"Hey Joshua?"

Said boy turned his head towards me, letting his hair gently sway in the breeze. His legs hung off the edge of the roof of 104 as I sat with my legs crossed on the edge, just near him. "Yes dear?"

"I know that this probably isn't my place to ask, but, what happened in your past? You mentioned last night that you know what it's like to have someone you love die," I said, before instantly coming to the conclusion that I shouldn't ask.

Curiosity killed the cat as they say.

I regretted the moment those words left my lips as Joshua turned his head away from me and stared down at the Scramble Crossing, watching the citizens of Shibuya move without a care for the others in their presence. His lips were pressed firmly together in a straight line as his eyes became unreadable. His hands gripped the edge of the roof for a split-second before the tension in his entire body vanished, his violet eyes were slightly dull. His entire demeanor became slightly monochrome and I felt the impact of his emotions on the streets of Shibuya. Everyone down there now had a dimmer aura surrounding them, before Joshua shook his head and they returned to their usual state. The citizens of Shibuya followed the Composer's feelings, or rather, the Composer's emotions.

"There's nothing of my past that is worth mentioning here," Joshua said, crossing his arms as the people moving about below him became suddenly more interesting. I knew that I was crossing boundaries asking him about this, but I felt like he could give me some sort of detail from his past. After all, he does know a lot about who I am, and on top of that, has met my parents before they passed away to Nikolai's hand. His whereabouts were still unknown, much to my dismay. He deserved to pay for what he had done to everyone he caused harm.

"But you know more about me than I know about you. I just... I just want at least a glimpse into what you see, what you hear, and what you've faced," I said, leaning forward to place a hand on Joshua's shoulder. He instantly shook it off and my lips turned downwards in a frown as an unfamiliar feeling struck my heart. Hurt, perhaps?

"There's no point to this conversation (Y/n)," Joshua said, devoid of any emotion, He stood up on the ledge of the building, still staring down at the people and observing their daily lives. He refused to meet my gaze as I stood up, glancing to the side, feeling my legs go weak at the knees. Brushing off the feeling, I found the courage to turn back towards Joshua, who hadn't moved a muscle. It was clear that he didn't want this topic to be brought up or even mentioned but he avoids it day and night, and I finally thought to myself how much I truly knew about Joshua.

Not much.

"Please Joshua," I begged. "You keep all of your emotions and everything else hidden away behind a wall that you put up, and you know as well as I do that that's not healthy. You emotions will just keep piling up until you explode. I get that you distance yourself for a reason, but people know that we're close already. It's not like anyone else will know. Come on Joshua... Don't you trust me?" Joshua went silent for a minute and I figured I already had my answer from that silence.

"(Y/n) just drop the conversation. It's rather dull for what you usually converse about."

"Joshua c-"

"(Y/n)." I knew I was pushing it, but t was as if my body and mind had a brain of their own. We continued to argue back and forth about his past and him actually telling me anything about it until I snapped. Things between us were getting heated with each second that passed as the anger could probably be felt from both of us for miles if you were some supernatural entity. I wouldn't even be surprised if we were attracting the Noise's attention, and that was making our moods even more sour.

"Joshua! I can't stand to see you stand alone like that-"

"You're standing too you know," Joshua interrupted. I ignored his statement, feeling my own emotions start to overflow from the annoyance I kept pent-up at Joshua's vague responses and his cunning ability to dodge nearly any question thrown at him.

"-The closer I move towards you, the farther that you walk away!" I took in a deep breath to try and calm myself down. Getting angry wouldn't help my situation.

And neither would pestering Joshua but I'm doing it anyway right?

"And? I didn't realize I left my own care in someone else's hands. I've been fine on my own. You and Mr. H both need to realize that. I didn't realize that Angels were so nosy," Joshua commented, crossing his arms as he closed his eyes, deep in thought. I was dumbfounded for a moment.

"Angels? Did you just bring an entire race into question?" I asked, thinking about Solaris and the other Angels who weren't horrible people like it seemed Joshua was implying.

"What if I did? Are you going to do anything about it? No? Figured as much. Wouldn't expect anything else from you," Joshua said. His fingers drummed against his arm in annoyance and I groaned and crossed my own arms, throwing my head to the side.

"What is the matter with you? You don't act like this," I said.

"And neither do you. You're more nosy than normal-"

"So you're saying that I'm nosy anyways? Seriously, is something wrong about asking about asking about your past or something?"

"You already know the answer. Now, I should be going." Joshua turned to leave the rooftop we were on but I grabbed his arm before he could get any further.

"Hang on! Am I annoying to be around? Actually, are we even friends still? You seem like you've had that annoyance and anger towards me in you for awhile," I said, feeling it radiate off of Joshua in waves. Joshua ripped his arm away from my grip with so much strength I nearly was thrown over from the force. He huffed in anger as he flipped a piece of hair out of his face.

"Is it not obvious enough?! I can't handle it anymore! I am sick of being forced to keep my emotions hidden like this but only you could drive me to the breaking point!" Joshua instantly flinched from the harshness of his own words as regret filled his features. He reached out but I slapped his hand away as I let out a single breath, that spoke more words than I would say in a lifetime.

"... I see. I get that it wasn't my place to ask about your past beforehand, but now I know that it never was," I said.

"Wait, (Y/n), you know-"

"I know what you were feeling towards me now. You know, I was planning on making a visit to her anyway."

"Her?" I turned on my heel and left Joshua as I walked to the backside of the building and stepped off, before changing my frequency so suddenly that even I was thrown back from the forcefulness of it. I was never this unorganized about my frequency and was cautious about not letting any hint that I changed into another plane get into the UG or even the RG, since a sudden frequency change gave anyone in the vicinity a chill throughout their body. My body felt lighter as it lifted above me as I changed into the Higher Plane, feeling my wings appear from behind my body, adding more weight to me. I walked towards the one place where I knew I could vent and eventually found myself at Solaris's doorstep, ringing her doorbell with the push of my finger. I blinked back tears as I remembered the argument with Joshua get even more heated at some point, and it was all my fault, again.

If I hadn't brought up Joshua's past, then we wouldn't have argued.

If I hadn't been kidnapped, Joshua would never have gotten hurt.

If I hadn't existed, Joshua wouldn't be in this mess.

The door in front of me opened to reveal Solaris, who looked as if she had just rolled out of bed. Her hair was messy as she was running a hairbrush through her wet locks, seeming to have just gotten out of the shower.

"Oh, hey (Y/n), been awhile since I've seen you, huh?" Solaris said. Her eyes met mine before her eyebrows furrowed together. "Did something happen? Here, why don't you come in?" She stepped aside and I walked in, mumbling a thanks to her. The first thing I noticed was the white dove sitting on a perch straight ahead of me, fluffing her feathers out. Looking at the bird only made my mood more downcast, as it brought memories of Nikolai back to me.

"Are you going to say something or just stand there...? Come on, the couch is over here and you can just let it all out."

I followed Solaris into her living room and sat on her dark blue couch which was a contrast to the fluffy white rug beneath it. I buried my head in my hands, holding in whatever emotion I was feeling as best as I could, not wanting to lash out as her as well.

"It's all my fault," I said. "I asked Joshua about his past and it turned into this huge argument, ending with him telling me that I'm just annoying to be around and I'm not sure if we're friends anymore. He has a point though. I'm annoying, selfish-"

"Oh shut up. You are not. I'm sure he just lashed out not realizing that he said something hurtful until after it was already said, am I right? So, you know that you're not at fault but honestly, it's normal to fight with some people like that if you know them. You two are just different, him being someone used to concealing all information and you being someone who wants to reach out. It's hard to break someone's walls if something serious has happened to them before. It takes real courage to stand up to what happened and move on though."

I smiled, but it didn't reach my eyes. "Thanks for that speech. Someone has to knock some kind of sense into me right? But that doesn't mean I'll just let go of the things I said to him as well."

"It would be best to stay here for just a short time to calm down. If you go down there, you two will most likely rip each other's heads off out of anger. Your place is next door or you can crash here, which I would prefer. I did happen to get some information on Nikolai, after all," Solaris said. My head snapped up as I looked at her.

"What? What did you find out?" I asked, anxious to hear what she had to say. This was a good opportunity to get my mind off of things and plan to apologize tomorrow. However, I couldn't push away every little thing. Somethings just aren't meant to be forgotten I guess.

"Well, Nikolai has been sentenced to fall, and will have his trial once the Angels can find him."