"You can have the night off Dean." I mimicked Hunters voice as I the dark hotel room, "Night off my ass."

I mumbled a few choice words as I threw my bag down on the floor next to the bed I would claim and walked out onto the balcony.

Being with this company was frustrating at times.

The company was more invested in Roman than Roman was invested in himself. And now they had him paired off with Seth. Getting them ready for their MITB match which I would cash in on thus leading to highly anticipated shield triple threat match at Battleground.

That was all fine and dandy, but why not wait till Wrestlemaina do to the triple threat match? People would invest themselves in that. I had it all planned out in my head.

Seth would win at MITB, that'll give Roman some time away from the belt and maybe he can finally freaking relax some. I win at MITB but I won't cash in. Then wait till around Rumble time and let Roman win the rumble, he'll get a lot of heat but who really cares? Then have me cash in on Seth at FastLane. Seth's is angry, he demands a rematch, Roman still has to be in the main event because he won the Rumble, I'm the champ going into Wrestlemaina.

Bam

That's a four star main event waiting to happen at Wrestlemaina, but noooo they're putting us on at Battleground.

Someone put me on the damn creative team.

I grumble a bit more as I climb on top of the rail, sighing once I have myself situated.

Maybe I was just too irritated and annoyed to deal right now.

To say it had been a bad day would be a bit extreme but I'm an extreme type of guy.

I was annoyed by everything. Everyone that talked, everyone that even just walked by me, I was annoyed with them.

I didn't want to be there. I wanted to be at my house, alone in solitude.

Except... I didn't really want to be alone.

I didn't want one person there, but I just had let her go.

Dumbest. Decision. Ever.

Did I want Nikki? Well no shit. And I kept asking myself 'why didn't you tell her that' and I really have no reason to give myself except for the fact that I was trying to protect myself.

The major factor in all of this is that she still had feelings for John. And regardless of whether I would have told her to tell him yes or no, she would still have feelings. And I wouldn't want those feelings to mess of what we had... but I guess we don't have anything anymore.

I don't know, maybe it's for the best. Isn't there some dumb saying about 'if you love her let her go, if she comes back' blah blah blah.

Because I couldn't help but think, 'what if she came back?'

But then reality sets in. What are the chances?

I hear a voice coming from inside and I turn slightly, not seeing anybody.

I turn around and hop back onto the balcony, walking back into the room to see Roman closing the door.

"Were you talking to somebody?" I asked him as he entered the room.

"Just saying goodbye." He told me, then hummed slightly as he walked over to set down his bag down on the bed.

'Wait,' I thought to myself, 'Humming?'

"What's got you in a good mood big dog?" I asked him as he dug through the beg and took out his clothes.

"Huh?" He asked but never looked up at me, "Oh, nothing. It was just a good day."

I raised an eyebrow, "Talked to Joelle today?"

He immensely looked up with a smile, "Today and yesterday. I think she might come down for Battleground."

I gave a small smile and patted his shoulder, "That's good man. That's really good."

He nodded, "So how was your vacation?"

"It was, um." I mumbled, "It was good. Real good."

"Well that's good to hear." He told me, "Geez, man why'd you leave the arena so early?"

"Hunter pissed me off." I told him, surprised he was actually talking this much, "Decided to ditch the place."

"You missed a lot." He told me.

"Like what?" I asked him.

"Zack and Dolph arguing." He told me.

"They're always arguing." I told him, "They'll be back friends in two hours."

"Paige and Eva were near fighting." He continued, "Lana slapped the shit outta Rusev. Nikki and John are getting married. Sami and Kevin got into a legitimate fight, like there were no cameras around it anything-"

"Wait," I stopped him, "Say that again?"

"Kevin and Sami-" he started but I stopped him again.

"No." I told him, "The part before that."

He thought for a moment, "Oh, Nikki and John are getting married."

I let his words sink in a little before answering him, "They are?"

He nodded, "John was running and spinning her around, shouting it to the high heavens."

I kept my mouth shut as I felt my eyes sting slightly, internally cursing myself.

"Hey." He asked me after a few minutes of silence, "You ok?"

"Uh," I said quietly, "I'm just gonna go step out for a minute. Go take your shower and get ready for bed."

He gave me one last glance before nodding and heading for the shower.

I walk back out to the balcony, my body feeling numb with every step I took.

'You fucking asked for this.' I shouted at myself, 'if you wanted her as bad as you claimed you would have kept her. You would have fought for her. You would have showed her you loved her.'

Why the hell did I assume my life was going to be some book with a happy ending? Why did I assume that she'd come back to me when I told her to marry him?

I didn't have the right to cry, but yet tears fell as I leaned on the rail.

I watched her slip right through my hands and it was my own fault that she was gone.

This hurt.

This was a different kinda pain from anything I've felt before. I didn't like it, I didn't want to deal with living like this for the rest of my life.

'It'd be a nice time to jump.' I thought to myself as I looked down off the rail, nothing below me except the cement.

I assume I have every right and this could be the icing on the cake.

'But I won't jump. I'll fly.' I thought to myself as I tiredly dried my eyes and let go of the rail and slowly backed into the room again, trying to contain myself as I slowly shut the floor, 'Just not tonight.'

***

the next chapter will have a time jump, and I know we all hate time jumps, but it's really necessary.