it for you. Maybe you can watch it tomorrow?"

Julia blinked several times then shrugged, she was still trying to orientate herself. Aaron tugged her to her feet, then lead her towards her room, "hope you sleep well, I'll see you in the morning."

He kissed her forehead, then stepped back, waiting until she opened the door. Julia smiled awkwardly, then scuttled inside.

Her heart was pounding, her body throbbing as she stripped out of her clothes and pulled on her short pyjamas. It was so difficult, being in his company. She wanted more from him, she knew that. But she was so far out of her comfort zone that she had no idea what to do next. He occupied her every thought, and that was when they were apart. When she was with him, it was off the scale. She ran a hand through her hair as she contemplated the fact that she had just fallen asleep in his arms, so much for keeping her distance. She cleaned her teeth, tied back her hair, then lay in bed.

Then read a book.

Then played a game on her phone.

Nothing eased the tension that ran through her. She was wired, she wasn't sure she'd ever get to sleep. Julia honestly couldn't remember feeling so frustrated.

After punching her pillow half a dozen times, flipping from side to side and trying to read her book...again, she knew that it was futile. She needed a drink, maybe that would help.

A cold shower hadn't really reduced his ardour. He was still rock hard, it seemed that he was in this state perpetually. Lounging on his bed, only a dim reading lamp offering illumination, he flipped open his laptop, he was SO behind on work things, that was the affect that Julia Curtis was having on him. Lists of unopened emails blinked at him from his inbox, and he wondered when he had last let things build up like this. Grinning, he opened one from Carrie, sent early Saturday morning.

He'd barely opened and dealt with the next four when he heard a noise downstairs. That made his grin almost painful. She couldn't sleep, she was as affected by him as he was by her. Music to his ears. Did he go down and point things out to her? Or just wait?

Before he had chance to make a decision, he heard the creak at the bottom of the staircase that led to his room. His heart stopped for a moment, then he popped the laptop closed and slipped it under his bed. By the time Julia appeared in the doorway, a silhouette in the light from the lounge, he was lying down, hands behind head, eyes trained on her.

"You OK?" He was amazed that his voice was strong and clear when his insides were in turmoil.

He could see the white of her teeth, as she bit her lip, anxiety evident throughout her, this was so hard for her. She shrugged silently, and instead of pushing her to speak, he lifted the duvet and patted the mattress beside him. She rushed across the room and flew into his arms, her body heaving as she cried into his shoulder.

He held her, stroking her hair, knowing that she needed his comfort more than anything. It was a long time till she spoke, and then it was just a mumbled few words.

"I just need you to do this, hold me."

"I know, baby." He spoke into her hair, "I'm here."

And she fell asleep, softly snoring against his neck, an intoxicating sensation, that made his body tense, his heart race, but it was perfect. 

He woke before his six am alarm, gutted that he hadn't woken earlier in the night so that he could touch her, tease her again. There was no time now that it was early morning, she wasn't someone who he could rush. Hell, he couldn't rush with her. Instead he lay there with her wrapped around him and just felt her, breathed her, inhaled her.

He knew the moment she woke, tension coming into her pliant limbs, her breathing increasing in depth.

"Sorry."

It was the first word out of her mouth and he tilted his head so that he could see her eyes clearly. "For what?"

She blushed, it was one of her most endearing trends, he didn't think he could ever feel anger at her if she blushed. "Taking over your bed."

He waggled his eyebrows, "I've had worse things disturb my sleep."

"Did you sleep?"

He nodded, "you'd have known if I hadn't. I'd be waking you before now."

She sighed with relief, "shall I make us breakfast?"

Aaron could see the desperation in her eyes, her need to be an equal, she thought that she was taking from him, that this was a one-sided situation. Nothing could be further from the truth. He needed her, with her, he seemed to see life again. He wasn't sure when he became switched off to everything, life, fun...but he had. Now he was appreciating everything so much more than he had.

"You could join me in the shower?" She blushed again and he chuckled, "not feeling that brave today?"

He could see her mind ticking over, she was torn, scared. He wanted her in his shower more than anything else, but only because she wanted to. Never through some sort of guilt.

"I'll be quick, and I'd love a bagel...some coffee?"

Her relief was palpable, and he stooped to kiss her nose, "it's only ever what YOU want, Julia. You have to know that."

She sighed, "one day..."

He smiled, "yep. One day you'll be brave enough to realise how beautiful you are, and never be scared of it."

With that he jumped out of bed and made for his en suite bathroom.

Bagels and coffee. She could do that. Julia knew for someone with a history of an eating disorder, she was comfortable and confident in a kitchen. Breakfast? Piece of cake. Sharing a shower with a sexy man? No chance. Well, not no chance, because she had done that, she'd shed her inhibitions and fears along with her clothes the previous day. But that didn't mean it was easy.

When she was in his arms, anything seemed possible, even sleep. She groaned at that. He'd not demanded anything of her the night before, but then she'd descended on him, needed him physically. But AGAIN he got nothing back. He kept saying that he was fine with it, but she knew differently. Men wanted more, and he'd get bored of helping her. She had to overcome this soon.

She was back in work, but she had already planned in a call to Doctor Vasquez, a catch up of sorts. That was what she needed, a boost. Plus, whilst it had only been ten days, she couldn't wait to get back into her swing at work. She loved her job, it had been her therapy for years. She'd disappeared without trace, so she knew she had questions to answer, but she was in a much better place.

Hearing footsteps on the stairs, she turned to see Aaron enter the kitchen, already dressed in an immaculate dark grey suit, but his face was pulled into a frown and he was talking earnestly into his phone. Catching her gaze, he gave her an apologetic smile, then turned his back to her.

When he ended the call, he slammed the phone on the counter.

"You OK?"

She had to ask, he looked anything but.

He shook his head, "fucking incompetence...again! I've got to go an emergency rescue mission, to Seattle. Seems I can't leave anything untouched."

Before he could finish, his phone rang, "Tom?" He snapped, "have you heard this bullshit?" Obviously Tom answered because he groaned, then stormed into the lounge shouting angrily into the phone.

Julia could only watch as she realised he was leaving her. It was wrong to be so selfish, but he was what was making her strong, nothing else.

She'd filled his bagel and poured coffee when he finally came back to the kitchen.

"Sorry about that." His anger seemed to dissipate as he moaned into his coffee cup. "God I needed that."

Walking towards her he placed a hand on her shoulder, "I'm so sorry to abandon you."

It was her turn to shake her head, "no. You have work too, I've taken up too much of your time already."

He rolled his eyes, "when will you get the message that that is bullshit? I like spending time with you."

He sounded angry and she hated that she did that to him, so she just smiled then set about finishing her breakfast.

Aaron wolfed down the bagel, then hit the stairs, she was just about to take the dogs for a morning stroll when he reappeared with a suit bag and an overnight bag.

"You going to be gone for a while?"

He shrugged, "not sure, there's been some fraudulent activity on a server holding some of our biggest accounts on the west coast. Not sure if it's inside work, hackers..." He ran a hand through his hair, "it's a fuckfest either way. I have got to sort it out though."

"Well take care of yourself, I don't want you exploding with anger en route."

Aaron let out a long exhale, "this isn't what I wanted, starting this up, then rushing off."

"At least it's you running away, not me for a change."

That made him laugh out loud.

"I'll be back soon, don't let all this be a waste, OK?"

He kissed her then, a slice of the passion they'd shared, but his phone ringing dragged them apart.

"Sorry, Julia. My car is here..."

She ran her hands down his arms until they met his, then gave them a squeeze. He seemed reluctant to leave, and as she watched the door close behind him, she couldn't believe how much she missed him already.