"I have to go," I grab my purse.

Soda grabs my arm, "Lacey please wait."

"WHAT?" I scream. 

"We need to talk," he pleads.

I shake my head, "I have nothing to say."

He looks down, "why do you keep fucking up?"

"What?" I ask him walking over to him. "Why would you even say that? Are you stupid or something? I am not fucking everything up that's you! I'm out of here!"

"LACEY!" He screams as I grab my purse and storm off.

"No Sodapop! Just no! I don't want to talk to you or know you! I am so tired of constantly getting hurt by people! Can't you see Sodapop? I don't love you!"

"Are you drunk?" He asks me fighting back tears.

I roll my eyes as I storm away from him.
***
"Lacey," I hear a soft voice as I get shaken roughly back and forth.

"If you don't stop shaking me I'm gonna puke," I speak as I sit up looking around at all the empty beer bottles. "What happened?"

He shrugs, "you got home and started drinking and popping pills."

I look away from him and sigh, "what happened to me?"

He takes a slow deep steady breathe, "Lacey, you need help."

"No I don't!" I sigh as I grab of pain killers, but he rips the small bottle out of my hand. "Hey! Those are mine!"

"This is an addiction," he throws them out as he pulls my drug purse away from me. "How much stuff is in here?"

"It's nothing," I speak slowly. 

 He walks over to my purse dumping out everything minus my wallet, "you need help and you need another place to stay....Not for good, just for tomorrow night so I know you can stay sober for a night, unlike you are right now."

I look away from him then back over never fully meeting his glare, "fine. Although if that's the case, I'm getting wasted tonight just one last time."

"Please stay here," John begs.

I shake my head as I storm out of the house, "I just need some time alone John! I won't get drunk. I need to talk to somebody."
***
I stand outside Buck's house in the freezing cold as the mid-December wind hits me like a brick wall. I shake slightly as I knock on the door. I've partied here a few times and I know Dally used to, I'm not sure if he still does because, Spencer "changed" him. You can't change a guy, they'll never change from who they are into what you want. That's not life.

Buck walks over to the door and cocks his head to the side, "Lace, there's no party tonight, but there is one tomorrow."

"I know," I whisper. "Can I crash?"

"Of course," he moves out of the way letting me in. "Want a beer?"

I nod my head slightly, "I'd love some."

He smiles as he hands me an open bottle, "uh Dally and Spencer are upstairs, so you can sleep in my room and I'll sleep down here." 

"Right now?" I ask and he nods his head slightly. "I'll be right back."

I walk over to the stairs and slowly walk upstairs. My arms tremble as I slowly knock on the door. I can feel the pressure in the hallway as I struggle to breathe. Seconds feel like hours as I wait until the door swings open exposing Dally standing there and Spencer giggling on the bed. I take a deep breathe before talking, "hey...."

I don't know if he's pissed, hurt, confused, all three, or something else as I wait for him to talk, but he just stares at me as if I have ten heads, "Dallas?"

"Lacey," is the first thing he says and you can literally feel the intensity and the tension in the room as we stare at each other. "Does Soda know your okay?"

I shake my head, "I'm not okay. I came here to get drunk one last time, but I'm going to rehab tomorrow because, I really messed up and I cut off the people who mean the most to me."

He nods his head as this sad feeling appears on his face, "I'm sorry this all happened to you. It really shouldn't of."

I sigh as I look away, "I guess people just did a good enough job of fucking me up and now I'm here. So...I don't know what I'm going to do or how I'm gonna get through this Dally. I have nobody anymore because, the few people who actually cared I pushed them all away Dal. I am a terrible person and you all should hate me, especially Soda."

Dally pulls me into a hug, "that day at the hospital, I could see it in your eyes, you were broken and not just because of Sodapop fighting for his life. You weren't okay and instead of understanding I got pissed, I couldn't help, but feel like it was my fau-"

"No, Dally! It wasn't and please don't think like that," I cut him off. "It was my fault. I know I have a problem, yet when something happened, I turned back to the same thing that caused me to get addicted, one sip of vodka turned to a whole bottle then I found heroine and weed and pills, then I snorted a few times."

"I'm sorry,"  I hear Spencer whisper.

I look back at her knowing both her and Jilly are the ones who got the most hurt. They're the ones who are pissed at me the most because, I had them the first few days, but then I took that one sip and I freaked out on them. It wasn't because, I wanted them gone, it was because, I wanted to drink, but I didn't want them to see me drinking. I look back at her tears on the brim of my eyes as I breathe slowly, "Spencer can we talk?"

She nods her head as we walk outside the house. She looks at me and I can tell she doesn't know what to say. She ends up just starting with a simple, "how are you?"

"Not good," I chuckle my voice cracking. "I am so not okay at all and I don't know how I'm gonna fix everything because, I broke everything I care about and didn't even think about it. I was so busy finding ways to get drunk or high that I became numb. Although every time that high was gone, I would just fall and become broken again making me want more, need more and I was stupid enough to do it again and again."

"Are you gonna be okay?" Spencer asks me.

"I will be eventually," I look away. "I get to leave rehab for two days this month, uh Christmas eve and day. I'll be in rehab for three months then I get to leave and come back home. I'm leaving tomorrow morning."

A few tears drip down her cheeks, "I am so sorry Lacey, I never knew you were hurting so much."

I shake my head, "that's not on you though, that's on me for shutting you out and not telling you. I don't know what happened."

She pulls me into a hug, "I can't wait until Christmas because,  I'm gonna miss you so much Lacey and I love you."

"I love you too," I smile as tears pound down my already red puffy cheeks. "You know Spence, this right here makes everything worth it because, having somebody like you in my life is such an honer and I've never has somebody give me a second chance because, most of the time it was them who just walked out, but now I have you. Somebody who actually loves me and that's enough to keep me away from my addiction."

She sniffles slightly, "will you stop making cry?"

"I gotta go talk to Jilly, I'm sorry that I have to leave, but it's now it never," I hug her. "I'll see you either tonight or tomorrow before I leave. I love you Spence."

"I love you too," she smiles

Awe! This chapter is so cute! Stay gold. Do it for Johnny!

-Beth