Chapter Thirty Four
Me: You look pretty in that purple dress.
Juniper: Are you spying on me, Wells Hansen?
Me: Do you mean "Handsome"?
Juniper: No, Hansen.
Me: I wouldn't be surprised if that's how I'm saved in your contacts now—Wells Handsome.
Juniper: Are you always going to tease me?
Me: Don't pretend you don't like it. I know for a fact you liked it when my tongue was teasing you this morning in bed.
A smile spreads across my face as I set my phone down on the counter, continuing to scoop coffee beans into the bags. I glance up as Nora walks through the door with both hands placed on her hips. Her lip caught between her teeth.
"Hey," I greet her.
"Hi," she responds absentmindedly, her thoughts seemingly elsewhere as she starts pacing back and forth. I return to filling the coffee bags, continuing my task when she remains silent.
After several back-and-forths, she utters another "Hey," as if she'd forgotten she'd just spoken the same word a moment ago.
"Hi," I respond, huffing out a laugh.
She clears her throat, saying again. "So, hey." Her voice an octave higher than before.
I pause now, fully turning my attention to her. "Hey," I echo, furrowing my brows slightly as I notice how off she is behaving now. "Everything okay?
She nods, flashing me a forced smile as she climbs onto the stool, settling in front of the stainless steel work table that divides us. There's an uneasiness to her that's starting to make me a little worried.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she replies, shaking her head while she nervously begins biting her thumbnail.
"Did Liam do something?"
"No."
"Is he still giving you a hard time about wanting to go crab fishing in Alaska?"
She snorts out a laugh and flashes a smile at me. "No, I actually talked him into coming with me." But then her face falls once more, her eyebrows scrunching together.
"What's wrong, then?" I ask, continuing to bag up the rest of the freshly roasted coffee.
She exhales a breath between her lips, pausing for a moment before clearing her throat. Then, she asks, "So, um, what exactly is happening between you and Juniper?"
I pause, setting the bag aside and meeting her gaze. "Between me and Juniper? What do you mean?"
She looks down at her feet, which sway back and forth as she tightly grips the edge of the stool."I mean, are you guys dating or is this something else? You seem to really like her, and you're always with her, so I just thought maybe... I don't know. I thought maybe it was more serious between you guys."
I look at her, confused by the suddenness of her question. "Where is this coming from?"
She sighs and offers a shrug. "I don't know. Just curious, I guess."
She's clearly holding something back. It's the same look she had when she hid the fact that she and Liam had started dating—neither of them wanting to tell me. They had been together for two months before she finally let me know.
"Um, I'm not entirely sure. We haven't really talked about it yet." I add another scoop of beans into the bag and seal it shut.
"Well, maybe you should," she suggests a bit too tersely.
I exhale a sigh and turn to her. "I should what?"
"Talk to her about it, I mean. Because I think maybe..." She scratches her eyebrow as she thinks. "I think she might think it's more of a hookup situation."
"And why would you say that?"
She opens her mouth to say something, but no words escape, and she snaps it shut, directing her gaze back down at her feet.
"Nora?" I prompt when she doesn't respond.
She takes a deep breath and looks up to meet my eyes. "Well, because I might've overheard her and her friends talking about you," she says almost in a whisper.
I swallow the knot forming in my throat "What exactly did she say?" I press.
"I don't know, something along the lines of you just being a hookup," she says with a hesitant tone.
I pause, turning around to put the coffee bags away on the counter behind me. Clearing my throat, I try to gather myself before I speak. "She said that? That it was a hookup?"
"Well, no. Her friend was the one who said that. But, she also didn't deny it." She responds, and I nod once, organizing the bags neatly on the counter.
I should have fucking known better. She told me from the start. I knew all along, but I was too caught up with everything, Juniper. Because all of this felt like a lot more than temporary to me. It always had.
Apparently not to her.
That's why I haven't told her about the job offer from the New York Times I received two days ago. That's why I haven't given them an answer yet. Why I thought that maybe this thing between us was a good reason to stay here in Seattle instead of going to New York. To be with Juniper.
"Don't do what you did with Emilia," she says suddenly breaking me from my thoughts.
"This is different," I reply, turning my head slightly so she hears me. It's much different. I didn't love Emilia like I do with Juniper.
The heartbreak of it all is far more intense. There's this crushing pressure in my chest, an unbearable sensation that feels like it's ready to implode.
The tips of my ears are burn, my hands are clenched tightly on the counter. And I'm angry. Not angry at Juniper, but at myself. She was clear from the start, and I feel foolish for allowing myself to get caught up in these emotions.
"It's not that different," Nora states firmly. "Don't shut down like you did with her. Don't close yourself off."
"I'm not shutting myself down."
"No, yeah, you're right. That's why you can't look me in the face right now," she retorts.
I turn towards her, leaning against the counter behind me, placing my hands on my hips, but I can't bring myself to look at her. Instead, I fixate on the floor, where some of the coffee beans have fallen and need to be swept up.
"Talk to her, Wells. Maybe she just needs to hear you say that—"
"It doesn't matter," I interject, shaking my head and meeting her gaze.
"Of course it matters. Why wouldn't it matter?"
"Because, first, this was always supposed to be just for the summer. That was the agreement. It was never supposed to last any longer—"
"I don't buy that for a second," she tries to interject, shaking her head vehemently, staring back down at the floor.
"—then summer, and second, there's no point in talking to her about it anyway because I'm moving to New York."
Her head shifts towards me, and I set my jaw, turning my eyes to the floor again. She remains silent for a moment.
"They offered you the job?" she finally asks.
I nod in response. "Yeah. Turning in my two weeks' notice when I get back to the office on Monday."
The coffee shop's door swings open, the little bell above it chiming lightly, capturing Nora's attention as she briefly glances at the entering customers. Simultaneously, my phone pings, prompting me to glance down at the incoming text.
Juniper: Dinner tonight? I might even let you tease me some more with that tongue of yours.
My arms cross tightly, and I grit my teeth as I read it. It was always right there– right in front of me. Her words echo in my mind. This can't continue once summer is over.
"I think you're making a mistake," Nora says, rising from the stool.
"I know," I mutter, closing my eyes in frustration. "You've made it abundantly clear you don't want me to move back to New York."
"No, Wells. Not about New York. About Juniper. Don't let her walk away like you did with Emilia," she asserts as she walks toward the front counter of the shop.
What she fails to grasp is that, yes, I did let Emilia walk away, but I never truly wanted her enough to make her stay. The difference now lies in the fact that I want Juniper, but she's always wanted to leave; staying was never her intention.
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