So what ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart

Roman's head leaned back against the wall and it caused the earphone that I was sharing with him to fall out of my ear.

I quickly caught it and placed it back in my ear as the thunder roared outside and some of my co workers buzzed around as they usually did before Monday Night Raw.

And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,
I'm swimming through the ashes of another life
There's no real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45

I sighed as Roman moved again and caused the earbud to fall out again. I decided that it's better to just leave it rather than try to go through that process again.

I closed my eyes and rested my head against the wall. I was use to being tired, but I truly felt exhausted.

After my little confrontation with Bella last night, I had a hard time falling asleep. And usually I could deal with being sleep deprived, I mean I had gone my whole life without having a truly good nights rest... but she honestly wouldn't leave my head and it was a different kind of tiring.

She swore up and down that she wanted to help me, but I really didn't feel like putting myself out there as a fucking charity case.

That, and the fact that she wouldn't understand.

You see, she's never hurt like I've hurt.

I'm not talking about physical rope burns and broken bones.

I'm talking about the kind of hurt that will leave you crying in the early morning hour after coming out of your sleep, knowing that you actually have to live.

I'm talking about the pain of holding all of your problems on your shoulders and it's constantly crushing.

I'm talking about the emotional fucking stress that you feel, then have to put on some kind of poker face and how hard it actually is to talk to people about anything.

She didn't get that. She never would get that because she'll never have to deal with that.

I glanced over at Roman who was blankly staring at the wall in front of him with a blank expression on his face.

"You alright big guy?" I asked him and he simply nodded.

I gave a small nod back before resting my head back on the wall, but immediately holding it back up when three people frantically ran past us, shouting order at each other.

Seconds later I heard a loud cry and Roman quickly took the one earbud out of his ear.

"What's going on?" I asked while standing up and stretching.

Roman looked around for a moment, then he pointed down the hallway.

I glanced in the direction and could see the colors of police lights flashing from outside, contrasting perfectly with the dark sky.

I raised a eyebrow, but sat back down just as Seth passed by us with his hands in his hair.

I watched him as he continued down the hall and immediately went out the door and towards an approaching ambulance, the sirens still blaring on it.

I heard another sudden cry, then another, and I stood up in confusion.

I glanced around to see Naomi passing us with her head buried in Jimmy's chest as they passed us.

"Jimmy, hey." I say and they stopped while I walked up to them, "What's going on?"

He sighed and glanced at his wife for a moment then back to me, "Something happened to Brie."

"Brie?" I asked, "Bella?"

He nodded, "Yeah, look man, I can't stay around for long, there thinking about canceling the show tonight-"

"What happened?" I asked him quickly. My mind not necessarily thinking of Brie, but her sister.

"I don't know much." He told me, "I know there was some guy with a gun."

I could see his lips moving as he continued to talk, but I couldn't hear anything else he was saying.

"Stay here," I quickly say to Roman then immediately take off into a jog down the hall.

It was extremely crowded with shocked and emotional people. You could hear the fans screaming from outside in the pouring rain.

I pushed my way past people and my eyes immediately landed on Daniel who wore a blank expression on his face. People were around him, attempting to console him, but he didn't react.

I continued into the crowd and next my eyes landed on Nikki who stood on into the corner, her clothes covered on a red substance and still soaking wet as though she had just come out of the rain.

"Nikki?" I asked as I approached her, but she stayed silent. I could see her shaking from here.

"Nikki." I say to her again as I stopped right in front of her.

Her eyes were trained on the floor and I actually felt myself getting worried.

"You're cold right?" I said to her while taking off my jacket, "I mean your shaking like mad, sunshine."

She didn't respond as I placed the jacket on her, gently lifting up her arms to place them in the sleeves.

"There we go." I say to her, "We can't have you getting sick now can we?"

"Why do you care?" She finally spoke in a harsh tone.

I stayed silent for a moment, slightly taken about to hear her speak like that.

"Because your hurting." I say to her as soft as I could.

She gave a coldhearted laugh before looking up at me. The look on her face, destroying a part from inside of me.

"Isn't this just what you wanted Dean?" She asked me coldly, "for me to cry. To hurt. I remember you fucking begging for it. Wasn't it just last night?"

"Don't you get it now Dean." She said with a laugh, but tears streamed down her cheeks,  "I'm just like you."

There's a million things I could have said in responds to her. I could have yelled that she was wrong, I could have even told her that I was sorry. But none of those would have been right.

I immediately grabbed her arm and pulled her towards my chest. She didn't resist, but simply buried her head in my chest and sobbed to her hearts content.

I couldn't tell you how long we stayed like that and how many looks we received from everyone around us, but I didn't stop. Not even when John himself came to check her did I stop. He didn't seem to mind for the moment, and I couldn't help but think that, wasn't he suppose to be the one consoling her?

Not until the ambulance announced that they were about to depart from the arena and go back to the hospital did she let go of me.

She didn't say a word but tears continued to fall.

She began to shrug the jacket off, but I stopped her.

"Keep it." I say to her softly, "You need to stay warm."

She didn't protest, but simply shrugged it back on while grabbing her bag.

"Is John gonna help you get your stuff?" I asked as she picked up one of her bags.

"He's with Daniel." She told me while trying to wipe her face.

I nodded, not even wanting to imagine how Daniel felt, "I'll help you."

"I got it." She said while bending down to pick up another bag, "I don't need your pity." 

I wasn't going to argue with her, it wouldn't fix anything.

She was hurting. She just lost her other half, that's something I wouldn't know. Yes, I lost a lot of people, but not anyone close. I couldn't relate.

Though she had told me not to help, I found myself taking the bags from her, even though she protested again, I simply ignored her.

She eventually gave up and I found myself holding the door open for her as we walked out into the rain towards the the ambulance, the fans still crowded around the area.

We made our way to the back of the ambulance and one of the paramedics held the door open for her to get in the back.

I stared into the ambulance at the figure that laid on the stretcher with a sheet covering it. I quickly tore my eyes from it, knowing that a young coworker of mine laid beneath it.

I looked to Nikki who's tears was blending in with the rain.

I shook my head at the paramedic, "I'll take her to the hospital."

He gave a silent nod before closing the door, and the moment he did, she fell to her knees.

"Hey, hey." I says as she wrapped herself into a fettle position on the ground, "Come on Sunshine, it's ok. I know it doesn't feel like it."

The only response I revived was a cry as she allowed for me to help her stand up.

"Nikki." I heard a voice say and looked to see John approaching us.

He immediately took her from me and wrapped her into a hug.

Her crying seemed to stop seize the minute he held her and I couldn't help but be a bit jealous of that. Maybe he really was what she needed.

"Thank you Dean." John said to me as he held onto her tightly.

I could do nothing but nod before walking off. The sight of the two of them literally making me sick.

I immediately walked back into the building, freezing my ass off as the air conditioning hit me and realizing sho still had my jacket.

"Dean?" I heard a voice say and I turned to see Roman walking towards me, "Are you ok? What happened?"

"I'm ok big guy." I replied.

He didn't seem convinced and I gave him my best smile, but just like usual, I had to hide a million different feelings behind it.