I've never fully understood the term 'my blood is boiling'.

Sure — I get angry — the urge to fight against anyone and everyone runs through my veins whenever that happens.

But, blood boiling?

I never understood it.

Not until today.

My entire body was on fire, heart racing at unparalleled speeds as soon as I realised what Zac had done. 

I woke up alone, panic consuming my body from the get go. Blood pumped hard and fast through every inch of me, like a medical experiment gone wrong. I felt overwhelmed by the feeling, the surge of unwelcome heat that came with it.

My blood is definitely boiling.

Jordan grabs hold of me as soon as I start trying to run through the woods towards the mansion, reminding me that if Zac has succeeded, me turning up will only ruin everything. And put him in more danger.

Angrily pushing him away, I walk back to camp, avoiding the terrified and curious expressions of every single person.

I don't understand Zac. I get it... he thought he was doing what's best for the group.

But he isn't.

This isn't what's best.

Nothing that involves Gia can ever be good, and no-one can ever convince me otherwise. This is a disaster waiting to happen and Zac didn't even include me in the decision.

He promised that we'd discuss it in the morning, like cohesive couples do. Instead, he threw our fucking relationship to the side and did whatever the fuck Zac wanted. Just like always.

No care to the damage he's left behind.

Fucking bastard.

"Alright!" Callum steps into the clearing, rucksack on his back as he looks around at all of us. Reluctantly, I stand from the ground where I've been moping. I'm glaring at him as he urges the camp to listen. He better not say what I think he's about to say...

"We need to move."

Fucking idiotic twat of a man.

"No."

"Emilia—"

"Why the fuck would we move? Half the team isn't here," I remind him, cutting him off from continuing his obsolete argument. My jaw is tensed as I struggle to contain my anger. Zac took Poppy into the devil's lair with him. They're both gone. Surely Callum cares about Poppy?!

"This was always the plan, Emilia," Callum replies bluntly. "Zac agreed to do this."

I kiss my teeth. Is he serious?!

"I didn't agree," I counter.

Callum shrugs. "It wasn't up to you."

"I am his fucking wife," I snap, launching myself towards him. A pair of hands suddenly snake around my waist, tugging me back. My hair whips me in the face as I look back at the traitorous Jordan. My friend shakes his head at me, his eyes full of sadness. "That decision involved me too," I continue through gritted teeth. "How do none of you care?" My eyes whip around the startled — yet relatively uncaring — group. "He's dead! Poppy's dead!" I yell, elbowing Jordan in the ribs. He lets out a grunt, hands releasing me.

I step forward.

"Em!" Bridget is suddenly in front of me, her hands resting on both sides of my face. "We aren't happy about this either."

"You could have fooled me," I snap, trying to shove her away.

"You're lashing out," she mutters, shaking her head at me. "This was all Zac, and you know it. We couldn't have stopped him. Not a single one of us. Not except..."

She trails off, looking away from me as she realises her mistake. It's too late though, I know where she was going with that. 

Not except me.

I could have stopped him. If I knew. If I was fucking awake.

Zac knew that too. It's why he left in the middle of the goddamn night, like a coward.

I inhale, a long, deep influx of oxygen before biting my lip. Reaching out, my fingers curl around Bridget's, needing her close. She smiles at me as a hand rests on my back, gently rubbing my spine reassuringly. Jordan. 

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I turn back to Callum and force a look of indifference on my face.

"I'm not going North without him," I say.

Callum nods. "I figured that would be the case," he answers, nodding. "We still need to move though, slightly further away from the mansion. Gia will no doubt search the surrounding areas to check that Zac and Poppy were alone."

I stiffen at the words until Jordan whispers in my ear. "He's right, Em."

I know he is. Gia's a bitch.

Forcing my body to relax, I eventually nod, but remain silent. I'm hurt by Zac's decision, my heart raw and aching more every passing second.

"We can split the group," Callum announces to everyone. "Half will head to the North, and half will stay in the South until Zac and Poppy return."

Sliding closer to Jordan, I whisper into his ear, "I'm not telling them where Kayla is. I don't trust them."

He nods in agreement, eyes scanning over the numerous people, Callum's crew all grabbing onto their bags and hauling them on their backs. They're just sheep, not a single one meaning anything to me. I don't know their names, and I don't plan on finding out.

"You can stay in the South," Callum says, looking directly at us. "My teams can travel North."

I look to Jordan and Bridget, slowly shaking my head. He wants directions, help and guidance. Callum wants the location of Kayla and... I can't. I'd never forgive myself. I don't trust them one bit.

"I'll go North," Bridget suddenly announces, volunteering herself. My eyes widen at her and I shake my head.

"No!"

"You trust me, don't you?" Bridget retorts, gripping my hand tightly as she smiles. "Someone has to go and help Kayla. We have to get to Lyla."

I bite my tongue, knowing that she's right. I don't want us to split up, terrified that as soon as Bridget disappears , I'll never see her and her pretty blonde hair, her incalculable freckles, her wide blue eyes... any of it, ever again.

She was dead before, it's more than likely she'll be dead all over again.

"You two stay here and look after each other," she tells Jordan before reaching out and hauling us both in for a rib crushing hug. "I'll be fine. I always am."

"You're not invincible," I mutter.

She grins, pulling back and shrugging. "Bitch, I came back from the dead... have you?"

I can't help but laugh at her ridiculous words, shaking my head as Jordan hauls her in for another hug.

Within the next half hour we're all moving, away from the mansion and closer towards the grey wall. We say goodbye to Bridget as they split off to venture North. She promises that she'll see me again before disappearing into the trees, away from us once more.

My eyes fill with tears, blurring my vision as I stare out after her. All that's there is the dark, ominous woodland, no sign of my friend. The trees are closing in on me, their rustling eerie and obtrusive, leaving me to feel very, very alone.

A hand is suddenly resting on my shoulder, lightly squeezing it as we both stare after our friend.

"It's okay, Em," Jordan says softly. "We can do this," he promises.

I nod, resting my head on his shoulder as we continue to stare at the empty forest, only the two of us left.

We came to the South as a team of eight and we picked up two on the way to London.

But look at us now...

Now there's only two of us left here.

*~*~*

"Here you go." Jordan holds out a can of beans to me. I slowly take them, nodding appreciatively. He drops down beside me, tugging his rucksack towards him and rifling through it.

"What are you looking for?" I ask.

Jordan shrugs. "Callum wanted a pen."

"Bridget took the pens with her," I retort.

Jordan smirks, dropping the bag to the ground. "I thought so too, but I told him I would check."

"Tell him he should be more organised." I scoff, leaning against the log behind me and digging into the beans. Delightful.

"I think I'll keep that one to myself," Jordan counters with a grin. "Especially after your outburst yesterday."

"Hey!" I exclaim, raising a brow. "If he wanted bullets, he should have brought more with him. He's not having any of ours. I thought it was a perfectly reasonable argument."

"I'm in complete agreement," Jordan answers, reaching over and taking a spoonful of beans for himself.

"Get your own can!" I smack his hands away. "If you agree, why didn't you speak up?"

Jordan shrugs. "I figured the screaming, aggressive, red-in-the-face blonde girl who was dangling a knife in his face was enough."

I pout, looking down at the food in my hands and shovelling more into my mouth.

It's been four days since Zac disappeared into the depths of hell and we've slowly been making ourselves an efficient camp eight miles to the south west of the mansion. Every day, two people head back towards it, hiding in the trees to stake out the place and see if there's any sign of Zac or Poppy.

So far — nothing.

Jordan and I have been the ones to go the last two days, Callum then insisting we take the day off today to recover and relax. I'm not entirely sure what we need to relax from.

"Are they building a tree house?" Jordan asks, looking over at one of the trees across the clearing. Two of Callum's group are hauling wood up the trunk.

"Yep," I counter, smirking.

"That's a good idea," Jordan comments.

I shrug. "Until the Slayers come along and set the whole damn tree on fire."

"You're so cynical," Jordan retorts.

I smirk. "Sorry."

"Emilia. Jordan." The yell carries across the clearing. Beans discarded on the floor, both Jordan and I struggle to our feet and running in the direction of Callum's frenzied voice.

"What is it?" I practically yell as soon as I spot him, huddled around something with two others. "Is Zac—"

"Zac's fine," Callum cuts me off. "Well... we haven't heard anything from him." He has the gall to look guilty at his own words.

I grit my teeth , faltering in my steps and slowly continuing towards him. What's the point then? Jordan tugs me forward as a glare settles on my face.

"We've heard from the North," he tells us.

My mouth drops open in surprise. "You have?"

"Mils?" A small, familiar voice comes from the middle of all of them. I shove them aside to see a high tech, black walkie-talkie between the group. "Mils?"

"Kayla?" I exclaim, grabbing hold of the device and bringing it towards me. "Oh my God, you're okay! You're alive!" I exclaim, falling back onto my haunches. Jordan's hands are on my shoulders as he lowers himself beside me.

"Of course I am," she replies, chirpily. "Glad to hear you're hanging on in there too."

"Wait! Kayla, Lyla—"

"We grabbed her this morning," she cuts me off. "Well, Bridget did. I'm not sure what's going on but I'm sure she'll tell me soon."

"She will." I smile. "I'm so happy to hear your voice."

"Likewise. Sounds like you're lucky to still be alive from what Bridget told me."

"Something like that," I answer and she goes quiet.

"I'm sorry about Riley," she whispers. "And Kieran."

I shut my eyes, the painful memories swarming through me at the sound of their names. "How is it up North?" I ask, changing the subject.

"It's okay," she admits. "We've gained good ground, recruited quite a few people... even some Enforcers," she pauses. "The ones left in Nottingham don't have much to enforce anymore since the marriage system broke down. Now it's just pure chaos there."

"Fucking hell," Jordan mutters.

"Where's Zac?" she asks.

I grit my teeth, head dropping. My long hair falls around my face, covering my despair. 

"Off somewhere trying to play the fucking hero," I choose to say.

"Nothing new there then," Kayla retorts. I can't help but smirk slightly at the response. I'm so happy to hear from her, to know that she's okay — alive and safe. For now, anyway.

She's survived all this time that we've been away, she's still standing, still ready to tease me about what happened in high school. Thank God.

We continue to talk for a couple of minutes before Callum's crew takes the device away, warning us that due to the long range, it shouldn't be used for too long. I roll my eyes, unsure whether I believe them or whether they just want to take back control, leaving Jordan and I clueless as to what's going on.

But at least we know.

Bridget made it North.

She saved Kayla and the others from whatever Lyla might have done.

And Kayla is alive.

For the first time in forever, a small surge of hope fills my chest and I give Jordan a small smile.

"She's alive," I whisper.

Jordan grins, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me in for a bear hug. I sink into the warmth of his arms, my hands clinging at his top as I close my eyes, smiling.

"Bridget made it," Jordan hums. "Kayla's okay."

A small trickle of laughter leaves my lips as a giddy feeling bursts through my chest.

"I don't mean to break this up." Callum interrupts.

 I purse my lips, quickly pulling away from Jordan and scowling at the towering man.

He holds his hands up in surrender, not phased by my expression. "I just wanted to let you know where we're at."

"Which is?" I snap.

Callum visibly bristles, glaring at me. "We're starting to plant explosives at the walls."

I freeze, blinking at him.

Jordan pales. "What?"

"It's going to take months to get enough up there and along a good length of the wall to cause sufficient damage to bring it down," Callum explains. "I figured if we start now, eventually... maybe we'll be ready."

"You don't even know what the other sections are like, " I snap.

Callum tenses his jaw. "I'm not doing anything yet, Emilia. It's called preparation," he pauses. "For if  the time ever comes."

I turn away, his words echoing around my head.

'If the time ever comes.'

What if it doesn't? What if there's something wrong in the East or the West? What if there's no way to bring order back to England?

How do we even stop Gia? Sure, Zac's with her now, but that means fuck all. She's got a wealth of materials at her disposal, hell, we don't even know how much she can utilise. She may have armies in every sector, and the Enforcers won't go down without a fight.

I try not to think about it, but Zac's in harm's way right now. I have no way to help him and I'm absolutely terrified. How long are we all going to feel like this?

When the fuck will all of this end?

At the moment, it feels like never.

A never-ending hellscape of chaos, aggression and despair.

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