I do not regret the angst

Instead I will only add more

...When I come up with an idea for this chapter

Ok, I've brought all the chapter ideas forwards by one. 

Y'all don't know what's coming

:)

For the third time this week, a basically plain letter for Grian arrives. For the second time, it's through the actual door, and for the first time, I pocket it and decide to keep it secret.

He doesn't need to know it came. All it'll do is make him upset. So pocketing is the best idea. Maybe I can read it later, see what Grian's so adamantly ignoring. But at the same time guilt fills me. I can't just read his private letters.

So I leave it in my pocket.

'Scar?'

I turn away from the door as Grian appears.

'What are you hiding?'

'Nothing!' I reply suspiciously. He crosses his arms.

'Scar... We both know you're bad at lying. What are you hiding.'

'I was going to go on a walk.' I come up with. 'But you would've told me not to so... I was trying to sneak away.' A pause. 'But I need to get outside.'

To my surprise, Grian sighs, and grabs his own coat. 

'Come on. We'll go together. I understand how you feel.'

'Thanks.' Luckily, my shoes are always next to the door so I can shove them on without looking too suspicious. Grian throws me a coat, and we set off.

The mangy carpet and door to the stairwell greet us, as well as the entrance to our floor-mate X's flat. The fourth wall is taken up by the lift. And for once the lights are on.

'Lift or stairs.' I challenge with a grin.

'It'll break halfway.'

'One of us takes the lift, one of us takes the stairs. You choose which.'

A pause.

'I'm taking the stairs.'

'Challenge accepted. 3... 2... go!'

'Wait- SCAR!' I hear his yell as I sprint for the elevator, hammering the open button. Inside, press to reach the bottom floor, the doors close, and I wait.

As I stand there alone, ignoring the constant judders and screeches from the years old mechanism, I think about the letter, pulling it from my pocket. Again, all it says on the front is Grian's name. But it's a different handwriting from Cub's. How didn't I even recognise his handwriting? It had been 6 months but still...

The lift dings, and I wrench the doors open, tumbling out. Grian's not here yet.

I won.

I grin as I celebrate my victory, forgetting to move out the way of the lift door as someone I don't recognise appears.

'Can you... move?' They ask.

'Oh, yeah. Of course. Sorry.' I back out the way. They don't move. 

'Wait- who are you?'

'Scar.' I hold out my hand to shake, still not thinking. They seem friendly, with dark skin and darker curls of hair.

'Should I recognise you?'

'No. Do you recognise me?'

'OW!' Comes a yell from the stairs as Grian falls into view. Me and the stranger look over.

'Are you... ok?' I frown. He looks up.

'I just fell down all the stairs. No. Who's that.'

'Oh my goodness, Grian?' The stranger steps closer to him. Grian frowns as he manages to stand.

'BigB?'

For a moment they just stay staring at each other before BigB returns to the elevator.

'I've- I need to go. Sorry. Bye Grian. Bye Scar- wait a minute are you.' The door closes, but we both hear the end of the question.

'Scar what have you done.' Grian hobbles over. He's bleeding slightly, but ignores.

'What do you mean?'

'He knows.'

'Who? BigB- wait, that's your friend.'

'Ex-friend. Because he's on REN'S side.' My confused mind takes a second to work.

'He's going to tell Ren.'

'Yep.'

'What... what are we going to do?' My voice fills with panic even before my mind catches up. 'What- how do we get out of this?'

'We need to pretend nothing happened. If we disappear now it'll be even more suspicious.'

'You're bleeding,'

'I know.' Grian wipes at the blood on his face. 'That's not important right now... let's just go for a walk around the building and try to figure something out after that.'

We set off outside. I have to remind myself that people are staring at Grian, not me, and try to ignore it.

'Grian- we can't walk around with you hurt like that.'

'It's fine.'

'You're still bleeding. You... fell down the stairs.'

'Because I was trying to run and beat you. It's not serious.'

'You're...'

'Scar, if you say I'm bleeding one more time I'm going to kidnap Jellie tonight.'

Well and truly silenced, I continue on just behind Grian's stubborn limp. It's clear he's in pain, pausing as we reach the third side of the flat block. 

'Grian...'

'Scar I'm fine.'

'If I fell down the stairs you'd be worried about me.' I point out. 'Why are you doing this?'

'We need enough time for BigB to be out the way before we return home. If he sees us enter our house, he'll report to Ren and he'll send guards out here to get you from there. We can't let them see where we live. That's how they found... the resistance.' He whispers. 'Even if that means being in pain, we can't let him see where we live.'

'Ok.' I don't want to admit how much he's making sense. 'Tell us when it's alright to get back.'

'When we see him leave the building.'

'When will he leave the building?'

'Hopefully soon.'

'That's not an answer...'

'I don't know!' Grian bursts out. 'I don't know when we can return inside, or when it's safe. I don't know anything! I'm just...'

'Scared?' 

He nods. There's an old bench near us, and I walk him over to him, forcing him to sit.

'I don't want you to get in trouble, Scar. You and Mumbo are all I have. If anything happens to you...' I nod. He stares at the ground. I put an arm around his shoulder, pulling him into a hug.

'I'm sorry for letting him see me.'

'No, it's ok... you can't apologise for just meeting someone.'

We both know what we means.

'You know I don't blame you for that.'

'Doesn't mean I don't blame me...' 

'Grian, this isn't your fault. Come on... let's just walk towards the entrance and be smart about this. Or do you need more time to sit down.'

'I need more time to sit down.'

'Alright. Just tell me when you're ready to head in.'

'I will.'

Aww... wholesome angst

Don't worry, it'll only get worse