Yufa

"What? Are you serious?" Arriane shrieked as soon as I broke the news to her.

"Yes, Arriane. I'm divorcing Nathan." I continue to water the flowers Martha is growing on our garden. Strange as it is but I don't know any of them. I don't plant flowers because the moment I do, they all wither and die. It makes me think that I'm not blessed enough to make things grow. I even lost my child. A bitter laugh echoed inside me head, taunting me for all my misfortunes and failures.

"You can't be serious!" She threw her hands into the air in disbelief. I just got home from the court after filing the papers necessary for the divorce. So far, things went smooth and uneventful. I haven't heard anything from Nathan since then. He must be celebrating his freedom and went on a vacation with her mistress. Well, she's not her mistress anymore. More like they are officially dating and I bet the bitch is laughing like she just won a lottery ticket. I wouldn't consider Nathan as a winning lottery ticket. Lottery is far more luckier than running into heartless man such as himself. He's now her burden, a token for their successful plot on ruining my life.

"Yufa, please. I beg you. Tell me I heard it wrong. What happened to the family you wanted to build with Nathan? Please. Reconsider...-"

"Do you think I'm joking, Arriane?" I whirled around and met her watery eyes. "Do you seriously think I just decided this overnight? Do you I didn't reconsider this a hundred times over? I went through so much trouble trying to salvage what was left of our marriage. But there is nothing to save anymore because Nathan don't want to." I cannot help but snap at her. I felt sorry for the part but I didn't felt sorry for telling her about my struggles. This matter is supposedly exclusive between me and Nathan and honestly I felt uncomfortable telling her. "We're both unhappy, Arriane. The difference between this unhappiness is that he chose to cheat on me. I bet you already knew it."

She visibly flinched at that. Somehow, I knew she must have uncovered the truth behind my miscarriage. I honestly don't care how she does it or who told her. Eventually, truth will come out and will set us all free.

"I'm just making things easier for both of us. Everything is falling apart. Every time I see him, I'm reminded of the child I lost. You, of all people should understand me. You didn't lost anyone but you should know how painful it is for me. I'm sorry, Arriane. I know he is a good man deep inside but I cannot see it, I cannot even feel it."

She nodded, still holding back her tears. She muttered her apologies and wish me luck and didn't dare to say anything. She left after tea was over. I didn't ask her to stay. I wanted sometime alone to myself and I'm still mourning. I don't know if I'll ever get over this loss. But if ever I'll get over, that is for future to decide. However, I plan to bury the ashes to let my child had a resting place on his own. I don't plan on holding him into this world or scattering his ashes somewhere. It makes me uncomfortable knowing the parts will gone with the wind.

***

The process for our divorce had, so far, smooth. We're nearing the end and soon, we will be both free. I already rented a place to stay for the duration of the process. Martha didn't liked the idea but she respected my decision nonetheless. She even helped me with my belongings and helped me decorate my apartment.

I was hauling the lasts of my belongings into a van. My obsession with books and vases had given me a hard time wrapping and boxing it. Books can easily be boxed as they can be arranged into piles and be boxed with each other. However, the vases was far too fragile to just wrap and put them on the van. I decided to wrap them beautifully and sell them for a good price. That should help me sustain my remaining days here in Spain as I planned to go back to China and live with my parents once again. After a short period of living with them, I will be finishing my studies, get a degree and put up my own business. It will serve as a good distraction for my failure and loss.

Before heading outside, I stopped by the infants room and inhale the familiar scent of the detergent I used to wash my baby's supposed blankets. A single tear escaped me as I convinced myself that my child is doing fine somewhere else. I brought the ashes close to my chest as I bade goodbye to the room that witnessed my pain.

Descending the stairs was too hard for me. I'm always reminded of how stupid I was to follow Nathan that caused my fall. This is why I wanted to leave this house sooner. The ghosts of my misery is haunting me mercilessly. Pain keep flooding back into me as I recall every unfortunate circumstances. I held the ashes tight. I cannot afford to drop it again amd cause my baby more pain. This afternoon will be the last hearing of our case. By then, I will get back my freedom and my baby will be buried as soon as I arranged everything.

Before reaching the lasts steps, the door opened wide and I saw my father advancing like a tank heading for war. He was furious and I think I know why.

"What is this?!" He was holding a copy of the divorce papers I submitted to the court. I shouldn't be surprised that news travel faster than rockets ever do. I clutched the ashes tightly. "Care to explain it to me."

"P-Papa. I- we're.. We're filing for a divorce." Fear started to shake my whole being seeing my father seething with anger.

"This is bullshit!" He roared, his voice echoed inside the house. I jumped, startled at his sudden outburst. I feared for the little vase that cling to my arms. Carefully, I placed it in the nearest platform I could see. I'm afraid I could drop it any minute as mu hànds start shaking vigorously. "You have 12 hours to withdraw this papers, Yufa. Don't try my patience."

My eyes went saucers. Withdraw the papers? Is he kidding me? The process will end by the sun down and here he is, wanting to revoke my decision. He wanted to keep me tied to Nathan.

"No." Came my soft whisper. I can't go back to my nightmares. Just as I saw a bright light at the end of the line, beckoning me to move forward, here comes the big block of obstacle hindering me from moving forward. "I-I cant!"

"I said try my patience, Yufa. Go back, withdraw the papers while I'm being nice to you." He warned me again. I know my father very well. He doesn't want his patience being measured. He is a kind man but he has a temper of a devil too. I'm afraid, I admit. But there is no turning back now. It's now or never.

"No, Papa. We're both umhappy....-"

"Do you think this is just about your happiness ar your selfish principles? I am protecting you, Yufa."

"Protecting me from what?" How dare he talk about protecting me? Now that my baby is gone? Does he honestly think I'm safe in the lair of a monster like Nathan? He doesn't know anything. "I'm not the selfish one here, you are! I know you married me off to him so you can put up your market here in Europe and create ties with the big names in the industry you belong to. You're successful now, right? Our marriage served it's purpose very well."

"Ungrateful child!" The sound of the contact of his palms into my cheeks resonated in the hollow living room. My father just hit me for the very first time. The stinging sensation didn't left my face, instead it became worse as burning hot tears drenched the part he hit. The slap wasn't the painful one, it's the truth that he hurt me. He hurt me because he is seeing his empire crumbling at the sight of me. It's sad that my father valued money over the happiness of his child. How come a parent like him exist. I didn't became a full mother but I felt this immense responsibility of prioritizing the happiness of my child over anything else. Why?

"From now on, forget that you are a part of my family. You are banished."

The echo of his fading footsteps and the thundering beating of my heary against my chest was the only sound I could hear. I never felt so alone like I do right now. My father just throw hos youngest daughter away.

***********************

A/n

Hello lovies! Good evening!

Sorry for the grammatical errors! I hope you're doing fine.

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----Maiah❤