Ashton's POV

Watching the three kids interact was beautiful.  None of them were biologically mine, but it was still beautiful either way.  Alex and Rae really did have the cutest relationship.  Seeing them interact was adorable.  Over-exuberant Alex  really helped my shy daughter be more comfortable.  As for Rain, she's a lot less anxious when she's with them.

It feels sort of like I have a family.  Maybe I don't have a wife or anything close to a normal life, but I do have a beautiful daughter that I'm proud to have raised for the past 6 months or so.  Rae has come so far from the terrified mute little girl that we first adopted.  She's more confident now, she talks to us.  There's nothing in the whole world that makes me feel better than that.

"You're Ashton, right?" I heard a woman say from behind me.  I turned around in my seat at the food court.

"Uh, yea.  I'm Ashton." I said cautiously.

"I'm Diana, Alex's half sister and caregiver." She introduced herself and sat down at the small table next to me.  How are they brother and sister?  Diana looked at least twice his age.

"Half sister?"

"We have the same mother." Diana explained, "So did Alex have a good time?"

"Diana!" Alex cheerfully bounced up to her, "I went to Hot Topic!"

"Hey Lex, could I talk with your sister privately for a few minutes?" I asked him, "Why don't you go help Luke and Calum pay for the food?"

Alex nodded and went over to the boys.  I turned back to Diana, "So are there any, uh triggers that we should now about Alex?  Such as collars?"

Diana's expression changed.  She put her head between her hands and took a deep breath.  I felt a little bad for asking, but I also need to know for the future.  I don't want to trigger him again

"Alex came from a horrific abuse situation." Diana started slowly, "My mother and my father had me when they were 16 and I lived with them until I was 8.  Then my parents charged with neglect and I was put in the foster system.  My mom got out of jail, got a different boyfriend, and had Alex when I was about 15.  They starved him, hit him, they even put a collar on him and tied him up."

"I-I'm so sorry." I stuttered.

Diana shrugged, "You don't have to apologize.  It's in the past, there's nothing you could have done.  There's actually a lot of things that will trigger him, but you guys really only need to know the two main things.  Collars and the name Peter.  Alex is his middle name, Peter is his first name but never call him that or he will go into a panic attack."

I looked back over at Alex and Rae.  Alex was showing Rae something, I couldn't quite see what it was but she was smiling a lot.

"I'm glad that those two met." Diana said, putting my exact feelings into words.  "We've been trying to find a way to get Alex to open up to us.  He used to be wary and anxious around people.  But ever since he met Rae his personality has been so much more balanced."

"Yeah." I agreed, "Same with Rae.  I can tell that she's been feeling a lot better too."

Reject's POV

"It's been a while since I've been inside one of these." Michael gently ran his fingers over the soft fabric that filled the store shelves.

"You bought dresses?"

"No, I'm not into that." He quickly explained, "I went here with a girlfriend a couple times.  God, it's been a while since I've had a girlfriend."

"Do you want to have a girlfriend?" I asked Michael and picked a dress off the rack.

The dress was white with a simple black sash around the waist.  Intricate swirling designs started at the right side of the dress and ended near the left shoulder.  I think I could feel comfortable wearing this in public.  I handed the dress to Michael, who was also holding a few other dresses that I was interested in trying on.

"Eh." Michael crinkled his nose, "It's not a priority to me.  I like hot girls, obviously, but it takes more than look so get me to fall in love ya know?"

I nodded, knowing exactly what he meant.

"So, are you going to try these on?" Michael handed me a couple dresses and opened the door to a dressing room.  "I'll look around for bracelets or necklaces or something."

I stepped inside the dressing room, securely locked he door, and tried on the first dress.  The first dress was simple in terms of design and made out of light blue fabric.  It cut off right above my knees.

You look ugly

I looked myself up and down in the mirror.  I don't think I look quite that bad.

You're too pale.  Your hair is too bright and nothing will ever match it.

Those words felt like little pins.  They penetrated the soft but thick wall I had built up to protect myself from the voice.  The tip of the pin was in.  It hurt, but not enough to make me completely break down.

You need a brighter color

I took off the blue dress and put on a bright red one.  This one had a slit running up the side and ruffles.

You look like a lobster

Another pin lodged itself into that wall.

You're never going to look good in anything.  Alex doesn't think you're pretty anyway, so it doesn't even matter.  The fans won't like you either.

I sat down on the small bench to catch my breath.  No I can't let them in.  Not now, please not now.

They're going to make fun of you and call you mean names.  The only reason the boys aren't doing it is because you have to live with them.  I bet they say things about you behind your back.

I tried on the last dress, the white and black one.  I looked in the mirror and smiled.  For a minute, I felt good in this dress.  It went about a little more than halfway down my legs and the fabric was nice and comfortable.

That one is the worst of all.  It makes you look like a slut.

Tears welled up in my eyes and I looked down at the ground.

"I don't look like a slut." I whispered.

Yes you do.  Sluts never realize that are one until someone else tells them.

I quickly shoved all the clothes in a pile, not bothering to take off the dress and put my original clothes on.  I went out of the dressing room and my head started to have a slight ache as it filled with more and more voices.

"Rae!" Michael's eyes lit up as soon as he saw me, "You look cu- Hey, what's wrong?"

I didn't answer him and sat on the ground, putting my head between my hands.

Fat

Ugly

Stupid

Whore

They weren't even full sentences now.  Just words repeated over and over.  It was like I was going on a carousel.  A horrible carousel. 

"Rae, is everything okay?  What's happening?" Michael wrapped his arm around my shoulders, "Wait, what are these?  Why do you have scars on your shoulders?"

I lifted my head up.  I had forgotten about my scars.  They were from before I went to the hospital, it was from when the voice had made me harm myself with a razor.  The scars had faded a lot but were still visible.

"They're from a while ago." I explained, "Like, from before I went to the hospital.  I don't do it anymore."

"Rae, why didn't you tell us?" Michael's voice cracked.

I leaned my head back, letting it rest on the wall so that my eyes were tipped towards the ceiling.  Then it dawned on me.  He was upset that I hurt myself.  I don't understand that.  It's not like I'm hurting him.  I'm the only one getting hurt.

"Here Rae, let me show you something." Michael pulled back the bracelets on his left wrist to reveal three horizontal scars.  "I did it too." He said softly.

"Don't." I said quickly and put my hand over his wrist, "Don't hurt yourself."

It was then that I understood.  When I cut myself it hurt him, and he cut himself it hurt me.  I remembered back to when I first found out about Michael's demons.  It was that day that we were both home alone.  Are his demons getting stronger?

"I've been seeing a therapist for a little while." Michael explained, "I'm getting better.  It's okay, I don't do this anymore."  He looked over at me, "Are your voices back?  Is that why you were upset?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

"What did they say?"

"That I'm a slut and I'm ugly and all of you just pretend to like me." As soon as I said it another slew of insults entered my brain.

You shouldn't have told him that

You're the reason he cuts.  You've stressed him out.

You should just jump from that bridge again

"You are not a slut." Michael said firmly, "No one is a slut.  Slut is a just a stupid word used to tear people down.  Fuck that voice, you're amazing and I love you.  You look amazing in that dress.  The public is gonna love you."

I stood up and brushed myself off.  The voice was quieter now and easier to tune out.  I smiled.  I really do like this dress.

"Why don't you change back into your normal clothes and we can go buy this dress." Michael offered and got to his feet, "Then we can go meet the rest of the gang and get some ice cream or something."

I quickly stood on my tiptoes and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Alright, big brother."

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serfgyuhjihji i am literally exploding with feels right now

i'm so proud of my smol daughter and michael like oh my god they've come so far