By the time we return to Ethan's grandparents' house, the day has passed quietly into the golden hour and the sky has turned a thousand vivid shades of violet, crimson, and everything in between. D'spinas is at rest in her Pokeball and the rest of the team, save for Clay and Reginae, are chatting in hushed voices.

It's odd knowing that "the rest of the team" is down as low as three members, but I digress. Luna has Rose up on her back and Ten hops along beside them. "That was quite the match."

Luna grunts. She's still hurting, despite the high quantity of Potions I've attempted to apply to her wounds. "I'll manage."

"I'm sure you will. You're very strong."

Luna laughs. "So are you, owl. Anyone who can hop that long must be buff, if only in that one leg."

"Heh." Ten averts his gaze. "I suppose so?"

"Hey Ashley, where are we going?"

"Home." I say. The warm light of the house cascades around them, making them luminous. Luna's eyes are filled with the golden light and I knock on the door.

Ethan's grandmother opens hesitantly, smiling when she sees me there. "Ms. Hart! How did your gym battle go?"

"It... it was fine." I tell her. "Thank you. I actually just need to drop off my Pokemon. I'll be back in later."

I hear a voice calling from the kitchen. "Is that Ashley I hear? How did her gym battle go?"
The sides of my mouth prick upwards and I try not to let it show just how terribly forced it was.

"She said it was fine, dear! She's heading back out."
"Tell her it's getting late. She should be careful at this time of night. You don't know what you'll find out there."

"This is the perfect time of night to... uh... catch this Pokemon I want, actually! I've heard there are Eevees around this part that come out around sunset."

She nods. "I understand you must be very busy with filling that Pokedex. What a responsibility! Don't work yourself too hard, alright? Now, who do you want to deposit?"

"Everyone but my starter, please."

She nods thoughtfully. "One on one time with your very first Pokemon. That's always a good bond to have. Your starter is important, you know. You never have another like them."

You don't freakin' say.

Trying to fake a smile, I add, "Do you have any spare Super Potions? D'spinas got beat up pretty badly at the gym."

"Don't you worry about it. I'll take good care of her." she returns the smile, the genuineness of it making me feel slightly nauseated. I just nod again and hand her D'spinas's Pokeball. Hastily, I pull the others save for Reginae's out of my pocket and place them carefully in her hand. In their smaller form, they're no larger than ping pong balls.

The team watches anxiously. Rose yawns. Nervously, I ask, "Su- I mean... anyone want to watch Rose?"
They know what I was about to say but they also know better than to question me. Ten peeps, "I'll do it."

The Togepi waddles slowly into his arms and stays there, chirruping quietly. I look away and open the door. "Thanks again for your hospitality."

"You're so sweet. Make the most of that training time!" Ethan's grandmother calls after me.

The door swings closed and I'm alone in the dark. I exhale softly and turn towards the city, walking past the side of the house.
As I walk past the window into the chill night air, I hear a muffled voice from inside: "Eevees aren't native to this part of Johto."

"I know."

The grass grows taller around my feet and despite how relatively low the danger is I begin to feel dread in the pit of my stomach. I make my way up a nearby hill and sit down in an area relatively far from both the city and the house where the grass isn't too tall.
It's beautiful out tonight. The sky is a mess of stars and moonlight. The air is significantly more temperate and there's a fresh breeze blowing, tangling up my already messy hair. Nocturnal Pokemon scutter about in the grass, unaware of how fragile their universe is.

I throw out the Pokeball and Reginae emerges, panting. He faces towards the ground and his leaf looks far less glossy than it usually does.

"Reginae."

He looks up. His eyes are no longer feral, instead, they glisten with that same intelligence as they did the day I met him. I was such an idiot to focus on the eyes of a Cyndaquil who wasn't mine than his.
"Are you better?" Too naive.

He backs up, the grass stirring at his oversized feet. I move slightly forwards, scooting down the hill without getting up.

"Come on."

He backs up again, shaking his head frantically. I get to my feet in case he prepares to bolt.

"P-please don't tell me everything's going to be alright." He stutters, his voice gurgling in his throat. He keeps his eyes squeezed shut, his face turned away and his head still only a foot from the grass.

My hands tremble. "I'm not going to."

One of his eyes opens. It's rimmed with tears. "You're not going to give me some meaningless motivational talk?"
I roll my eyes. "Nah."

He breathes a sigh of relief.

"So."

He winces. "You still want to talk?"

"I want to help you."

"You wouldn't know what it was like." he mutters resentfully.

"I won't ask you to explain it, then." I reply.

There's a long period of silence, and then he continues, "She was in my head. All I could think about was how much I wanted that Miltank, to fall in love with it, to own it, to-" He shakes his head. "It was disgusting. So I fought back. I didn't- those- my emotions. I can't be fragile. There's no way anyone else can control them. It hurt, it hurt so badly, and I was scared- and then I couldn't feel anything at all. I couldn't even register emotion outside of fear and-"

I fall down and thrust my arms around his neck, pressing myself against him. "Oh my Arceus."

He leans back, gasping in something that almost sounds like a laugh. "They can control us. They can put anything into our mind and we have to obey. Just like when-" He chokes up.

"When what?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "I... I never told you why I hate psychic types."

My eyes narrow. I don't want him to panic, but Celebi's spirit stirs within me. "Go on."

"When I was younger... I mean very young, this was almost two years before I met you... I started having nightmares. They were so strong and forceful that I knew they had to be from something besides my own head. I would dream I was in the belly of a beast hundreds of times my size. I saw its eyes a few time. I started seeing it everywhere- and the mourning. Always the mourning. It sounded like it was calling for someone." His eyes stare blankly upwards. He's trembling slightly. "There are only a few Pokemon powerful enough to do that, but the only one I know with a cry like that..."

"Two years ago." I shake my head. "That was when Ethan went missing... Reginae. Was that Pokemon Lugia?"

"Erm... possibly? That doesn't matter. It-"

"Yes it does! Reginae, I've been having the same dreams!"

"You what?!"

"Yeah, but I'm already pretty screwed up in the head so I'm guessing it probably traumatized me a lot less. Wait- if we flashed, I could probably find some of the memories. This could be it! If I can put the puzzle pieces together, I could finally find out what the link between Ethan's disappearance and Lugia is."

He backs out of my grasp. "You sure? You tried something like that before?" His voice cracks nervously. "I- I don't know if that's such a good idea."

"It has to be. This has to work. I just need to try something. Anything." I reach a hand out desperately.

"I can't relive that. Not for you." His leaf is sharp and he's holding it towards me like a weapon. He might not be able to hurt me as much as he wants but he knows he can cause some damage if he wanted to.

"You need to do it for them." I get up. Green energy flickers from my body; radiant, terrifying, dangerous. "This is important. You don't understand what I've been through, who I've lost, what I-" I reach a hand out, my face and his both illuminated in the harsh light for moments before it flickers out into oblivion.

His eyes are full of fear. He looks like he did just earlier as we fought Whitney. His gaze narrows. "I- I'll fight you off!"

My fists clench. "Why are you being so selfish! I can't- I can't lose anyone else! Ethan has to be alive, and I'm going to find him, and I- I-" I stare down at him. "Oh Mew, what am I doing... Please... please just help me. I c-c-can't... I can't..." I slump down onto the ground, sobbing. I can't fail again. My mind is burning with uncertainty.

"How many?" he asks finally.

"Almost twenty." I whine through broken breath.

"You... you never thought to stop, did you?"
I consider several occasions, but I know in my heart that I never really could have. I shake my head, drawing myself into a better sitting position.

"If you could have them back, you would, wouldn't you?"
"Always." I swear.
"Even if it meant... we never would have existed. This never would have happened." Reginae adds hastily.

"Do you want me to lie to you?" I ask, my voice shaky and strange from how much my nose is running. My whole face is wet but he's still taking me seriously. He has me at a distance.

He shakes his head solemnly.

I sigh. "Yes. I still would."

"I knew it." he hisses.
"Are you angry?" I ask, more concerned than I should be. Part of me craves his approval. It has to be okay.

He sits down best he can. "When starter Pokemon are bred, they remain with their family for a very short amount of time before being ripped away. If I did know them, if I had stayed longer... I'd do anything to find them. I still think about them. Do you think they liked plants? Did they know the scientific names of everything they encounter? Do they read, do they prefer photosynthesis to food... do they think about me?" He resumes his composure. "I know I can never make up for what you lost. I can only imagine actually getting to know that family... and then having them ripped away."

"That's nonsense." I tell him, getting up. "We are a family now, and we are going to see my old team again. I know so." The images from Illex flash in my mind.

He looks up. "I'm so sorry."

I flash him a sad smile. "Me too. if you're ever ready, we can flash, but family doesn't hurt family. Ever."

With that, the two of us get up and walk into the night, free of guilt and inhibition for the first time in what seems like eternity.

(Afternoon. It's been a whole week, hasn't it? I will admit that it really has been a mix of things but the real reason, the foremost one, is a lack of motivation. Looking over my old work and my old ideas has made me realize that I'm not quite the writer I hoped to be at this point and that some of the things I care most about might be a little more amateur than I'd like to admit. (Heck, this chapter was really really shitty. I'm so sorry it exists. That, and well, I sometimes feel like what I'm doing... doesn't really matter. Most authors on here have like a book or something that's constantly flooded with comments and praise and I'm going to admit it- I'm a little jealous. Really jealous. I'm rounding up on 1K and my comment sections are still almost always bare. Did I go wrong somewhere? Is there something I'm not doing right?
There's so many ridiculous questions I ask myself but in the end, whatever it is, falls back on me to fix it. I'll keep pushing and try to crank out these chapters faster before the July Hiatus. 
Please remember that your votes, comments, even PMs, whatever you leave... that makes a difference.

Not just for me.

For all writers.

Thank you.)