Chapter 3: Smoking mirrors

"Good morning Anjali, Adi." Ragini greeted as she cascaded down the steps, making her way into the den for breakfast. They returned the greeting and gave her a kiss on the head. "Breakfast looks good."

"I will never understand how you swallow that pathetic excuse we call food." Aditya made a face at the cereal Ragini was eagerly stuffing her face with. Never in his twenty years of marriage has he or Divya consumed that porridge-like meal. No matter how much his wife had forced them, the man simply refused. Divya had taken after her father.

"Unlike my younger daughter, I do not have the best insults lined up ready to be spurted out to argue with you. So have that conversation later with her."

"I'll keep that in mind, Aditya."

As the little family went about their normal routine, Ragini watched in admiration. Aditya reads the newspaper whilst discussing current affairs with them, breakfast and Anjali fusses over their eating habits whilst rushing around to get ready for the day.

Rohan and Sanjana were grown adults capable of making their own decisions and they did. They had gotten a divorce and parted ways. Rohan left the country to live his golden days and make a life of his own in the States. Willingly he signed off on all custody papers and gave up all his parental rights. Sanjana had stayed back and was trying to rebuild her relationship with her estranged daughter.

Ragini had made her peace with it. She liked things better now.

She bowed her head towards her cereal to hide the smile creeping onto her face. This was her little family, her parents; a safe haven. Here she was loved and cared for. She didn't need to worry about being left behind again.

But there was something missing. "Where is our beloved rock star anyway?" she questioned looking around the kitchen island. "I haven't seen her all morning."

Aditya followed her movements by scanning the room. "Same. maybe she's in her room. I'll go check.'' He set the paper aside and stood up to make his way to her room.

Ragini turned her attention to her mother who was frantically typing away on her phone. "You've been quiet all morning." She voiced her opinion.

"She's not answering," Anjali frowned, taking the phone away from her ear.

"Who?"

"It's way past the time she said."

"What do you mean?" the pianist asked, coming to put her bowl in the sink. She turned to the worried mother and gently pried the phone away from her. "Divi is not at home?"

Anjali wracked a hand through her untamed hair. "No, she woke up early this morning. Said she couldn't sleep and needed a breather. I figured she was home by now but since you haven't seen her I am not sure."

"She isn't in the room,'' Aditya announced when he returned to the ladies, gaining their attention.

"You guys don't worry. I know where she could have gone. I'm going to get her and we'll see you tonight."

"Drop me a text when you find that McNugget." Anjali requested with a hint of frustration her missing daughter. She would have gladly tied her to the bed if she kept scaring her like that.

"Do you want a ride?" her official father offered.

"Nope, I'll drive."

The parents' eyes widened at that prospect. "You are going to drive. By yourself. As in on your own?"

Ragini rolled her eyes at their petrified states. "Yes, I am by myself, on my own. Does no one have faith in my driving skills?"

"No. we do not have faith in your driving. Nobody has faith in a monkey that goes berserk while driving a car or any vehicle for that matter."

"I am not a monkey!"

"No, but your driving is equivalent to it. And we don't want a repeat of the Goa incident now do we? Poor rabbit almost died of a heart attack."

"For the last time, that rabbit wasn't following traffic rules. Why does it get a free pass and I don't?"

"Because the rabbit doesn't speak a language we understand and it did not attain a license after weeks of training. Not to mention, it's an animal!"

"That's not fair. Anjali helps me out here."

The father and daughter abruptly spun their heads at the chucking woman. "I am sorry honey but Adi is right. I won't trust you at the wheel as far as I can throw you."

"You're both traitors.'

"Sure." Aditya raised an amused eyebrow, glossing over her dramatic words.

Ragini huffed, trudging out of the room. "I am going to show you who's the best driver," she called on her way out. "And I don't wanna find out how far you can throw me."

"We don't either," Aditya pulled Anjali in for a side hug as they watched their oldest leave the house. "Your daughters are a handful," Aditya commented.

"They are yours too, walrus." she playfully punched his chest while they giggled.

"What a deadly combination they are. One can't drive to save her own life and the other drives like her life depends on it."

"Whatever it is. They are ours." his wife leaned into the hug and sighed in contentment.

"Indeed," Aditya agreed. He scrutinized his wife carefully. "What's bothering you?" he asked seemingly out of nowhere. They were married for more than a decade. He knew all her telltale signs but even then, it didn't take experience to understand that something was troubling the woman.

She gazed at him curiously before stating, "Divya. I think she is headed for a breakdown," They took a seat at the kitchen island and Anjali let her head drop in her hands. "I thought we had made progress all these years. She was opening up but it's like we're backtracking faster than a landslide."

"Maybe a little space would do both of you good. To take a breather and sort out your thoughts."

"Space is all there has been between us for the last couple of weeks turning into months. I don't want her to become that same old traumatized Divya who didn't know how to live her life again."

"I still think space is good," Aditya repeated as he rubbed her back in what he hoped was comfort.

Anjali brashly shrugged off his hand and stood up. "Are you not listening to me, Adi? I just said that space is all I've given her," she snapped. "I have no idea what's going on with her. What is upsetting her? Oh, and we had to find out from Mrs Malhotra that they stopped spreading terror in school!"

"You should be happy about that!"

"I am happy about that. But I shouldn't have to find out about it through a routine progress report by her principal. We don't even know the reason!"

"Look," Aditya raised his voice a little before taking a deep breath. He placed a hand on her shoulder. "Look, I am not oblivious to her behaviour but there have been a lot of things happening. Repeated trips to the hospital, a new teacher that seems to have a like poles attraction to her, the case and a new sister. It's a lot to handle for teenagers. We both know how volatile they can be."

"She and Ragini have always been sisters. That's not bothering her." Anjali retorted weakly shrinking further in her seat.

"Ragini was her sister figure. Now she actually is. Believe it or not, it does require some adjusting. It's like how we were in a relationship before marriage. Then we were boyfriend and girlfriend. After that, we were husband and wife. We had some adjusting to do too. "

Anjali rubbed her temples with her forefingers. She didn't want to argue with him and there was no way to deny what he was saying. The dynamics for all of them have changed. Subtly, hidden in the shadows. Even for Ragini herself, a little adjusting was required. It shouldn't be a big deal that her younger daughter who had always had warfare with emotions wasn't feeling well.

"I am sorry for snapping," Aditya rubbed her shoulder to let her know that he wasn't mad. "I just wished she would talk to me about this. I know my baby girl and I don't want to see her go through so much pain."

"Me too. But she is a teenager. it's her life and her decisions. We can guide her but not dictate how she deals with things even if it's difficult. She came around last time and she will this time again." he explained calmly.

"I hope you are right, Adi," she whispered. She was left desolate at the beginning of this whole ordeal. It wasn't pretty and there was no way she would relive it again.

He flashed her a reassuring smile and grabbed her hand. "How about you take the night off? Gather yourself and then talk to her tomorrow. I'll handle dinner."

"Thank you," she whispered, leaning her head on his shoulder. "I couldn't have asked for a more supportive life partner."

"That is true," he gloated with a smirk. "I am the most handsome man alive after all."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night."

"Hey, you just said..."

"That you are supportive. Not handsome. You look like a troll from the medieval times."

Aditya opened and closed his mouth like a fish a few times. "You...look like a female hulk."

"Hulk has a huge fandom. So I guess I'm famous. Thank you."

"No, that's not what I meant."

"Doesn't matter. You and I are getting late for work."

"I will settle the score."

"We'll see." she sang, pushing him out of the den.

---broken promises---

"Excuse me!" a panting voice startled the guitarist out of her trance. She whipped her body around to face the source. It turned out to be an ill-advised decision as her head bumped into someone else, leaving them to yelp in pain. "Oww. give the girl a warning next time." Drishti groaned, rubbing her forehead.

"Miss sorry soul, wear a bell the next time you decide to sneak up on someone so you don't scare the shit out of them and result in a headbutt,'' Divya replied, massaging her own head.

"This is my house. So the next time you show up at six in the morning, wear a resounding bell so I would know that it isn't a burglar sneaking in."

"Every time I think you have some sort of brain, you find a way to prove me wrong," Divya dripped patronizing pity. "No seriously. You have a decaying wasteland in the space that your brain is supposed to be."

"And you are a wild cat that is always ready to pounce on innocent passersby."

Divya rubbed her temples and looked at Drishti. She was swaying between pity and annoyance. "At Least cats have a sly brain that is smart enough to carve a plan before going for the kill, unlike your brainless body."

"Why are you here arguing with me at my house at six in the morning."

Divya shrugged her shoulders, the nonchalant expression taking over her features again. "You started it."

"Seriously, How?" Drishti gawked at her incredulously.

"Why the hell would a thief knock on the door?"

"I thought you were trying to break the door."

Divya clenched her fist. She sighed and shook her head. Breathe. The world simply has too many knuckle-headed people. "Please stop talking. It's giving me second-hand embarrassment."

"I am not a professional thief so how would I know how it's done? The thief may have been breaking the door and then using weapons to scare the occupants."

"You watch too many movies, miss sorry soul." Divya chided.

"Stop calling me that. My name is Drishti."

"I don't understand why I should be dignifying you with a name..." Her eyes widened momentarily and briskly, she surged forehead and bumped their heads again. The force and surprise were enough to send Drishti staggering a few feet backwards.

"Ow! What is wrong with you?!" she exclaimed and rubbed the spot she was sure was going to leave a bruise.

"When you bump your head with someone...you have to do it twice."

The class parent cocked an eyebrow at her fidgeting student. "Why?" she drawled patiently.

"Because," the student paused, looking hesitant to continue. "If you don't," she closed her eyes and said in one go. "You will grow horns and Jadu will be upset."

Drishti gaped at her before erupting into a fit of laughter. "I...am sorry but...horns. Really?"

"Shut up," Divya could feel a vein throbbing in her neck as she crossed her arms. "It's true."

"You do know that the actual superstition is that bad luck would follow you right? That or you will get into a dispute with the same person."

"Same difference."

The laughter was stifled into small giggles. "Horns I can get by but Jadu? Aliens aren't real."

Divya looked like she had been slapped across the face. "They are." she pressed, arms crossed in front of her chest, a show of blatant defiance.

"I've never seen them."

"Well, you are not someone important that they will waste precious fuel coming to meet you from outer space. Secondly, You can't see air either. That doesn't mean we're breathing weed and not getting high for some reason."

Drishti had a weird sense of Deja Vu. She stopped giggling and peered at the irritated guitarist. "Who shared these pearls of wisdom with you?"

"Science in middle school." her voice was laced with mockery.

"No, I mean," she rapidly blinked her eyes to stem the waterworks threatening to be released. "Who told you that you have to bump your head twice or the horns will grow."

"Bud- someone important used to tell me that," Divya answered vaguely.

Sarthak slapped the small notebook against his forehead as he stood between the aisles in the cold storage. He thinks he might explode with frustration. He wants to shout and beat his hands on the ground to show that he is serious. However, he doesn't want to say words he doesn't mean. It's easy to be cruel in that moment and then the damage is done. There have been so many times he's wanted to unsay things, take it back.

Besides, I am a fun parent, he giggled to himself.

"Girls," he says a little loudly over the communion they were making. His daughters, Drishti and Divya stop in their tracks, their pterodactyl-like screeches coming to a halt. They stared at him with big excited eyes. The customers around also decided to eavesdrop on the little conversation. He knelt down to their height holding out two chocolate bars. "I've got something for you."

Just as they were about to grab it, he snatched it out of sight. "Rude," Divya commented, standing on one leg.

"You can have it if you promise to behave yourselves till we get home. Can you do that?" he asked, waving the bars in front of them temptingly.

Drishti bobbed her head up and down enthusiastically. "Yes, Dad."

"No." the younger one replied.

"Yes, we will. Right, Divi?"

Divya shook her head stubbornly. "No." that was a three-year-old's favourite word, apparently.

"Erikson's psychosocial theory was right. The terrible twos and threes really love the word no." Sarthak mulled to himself. The sight that greeted him when he looked up again, left him sighing.

"Drishti, Divya stop running around,'' The kids paid no heed to his words, continuing their marathon around the store much to the dismay of other patrons who dove out of the way, barely escaping being trampled. "I am calling your mother," he announced. They then stopped dead in their tracks. It would've been a relief for the father if they didn't collide when they did so. "This is why we don't run around like barbarians in the shop."

"She started it." they chorused together pointing accusing fingers at their sibling.

Sarthak chuckled as a glare was exchanged. He grabbed their hands leading the little family into a quieter corner away from the peering eyes of other customers. "Bump your heads again."

"I beg your pardon," Drishti said.

"When you bump your heads once, you have to do it again."

"Why?" the three-year-old in the 'autonomy vs shame' stage asked.

Sathak scratched his head. His mother never actually told him and his sister why. She just said they had to and like the obedient children they were, it was done. No questions asked. He struggled to come out with a response and blurted out whatever came to mind before it would be filtered. "If not you will grow horns."

Drishti immediately pulled her sister by the arm and smashed their heads together only to get a hard shove from her. The older of the two didn't care and instead caressed her head to make sure no horns had grown. "I don't wanna grow horns. What if the kids laugh at me in school? Or I can't balance myself when walking. What if I can't tie my hair properly?"

"Weirdo," Divya mumbled. She was much more excited to have horns. "Dad, that would look so cool. I look like an alien. Jadu won't be so lonely then."

Sarthak mentally facepalmed at his daughter's excitement. "Jadu will be upset if you grow horns."

"Why?" she insisted.

"Because horns will be painful if they grow. Jadu wouldn't want his friend to be in pain would he?"

The child thought about it for a moment. "Okay," she said happily and they were back to running around seemingly having forgotten about the treat. Simple children and their simple logic. No malicious or nefarious intentions.

Drishti recoiled as a voice spoke right beside her ear. "Are you zoning out on me?"

"Jeez, personal space." Drishti admonished, backing away when Divya screeched right into her eye bringing her out of memory. She stared at the girl before her. Like the many other times she wondered if this girl was her sister, she chucked that possibility aside. It's just a coincidence. She mentioned Jadu before when we got lost in the jungle. Parents tell their kids that horns will grow because it's more kid-friendly. Just a coincidence. Besides, I will know when it's Divi. She will feel familiar. In a population of over a billion people, Drisht knew about the narrow Possibility of bumping into someone familiar. She just had to wait for that cosmic sign.

Little did she know that life didn't work like in the movies.

"I know it's one of those childish superstitions that kids eventually outgrow."

"Don't you think it's time to outgrow it then? I did at ten."

"Nope. keeps me close to that someone," Drishti nodded silently. It was then that her teacher's appearance caught her eye. Clad in sports attire and sweat, bending slightly to catch her breath. "Jogging in the morning. I do appreciate a healthy lifestyle." she preened.

"Thank you...I think," she added a second later. "Anyways, why are you here? School starts in a couple of hours."

Divya winced at the realization of why she was here in the first place. "I needed to talk to you."

"Let's take this inside. I don't want any peeping toms."

Divya nodded and stood behind Drishti, waiting for her to open the door. As she skimmed the walls outside, a particular drawing allured her. A simple blue colour head, similar to the alien from the movie 'koi mil Gaya. She scrunched her eyebrows in confusion. Why does that look so familiar?

Gingerly taking a couple of steps forward, she reached a hand out to trace the drawing, her head tilting to the side as she examined it closely.

"What are you doing Divi! Mom and Dad will kill us."

"Relax di. You're such a scary cat." four-year-old Divya muttered, sticking out her tongue in concentration. With her fine motor skills still developing, she managed to carve out a sloppy figure of her favourite movie character, Jadu, on the wall of the door. It looked more like an animated blob than anything else.

A little wince escaped her mouth as her head spun. It was as if someone was scraping at an open wound fighting an infection.

Drishti shook her head in disappointment. Her mother was going to be so mad later on when she returned from work. "You will be the one quivering in front of your bunny later. Don't come running to me then."

"I don't need to when my buddy is there. He will distract her and then I'll run to my room. By tomorrow morning she won't even remember.'' Divya grinned proudly like she had said the smartest thing in the world.

"You are absolutely hopeless." Drishti groaned, pulling at her hair. She tried to use a pail of water to clean the drawing up but her sister stubbornly stood in front of it. Attaching herself to the wall like a leech, refusing to allow her to get rid of her hard work.

"No!" she screamed suddenly causing Drishti to flinch and drop the keys that were in the lock.

"Jesus Divya! what?"

"No way," she shook her head defiantly. This...isn't true. Just a coincidence. Looking around wildly, she spotted a little park at the end of the street. "i-i will meet you at that park. Get changed...or whatever."

"You are very temperamental," she commented, bending down to pick up the keychain containing her keys.

Without letting her class parent get another word out she dashed to the park nearby. Her steps determined to make it there with the absence of faltering for a second in her stride.

Unbeknownst to her, she had taken a peek at the blocks where she once played catching with her sister and neighbourhood children.

Unbeknownst to her, she had in fact faltered momentarily at the estate's small chapel area which she used to visit every Sunday to pray with her mother after fetching Drishti to remedial sessions.

Unbeknownst to her, she had traversed across the void deck where the community members used to organize singing competitions that she would enthusiastically participate in and leave the audience mesmerized by her melodious histones.

Unbeknownst to her, she had walked on the pavement Sarthak had first taught her how to ride a bicycle on and she had laughed blissfully while he cheered his daughter on.

Unbeknownst to her, she had paused to take a breather by the oldest tree in the estate- the one she had childishly called the giving tree under which her sister and herself would seek refuge from the hot sunny day even though Drishti was afraid of its large branches.

Unbeknownst to her, she failed to recognise the basketball court that had been renovated over the years. The same court her sister and her would use chalks to vandalise with random scribbles that no one other than the two could understand.

The next few moments were a blur. Her head was whirring with the possibility she didn't want to put it into words. That would mean accepting it. If she went in and that place confirmed her doubts...she doesn't want to think about it.

"It's just a coincidence. Jaan mentioned that she has a sister, maybe she also likes Jadu. He is a cute creature. Yes, that's it,'' She repeated to herself like a mantra, willing the furious tide of speculation to settle down. "It's just a coincidence."

It took a moment to realize that she had reached the park in this area through a shortcut without much thought. As if she simply retraced her steps. That's not possible. I've never been to this area before. She swayed a little before a wave of tiredness seeped through her body. Gingerly sinking to her knees, she breathed erratically as her head spun even more with the countless possibilities of this reality.

She looked around the park, hoping the greenery would elevate some of the pain. However, the drumming in her head was tenfold and she grabbed at her head.

Blurred images of children running around the structure burned behind closed eyelids. Almost as if repressed memories were clawing at each other to come to the forefront of her mind. Her pupils were blown and her eyes were wide. Her face contorted in a painful grimace, clutching her head as the world spins, feet unsteady. Still, she continued chanting. "It's just a coincidence."

Even in her delirious state, she knew better than to kid herself.

The possibility of 'miss sorry soul' becoming 'Di' lurked around her, almost tangible.

Actuality and illusion fought like two puddles of water seeking to expand their borders without bumping into each other- slowly and sinister-like. When they intermingle, it causes the picture-perfect family built to crumple into several tiny pieces that are lost in the fabric of space and time. The swarm of deleterious emotions wreaks havoc inside her and she can't wield the word to command them. Her world is a confusing mess of emotional indifference and empathy. Choosing any side is a futile attempt to stem the waves of anguish.

The former was a ploy, an act that served the purpose of protecting herself. Its success comes with a price, one she paid with her mental health. It's a slowly decaying heart that takes the burnt.

The latter left her vulnerable to any oncoming arrow of hell fire.

You can't win this without finding the truth. That's her reality. One that she has been running from since the age of five. The subconscious belief is her frontier. Even that is becoming nothing but a fraying thread to an imagination she desperately clings onto.

There is no winner in this callous game of destiny. It pulled the strings and they swayed along like puppets struggling to keep up with its whims. 



A/N: Major writer's block in the way! Anyways, Don't forget to R&R!

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