Chapter Eighteen

The luxury of high thread count sheets, an en suite bath that she could swim in, and room service. The glorious benefits of a top end hotel. Even better for Julia, was the fact that she hadn't paid for it. Stretching out into a starfish position, she sighed. If only this was as taxing as the day got.

Closing her eyes, she tried to fight the memories of the previous evening, the touches, the kisses...she didn't want to remember any of it. Yet she did too. She couldn't ever remember feeling like that, for a moment, she was almost what she imagined was normal. But as he touched her breast, he caught a finger on one of her scars. It didn't hurt, but it zinged, a path straight to the front of her consciousness.

Self harming had become another of her coping strategies when her uncle had unrestricted access to her. She'd learned where to target, places that would heal but would never be seen, and a small blade could pierce her skin and take her breath away, and that pain...was GOOD pain, normal pain. And that's all she'd ever strived for, to be normal. So many times she'd got to this point, where she almost felt she could shrug free of her past finally. But it never happened, each time something dragged her back down to the pits of despair.

What would Aaron think if he saw the crisscross lines that were only just hidden by her bra? She hadn't cut her breasts, though she often was surprised at that, without them she may never had made her uncle's radar. But between her breast and each arm pit was a strip of flesh that was rarely seen and that had become her target zone. Alternating right after left. Sometimes one side healed before she needed to visit again, other times it hadn't. Depending on how bad the week was.

Tears filled her eyes, it had been a long time since she'd let herself sink this low. She wasn't sure whether it was letting Aaron get close to her, the threat, the fear...or the news about her uncle...and her family. It was easy to blame it on the former, but she knew it was the latter.

"But you can't change that. Can you?" She didn't speak quietly as she stared at the ceiling, "lash out at anything you CAN affect. Poor Aaron, he deserves so much better."

Rolling to her side, she reached for her phone, she'd promised she'd speak to Abi this morning, but she was feeling far too fragile for the person who could read her so well.

As if by telepathy, her phone burst into life and Abi's name flashed.

Rolling back on to her back, she connected, "hey girlfriend."

Abi sighed, "how ya doing?"

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, "they were helping him appeal."

Despite their calls and messages, Julia hadn't vocalised her problems at all. Years of therapy meant that she knew exactly what she SHOULD do, but often didn't have the strength to actually do it.

"Have you spoken to them? Your parents."

"No. Can't."

There as a knowing pause, "but does that mean that you are self destructing with the not knowing?"

A gruff laugh preceded her reply, "I'm trying not to, desperately. The first month here...it felt like I was finally putting it all behind me."

"I know babe, I have never been prouder. But you have to read this as it is. A media story, people seeking sympathy for him. He was convicted, because he was guilty. That wasn't about to change twelve years later. You hear me?"

Julia smiled through her tears, "I think I need to speak to Doctor Fleming. She always helps."

Years of counselling had only proved to be productive when Julia found the female psychologist. She was about the same age as her mother, and instantly reacted as she'd imagined her mother would. Should. Full and unwavering support, understanding, and help.

Abi sighed, "do you need me to call her, on your behalf? Might be easier with the time difference, you know I'll do anything to help."

"I can email her, before I go to work. But thanks mate; you are the greatest friend a girl could ask for. You're still coming next week?"

"Wild horses couldn't keep me away. Call me...any time. You are more important than anything else. I', not prepared to lose my best friend."

She hadn't tried to kill herself, so she could be aggrieved that her friend reacted that way...but she knew that she had been, was still unpredictable. Abi loved her, and she only caused stress and pain to her friend.

"I'll be in the arrivals hall, on Thursday with the biggest smile..."

"...and I'll have the biggest hug. Love you babe."

Julia smiled, suddenly it was all a little easier, "love you too, you are amazing."

After a shower, she pulled her hair up into a tidy top knot, and applied a light skim of makeup, despite the sun, she knew she looked pale, and she had to stand up and talk in front of two hundred people that evening. She wasn't nervous, not really. But she needed to look professional. A black cocktail dress hung behind her desk at work, so she pulled on jeans and a strappy top, then bundled everything else into her holdall.

A ten minute walk rather than a fifty minute commute, made her morning brighter. Tonight was all about sparkle, glitz and showing the world...well New York City and the surrounds how special Bogda is. She was an archaeological and historical miracle, and Julia loved talking about her, showcasing her, and everything about the intriguing exhibit. She waltzed into the building, straight to the annex of the building that had been steadily perfected to house the vitally important discovery for the next six months.

Taylor was discussing seating plans with one of the museum dignitaries from London, she looked a little pasty, but then she'd been on a mission the previous evening, throwing alcohol down her neck like her life depended on it. So had Jerome.

She glanced around, seeking out her other colleague, but to no avail. That was until she spotted the tip of his soft afro in the corner of the room. Today there was nothing that NEEDED to be done, but a lot of fine tuning was in order. So Julia headed over to Jerome, the practical member of the team, he'd know what her agenda should be.

As she approached, he glanced at her, then rushed off, pointing to boxes of leaflets.

That seemed strange, but he was an unusual cookie to quote Taylor. So she opened a box and started the rather laborious job of marrying up the information leaflets, and the glossy wallets that needed to contain them. Two hundred sets put together, then placed on every seat in the room.

A thankless task and one that took her up to lunchtime.

Taylor called out to her, "come on boss. Lunch...the last moment of calm before the storm of tonight."

They cut across to the edge of Central Park and to their favourite bench. Taylor had a large bag from the local deli, and deposited between them.

"Where's Jerome?" It was always the three of them. "He acted really weird this morning."

Taylor nibbled at her sandwich, head dropping as she gave a shrug, and Julia watched a blush spread across her neck and face. Oooh. There was gossip there; she'd left them together the previous night after all. But today was too hectic to have Taylor off her game. Julia had to curb her intrigue for another day.

Instead, she reached for her sandwich and dived into it, not wanting to acknowledge the current trauma was having a great effect on her eating control.

Alex was almost hyperventilating as the afternoon rolled on. Whilst he wasn't involved in the evening, he had a lot riding on things. He was the name leading the exhibition, and he was acting as though his neck was truly on the line. Everything was organised, he'd spent far too long hidden in his office to be as stressed as he was. And the rest of the team rolled their eyes at his actions.

"So are we really ready to go?" Julia asked the team members gathered. "Is there anything left to do?"

Taylor shook her head, "I cannot think of anything. We have completed every one of your lists."

Julia chuckled, "good."

Then Marcia, the 'mother' of their team burst in. "Take your tickets before you leave. There'll be hella security when you come back, there'll be no chance of sneaking anyone in."

Taylor clapped her hands, "good thinking Momma!"

She rushed over to Marcia, "three for me." Glancing back at Julia she smiled, "this is the first time my parents have even shown an interest...that's you...making me all inspired."

Julia blushed as Jerome, Mike and a couple of fringe people also took their tickets.

Marcia looked at Julia, "you bringing anyone?"

Julia thought of Aaron. He had been keen to come, but after their confrontation the previous evening, she hadn't heard a word from him. She was glad of that, but as she shook her head at Marcia, confirming that she had no one attending as her personal support network, she rued pushing him away.

Her friends all invited her home with them to change, but she was happy to sit on her own in her office and relax. She wasn't worried about the launch. There were some of the most well known professors and archaeologists in the US attending, people who's papers and books she'd read intently, avidly. But this was her domain, and she was happy.

The dinner first? She knew she'd not eat. Her appetite had been poor for two weeks. But she'd avoid the wine that would be free flowing, stick to water, and then leave the place. Fresh air, avoid the family huddles that she knew would be occurring between her friends.

Aaron handed the suited man his invitation, a gold embossed piece of card that allowed him entrance to one of the biggest event in historical terms that the city had seen. That was if you believed every word printed on it. He wasn't sure he'd be welcome, but the security man, after checking his bag and conducting a 'pat down', wafted an arm in the direction of the reception room, that when he entered, he could see, was filled with at least thirty tables. Glitz and glamour was the name of the game, and he was relieved to see many faces that he knew from his business dealings in the city.

He was a huge donator to a lot of organisation in the city, so it hadn't been difficult to secure himself a much sort after ticket. He couldn't help but feel proud for Julia. This was all her work and he felt like a big brother, wanting to tell everyone how proud he was. But she might hate seeing him there, and he didn't want to upset her, so he slinked off to the bar at the back of the room and grabbed a whisky.

The dinner was tasteless. Well it was to Julia, everyone else seemed to enjoy it as they chatted genially. But the nerves of the occasion were starting to affect her,

She sat with the five members of her team, and the London bigwigs, so it was a weird ambience, or lack of. She was almost relieved when the City Mayor got up on stage and told the gathered crowd how prestigious it was to have this exhibition in the city.

There was some mute applause as he talked about the finances and all that had happened to allow this to launch to occur. But people looked generally bored.

Difficult crowd was her last thought as the Mayor smiled at her.

"And bringing this exhibition all the way from London is the World's leading expert on what I'm told is prehistoric man. Though my wife often says that's what I am!"

After a round of chuckling, he added, "all the way from London, the guardian of this lovely lady is Miss Julia Curtis."

Julia didn't need cue cards, or any help, she knew what she wanted to say a thousand times over.

But standing look out at the hundreds of faces, she finally took in the enormity of the moment.

"Hi." She finally spoke when the applause settled down. "I am so proud to be standing here today, in one of the greatest cities in the world. I'd say greatest...but my London bosses are here."

A ripple of laughter made her relax, "and I'm over the moon that I can spend my evening discussing a woman who died and was buried in what we would now call a bog. She was a mother...we think she had more than one child, and she was approximately thirty when she died. Forty thousand years ago."

She smiled, "does that make your skin tingle? Because she has had that affect on me since I met her."

As she started to chart the history of Bodga, her eyes scanned the room slowly, and as she was just discussing the circumstances of how she was discovered five years earlier, her eyes landed on a face at the back of the room.

Aaron.

Breathe, she told herself as she clicked a few slides up on the screen behind her. There were enough to entertain. He looked apologetic, and he smiled at her, in a supportive way. The fear at him being there, was dwarfed by the knowledge that he'd managed to beat the odds and get a ticket to be there for her, after all she said to him.

With a deep breath she glanced back over her shoulder at the slide, then steadied herself for the rest of her talk. She'd speak to Aaron later; she owed him more than an apology.