Reject's POV

Eventually the screams stopped.  I knew that they would eventually, but it was torture not knowing when that time would be.  When they disappeared I was left with only a slight ringing in my head.  I had felt tired so I slept for a few hours.

I was up in my room, my actual room.  I didn't really spend much time in here besides when I was sleeping.  I prefer my studio.

"Rae." Ashton knocked on my door, "You awake yet?"

"I'm up." I said and opened the door.

Ashton smiled, "Great.  Ready to talk?"

Talk.  I reached back in my memory, had he said anything about wanting to talk?

"You said we could talk about it after you woke up." He reminded me.

I nodded, "Okay.  Come in."  We sat on my bed.

"Let's get this out of the way first: What happened?"

Don't tell him.  If you tell him I will make everything so much worse for you.

"Panic attack." I said quickly, "It was a panic attack."

"Are you sure?" Ashton asked me, "You drew this."  He slipped a drawing on a canvasboard in front of me.  There were figures colored in black pencil and three words were written in red paint.  Scream.  Loud.  Pain.

"Rae, why did you make this?" Ashton's voice trembled slightly.  "Are you hurting?"

I shook my head, "I'm not hurting.  I'm fine.  It was just a panic attack and I was scared, that's all."

"If that's what you want to say it was, then I'll believe you." Ashton ran a hand through his hair, "I worry about you, kid."

"You don't have to worry," I told him, "I'll be okay."

"RAE!  ASHTON!" Calum shouted from downstairs, "WANNA COME TO THE STORE WITH US?"

"Are you coming?" I asked Ashton. 

He shook his head, "I've got an appointment.  You should still go.  You'll have lots of fun with Luke and Calum."

"Michael isn't coming?"  My heart sank.  If he wasn't coming then I'll be alone with only Calum and Luke.  Calum is a good guy, but I don't trust him quite as much as I trust Michael and Ashton.  Luke is a whole different story.  I don't trust him at all.

"Nope.  Michael is coming with me to my appointment." He scooted a little closer to me, "Calum would never hurt a fly, you know this.  As for Luke.... he's trying his best to appear friendly.  Give him a chance, okay?  He's trying really hard."

Michael's POV

"So, how have things been going?" Dr. Robinson asked us.

"Well, she talked."

"Really?" She looked interested, "When was that?"

"About a week ago," I said, "We were watching a movie and she sorta fell asleep.  So anyway, the rest of them went upstairs but I stayed down and I asked Rae if she was actually asleep and she said no."

"Interesting.  Is she talking to all of you guys?"

"I think so," Ashton turned to me, "Is she talking to Luke?"

I shook my head, "Probably not."

To be completely honest, I was still kind of pissed at Luke.  He was trying too hard and got impatient far too easily.

"Why won't she talk to Luke?" Dr. Lewis asked us and wrote some things down her notepad.

"We really don't know exactly why." Ashton explained, "I mean, in the beginning he had less bonding time with her.  She didn't spend as much time with him as she did with the rest of us.  But that was fine and they were getting along normally until that one night where she had the breakdown.  That was when we first brought up the idea that she might be schizophrenic."

"And Luke didn't respond well to that?"

I sighed, "No, not really.  He just kept insisting that she wasn't insane, that the agency wouldn't give us an insane kid.  But I think the thought of having a kid that is mentally ill kind of scared him, ya know?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Luke has always kind of believed in the stereotypes.  Schizophrenic people have always been viewed by society as crazy, so that's kind of what's in his mind.  Lately it's been like he's sort of been testing her.  Like one day he opened all the drawers and cabinets to see if she would walk through in front of them.  Obviously, she was very reluctant to do that.  It's like he's trying to give reasons to himself that she's just a normal kid." 

Once I had said it out loud it made much more sense.   He's putting her through all this just to give himself a reason to think that she isn't hearing voices or anything like that.  He's terrified of that possibility becoming reality, so he's trying to prove to himself that it's not true.

"That's a very good thought, Michael." Dr. Robinson said, "Is there anything you'd like to add, Ashton?"

He shook his head, "Nope.  I think Michael summed it up pretty well."

"Alright, then here's what I want to do." She folded her hands, "I want a meeting with both Luke and Rae.  Hopefully talking with them can help pick up the missing pieces."

"We don't want Rae to know that we're looking into this," Ashton quickly explained, "I don't want her to think that we're trying to 'fix' her or make her a different or something."

"Ashton, you came to me because you thought your daughter was schizophrenic.  I can't help her if I can't meet her."

Reject's POV

"Oh my God.  Look at all those balls."

There was a giant crate of neon colored bouncy balls in at the end of the aisle.  Like most things bright and shiny, this fascinated Luke.

"I'm gonna touch the balls."

"Please don't touch the balls," Calum pulled Luke back, "Half the fans already think you're gay and have written fanfiction about it."

"I'm gonna touch the balls." Luke repeated and went over to the crate.  He picked up a bright green one and tossed it in air.  "I like this ball."

Calum rolled his eyes and turned to me, "You still got that list?"

I nodded and held it up.  I still wasn't sure about talking in front of Calum.

"Awesome.  Let's see...the first thing is hair dye for Michael.  Why don't you pick that out?  It's in the next aisle over."

I went into the next aisle, which had a full rainbow of hair dyes.  Hmmm, what color should I pick?  He's already done all the normal colors by themselves, so he should do a combination of colors next.  I grabbed a bottle of pink and a bottle of black.  These should work.

I heard a crash from the other aisle.

"Shit!"

"Luke!  What the hell!"

I put the hair dye in the cart and then helped the boys pick up all like 5000000 cans that Luke had knocked off the shelf. 

"I swear to God," Calum mumbled, "Luke, you're a dumbass."

Luke shrugged, "I know.  But at least I'm an attractive one."

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hello frens :D

so who else watched atl's Missing You video and literally cried their eyes out?  i know i did.

thnks fr all the reads!!!!

don't forget to vote <3