I walk down the cafeteria with a tray full of food. I go to sit at my old table when I see Jillian, Spencer Two-bit, Ponyboy, Johnny, Steve, and Virginia. I'm all alone now and I have nobody in my corner. I storm past the greaser throwing out my food and looking back to see all eyes on me. I look down to see I have my drug purse. I walk over to them dumping my purse out, "I'm not on anything! I swear! I'm not that stupid! So stop looking at me like I am!"

Jilly takes a deep breathe, "Lace-"

"STOP!" I scream loudly. "STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! Stop trying to make everything better! It's not gonna work! I lost everything and all of ya'll just watched! You guys are watching as I break and I need ya'll to stop! I'm not drunk or high or anything! So STOP!"

I can see the tears building behind Spencer's eyes, "Lacey, please just sit down!"

I scoff, "not with ya'll!"

I run out of the lunch room as everybody stares at me all of my belongings still on the table. I storm into the bathroom to see a group of girls. The one girl chuckles as she leans over, "she's an addict girls, we should leave before she goes crazy."

The other girls laugh and they all walk out. I go into a stall as I can't hold my tears back anymore. "Lacey," I hear a soft familiar voice.

I sniffle slightly holding back sobs as I cover my mouth trying to make a sound.

I can hear every footstep as if I'm in one of this cliche movies. I look down to see two shoes in front of my stall...

Knock

Knock

Knock

"Lacey, it's Jilly. Spencer ran out of the lunch room after you did, but just listen to my voice like you have a million times before. I know things seem rough with everything going on right now and they are. I mean you love him and you feel as if everybody is turning on you, but believe me when I tell you I'm here for you. When we first met and we were busting Soda's balls, I knew we'd be close and now we are. I don't ever want to loose you. I want you to hear when I talk and believe me when I say, I care about you and I love you like a sister. So please, come out and let me see you," she speaks softly into the stall.

I cover my mouth still trying not to make a sound, trying not to let Jilly know I'm here even though I know, she does know I'm here.

She sighs, "Lacey, I know you're hurt, but please don't leave me. I can't imagine my life without you. I know in tens years from now I want you in my life and I love you. I don't want you to leave and I don't want you gone. I don't want to one day look back and hope you're doing okay, wondering what will happen if we would have just talked one day in the high school bathroom after you broke down because, you were going through something. I don't want to wonder where we'd be if everything just worked out."

I take a step forward, but don't let my guard down let.

"Please," she says her voice cracking and I can tell she's crying now too. "I can't loose you Lacey, not again."

I take a deep breathe as I walk out of the stall throwing myself into her arms as I sob, "oh my god Jillian!"

She takes a deep breathe as she cries softly holding me, "I got you. Oh my god, Lacey. You're gonna be okay."

I shake my head as I sob so loudly it sounds like I'm screaming. My whole body is shaking and I can feel my legs giving out as all my weight is getting held up by Jilly who I can tell is scared and I can almost see her heart breaking. "Everything has changed Jillian and I don't know what to do! I have nobody in my corner! I am not okay Jillian and I am all alone."

She shakes her head as she grabs my hand, "lets go eat lunch around all the people who care about you."

"Looking like this?" I ask wiping the last of my tears.

"You look perfect," she smiles as she leads me out into the hallway. 

I sit down at the lunch table nervously, but Steve looks over at e and smiles, "we've missed ya Lace and Dally has been so upset."

Johnny looks up at my shyly, "how are ya Lace?"

"Good...now," I say as I look around at all my friends. "It hasn't been easy, but I made it." 

"So, ya staying sober?" Steve asks as he eats his food. I turn to look at him along with the rest of the table and he looks up releasing what he said, "I-I..I didn't mean that Lace, I'm sorry. I just wan-"

I shake my head, "no Steve, I understand and this is new for all of us, but ya'll are allowed to ask me about stuff. I'm staying sober which is hard especially now that I'm back and everything that's going on doesn't make it any easier, but I'm sober. Does anybody else wanna know anything because, I'm okay with answering questions?"

Jilly looks over at me before asking shyly clearly unsure of what she's about to ask, but she ends up asking anyway, "do you regret it? Like going to rehab and stuff. Do you wish you would of just stayed in that state? Or do you wish you would of never tried it in the first place?"

I chuckle slightly as I look at her, "I know I shouldn't be laughing and I'm not laughing at the question, just myself. When I think of regret I think taking something back. Although I wouldn't take anything back because, it's taught me stuff. The only thing I regret is loosing Sodapop. Do I wish I had never tried it, yes, but I don't regret it. Regret.....It's a funny thing."

Well yeah. Stay gold. Do it for Johnny!

-Beth