✿

ONE PROBLEM HAD BEEN REPLACED with another. That problem was currently walking with Josie, where her arm was looped with Colin Bridgerton's.

Of course, the charade was continuing with Josie trying to keep a pleasant smile on her face, though it came more of a grimace with her teeth grinding together. Behind them, Clara and Violet walked together, where Josie made a mental note to pause soon so that Clara could rest.

"You seem happy today," Colin noted.

"I do?" Josie questioned.

"Happy like your usual self, at least," said Colin, flashing a pearly smile. "I hope it's not my company that's bringing you down."

"I'm sure we would both prefer to be doing anything else right now," Josie reminded him. "Our courtship has not completely helped us as I had hoped."

"That is true," Colin said. "Everyone suspects I'm to have my heart broken again. But you're free from my brother at least."

"But I'm now stuck with you," Josie reminded him.

Colin frowned at that. "Am I that bad?"

"You..."

Lost for words, Josie found herself pausing, completely clueless as to what she was supposed to say. Behind them, Clara and Violet paused too but carried on their conversation.

"Why is it you despise me so much?" Colin asked.

Josie forced herself to meet his stare, wishing that his usually dazzling eyes were not sparkling now with a soft sadness. It made Josie feel guilty, perhaps wishing that she hadn't promised to forever dislike him.

"I made a promise to myself years ago," Josie told him, offering him a snippet of the truth without revealing the true reason as to why – no one could know that. "That I would always dislike you."

"And you Sinclair's stick to your word," Colin finished, unimpressed. "Why promise such a thing?"

In her mind, that day came back like a ghost constantly haunting her. The day was supposed to be joyous, but those words she had heard had been enough to ruin the hopes and dreams of a young girl in love.

"Just leave it alone, Colin," Josie advised him.

"I can't," Colin said, sounding wounded like a hurt puppy. "The thought of you disliking me... it's been on my mind for years now. If I don't know what I have done, then how can I fix it?"

"There's nothing to fix," stated Josie, holding his stare as her heart thudded with wonder. "You should concentrate on finding a way out of this before we end up betrothed."

"I'm sure we'll figure something out," Colin reassured her. "Or you will at least. You always do."

Josie was concerned that her brother would truly force her down the aisle no matter what this time. Perhaps Colin was aware of that too, but Josie didn't bring the matter up any further as she was afraid. Somehow, Josie would find a way out – back to the world.

"I brought something to show you," Josie confessed, changing the conversation since they were still very early into their time together. To leave early would rouse suspicion. "We should sit anyway so Clara can rest."

"Oh, yes," Colin remembered.

They found a bench within the park and Clara and Violet found one close by too to continue chaperoning the two. Seeing Clara sit with her hand on her tummy eased Josie, where the dark-haired woman offered a warm smile in gratitude to her husband's sister.

"What did you want to show me?" Colin asked. "I imagine whatever it is, is in your basket as I wouldn't take you as one for a picnic in the park with me."

"You're lucky to get a walk," Josie reminded him.

"After all the walking we did in Greece, this seems normal," Colin confessed.

Josie hid her smile, smothering the memories deep, and then she pulled out a large book from her basket that piqued Colin's interest. As Josie showed him, Colin let out a laugh.

"What's funny?" Josie asked.

"Nothing," said Colin. "I should have suspected it had something to do with the world."

"I wanted to show you Iceland," Josie told him as she opened the atlas – a copy Freddie had given her for her birthday, which was thick with facts, always leaving Josie with constant wonder. "Since you seemed surprised the last time I mentioned the country."

"There's not a lot that surprises me with you," Colin confessed. "Show me the wonders of Iceland then. Why should we visit the island?"

Josie was caught up on the mention of we. In her mind, Clara's words came to mind as she thought about the possibility of having love and travel, but it was not possible. It would be foolish to let herself sink into any further feelings.

Sensing her silence, Colin's gaze shifted with his irises locking with Josie's. He seemed a little surprised himself, having not expected the we to roll off his tongue so easily. Glancing away, Josie shuffled awkwardly as she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, forcing herself to concentrate again.

"This is the Northern Lights," Josie began.

Colin leant closer, peering down at the page of the painted artwork, which Josie truly hoped was realistic. The swirls of greens, pinks, and blues made it seem more magical than anything – something that shouldn't exist, but it did.

"That's real?" Colin questioned.

"Nothing quite like Greece," Josie said.

"But you loved Greece," Colin pointed out.

"I do," said Josie, staring down at her book. "But there's so much more of the world to see."

"Perhaps I'll add Iceland to the list then," Colin said.

Back to I'll. Josie tried not to flinch at that either.

"There's more too," Josie told him. "But if you visit before me, Colin Bridgerton, then I will have every reason to hate you."

Colin laughed at that. "Perhaps I'll find you in Iceland next instead. The stars seem just as magical there as they did in Greece."

Josie caught his stare again as she found herself speechless. The sun was warm on her face – that was why her cheeks were rosy. But, at the softness of his stare, Josie had to remind herself for the hundredth time that she did not like Colin Bridgerton.

✿

Fortunately, the main focus seemed to be on the engagement between Antony and Edwina, but it still wasn't enough to diffuse the flames that Whistledown had ignited. Josie could feel the stares, along with the whispers.

But, thinking about Greece, Josie was not sure if she was tainted or not. That night had happened, so had Josie already ruined her life? Though, no one knew, and it was unspoken, so there should be no reason for Greece to be an issue.

"Ignore them, Josie," Freddie advised.

The two were currently walking towards the park, where a gathering was to take place. Colin had sent word, asking to meet with Josie to feed the ducks and perhaps go for a boat ride together, where Freddie was accompanying her for the day.

"I am," said Josie before she leaned closer to her brother, voice dropping to a whisper: "what exactly ruins a woman's innocence? Is it a kiss?"

"We're not having that conversation," Freddie decided but his head had turned, eyes narrowing at her as he analysed her poker face. "Unless, did Colin...?"

"Goodness no," Josie told him, but she was quick to look away with Freddie unsure what to believe from Greece. "I simply wonder from seeing Edward and Clara together."

"When you're married, then you will know," Freddie advised.

Josie frowned at that. "But it seems like something to know before I get married. What if I don't like it?"

"Josie," Freddie warned again. "We're not having this conversation."

That caused the blonde to sigh. "Maybe I should just ask Clara."

"And she would tell you the same," Freddie said before he cleared his throat. "Look, when you do get married, I'm, uh... sure Clara will tell you before the... it takes place."

It wasn't enough to satisfy Josie's curious mind, but she was used to always being shut down regarding the matter. Even away from home, Freddie had made sure that Josie was not exposed to things that a lady should not see or hear, but Josie did not understand why you had to be married to simply just know.

And it wasn't enough to encourage Josie to marry.

The conversation was dropped as the two headed to the park, where the crowds were already starting to gather. Josie helped Freddie with his painting supplies, where her brother was going to paint while keeping an eye on Josie and Colin.

"Do you know if Penelope is coming today?" Freddie asked.

That caused Josie to arch an eyebrow at her brother. "Penelope?"

"She wanted to see my artwork," Freddie said. "Benedict too."

Josie had a feeling that Benedict was simply added to make it seem like nothing since Freddie and Benedict were always showing their work to each other. While she wasn't sure if either were going to be there, Josie found herself becoming nosy.

"Penelope should be coming," Josie told her brother. "We were going to have tea together this afternoon with Eloise too."

"Well, if you see Penelope," said Freddie. "Let her know that I'm around here painting."

Josie smiled at that. "I shall do."

However, before she met up with Colin, Josie had another plan: the park was brewing with gossipers of the ton, so she wanted it to be known that she was there, talking with other gentlemen in the hope that she could showcase that she was still open to courting other men. It was a plan that Edward would not approve, but Freddie was chaperoning, so nothing would happen if she stayed within the public eye.

"Miss Sinclair."

Hearing that, Josie turned to find the voice belonged to Mary Benson's brother. Her childhood friends' brother had changed in the last few years, becoming dashingly handsome with a dark stubble of a beard and piercing green eyes.

"Mr Benson," said Josie, smiling warmly. "It's been a while."

"It certainly has," Jonathan replied. "You look radiant, Miss Sinclair."

"Josie, please," she insisted. "I've known you since we were children."

"Yes, I've watched you grow up," Jonathan agreed. "I never imagined that you and Mary would drift apart."

"We both want different things in life," Josie said. "But I do miss her."

"I know she misses you too," Jonathan reassured her.

That caused Josie's heart to warm, having wondered. Though, with Josie's questionable reputation, perhaps it was best that Mary found suitable friends of the ton – after all, to be married and popular had always been Mary's desire.

"Perhaps she wasn't the only one," Jonathan added.

Josie's head turned, studying Jonathan as she tried to keep a polite smile on her face. Could Jonathan be her way out? But then, she would just be jumping from one courtship to another until she was ruined. Though, she could perhaps use Jonathan to showcase that she was still open and not settled on Colin Bridgerton.

"I doubt you missed me, Jonathan," said Josie.

"Mayfair is quieter without you," the man confessed. "Infact, the whole of London."

Josie couldn't help but feel joyful about that. "Less scandals, I suppose."

"There's always scandals," Jonathan told her. "But, you know how to hold a conversation unlike the majority. You know, you haven't even faked fainting in this warmer weather yet around my presence."

"Why would I do that?" Josie questioned.

"For my attention," Jonathan reminded her, arrogantly.

"I believe I already had your attention to start with," Josie replied, finding a smug smile on her lips. "Though, I'm sure there's some poor lady here who is waiting to faint in your arms for your attention if that's what you desire."

"Oh, no," Jonathan said. "I much prefer our talk to that."

"And what would Mary think of you talking to me?" Josie questioned.

"Mary would be happy," said Jonathan. "You know she would be."

Josie almost let out a sigh, remembering her childhood with Mary's dreams of them being sisters. Though, thinking back to those simpler times, they had just been dreams.

"Perhaps I could join you today?" Jonathan offered.

"I had already promised the day with Mr Bridgerton," Josie told him, almost regretfully. "Perhaps another time."

"I shall call by then in the week," Jonathan smiled, not challenged by the threat of a Bridgerton at all. "I'll come with chocolates rather than flowers."

A smile broke out on Josie's face, having become rather bored of the numerous flowers that were just sitting around wasted. Though, as she agreed to Jonathan's plans, perhaps a little happy, her eyes found a familiar figure standing further back from them.

Colin Bridgerton was watching them intently. He was standing too far for Josie to read his expression, but she could easily tell that his posture was stiff as if he was angry – perhaps jealous.

As Josie bid farewell to Jonathan, she found herself walking over to Colin with a teasing grin playing on her rosy lips. Colin's eyes roamed from Jonathan, landing on Josie as she could tell the lightness of his eyes had darkened, laced with jealousy that she recognised from Greece.

"Colin Bridgerton, are you jealous that I was speaking to Mr Benson?" Josie questioned, finding it amusing more than anything.

"I can reassure you, I'm not jealous," Colin said rather quietly. "You can fake feelings for whoever you please, it does not bother me."

Josie pressed her lips together to prevent herself from laughing. "I do not bother you, Colin?"

At that, Colin fell silent. Josie's head tilted upwards, allowing her to study him further. There was still that darkness swirling within his gaze, but the longer she held his stare, the lighter they became again. The intensity of it was enough to tug on her heart, stirring feelings deep inside her that should remain buried.

"Clearly, I do bother you," Josie realised, a little shocked.

"Your disliking towards me bothers me," Colin told her, stepping closer so that the two would not be overheard. "I would like to change that."

"You can't," Josie told him.

Those hint of feelings that Josie felt extinguished with the reminder. With red cheeks, Josie looked away, hating that Colin was making things harder. It was easier to hate him.

"I can," Colin stated, sounding like a promise that only made Josie flinch. "I truly am sorry for whatever it is I have done to make you hate me. Is there anything else I can do?"

The apology caught Josie off guard as she looked up again, green eyes meeting blue. All Josie could think about was the stars in Greece, causing her heart to thump and the rosiness in her cheeks to burn brighter.

"If you could find a way for me to not have to marry and to return to travelling, then perhaps all will be forgiven," Josie suggested, not knowing if she meant the forgiving part.

Colin's upper lip twitched for a second before a let out a small laugh from amusement.

"I believe I would have better luck in finding Eloise a husband," Colin said.

Josie was not sure if that meant Colin thought they would be trapped into getting married or that she wouldn't be travelling again. Honestly, Josie was not sure which one was worse.

"Do you miss Greece?" Josie asked, surprising herself.

It was the country she missed.

"I do," Colin confessed.

"Then why did you leave?" Josie questioned. "You had the freedom to stay, and yet, here you are in London again."

It wasn't fair; Josie would do anything to be in Colin's position. If she had been born a man, then she would have seen the world by now – she would not have needed to return home nor depend on a man to accompany her travels.

Colin's face softened, perhaps enough to soften Josie's heart too.

"Because Greece was not the same after you left," Colin told her. "I missed you, Josie." 

Josie's breath caught tight in her chest, leaving her lost for words once again. In her chest, her heart cracked, starting to mourn for what had once been, but Josie had promised herself never again. 

✿

Bit surprised I've updated again but I'm still a sucker for Colin Bridgerton and the new season has only made it worse.