Every morning was a reminder of the tide that had settled. She had come to terms with the incident that led her here. It was the past and nothing more. She could think about it and feel anger and sadness. Little did she know that was the very problem.

A resentful laugh echoed in the quiet night. Get over it, Divya. It's been thirteen years.

But that's the thing about trauma. It never truly goes away. Always lurking in a corner ready to pounce. Sitting just under the surface of the water, wanting to break through when it was least expected.

The gloomy horizon of the cliff was comforting in the cold dusk. As the sun rose, she fought the urge to wake Ragini up. The older girl had just dozed off a while ago as she snuggled into the smaller body. After the eventful night. She deserved the rest.

Divya skillfully glided her hand over the mat while making sure the sleeping girl didn't slip out of her grip. Reading the notification, she set an alarm wanting to not miss the session with Rakshit. There is no way she was returning to that room again. Let's just get it over and done with.

---broken promises---

"You know that I can do this all day right?" the rockstar huffed in annoyance at Rakshit.

"And you know that I am just as stubborn as you, right?" he shot back.

Divya scowled. "Nope, I don't. We don't stare at each other every day that I was to notice. I'm so very sorry."

"Then I guess we'll just have to wait and see," Rakshit smirked. "But Ragini and I had a chat. Something about a promise that a certain someone fully cooperated in this session. I wonder what she will say when the promise is not fulfilled."

Divya internally groaned but kept her face straight. Ragini, the ever-smart one, made sure there was no escape from this nightmare. Why did I have to give in to the pout? Stupid emotional fool. A beat passed before she begrudgingly sighed.

"Fine. what do you want to know?"

"Nothing much. Just how are you feeling." he shrugged.

irritated by this stupid question, she rolled her eyes. "Can I leave now?"

Rakshit only gave me a smug look, like he had a trick up his sleeve that could destroy any arguments she made. "You know, someone who runs away from their problems is often too afraid of what could happen if they stay. Some call it a flight over fight instinct."

Fight. Her primitive nature was to fight. Kinda depends actually. "Okay," she said, boredom written across her face. "Any more physiological facts I shouldn't know about given my course of study or are you just telling me this to test your limited knowledge."

Rakshit found himself caught off guard by her callousness. Either she is really unbothered or just...slow. All his encounters with students usually didn't need this much priming. They were thought to gain trust and build a rapport before indulging in further discussion.

But this was not like any other case. This was special. His client was very untrusting and building a rapport in one session was next to impossible. So he had to use poking instead. Challenge her indifference. Challenge her pride. That was exactly what he was going to do.

"Not really. But you need to do a lot of things about yourself," he started picking up the notebook he had kept on the table between them. "For starters, your anger makes you lose self-control."

Divya looked at him like he was an idiot. "Wow, you are unimpressive. No shit I know that. Since you are dying to get to know me, I shall make it easier for you. I am very much conscious of the fact that I lose my shit when anger takes over. A lot of things I do are because of that."

"I am aware of these as well. I am here to help you not damage anyone, anything or yourself even when that happens."

"What's so wrong about blowing steam by using my hands? You'd be surprised at how well it works."

"Then do it on objects, not people."

"I will try."

The counsellor closed his notepad and set it on his lap. This was going to be hard. "Then I guess we don't need to talk about this. Let's discuss someone a little more interesting."

"What?"

"Your status as leader of the midnight spirits," he grinned. "How oh so successful you were while you reigned."

The electric guitarist narrowed her orbs at him. "I got the sarcasm. You think I didn't do a good job."

He shook his head. "What I think doesn't matter. I wanna know what you think."

"I was fantastic at it. Still am," she gloated. "Sides, they are not just my band. They are the most important people in my life."

"So important that you let them and yourself walk down the road of wrongdoings."

Something popped inside her and a stunning gulf of anguish and vibrant rage weaved a furrow inside her. "Excuse you."

"Don't get me wrong. It's admirable that you are so fiercely protective. I just think if you pride yourself as their best friend and guide, you should have known better," he shrugged, not sure himself of where this was going. "And when the one who tried to stop you disagreed, you didn't listen."

"I..." unwillingly she went into a thinking trance. Wait what. "You are saying I wanted them to do this because of their own selfish reason?"

"No. When they make a decision it's usually based on what you say. What you say goes because you are the leader. And this responsibility was yours to make sure they were on the right track. You broke their trust."

A warm feeling went through behind closed eyelids. "You are no one, Rakshit Shergill, to judge us."

It worked. Just a little more. "It's an observation. And don't give me the- they did it so we did too. there wouldn't have been an announcement of apologies yesterday if that was the case."

"Why the fuck is everyone so obsessed with what we do!" on cue, muscle memory kicked in and her palms were in a ball.

Rakshit clapped his hands. "This," he pointed a finger at her. "This exact feeling right now. Your anger is what makes you lose sight and makes you do things. Someone accidentally crosses you and this anger blinds you. When it takes over you don't realise."

"You don't know what you are saying."

"I do. And why do you need to keep thinking your friends are fragile? They don't need you to be a knight in shining armour."

Having heard enough, the girl yanked her bag over a shoulder giving Rakshit a last glare. "Fuck off." she slammed the door on her way out.

Rakshit blew a puff of air. That was not exactly what he wanted but the seed had been planted. All that needed to be done was introspect. Divya needed to understand how to get a grip on her anger and not do things to hurt others. Not everyone deserved what they did. Harshad not included.

He had addressed a lot of issues at once now that he thought about it. Anger, groupthink, saviour complex. That went well.

---broken promises---

Looking at the Singhania parents brought a smile to Ragini's face. They were what she wanted and had until the age of five when things started changing.

Until that age, she always had the time, care, attention and love of her own parents. After that, it didn't happen as often. She would see them for a day or two before they were gone for long periods of time again. For the large part, she was looked after by her nanny.

But with her increased time spent at the Singhania residence, there wasn't a need to keep her around anymore. Aditya and Anjali had practically adopted her. Ragini was okay with it because she didn't have to spend the night alone under the blanket, scared of the monster under the bed. She would have someone read her a bedtime story. There would be people to open Christmas gifts with. There would be someone to bear her tantrums when getting ready for school.

Sajana and Rohan Khanna were busy people. Constantly working and looking for a way to expand their business, they worked hard and long hours. Business meetings happened out of town with big investors. With a child as young as Ragini, she couldn't go with them and thus was left in the care of a nanny. They would come back bearing gifts and treats as a means to pacify their upset daughter.

It worked until she started growing older. There wasn't a need to do all that because Ragini started to understand why they couldn't be here with her. Each apology was met with an "it's okay." no matter how much she missed them, it was okay because she thought it was for her. That this was how they showed how much they loved her.

In that process of wanting to provide the best for their child, they forgot they had to be there in person to actually do it.

That doesn't mean Ragini did not love her parents. From the moment she gained her senses, she looked at them with utmost respect and affection. There was no way she could ask for a better set than Sanjana and Rohan Khanna.

That is until this moment.

"You are what?" Ragini gulped in disbelief. Her fork clattered on the plate.

Sanjana laid her hand on her daughter's fingers where they rested on the edge of the table. "Honey, this is hard for you, we know. But this is  the best for you "

"Best for me!" she screamed incredulously, getting up from her table. "How are the two of you getting divorced the best for me?"

Rohan gave her a hard look. "Do not raise your voice at your mother," he warned before returning to his food nonchalantly.

"We have thought this through. It's not working out between your dad and me. If we stay together you will have to bear the brunt of the disagreements, Ragini. We don't want you to witness the screaming matches."

The pianist gave them a sarcastic laugh. "Really? You have never been around long enough for me to see them."

"Ragini," Sanjana looked down. "I admit that we have not been around but it is..."

"So that I have a secured future, the best education and never face a financial crisis," Ragini completed for her. "But at what cost mom," Her mother continued moving food around her plate, unable to answer her daughter. "Seriously?"

"I understand that you are not happy with this."

"Thank god you noticed, dad," she scoffed. "Congratulations on being able to read my oh-so-clear disagreement."

"This isn't about me. It's about our marriage that cannot continue."

"This marriage is what gave birth to me. Do you remember that or have you forgotten I am your daughter?"

Sanjana stood up. She held Ragini in a warm embrace. The student soaked in this rare peaceful feeling for as long it lasted. It wasn't every day she woke up with a good morning kiss on the forehead and a hug from her mother. "I remember. Never have I forgotten it."

"It feels that way."

"I am so sorry, baby girl." her mother sniffled.

"We haven't forgotten, Ragini."

"If this is what it's like when you remember, I don't want to know what happens when you forget."

Ragini moved away from her mother. The feeling wasn't something she wanted to get used to. It would only hurt when her mother would be off to another meeting the next morning. "You had thirteen years, mom. It's too late now."

"Hopefully what I'm about to say will make up for it," Rohan pressed his lips into a thin line. "We are giving you the option to choose who you want to stay with after the proceedings. The decision will be entirely yours. The ball is in your court. Sanjana or I will not pressure you."

Ragini stared dumbfounded at them. "So neither of you want me."

"That is not what I said," she whispered. The realization hit her like a ton of bricks and she felt herself stumble infer the pressure of those bricks.

"You didn't have to, dad. Unlike you, I don't abuse my privilege of being stupid once in a while." Ragini turned on her heel, grabbed her bag at the side of the kitchen and slammed the door shut on her way out. This is not what she expected when her mother told her to be back early from school. As she stormed out, the noise of another shouting match reached her ears.

I don't care. Her fist clenched her fist, however, the words not agreeing with her. Just like they didn't care about her enough to follow her and make sure their daughter would be safe.

"This was never about me." with that she took down the street before a car horn and blinding light clouded her already blurred vision.

---broken promises---

"Hey, lucky." aria greeted her son as he came home.

"Hi," Lakshya was making his way up the stairs but stopped. He glanced at his mother. "Mom, can we talk?"

Aria set her laptop aside and gestured for him to sit. "What do you wanna talk about?"

"Da- your ex-husband," he muttered.

His mother gaped in shock. "You never talk about him. Or anything usually. Are you okay?"

"Yes, I am." Lakshya nodded. "But I want to talk today. I need to know something. About him and about myself."

"I am listening," The guitarist played with his hands skittishly until another warm one wrapped around him. He looked at his mother. "I am listening to you, son."

"What made you suspect him? What was the moment you realised something was wrong."

Aria took a minute to think back to the time she was married and Lakshya waited patiently. "Well, his business had been going on for a long time. Before we were even married. He managed to hide it for many years and I didn't suspect a thing. Never was I disappointed with him as a husband. He was supportive and helpful." the faintest tears pricked the corner of her eyes. "But all facades are exposed eventually. I am guessing his business was losing money. I remember something about a raid. That's when things started to go wrong."

"Wrong how?"

"He started getting more aggressive. A simple conversation could take a huge turn into a heated argument. More distant and uninterested in the family. He'd spent hours in the study room god knows doing what. Put into simple words, he wasn't the man I got married to."

Laskshya remained quiet thinking about the words that had just been spoken. His mother didn't know what they did in school. What would she think about me if I told her? "Mom," he took a deep breath. "Am I the same person you gave birth to?"

Confusion would be an understatement for what Aria was feeling right now. Her motherly instincts told her, yes but her rational side begged to ask the question she dreaded. "Laksh, where is this coming from?"

"I have something to confess," he swallowed the lump in his throat. "Shikar, Divya and i...we..."

With her hand still intertwined with his, she rubbed her thumb over it. worried lines made themselves known as a knot in her stomach grew.

"We ragged the other students. It was supposed to be a one-off but then... I don't know when or how it became a habit." her hand went cold and he looked up to see the horror-stricken face of his mother. "Mom, i-i am so sorry."

"Lakshya..." disappointment, anger, fear and confusion clearly evident.

"I swear we've stopped. The four of us are doing everything to fix this."

"How could you? I didn't raise you or shikar to become a bully!"

The guilty student stood up to retreat to his room. He barely took a step before his wrist was grabbed. "Lucky, wait this conversation is not over." he reclaimed his position on the couch. "I didn't expect this from the two of you. But if you say that it's happening anymore and that you have stopped and are trying to redeem yourselves, I believe it."

"I swear, mom. I don't want to become like that man." he tearfully admitted.

Aria was quick to stop him right there. "You are not and never will be. You are my son and I trust you. Yes, this news is shocking but you are fixing it. That's way more than he ever did."

"I am trying. I really am. Ever since realising it, I wake up guilty and go to bed drained thinking about all the bad things we've done. I can't tell Shikar 'cause I know he is just as wrecked as I am. I need to be there for him."

"He can take care of himself, Lakshya. He doesn't need you to shadow him around anymore."

"Can't help it. Since dad left, I am the closest male figure he has had to look up to. If I break, I'll be letting him down," They both noticed the slip in how he addressed Aria's former husband but none of them wanted to get into that now. It would be an unspoken observation.

He leaned against the backrest and shut his eyes. A defeated sigh escaped his lips. "Where do I go from here?"

"Your grandmother once told me, the first step to getting rid of guilt is to forgive yourself."

"I don't deserve it."

"You can't spend your whole life feeling bad about feeling bad. If you want to free yourself of this burden, then say sorry to yourself first. The day you can wake up lighter, you will be able to look at the one you wronged and seek forgiveness."

Lakshya descended from his seat and let his head occupy the space on his mother's lap. Aria smiled and ran her fingers through his raven hair. "Do you still love me after knowing this?"

"Always and forever. Good people make bad decisions sometimes. That doesn't make them monsters."

"He was the monster of our lives."

"No lucky, he was the monster of the kids' lives he ruined."

A sad smile formed on his glum face. "But karma came for him. The kid he abducted was the one that brought his empire down."

"Yea. God bless di..."

"Hey, mom!" Shikar greeted as he returned from the grocery store. "What's with the long faces?"

The older two people in the room shared a knowing look. "Shikar, let's have a chat." Aria addressed her youngest child.

---broken promises---

"Are you okay?" Drishti asked, jumping out of her car. The girl who had appeared out of nowhere stood frozen, eyes wide and mouth agape. Drishti immediately recognized her. "Ragini! What are you doing? I could've hit you. Again. and then your BFF would have chopped my head off."

Ragini swiped the sweat off her upper lip recovering from her frozen state. Her shaking however did not stop. "Sor-sorry. I-i was getting away from them." she got out.

Drishti touched her arm. "You're shaking. Did something happen," she momentarily glanced behind Ragini to see who was after her. "Who are you getting away from?"

"My parents," she sighed, adjusting the bag on her slumped shoulders. "We had a nasty argument, I just needed a breather."

As much as she wanted to avoid getting personal, it didn't feel right to leave her young student on the streets alone at this hour. "Okay well, where are you heading to, I could drop you off."

Ragini stopped with a pregnant pause to think. She didn't have a destination in mind when she bolted. She didn't want to face her friends right now. Going to Divya's would mean facing Anjali and Aditya as well. She couldn't deal with that right now. "Nowhere. I just need a moment."

Drishti still looked sceptical. "It's not safe to do it on the roads right now," especially when you are emotionally compromised. "If you need somewhere to refuge for a while, you could come to my place." The words left the class parent surprised herself.

The pianist shook her head. "No need. I am going to sit by the beach."

"That's worse. Look, it's really late. And it's just me and my parents at home. No one is going to disturb you. If you need, I could drop you home later."

"Fine," She agreed, not really in the mood to argue with anyone else tonight. Her face melted in her hand as she got in the passenger seat and leaned her head against the window. "Thank you, Miss Sharma."

The teacher nodded in response. The timely glances from Drishti didn't go unnoticed but she decided not to comment on the different behaviour. It was a quiet ride.

"We are home," Drishti informed her once they pulled into the driveway and walked through the door. Drishti dropped her keys into the bowl. Her mother came and gave her a quick hug and Sarthak a pat on her back. Ragini hung back giving them space and silently observed the interaction. It was an envious sight.

Vidya and Sarthak Sharma made sure they provided the best hospitality while Ragini was with them. Since Drishti had already informed them of her arrival, they graciously readied the guest room where she could sit in peace.

"The room is that way," Vidya pointed down the hall with a warm smile. "Third door down the hall."

I can see where Miss Sharma gets her pretty smile from. "Thank you, Mrs Sharma."

As she passed along the corridor a familiar face caught her attention. The student walked closer to get a better look at the photo that hung on the wall. She couldn't place her finger on who this person was. Curiously, she skimmed through the other pictures on the wall. Drishti was easily recognizable even at a young age and Ragini knew the girl she found familiar was not her class parent.

"That's my younger daughter," Vidya said, coming back with a glass of water. She stared at the picture sadly.

"She is beautiful." Ragini complimented noting the dip in the tone of the mother.

"She is," Vidya agreed. "Anyway, that's your room."

Ragini nodded and walked into the room indicated, dropping onto the beanbag. She waited, desperately hoping her parents cared enough to at least text and ask about her whereabouts. Alas, the hours ticked by but there were no notifications.

Wow, mom and dad. Amazing. People say when you get used to expectations not being met, the disappointment lessens. Bullshit.

Whenever the Khannas were off for another offsite meeting, Ragini waited just like she did today. She waited for a call from her mom telling her how much she was missed. She expected a message from her dad telling her he was going to be back soon. She waited to wake up in the morning to a surprise visit from them.

Yea a visit. Because they are only home to visit, not stay.

She grabbed her phone tightly in her hand, wishing she was strong enough to break it just like how her heart broke when she was met with disappointment every time. It's one thing to have another set of people care for you like their own. It's another when the ones supposed to do, simply don't bother.

Which begs the question, why the hell would I choose either of them? The mother who was confused and didn't know what to do about it? The one who was twelve years too late? Or the father that had turned into a cold corporate businessman who didn't care about anything but his business? It's as good as not having a parent anyway.

I am used to it but I don't want to be. I don't want to face this constant rejection.

Abomination. No one wants you. You are a disappointment. Freak.

All the words Mishka had once used on her screeched like a peck of leeches in her pounding head. A hand flew over her mouth and with a sudden wrench, she hunched over dry heaving. The nausea was close behind as she continued to do so for a few minutes. Currently, at her absolute low, it made sense. Even Ragini wouldn't want to deal with the mess that she is, let alone her parents. As the salty tears made their appearance, Ragini sighed angrily. How much more pathetic can I get?

She snuck out of the house with a simple note stating her gratitude for Sharma's help. It felt rude to wake the house occupants this late into the night. She would thank Miss Sharma in person tomorrow at school. Stuffing her cold hands into her jacket pockets, she began walking back home- house, to the house.

"Thank god you are back. I was worried sick." Sanjana came up behind Ragini. she released the breath she was holding since her daughter left the house.

Ragini jumped at the voice of her worried mother. She shut the door and faced her. In the dim lighting, she could see the frown lines on her forehead. "Why aren't you in bed?"

Sanjana ran a soothing hand on her daughter's back. "You weren't home. I couldn't possibly go to sleep."

Ragini raised a tired eyebrow at her. "Did it not occur to you to call me?"

"I don't have your new number,'' Sanjana admitted guiltily.

"Right. You won't need it anyway. There isn't time for you to call during your trips anyway."

"That is not true. I've missed you so much every time I am gone."

"You have a funny way of showing that," the pianist let out a rueful smile. "Actually, it's not your fault. Mishka was right. I am an abomination that no one should have to deal with. I am sorry for raining on your parade."

"Ragini Khanna, you are nothing of such. I don't ever want to hear you say that again. Do you understand?"

"No, and it's twelve years too late for this. Good night."

Sanjana held her wrist as she brushed past the older woman. "Have you decided who you want to stay with?"

Ragini faltered under the question. The truth is, she did. Whether they would feel the same was a different question. Ragini got her wrist out of her grasp. "Maybe."

"Have you had..."

"I am really tired. Good night, mom." she ran up the stairs and into her room before it could continue.

"Dinner," Sanjana sighed to herself and fell onto the couch. Popping open a bottle of champagne, she said into the dark night, "Good night, Mija."

A/N: 

I don't know who needs to hear this but I want to put it out either way. Parental neglect is a serious issue that can traumatise young children in unimaginable ways. to the children who have endured such pain, it is not your fault.

The topic shouldn't be treated lightly and so I apologise if I haven't done a good job of showcasing this. I am not a professional writer and honestly not sure of where I am going with this story. 

As always, feedback and criticism are welcome!