That "Happy Birthday" meant the world to me. It might not have meant as much coming from others, but it meant the world to me. We were having a bit of our usual "conflicts", and by that I mean fighting about who our favourite character for a movie is, and Isaac comes up in conversation.

I continue to try and talk, trying to hold the topic onto the movie when Isaac comes up again, and I tease her about how he might like her. We weren't really a couple, still the same as before, but when Emily said she might ask him if he likes her, I told her that whatever he replies, she shouldn't tell me.

And so she asked. I tried to keep the topic away from Isaac, trying to avoid the inevitable moment when she would ask me if I wanted to know. Curiosity was a danger for me, and alongside how I can't say no to her, I surrendered, saying I would give up trying to hide anything.

She told me that he did like her, it didn't really affect me if it weren't for the fact that they kissed. That sent me quickly to tears, hoping that she was simply teasing, but when she said "sorry" I couldn't hold that belief anymore.

It broke me, and I was kinda surprised too. I was just hoping it was simply a joke, especially since it was my birthday, but it seemed like a terrible joke to play on someone.

I couldn't believe it happened, but the way she acted seemed like she cared more for him than me. I couldn't tell if she really liked me anymore, even asking her if she ever even liked me turned into her uncertain answer, "I don't know".

I fell as low as I could go, a promise to never do anything as stupid as to kill myself was the only thing keeping me alive. She may not have cared about my promises, but I did. Even if she didn't like me, I held my promise to keep myself from doing anything stupid. Maybe that was just an excuse but I really did want to die.

I wonder, was it really worth it to fall for her? To let her leave me broken hearted?

Whichever it was, I was happy for her. I did say that I wanted her to be happy, and I meant it. Our root didn't grow into a beautiful tree, but at least she doesn't have to suffer as much as me.

And to Emily: Thanks for the birthday gift, I never thought I'd get a broken heart as a present.