"I love you," I whisper into Soda's ear even though I know I won't get a response, I haven't in days. "I'm gonna go to bed if you wake up and need me, just wake me up."

I hear the door open and close behind whoever walked in, "still waiting for that hello hug Lace..."

I turn around to see Dally for the first time since I've gotten back, "I'll give it to you later. Right now I'm going to sleep."

He sighs as he sits next to me, "Lacey, you can't just keep living here in the hospital. You can't keep eating this shitty hospital food. You have to come home. You need more sleep. Lace, I know this is hard for you, but your dad's sick too and every moment you spend here, you're missing with your dad. Soda's gonna wake up believe me."

"If it wasn't for that stupid fight," I mumble.

"What fight?" He asks.

A tear or two finds a way to slip out of my eye, "we got into a fight before he left. It was about being official. We've said we love each other, but putting a label on it, completely changes it. I think he's afraid, but I was so pissed."

Dally sighs as he pulls me into a hug, "I really hate when people make me soft, you know that Lace?"

I roll my eyes as I push him off me, "then don't be soft! Be a dick like I know you want to be and stop! I'm not broken glass! I am a human! Yes this last year sucked ass, but seriously no! Fuck you! I don't need any of this!"

"Fine than I just won't help you," he scoffs.

"I don't need your help Dallas!" I scream at him loudly. "I am tired of everybody trying to help me! Stepping around me! Pulling the whole 'I just wanted to help' shit. I don't need help! I need to stop loosing the people I care most about. This last year I met a great girl named Bella. We were best friend right off the bat. Everything was perfect then she replaced me because, I'm replaceable! Even the gang replaced me. I am tired of getting replaced! I am tired of getting left behind or loosing people I love! I am tired of getting hurt!"

Dally flips me off, "nobody replaced you! You're a bitch! We are all broken!"

"Fuck you Dallas Winston!" I scream down the hallway as he storms away.

I sit down in the chair tears streaming down my face. This is all my fault. I just wanted to be official because, I'm in love with Soda. I don't only love him the way I love Dally or Pony, I'm in love with him. I want to spend every day of my life with him and the thought of loosing him, is just heart breaking. I can't loose him because, without him, I don't know what I'd do. I slowly dose off into a restless sleep.
***
"Lacey?" I hear a soft voice.

I wake up swiftly shooting up asking, "Sodapop?"

"No, it's just me," Darry sighs as he sits next to me. "Are you okay kid? You've been scaring me lately. You've been on edge, jumpy, shaky, and you're always shivering, but it's eighty degrees in this room. Lacey, what happened when you were away?"

"Here's to loosing the people who mean the fucking most to you! Here's to a fucked up life and getting messed up!" I shout before sticking the long needle into my already bruised arm. I feel the drugs pumping through my body and there's an immediate relief.

"Lacey?" Brian walks over to me grabbing my waist. I giggle as he pulls me close to him making me almost fall. "How much have you had?"

I shrug giggling slightly, "I'd tell you, but I don't know."

He grabs my hand pulling me onto a couch, "Lacey, come sit."

"If you don't stop spinning me around, I'm gonna puke," I slur. "Why are we running? I can't run, I'm in heels."

"You're in flats," he tells me.

I look down at my distorted feet, "no, those are heels. How much have you had Robert?"

"It's Brian," he speaks softly.

I shake my head for a second then put it in my hand as it pounds, "it's Robert, who's Brian?"

He sighs as he pulls me onto his lap, "you're boyfriend."

"Oh that Brian," I mutter as I start closing my eyes.

"Stay with me!" He slaps me because, he's annoying.

"Get off me," I pull away from him. "I need to take shots."

I sigh tears building in my eyes, "it was just a bad year this past year and I did some really stupid shit. I didn't do anything though Darry."

"I'm not gonna judge," he speaks softly.

I look down at the floor putting my head in my hands as tears stream down my cheeks. I sob loudly, "I can't do this Darry! I didn't do anything! Okay? It was just a bad year!"

"Bye dad," I hug him for the last time in the airport. "I love you."

He kisses my cheeks, "I love you too kiddo and I'll see you soon."

I sigh closing my eyes before opening them and looking away trying not to cry, "promise?"

He makes me look at him in his eyes, "you're my daughter and I'll always find a way to you, until my last breathe. Although, I got to go back home."

I nod my head as I watch him walk away. I sigh walking over to the nearest phone booth and calling Brian. (B-Brian L-Lacey)

B-Hello?

L-Hey Brian, it's Lacey?

B-I've been waiting for you.

L-Whens the next party and can I come?

B-*chuckles* do you really need to ask?

L-Thanks Brian.

B-See you in a few hours sweetie.
***
I grab a drink and walk into the bathroom with a purse full of pills. As I enter the bathroom I look around to see needles scattered on the floor making you be careful where you step. Pill bottles that were carelessly knocked over and split then left. I run my hand through a white dusty powder until my finger turns white. I wipe it slightly under my nose and sniff , then wash off my hand before I get hooked again. Weed thrown on the floor and broken glasses. The smell of alcohol and weed fills my nose, but I'm calmed by the comforting smells.

I look up at myself in the mirror, but I don't recognize myself. The light in my eyes has gone out, my blonde hair falls messily around my tired looking face. My eyes droop down and I look at if I'm older. My hands are shaky as they sweat, but feel oddly cold. My eyes are blood shot and teary. I sniff trying to get my nose to stop running. I always cough and sniff. I'm always tired, but I'm also unusually hyper at times. My face is constantly bloated and pale. I've grown a nervous twitch and I rub my nose more than usual. I've lost mass amounts of weight, but that could also be because of my lack of eating.

When I first started using I used have to take the littlest bit and get an instant high, but now I have to take more than one or two needles, snort more than I used than (when I was on it), take more than three of four pills. The more I take the better I feel. It's like everything just subsides into nothing.

I reach into my purse and find an old bag of cocaine. My whole body starts to tremble as I stare at the small bag. It's just enough to get high. A few tears roll down my cheeks as I can feel my addiction taking over. I quickly make a small line and snort it. I look in the mirror find white rings of powder around my nose I immediately start sniffing and wiping my nose as I get taken away into a high.

"I never said you did anything," Darry rubs my back.

"I just lost a lot of people!" I scream. "I can't stand it Darry! I've lost everybody and I can't loose Soda too! I'm already loosing my dad who just came back into my fucking life! I can't do this Darry! I have to go!"

"LACEY!" He screams at me grabbing my wrist and pulling me back into the room. "What happened when you were gone?"

"NOTHING!" I scream back at him as loud as I can. "I just lost some people and nobody in the gang was there for me like all of you promised so I'm sorry if I'm not letting you in, but I'm so tired of getting hurt! Just let me go Darry!"

He lets go of my and sighs as I storm out of the hospital. I walk down the streets of Tulsa sobbing until I find a phone. I pull out the number Brian gave me staring into my old purse I never cleaned out. I look down at my arm seeing two need bruises with little puncture wholes. I pull out some weird light blue pill popping it into my mouth as I dial the number. (U-unknown L-Lacey)

U-Who's this?

L-I'm Lacey, Brian told me to call you once I got into Tulsa. I used to party with him.

U-Hmmm, sounds sweet. Listen the rules to coming to my party is you have to bring something for people to have fun with.

L-I got a whole purse full on me right now.

U-Are you high?

L-Just a little bit.

U-I like you already Lacey, my next party is Friday night and it starts at ten sharp, be there.

L-I will.

U-Perfect.

The phone goes dead and I stumble around Tulsa taking pill after pill until I loose count.

Okay, so you got a little insight into the past and this is honestly where the drama starts. So I'm like super excited! Stay gold. Do it for Johnny!
-Beth