A/N: I'm so sorry if you guys didn't enjoy this book and this is another long chapter.

I'm sorry

Alex was quiet the whole time they walked home since his breakdown at the diner. He never felt this way in front of anyone except for Nora but he knew Nora since they are in high school but Henry had made his way into Alex's heart. He hated how easily he breaks in front of Henry and showed him as vulnerable as Henry is.

As they were walking along the streets, Alex couldn't help but noticed Henry is limping and was left behind him.

"Are you okay?" He asks and Henry stops in the middle of the pavement exhaling as he rubbed his thigh. "Thank god you asked." He said leaning forward and cuffed his thigh with his hand. Alex rushed to his side and felt shivers running down Henry's body as he helped him towards the bench by the side of the pavement.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Alex asks as Henry sat on the bench and stretched his right leg forward massaging on his stiffed calf as he does so. "I'm sorry." Henry says and Alex sighed before he crouched right in front of Henry and rested Henry's legs over his thigh as he helped rubbing his calf and moved up to his thigh.

"Ahh." Henry groaned in pain as Alex cupped his calf and felt the tightness on his muscles. "Wait. It's not supposed to be this painful." He says and he could see Henry's eyes practically red holding on his pain. "It does. I don't think I can walk home now." He says and Alex didn't think twice when he pulled Henry's pants cuff above his calf and saw his calf is pale but warm when he touches.

"We need to get you to the hospital right now." Alex says and immediately got up and accidentally let Henry's legs down on the ground hard and he screamed in pain. "Jesus I'm sorry Henry." He apologized and immediately hailed a cab.

When they got to the ER, it was always crowded with people but Henry had Alex so he was seen immediately into one of the room. They came and checked on Henry and took some of his blood and Henry had some technician came and did an ultrasound over his legs. He was given some fluids and still denying the pain medication although Alex could see Henry is fighting his tears in pain.

After almost couple of hours of waiting, Henry was finally seen by someone, a lady doctor who had black raven hair and she was holding on to a metal folder in her hand.

"Good to see you Henry. The last time we met, you are barely alive." She said and Henry furrowed his eyebrow in confusion cause he definitely never met this woman before but when he looked to his side, Alex is grinning at them both.

"Henry, this is Dr Sofia my head of the department." Alex introduced her to Henry and they both shook hand. "Alex when I told you to get some information and get to know him, I didn't mean move in together." She says and Alex could see Henry hugged his body feeling the awkwardness of this conversation. Alex noticed Henry's discomfort so he decides to divert the conversation.

"What's the results?" He asks and Henry turned his eyes towards Sofia. "Well, there is minor occlusion but not severe. We can treat it with some medication to dissolves the clots." She said to Alex and Henry is having a hard time to understand any of it.

"Won't that be risky? He had some surgery and it's high risk for bleeding." Alex asks and Henry kept his silenced. "It would be but denying the medication would make it worst. We will start on the loading dose and will wait before we sent you guys home, in case if anything then we would be here to help." She said and Henry could see Alex nodded before thanking her.

When Alex looked at Henry besides him on the bed, he was so confused that his face is practically begging for him to explain.

"There is a clot formed in your leg that made it blocked the blood circulations. If we didn't treat it, it might get worst but if we do, there is high chances of bleeding cause it works two ways. It's to dissolve the clots and when it does, it can moves some place else and it also made your blood thin so if in case you bleed inside, it would be difficult to stop." Alex stares at Henry's face when he explained it to him and Henry pressed his lips together before he leaned his head back on the pillow.

"So if I do it, it will make my body bleeds from the inside or the clots might get stuck somewhere in my body and I would die. If I don't do this, I would lose the leg and probably die too." He says and Alex slowly nods, "But we won't let that happened so you will be monitored." He tried to ease Henry's worry but Henry snorted.

"Ironic isn't it?" He asks and Alex looked at him in confusion, his eyebrow crooked as he sat closer. "The boy who wished to die now had two choices to make and it both can lead to his death." Henry laughs painfully and Alex raised his hand over Henry's and he let him.

"You're not going anywhere. I'm going to be here for you." He said and Henry nods with a weak smile on his face. Henry stared into Alex's eyes and they both weren't able to tear their gaze away from each other not until someone came into the room after knocking the door and Henry startled.

"Hiya, we're gonna start you on the medication now." She said and Henry smiled at her nodding his head as she gives some instruction about what to look out for and Alex sat beside him just like he promised.

Few hours later Henry was already fallen asleep for a while and it seems the medication work fine and he had no signs of bleeding anywhere and he was ready to be discharge. Alex had his medication in his hand after he returned to the room and Henry was already changed into his own clothes waiting for him. "I'll get you a wheelchair." He said and Henry pulls him back, "No need, I'm fine Alex." He said and Alex still not convinced but he let Henry decides as they exited the hospital together.

They both rode the elevator together in silenced and luckily just the two of them inside the elevator. Henry stood right next to Alex and his shoulder practically brushing Alex's shoulder since he is few inches taller than he is. They both stood so close to each other Alex could practically feel Henry's warmth travels next to him. Henry looked to his side and stares at Alex's tired face although he might tell Henry he isn't but Henry knew he does.

"Alex?" He whispered and Alex turned his face towards his side facing Henry and it was literally only an inch away from Henry's. Alex could feel warm breaths exuding from Henry's lips as he stares into his hazel pairs.

"Henry?" He whispered and before he could ask further, Henry pressed his lips towards Alex's and he swore he was melting in his kiss. Later he could feel Alex, opened his mouth and deepened Henry's kiss and his hand went to cup Henry's cheek.

Henry was breathless when Alex pulled away from his kiss but left his palm over Henry's cheek rubbing his thumb over Henry's jaw. "Woah." He says and Henry smiled. Alex wanted to lean and kiss him again but the elevator door opened and they both jumped as they saw the two old couples stood eyeing them practically in heat but they both had pulled away from each other.

Alex pulled Henry out from the elevator by his elbow with a shy smile on his face and Henry swore his face is as red as tomato right now as he apologized to the old couple and they both giggling as they walked out and headed towards Alex's apartment.

Alex opened the door and let Henry entered first before he closed the door shut and locked it for the night and saw Henry had went to his bedroom leaving his door slightly opened. Alex contemplate whether he should go and finished what they had before or stayed in his room instead but the moment he saw Henry walked passed the door in his bedroom shirtless, it's almost as if his legs had a mind on his own and he walked towards Henry's room.

He pushed the door wide opened and revealed Henry is hanging the sweater back into the closet leaving him bare chested with only his pants on and immediately Alex's body went to him. Henry turned surprised by Alex rushed over to him and he turned Henry's body to face him by his shoulder and crashed his lips over Henry and it felt right.

Alex never felt so hungry to kiss someone before and he swore whenever Henry's moaned in his lips, he wanted to rip open Henry's pants and just fuck him right there. But the thing with Henry, he wasn't that in rush like Alex does. He savored every moment he had when Alex's lips touches him and when Alex's hand traveled from his cheek down to his chest, he gripped Alex's hair tighter in his hand.

"Alex- w-wait. Wait." Henry stops him and he almost leaned for another kiss but Henry pulled away pressing his palm over Alex's chest pushing him a little before their eyes met again.

"We shouldn't." Henry says and Alex was practically out of breath trying to process what Henry are saying. "This is wrong. I shouldn't kiss you. I don't want you to feel like I'm returning you a favor or something." Henry explained and Alex smiled before cupping his face again, "Sweetheart, that the least on my mind right now."

Alex crashed his lips against Henry again and this time Henry let him take control. His cupped hand that ran over Henry's cheek now had travel down to his waist and Alex let it traveled further behind Henry's ass and soon he lifted Henry up and let Henry wrapped his leg around Alex's waist. Henry winced as his right leg still felt pain whenever he bend them but he won't allow Alex to stop from doing what he was doing.

Alex walked towards Henry's bed and placed him down on the bed softly and continued to kiss him while his body rested in between Henry's legs.

"This complicate things Alex." Henry said in between his kiss and Alex shook his head, "Only if you keep thinking about it." He says and crashed his lips again. Alex let his hand traveled Henry's bare chest and soon palmed Henry's growing erection underneath his pants. He moaned when Alex's palm brushes against his member and his hip bucked against his palm.

Henry run his hand over Alex's cheek and Alex kissed the inside of Henry's palm softly before his eyes landed on the red marks covering Henry's forearm. He gripped Henry's wrist before Henry could pulled it away, Alex had his grip tightened over Henry's making him unable to pull away from him.

"Hen? What is this?" He asks as his eyes met with Henry flushed face and his mouths still gaped apart trying to catch his breaths. "This is new." He says and he could see Henry gaped mouth trying to find words to explain his reason of cutting but couldn't and instead his tears dropped on his temple as Alex still holding on to his wrist.

"I'm sorry. I was weak." He could only said as he sat up and Alex saw how guilty Henry felt about this and instead of being angry at him, he pulled Henry by his wrist and hugged him instead.

They both stayed in Henry's bed that night with Henry laid his head on Alex's chest with Alex arm wrapped around his body, blanket over them both and their legs intertwined. Henry had fallen asleep on Alex's chest with his finger tangled with Alex but Alex is wide awake. His eyes never left Henry's face worrying about his fuss mind and wished Henry would see himself like the way Alex did. Instead of fragile boy who was left nothing in this world and so vulnerable, he is a strong person who willing to do anything for the one he loves.

He rubbed circles over Henry's arm still have Henry sleeping on his chest and he let him slept through the whole evening. But when Henry woke up middle of the night, Alex was no longer there by his side anymore. His bed side where Alex had slept on is empty and cold indicating he had gone a while now.

Henry didn't bother to get out of bed for now seeing Alex had disappeared and pulls the blanket higher to his neck hiding his coldness and his emptiness that Alex had left him and regrets on what he did earlier. He shouldn't have kiss Alex, it made things more complicated right now. He won't know how to face him right now.

Henry wishes Alex would be back in his room but for the rest of the night, he didn't and Henry couldn't sleep. He keeps getting awoken by even the smallest noise he could hear either from a honk outside or the trash can rattles, he jumped wishing Alex would be here right now.

But Alex didn't came back for the rest of the night and when Henry woke up the next day, Alex has already left the apartment assuming to work. Henry sighed feeling the urge to cut himself again but knowing how upset Alex got yesterday seeing Henry's marks over his arm, he didn't want to continue doing so for now at least. So instead, he cleaned.

From his room, his bathroom, he scrubs and scrapes every inch and every corner finding everything is wrong and refused to leave anything behind. After he finished with his own room, he went to the living room and he starts vacuuming, sweeping, moping, and again scraping each corner he could find, every window, every curves he could see that would triggered his inside.

He finished last around the kitchen and starts scraping on the kitchen tile and by the time he was cleaning the oven, the door rattle and someone entered with a keycard. He waited for that person to enter hoping it would be Alex but it wasn't, it was Nora. Of course she has a key from Alex and she used to take care of Alex before Henry is around.

She walked in seeing Henry on the floor with his hand red and flushed and Nora swore she could see the cuts all over Henry's finger as he scrubbed the oven with that metal sponged in his hand without any gloves on.

"What are you doing?" She asks and Henry didn't answer her exactly but holding on to the sponge in his reddish hand and pointed at the oven. She crouched down next to him before taking the sponge away from his hand and helped him up leading him to the kitchen chair. Henry must have look like a child being taken care off by these people but Nora is different. She might seem harsh around Henry or maybe cold but Henry could see that she worried of him.

The apartment was spotless, Henry is definitely over cleaning it for some reason. Nora had left him sitting on the kitchen high chair and went into one of the kitchen cabinet and took out a first aid kit. She placed the kit on the table next to Henry before taking a solution and poured into a pice of cotton ball and asked Henry to go and washed his hand before she helped cleaning his wound.

Henry sat as Nora tending to his cuts over his knuckles and his fingers but it wasn't that deep, it was just a scrape and Nora knew how much it hurts only that Henry didn't even react when she touches them.

"Remember our deal?" She asks and Henry nodded feeling embarrassed by her. "Did you talk to Alex today?" He asks and Nora nodded softly. "He's worried." She says and Henry's face dropped knowing how he disappoints Alex. "Is he angry?" Henry asks as Nora tossed the cotton balls into the trash can and washed her hands.

"What do you think?" She asks as she wiped her hand dry with the towel. She could see how Henry divert his eyes towards the floor instead. "So, our deal is." Nora started bringing Henry's eyes back to her. "You will come work for me. I'm not going to pay you much but at least you have something else to do for the rest of the day and Alex won't be worry too much leaving you here all alone and found you dead in the bathroom after you bleed yourself."

Henry turned his gaze back to the floor feeling embarrassed by Nora's word and he knew she was right. He nodded slowly agreeing with her and didn't say much after. "You start tomorrow. I'll pick you downstairs in the morning around eight." She says as she handed Henry the towel and grabbed her bags before she let herself out.

Henry stood in the kitchen eyeing her standing over the door before she left and she stops herself before she took one last look at Henry. "We're just here to help you Henry. But more importantly you need to help yourself or all of these is for nothing. You might be the one who wanted to get hurt physically and emotionally but Alex didn't deserve that. What you were doing hurts everyone around you and if you didn't want to help yourself then there is no point in anything at all."

Henry gulped feeling a lump stuck in his throat as he watches Nora left the apartment. His hand clasped on his chest as he felt the tightness grew and tears starts to flood his eyes. He exhaled sharply and his hand gripped his chest stronger as he sat by the chair and letting his tears falls on his face.

He stayed in his room for the rest of the day and he heard Alex came home quite later that night. Henry didn't want to bother him and he knew Alex must be exhausted by now so he stayed in his bed wrapping himself in his blanket.

He heard Alex soft knock on the door calling him but Henry faked sleeping so he would just leave and eventually Alex did. He closed the door and didn't bother Henry for the rest of the night.

As promised, the next day Nora came bright and early and fetched him from Alex's apartment. Nora had a driver came by and picked her up every day and they stopped by Alex's apartment to pick up Henry before heading to work.

Even though it's the same hospital they both work for, it was entirely different building. Henry met Alex in the inpatient building and Alex worked at the ER but Nora is in the specialist building where only clinics and appointment were allowed and Henry could see how calm and organized her work is rather than Alex.

As they both ride the elevator towards Nora's clinic, Henry stood silently next to her. He had his dress shirt on with his slacks that Alex had bought for him and he followed Nora heading towards her office.

Her office is on the third floor and as Henry followed, he could see how everyone was connected and greeted her. She must be a good person, Henry thought otherwise not everyone would be this cheerful seeing Nora early in the morning.

Nora let Henry inside her office and told him to sit before she hangs her coat and placed her bag underneath her table. She sats before Henry and noticed how Henry eyes travels around the room. He saw all the certificates of her achievement hangs on the walls and he was impressed. "Here." Nora told him handing him the paper for him to sign.

Henry eyed the paperwork right before him and noticed it was for the employment and it requires all the details he needed to put. Name, birth date, phone number and Henry eyed her knowing well he doesn't have all the information she needs.

"The only thing I could tell you is my name." He said and Nora sighed. She took the paper back and writes Henry's name and his address which is Alex's apartment. "Don't you have a phone?" She asks and Henry shook his head, "I don't see the point of having it. It's not like I'm gonna call anyone." He said and Nora sighed again rubbing her temple.

"What about bank account?" She asks and Henry shrugs. "Does every homeless person have a bank account?" He asks and Nora didn't like his sarcastic tone. "As the matter of fact, they do Henry. Even social security number." She says and Henry inhaled sharply.

"I'll rephrase that. Does anyone who is not an American living in New York with no visa were able to get a job and opened a bank account?" He asks and Nora finally realized. Henry was deep in trouble and not only he is stuck here but he is also here illegally.

"This is harder than I thought." She mutters as she grabbed her mouse and starts clicking on the computer. Henry stood pushing the chair behind and thanked her. "I know you're trying to help but I don't see how. I might be here illegally but I am here by choice and I had no other places I could go except maybe six feet under." Nora finally looks up to meet Henry's eyes and before she could answer, Henry left her office and rushed out of the building.

She didn't think twice before she grabbed her phone and pressed on her screen in speed. It took three rings before Alex voice heard behind the speaker.

"Are you fucking kidding me Alex?!" She shouts and she knows how dramatic Alex is, he would probably tearing the phone off his ear. "What the hell Nora?? Is fucking morning and I'm in rounds!" Alex had just finish his morning rounds when Nora calls him and he was lucky not to put her on speaker.

"He is way too much trouble Alex. He has no document of prove being here legally and for someone who helped him, you know you would be partner of his undocumented crime." She screams and Alex had to take his call privately so no one could hear Nora even though she wasn't even here physically.

"Nora! You need to calm the fuck out right now. Where is Henry?" He asks and Nora sighs. "He left. I didn't had a chance to tell him about the job yet and he just - left." She heard Alex exhaled in the other end and Nora pressed her lips together.

"Can you please find him. I don't want him wandering around alone with his state." Alex worried that since Henry incident, he might had complications if being unguarded and if he had another clot incidents while he's alone, Alex won't be able to reach him in time.

"Please." Alex begs and Nora sighs, "Fine! But you owe me." She said and Alex shook his head in disbelief. "I don't, you're a therapist and he's your patient." Alex says before he ended the call and Nora tossed her phone over the table before she went out to find Henry.

She ran frantically outside of her office scaring her assistant, Lucy. "Is everything okay?" She asks and Nora cleared her throat before she composed herself. "Yeah, uhm the guy who was here with me, do you know where he went?" She ask and she nods.

"Yeah, he is with Lex in the play room." She said and Nora cocked her head in disbelief. "Wait what?" Lex is Nora non verbal patient and he has intimacy issue and social anxiety which is a results of his severe autism. Nora blames his mother for not paying attention to him and she treated him like he's an object of her possession.

She went to the isolated play room finding Henry sat opposite of Lex on a floor with the small table in between them. On the table itself contained a few army soldiers mixed with couple of miniature toys sets in rows and Henry was fixing his eyes over the table right in front of him. The more she look, the more she got confused about their little game.

None of them spoke about anything and Henry's eyes fixed on the toys before him while they both had take turn moving things right in front of them. "Check." Henry said and only then Nora realized what he was doing, they both were playing chess without an actual chess piece. They used the toys to resemble the piece.

She could see for the first time, Lex actually look up to see Henry right in his eyes before he had his gaze turned back to the pieces right in front of him. Nora could see Henry had him cornered as he took a while making his next moves.

He pushed one of the tall piece away and smile at Henry before he realized and hides the smile on his face, "Checkmate." He said and Nora gasped. Henry turned his head towards her sharply with his eyebrow furrowed. "That is the first time he spoke." She said and Henry nods,

"Something is better left unsaid. Sometimes silence is all we need to make a point." He says and Nora could feel how connected that was to Henry.

She noticed how sometimes Henry is non verbal and he prefers silent over loud music unlike Alex and loud environment triggered him. She didn't actually noticed that with Henry but now she does. Henry stood before he wanted to leave and a small hands suddenly pulls him by his side and noticed it was Lex who wrapped his little finger over Henry's.

Henry smiled and so does Nora and Henry eyed his pleading eyes next to him. Lex has blue eyes with his blonde curly hair and he was not saying anything but Henry knows what he needed. "Stay. I know what your purpose here now." She said and Henry turned his head towards her, "You'll be my patient support person." She says and Henry smiled nodding.

For the rest of the day, Henry stayed with Nora's patient, helping them figuring out what therapy is all about and Nora finding it hard to believe that Henry is actually a child in therapy himself. It wasn't until after work and Henry stepped into Nora's office by the end of the day that made Nora wanted to ask him about his past.

"Did your parents make you go to therapy?" She asks as Henry sat before her and he stayed silent staring on the surface of her table that now scattered with files and paper.

He nodded softly before he spoke, "I was non verbal until I was eight. Dad thought because I was birthed traumatically. Mum blamed herself on what happened to me. But then my dad died and it starts all over again." Nora stayed silent after hearing what Henry says and she sighs leaning against her chair.

"I'm sorry." She said and Henry looked up to meet her eyes, "I judge you wrongly and I can see why Alex is determined to help you. Henry you are different and you see people differently than others. Most of the people include myself, we only see what's on the outside but Henry, you saw what's on the inside and instantly you clicked. You have a kind heart and we need more people like you in this world."

Henry smiles nodding at her, "I tried. But people only sees what I am on the outside instead of what's inside. Including my brother Phillip. He only thinks that protecting the image of a perfect family is all that matters. That having a gay son or brother would ruined it."

Nora could see how upsetting this was for Henry and she leaned forward closing her palm together and smiled at him, "I know it's hard but Henry you need to find closure in this. Those people meant everything to you but they didn't share the same interest as yours. Build your own family, your own life and you will be happy too."

Henry stares into his finger feeling the roughness of his tips and how horrible it look since yesterday, the knuckles are busted and his edges are cracking. "Am I allowed to be happy?" He asks and Nora could see his eyes starts pooling with tears before he look up.

"I don't even feel like I deserved to be here, breathing in the same air, eating the same food, walking the same streets. I just feel like it was a borrowed time before I was called and I need to left all of these behind." Henry says and Nora stood from her chair and walked around her table sitting besides Henry.

"Henry that is just a thought. That feeling you having is dangerous and it's what's killing you on the inside. You deserved everything in this world including the life that you had." Nora tried to reason and Henry turned his gaze next to him.

"I don't deserve Alex, Nora. Not in this life or the other. He is too important." He says and a single tear dropped on his cheek and Nora nods. "He is isn't he." She said and smile. Henry shook his head wiping his tears away before they were both interrupted by Nora's phone ringing. She grabbed it over the table and answered with a smile, "Just in time, we were just talking about you."

Henry looked to his side with a smile and Nora mirrored him, "Yeah, he is. He did a great job by the way. I might need him more than you." She laughs and Henry could hear Alex protest in her ear. "Yep, sure." She says before ending her call and Henry waited.

"Alex waiting for you downstairs, go on, I'll see you tomorrow." She said and Henry nodded before he stood and turned towards the door. He stopped and returned his gaze towards Nora who now already seated back at her seat in the middle of her paperwork, "Thank you Nora." He said and Nora nodded at him with a smile on her face. "I'll see you tomorrow Henry." Henry nodded waving her goodbye before he left the office and headed towards the elevator.

He stepped into the lobby finding Alex sitting at one of the sofa and he jumped to a stand meeting Henry's halfway with a smile. "Hi." Henry said and before Alex answered him, he pulled Henry by his collar and crashed their lips together. Henry was stunned but melted in his kisses as he pressed deeper and in one breath before Alex finally released them.

"I miss you." Alex said leaning against Henry's forehead and Henry mouth gaped apart not believing what he just heard and run his hands over Alex's cheek. "Me too." He says and Alex nodded exhaling in relief. They both walked out hand in hand and Henry felt complete having Alex arm wrapped around his shoulder as they both walked home.