A strangled cry leaves Myles' lips before he jumps up, not caring that he's bouncing straight into harm's way as Heidi lets out a tormented scream.

Quickly glancing towards Zac, I see his eyes locked with Jordan, the two of them clearly having a secret, unspoken conversation. It takes mere seconds before they look away from each other, Zac gazing directly at me and slowly shaking his head. What?

It's been seconds since Jen was killed, yet it feels like minutes.

Myles dodges another spear shoved his way as he heads for the Slayer who brutally murdered his kind, caring sister.

Before I can comprehend what's happening, Zac and Jordan are on their feet, whirling around and taking out the men behind them with ease, grabbing hold of the Slayers' weapons and turning them on the enemy.

Suddenly, Zac's message becomes clear, the shake of the head urging me to stay where I am, not to react like he has. Does he think that'll keep me safe? Fucking idiot.

Anna suddenly lets out a loud roar, catapulting her fist into the chin of the man behind her. She has all the rage of a tiger, pulling him in front of her as a shield when another throws their spear towards her. Her eyes are wild, an animal that's been pushed to the brink of no return, and she's out for blood...

Grimacing, I lean down, angling my ankles underneath me so that I'm on my haunches, resting my hands on the ground and taking a deep breath.

Without warning, I spring up, turning and landing a punch into the face of the woman behind me. She stumbles back as I yank the gun from her hands, shoving the butt of it into her neck. A wheezy breath leaves her lips before she falls to the ground.

Turning the gun around, I pull a round of ammo from the pocket of my jeans and load it, instantly shooting the two Slayers behind her when they launch towards me.

Looking back, I see that Heidi has crowded around Sam, using her fists against one of the men before quickly lifting her foot and shooting her boot into his stomach. He stumbles back and I can see that he's about to recover, no doubt to tackle her with newfound vigour. 

"Heidi!" I yell. She turns towards me, eyes wide as I haul my arm back, throwing the gun through the air with as much force as possible. She reaches up, catching it just in time to stop the Slayer from killing her.

I'm suddenly being choked from behind and my hands rise to my throat, clutching at the claws wrapped around it. I wheeze for air, the life limiting feeling one of the worst I've ever experienced; my entire oxygen supply being stopped, forcing me to feel my mouth dry up as my lungs starve themselves, panic overtaking every inch of my body.

Reaching down, I fumble at my belt, relieved when I realise there's one last knife. I quickly yank it out, shoving it into the person behind me without a second thought, the pure killer in me at large, showing no mercy.

How life can fucking change. This time last year I was an immature girl, drinking and running around the North, not a real care in the world. Not compared to now, anyway. I've turned into a cold blooded murderer, something I wouldn't wish on anyone.

I lose more of my humanity every day, and I'd be a liar if I said I don't lie awake at night remembering every single one of their faces.

I wish I didn't have to do it.

I turn, pulling my blood-soaked knife out of the man's stomach, his eyes already turning glassy as I wipe my knife clean on his top before standing, looking around for any other attackers.

If I didn't take them out, they'd kill me instead. We can't catch a break.

How my life turned into kill, or be killed, is beyond me. I wish someone would save me from this nightmare.

Turning to the left, I see as Zac reaches out, grabbing the head of a small Slayer who's smashing his fists into Sam's face. He quickly wrenches it to the side, growling, a crack sounding through the woodland before Zac lets go, letting his limp form fall to the ground. The last one.

Sam gives an appreciative nod but Zac ignores him, turning, his eyes on me before he walks over, wrapping his arms around my body. I drop the knife to the floor, using my hands to grip onto his shirt and burying my head in his chest, breathing in his familiar scent to try and stop the tears from catapulting down my cheeks.

Zac knows how this makes me feel, hell, he normally stays up with me all night, silently tangled in each other's arms, his hand trailing through my hair. He feels the same way as I do; every kill not a win, but a loss. We don't need to talk about it, not until this is over anyway. Until then, nothing will change. We're living in hell, and we have to deal with it.

It's only when I turn my head to the side that I remember the gorgeous girl we've lost, too caught up in the heat of the moment to have fully registered what her body dropping to the ground truly meant. Another catastrophic fucking loss.

Myles is cradling his sister's head, rivers of tears falling down his face as Heidi sits beside him, her own sobs echoing around the woodland. Anna is an absolute wreck, looking completely numb as she slowly retreats, finally tearing her gaze away from Jen, and over to her dead brother on the floor behind her.

I don't know who to run towards, instead smacking my hand over my mouth and letting out a wail of grief at the two fallen soldiers; not a single set of siblings still standing.

Even family can't survive this.

I tighten my grip on Zac's top as his arm clutches my waist. I want to rush over, to assure Jen and Kieran that I'll look after their siblings, that every time I look up at the stars I'll be reminded of her. Instead I hang back, knowing that both of them need this space to grieve, not all of us to crowd around the broken souls.

And with Myles, we're just people who barged our way into his life a week ago, earning him nothing but misery.

Jen was kind and caring. Despite the short time we knew each other, she would make me laugh all day. Her and Kieran cracked jokes all day whilst walking, the two of them the best comedic duo.

Jen reassured me over Heidi, she let me in her head, shared her stories with me. All she wanted was to be free from the South. But now... she never will be.

"Myles," Jordan croaks out, stepping forward. "I'm so sorry."

"Me too," Heidi says softly, her voice nearly inaudible. I merely nod my head, unable to form words when Myles glances up at us, his expression forlorn.

The group descends into silence and I turn my head back towards Kieran, both Anna and Jordan beside him as Anna cries once more.

I slouch down, my back against a tree trunk as I watch the scene in front of me. It's like a horror movie with the two bodies, both of them members of our dysfunctional family.

I can't even begin to compute Kieran's death, the absence of him hitting me already, and it's only been an hour. He was the kindest soul, the first guy who welcomed me into the Safe House with open arms. I loved him. 

I hastily wipe my hands over my eyes, trying to keep my emotions tucked up inside. They're rising to an unacceptable level, threatening to burst out of my body as vomit, tears, yells and, after all that, a catatonic state. I'm already starting to feel numb...

It feels like hours, but it's probably only mere minutes until Heidi whispers something to Myles. He slowly nods, looking over at Anna in the distance before turning his attention to my husband and visibly nodding at him to make a decision. 

After all, we can't stay here for long.

Zac sighs, stepping forward and crossing his arms as he looks around at the group. His eyes are bloodshot, the same as the rest of us when we stare up at our leader.

"We should bury them," Zac announces, his voice unrecognisable, thick with grief. Myles ducks his head as Anna's cries get louder.

"Of course," Jordan replies in a voice that's so unusual I almost don't believe it's him. Looking up, I take note of his tensed jaw before slowly nodding in agreement and forcing myself to my feet, unsure how any of us are going to be able to achieve this.

*~*~*

"I'm so sorry," Heidi mutters to the two people beside her.

Anna and Myles stand hand in hand as they look down at the shallow graves in front of them. Anna's stopped crying, her face void of emotion as she watches Jordan place a few leaves atop the ground in front of her to spell out 'K'. Myles is visibly trying to hold it together, biting his lip and occasionally looking up at the sky above.

It's barely anything, a small hole at the bottom of the trees, but it's all we can do without a shovel and only our bare hands. We were silent as the guys carefully placed the two of them inside, every single one of us speechless.

We've lost two members of our team. Sure, Jen was a new member, but she slotted in so well, she protected us, accepted and made friends with every single one of us. I'll never forget her.

Kieran was everything to the rest of us. He was the brother, the navigator, the peacekeeper and the only one who usually put Anna in her place. 

Their shoes can never be filled.

"What now?" Sam eventually asks in a hesitant tone. I bite my lip, looking at the rest of the group, Myles still sitting by Jen's resting place as Anna reaches for her backpack and shakes her head.

"We continue," she mutters, glaring at Sam. "We get the fuck out of this forest and down to the only place that might be safe. London." Anna hooks her bag over her shoulder.

"Anna-"

"What?" she cuts Jordan off. "You know it's what he would want." She lets her gaze drop to the floor. "Plus... I need to get away from here." Her voice breaks halfway through the sentence and I slowly nod at Zac to tell him I agree with her.

"Myles?" Heidi walks towards the man, kneeling beside him. "You should come with us."

"Come with you?" he echoes.

"To London."

Myles shakes his head, looking down at the dirt. Heidi nods in defeat, biting her lip before stepping back.

"I get it," Anna pipes up, another tear trailing down her cheeks as she looks at him. "I wouldn't want to come with us either." She shrugs when Myles turns to look at her. "We're the reason your sister is dead."

"Anna!" Heidi exclaims.

"No!" Anna snaps, shaking her head. "If they hadn't agreed to come with us, Jen would still be alive. It's only because they're here that they were caught up in it! Just like everyone else in our fucking lives!"

"Anna-"

"It's the fucking truth," Anna cuts Jordan off, her voice nearly hysterical as she whirls around to face him. "We fucking ooze of death-"

"I'm coming with you," Myles interrupts.

"What?" Anna exclaims, whirling back around.

"You are?" Heidi questions, eyes wide.

Myles nods. "Jen... she wanted to go. I owe it to her to see what we can find."

"But-"

"Anna." Myles takes a step towards her. "We would have died anyway. No matter where you are in the South, it isn't safe. It's not your fault they're dead."

Anna visibly stumbles back at his response before her lip begins to tremble. Turning away, she nods, dropping her gaze to the ground to wait for us.

I wish I believed Myles. Instead, Anna's words are echoing around my head, reminding me just how many people we've lost, how many have sacrificed their lives, and all for what? What have we even achieved?

Fucking nothing.

*~*~*

"Hey," Zac says, sitting down beside me and hauling me onto his lap. I accept, leaning my head on his chest as we face the fire. He reaches for my blanket, sliding it over the two of us. "Are you okay?"

"No," I answer honestly, my gaze flitting to the curled up Myles, laying over the other side of the flames. I haven't seen Anna since she decided to take first watch when we made camp here.

"Me neither," Zac replies against my ear before gently placing a kiss onto my skin. "We should try and get some sleep."

"I guess," I mutter. He tuts at my answer, shifting out from under me and pulling me against his chest. We lay down on the floor, pulling the blanket to cover us from the cold winter air and I automatically drape my leg over his, stealing his warmth when I rest my head on his shoulder, just shy of his chin.

"I'm sorry, Emi."

"Sorry?"

"Both of them..." he trails off. I bite my lip, moving my hand under the blanket and over his stomach.

"It's not your fault. Nothing to apologise for. Kieran was your brother." They're the only words I can think to say. We descend into silence as his arm coils under my neck, holding me against him.

Looking up, his intense gaze meets mine, and I quickly press my lips to his, slightly urgent, needing to remind myself that he's still here, alive.

He returns the kiss with fire, tongue swiping out against my mouth, pleading for entrance. I happily allow him in, the instant he caresses mine with his, I'm alight, everything inside of me stirring and awakening, craving more. 

I don't know whether it's the adrenaline of living each day as though it could be my last, or whether it's simply the effect Zac has on me, but every brush against my skin, every suggestion he makes, it all turns me on. I forbid myself from begging out loud for him to take me, savour me and show me what my body is missing.

It's the only normal thing we have going for us. The only simple part of our relationship.

With a groan, Zac pulls back, placing a final kiss on my lips before moving away. "I can't continue," he mutters. "It's just fucking teasing both of us."

"But it's fun." I pout.

"You know I want you," he mutters. "As soon as I know that me pounding into you isn't going to put you in potential danger, I'm not chancing it."

"Potential danger?" I repeat and he smirks.

"If we're going at it when Slayers attack, I'm hardly going to be shooting the right load, am I?"

"For fucks sake." I smack his chest, laughing slightly at his crude words.

"Soon," Zac promises, the gentle, teasing touch of his fingers brushing across my nipples through my top. I gasp, looking at him with wide eyes.

"Well..." I whisper as his hand returns to my waist. "It's London, tomorrow."

He breathes out, a long, deep breath before nodding. "London, tomorrow."

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Definitely hard to write, but I hope you still enjoyed it!

Does anyone feel for Anna? And Myles?

P.S. thanks so much for still reading after what I did in the last chapter!

Next stop London... 💚