Arcade - Duncan Laurence

Rival - Ruelle

Skinny Love- Birdy

Warnings: Assault, Panic attack triggers (it has been mainly censored but there will be some triggering dialogues and scenes)

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Days upon days has passed by in a blur, a rapid blur, and Jimin feels himself slowly going back to the person he once was before.

The one before Jungkook, minus the suicidal thoughts.

Those hasn't been around, not like he has time to even think these days anymore.

Ever since that day in Jimin's room, the pair haven't been speaking to each other in school at all. They barely mutter a word, only pass by one another in between classes or during classes as if they're strangers. They don't even visit each other, nothing. However they knew better than to feel so helpless. There's a reason why they're doing this, a reason they both agreed to it, so that's why Jimin hasn't felt too alone.

Jungkook is always there, even when he's not physically close, Jimin knows that his lover will be there as his silent angel.

Lately  the ravenette has been hanging around his golden boys once again, and they seem to bounce back to their chemistry rather quickly. Yoongi doesn't like being around them as a whole at all, so he obviously prefers Jimin's company a lot more, even when the other boy barely speaks a word anymore.

At home, things has been surprisingly better, especially since Jimin has been acting as the son his father wanted; pure and good. He only remains quiet, mentions about going to church and would tell his father how guilty he was for feeling something for someone of the same gender and how he has learned from it.

In reality, he still feels something for Jungkook. The pair both know that the farther Jungkook is from Jimin, the less likely Jimin will get that horrid treatment again since he will feel guilty about his feelings.

Being around Jungkook makes him feel a pang of guilt, especially after everything he's been through with those people. Being around males in general makes Jimin feel uncomfortable, so obviously if they did do something, Jimin's instinct would be to go to his father, even if he knows it's not right, his other part of his mind will shame him to bits.

He needs to face his horrid demon on his own in this case, remember Jungkook in a good light to protect both of them.

And so far.... It's been progress. Jimin has been less tense, calmly attending his classes and has been able to stare at Jungkook for in total of 10 minutes without feeling any sort of shame or guilt to his rushing feelings.

However, his father's words still clouded his mind, so he's not exactly free from his chain just yet.

Also recently Taehyung has been gaining the habit of trying to get on Jimin's good side again, but that's an annoyance that Jimin himself can't even conceal, even if he tried. He would always walks away or put a barrier between them so the other would just leave him alone. In many times it has worked, Taehyung got the hint and would leave.

But sadly... In this occasion, Jimin wasn't fast enough.

It all happened too soon when Taehyung suddenly appears in front of him in the empty hallway of this school as the smaller was heading back to class after using the bathroom. The blond kept his steady eyes while Jimin masks a harsh glare in return.

He's entirely fed up by this point.

"What do you want from me?" Jimin huffs with arms crossed, "I need to get back to class-"

"I found out who took the video."

Jimin instantly got quiet. His heart slowly began to accelerate to his words as he stares at Taehyung, waiting for what he has to say.

He knows who took it?

Well that isn't exactly surprising since Taehyung knows everyone in this school!

The blonde only stares at Jimin for a moment longer, studying his unease gaze and sighs, "It was Ty, Lisa told me, that girl Jungkook was fooling around with. Apparently he knew Jungkook's address."

Jimin mind falls completely blank, feeling nothing inside his chest anymore as he hears that familiar name glide through his ears. He should've expected for it to be Ty, but he didn't cross his mind not once. For a while Jimin actually believed it was Taehyung for sure since he knows where Jungkook lives.

And he was the last person there.

But, Jimin doesn't want to fall for it without any evidence either, obviously.

So Jimin narrows his eyes in speculation, "Why should I believe you?"

For a moment Taehyung remains still with his own eyes fighting a battle against each other, but then pulls out his phone, clicking it a few times and hesitantly presses on the screen, moving his eyes to the ground instead of looking at Jimin.

"Come on Taehyung, it's not that big of a deal!" Jimin instantly catches on Lisa's voice blurting out through the phone, making his anxiety slightly start to rise.

"Ty single handledly ruined my best friend's relationship! I am going to tell him!

"No you're not! Not if you don't want him to tell Jimin you have some childish feelings for him and it was because of him the main reason you broke up with Hobi."

Wait what.....

Jimin couldn't suppress the gasp from escaping his lips, moving his eyes up to look at Taehyung, who only continues with a hard look to the floor in complete guilt.

Taehyung.....

He feels something.... For Jimin?

"No one can prove that. I blurted that while I was drunk at a party! That's not reliable!"

"Don't provoke Ty dude. He would tell Jimin-"

"Wait...... Don't.... Jungkook will hate me and Jimin won't even look at me anymore, they will avoid me more than they already are."

"This is all Ty told me to tell you, keep your pretty mouth silent, or say bye bye."

And the recording ended.

Jimin couldn't even hide his uneven breathing by now, letting all of this sink in heavily as Taehyung nervously puts his phone back in his pocket, slowly looking up at Jimin to meet his gaze.

But all Jimin showed was his neutral face, one that he has been trying to break through ever since his harsh treatment. He's screaming on the inside to this sudden news, crying in utter pain and yelling for this all to be a stupid dream, but on the outside he looks nearly emotionless.

And in his utter panic, he turns to walk away, not being able to face Taehyung at all right now.

This can't be happening.

Why me?

Why?

It doesn't make sense!

Maybe it'll make sense if it was Jungkook but not me!

"Wait Jimin please!" He's suddenly blocked by Taehyung's body and he subconsciously flinches back by the close proximity, nearly shrieking to the almost physical contact with his tormenting thoughts clouding his head.

Please make these thoughts stop!

Why can't I just be okay again!

So Jimin shakes his head desperately, "Look I appreciate you for showing me this, but that doesn't change anything between us. I need to go."

But before he can take a step, Taehyung gets in his way once again, this time appearing much more annoyed than usual.

Oh no...

"Why are you still so mad at me? I apologized! To both you and Jungkook! I tried to show my care and concern about you guys by showing you this recording, so maybe you guys can bring her to justice, upon doing other things to show that I'm sorry! I am sorry Jimin! Why can't you just accept it for fucks sakes!"

The screaming drew Jimin closer to a massive panic trigger, remembering the pain he went through while Jungkook was gone and crying every night with no one noticing, leaving him to have to deal with those beatings alone and harsh words while Yoongi wasn't around.

Or maybe they did notice, but they didn't care enough.

Jungkook can easily forget about their ignorance to him because he has prepared his heart to the disappointment because of them, as for Jimin? He wasn't prepared, so that's why it hurts him the most.

So with childish tears, he exploded, "Because I trusted you! I laid my whole trust onto you! I wanted to be by your side for such a long time but for you to do what you did to me hurts! Okay? I don't want to be disappointed again because of you! Jungkook can easily let it go because he didn't trust you, me? I'm the idiot that fell for our friendship, and now..... I can't stand facing that loneliness and abandonment by you once again, especially since we were friends. I'm hurt. I'm hurt and that's why I can't just let it go! I cared too much and it got me fucked! So sorry if I'm not like everyone else that has fallen to your feet when you just apologize, but I'm finally looking after myself...... So please just..... Understand..... I've been through enough."

And enough he has, far more than Taehyung's imagination could reach.

Tears now beamed Taehyung's eyes as he lets out heavy deep breathes, feeling like such a fuck up as the small boy practically spills his heart out to him.

The blonde has thought it over and over every single day on why he didn't do anything. Was it because he was so into his bubble of his dysfunctional family to notice? Or was it because he was going through that harsh truth the same week when Hoseok opened up about his developing feelings for Yoongi and told Taehyung that he couldn't be together anymore? Was it his jealousy of the thought that when Jungkook comes back that everything will all just be happy once again and Taehyung will be left to that emptiness in his chest? Or......Would it be because of his anger to the realization that his feelings for Jimin weren't going away anytime soon and the best way to avoid it was to avoid him?

He doesn't know what it was that made him turn away and be angry with the world.

And now..... He regrets it.

He can't run away from his problems, and that's what he seems to be used to doing.

And now..... He feels so alone and... Horrible.

"I know you're going through a lot," Taehyung whispers, sniffling back his need to break down, "I don't want to hurt you or add pressure onto you."

Jimin gulps thickly and takes a couple of steps back, moving his eyes to the ground, "And about the tape..... I'm with Jungkook... And I love him, so..... An us won't happen.... Sorry."

"I know," Taehyung croaks but clears his throat to mask his hurt, "I mean..... I didn't expect it to.... Going after you will just be a losing game, there's no point if we know how it ends," Taehyung sighs with a deep frown,  "I will send the recording to Jungkook, and you both can decide on what to do with it."

"Why did you show it to me first?" Jimin whispers, moving his eyes up to look at him once again, making Taehyung's heart leap slightly to how fragile and small he looks.

Taehyung doesn't say anything at first, only managed to force a smile, "I guess I still had hope for a friendship."

Jimin takes in Taehyung's sincere face, his panic only rising even more as his father's words kept circulating his head; Fearing him of being close to any other male alone.

Maybe they will have a chance someday to be friends...... But as for now, Jimin needs to adjust being around other people again.

So he only slowly nods shyly and begins to walk away, "I have to go Tae."

But Taehyung didn't want to let him go yet. There's so much more he wants to say to him, but Jimin is growing farther and farther away and Taehyung feels so hopeless that he actually blew his chance on rekindling their friendship by being too honest about his feelings.

Meanwhile Jimin's anxiety is approaching its breaking point if he doesn't find a bathroom to just scream or cry anytime soon. The thought of another person, a male, feeling something for him just makes him want to drown himself in that holy water. He doesn't want to feel disgusted or anxiety to this, he hates it, but his mind is driving him wild and he has an ongoing war with himself and with his demons.

And they're winning.

And that intensity of emotions only rushed in massive spirals when he's suddenly being grabbed by the wrist and whirled around, facing Taehyung's desperate eyes.

Facing a horrid memory in his head that same moment.

Memories that wouldn't stop with its voices.

Those damn voices!

"Please stop!! I don't like it!"

Please make it stop.

Make it stop!

"You didn't seem to mind when that heathen did it to you. What if I tell you this man is Jungkook?"

Jimin frantically shakes his head, "Jungkook would never force himself onto me-"

"You are a coward. Pathetic. Giving yourself up for a man, who let alone doesn't love you, it's all lust,"

"Remember? You felt pain."

"It was love!"

"Jungkook brings you pain," His father manipulated in the darkness, playing with Jimin's own memory of that night, "He's the one touching you right now."

"No! You're wrong!"

"Call him by his name and he will stop."

By now Jimin is under complete suffering as flashes of his and Jungkook's moments together soon began to be manipulated into hurtful lust, nothing but Jungkook's devious eyes only wanting to steal Jimin's pure innocence like how it's happening right now-

No!

No, this man isn't Jungkook!

"Please stop!"

"Jungkook is pain. Say it."

Jimin bawls viciously as he tries to escape the bondages that's holding him wide open under the dim light of the dark room against the table, "I won't deny our relationship under God!"

Jimin forces his eyes closed to the memories, slamming a hand against his own head, hearing his own voice in his head in desperation, shaking his head, "S-Stop thinking. Stop thinking"

Taehyung looks at him now, confused, "Jimin?"

But Jimin is long gone.

Only buried deep in that memory.

But the more he said that, the more he hears his own voice screaming.

"No! No! No! DON'T DO IT! I'M WITH JUNGKOOK! DON'T DO THIS TO ME!"

"That wasn't love. That was pain. It was lust. You just became a filthy whore, just like how he saw you as," Mr. Park growls against his ear angrily, "Accept it. You are a disgusting human being for letting yourself be with a man. Admit it. I bet you are enjoying this aren't you? Huh? What a disgrace to God you are. He will never forgive you, and I will remind you through this whole process how much of an abomination you are to remove that disease."

The beautiful moment now being remembered as his hurting cries, roaming hands and heavy noises, similar to how this moment is now.

No! No! This isn't Jungkook! With Jungkook it was special!

It's so similar..... What if it was all in his head? What if it was only lust?

No! Stop thinking this way!

"All you have to say is his name," Mr. Park taunts once again, through Jimin's mental break down, "Jungkook won't stop. He doesn't care, he's only a demon that wants to destroy you. Once you realize that, the better you'll feel."

To the hands he once adored being caressed by.

"Please stop," Jimin weakly wails and peers his teary eyes open, seeing the hooded and masked figure hovered over him.

And to Jimin's complete and utter horror, the mask soon begins to pick up familiar features as his beautiful ravenette; Strong cheek bones, sharp jaw line, doe eyes and perky pink lips.

It wasn't a mask anymore, he transformed into Jungkook right before Jimin's eyes.

And that terrified him.

"NO! STOP IT! STOP!" Jimin sobs hard, desperately trying to get away from the man but the bondages on his wrist and ankles didn't allow him, "Get off me!"

"It's okay angel," The voice spoke, even sounding familiar against Jimin's ears, "All I'm going to do is make you sin, over and over again.. My sweet angel."

He called him his angel....

And that completely smashed down every sense of conscious and awareness in Jimin's mind.

Jimin began to shake in utter desperation , the torture for the past three days now getting to his head, and the words somehow forced out of his lips, "J-JUNGKOOK STOP!"

"L-Lovely please!" Jimin begs pathetically, only seeing Jungkook's face as the masked man, with a horrid scowl "Jungkook..... S-STOP! IT HURTS! OW! YOU'RE HURTING ME!"

The pain only got worse and worse and Jimin's body suddenly grows weak against the surface he's laying on, crying silently with his unmovable body, not fighting back anymore.

He's hurting me.... And he doesn't care...

I'm....... I'm nothing....

"Jungkook is what?" His father's voice growls harshly against Jimin's ear once again, who only faces the ceiling with emotionless eyes, feeling so disgusted and hopeless with himself now.

Jimin gulps forcefully, "Jungkook..... Is p-pain."

All he ever loved..... Is gone.

He hurt me.....

Jungkook is pain.

Suddenly a delicate chuckle bubbles the air along, with a delicate kiss on his neck from the hooded figure.

"That's right angel, I am pain."

Jimin couldn't suppress himself from screaming loudly from the memory and pounds his hands against Taehyung's chest, urging him away desperately.

"Don't TOUCH ME!" He barks loudly, only scurrying back against the floor when Taehyung lets him go.

So many thoughts rushes his head in painful waves and Jimin suddenly cries hysterically, "It hurts! Make it stop! IT WON'T STOP!"

And Taehyung instantly bolted down the hallway.

Yoongi is shaking uncomfortably in his seat, feeling an odd sensation stir in his chest as the minutes pass by, and his focus in class is only growing more and more thin.

Something is going on, Yoongi can feel it.....

What if it's Jimin?

Is he okay?

Is he in pain?

As moments continue to pass by, Yoongi only grew more relentless and he turns to look at Jungkook, "How's Jimin been lately?"

Jungkook blinks  his focus from the teacher's lecture on Calculus and turns to Yoongi, "Jimin? He's.... Well..... He said he has a plan-"

Suddenly the platinum blonde haired male shoots up upon hearing a weak cry somewhere outside the hallway, a cry he recognizes all too well that Jungkook wasn't able to hear.

"We need to-"

The door of the classroom suddenly bursts open, revealing a heaving Taehyung with bloodshot red eyes as he desperately scans the classroom until it lands on the pair, and he visibly began to shake uncontrollably.

The teacher suddenly stopped the lesson, looking at the teenager concerned to his sudden state, "Taehyung? What are-"

"I-I..... J-Jimin-"

Taehyung didn't even get to finish his sentence. Jungkook shoots up from his desk and rushes past the other desks, leaving the classroom with Yoongi behind him. Taehyung leads them down the hallway, eventually spotting to a crying Jimin on the floor only a few feet away from them, leaning against the lockers with legs to his chest, crying and gasping for air frantically.

"Angel," Jungkook breathes and begins to rush towards him, but Yoongi suddenly yanks him back by the collar.

"Don't," He hisses, listening closely to what Jimim is muttering under his breath.

"My lovely hurt me."

"Jungkook is pain."

"Sinner, I'm a sinner."

Jungkook glares his angry eyes to Yoongi, "He's my boyfriend! Let me help him-"

"He's going through an emotional and mental break down right now and it involves you, a great majority," Yoongi snaps, slowly letting him go, "He will only block himself out more if he sees you while he's like this."

They know he's right.

If Jungkook's memory alone is making Jimin behave like this, seeing him at the moment will only push him worse to his darker thoughts.

Taehyung shakily looks at Jimin, tears swimming down his cheeks, "S-So what do we do?"

Yoongi stares at the crying male on the floor and takes a step towards him, "Just.... Let me talk to him."

And so Jungkook steps back, giving Yoongi's hand a squeeze as he reluctantly approaches the fragile boy and stands in front of him, his heart tugging hard from hearing Jimin mutter these horrible things about Jungkook and himself.

He needs to remember who Jungkook is.

So Yoongi squats down in front of the boy and meets Jimin's line of sight, instantly catching the small boy in a trance to his calm emotion, somehow soothing Jimin down from his rushing thoughts.

Yoongi softly smiles, "Hello little one."

Jimin's body slowly stops shaking and he blinks at the familiar male, who's feeding off a comforting glow.

"Hi."

"You seem a little distressed there," Yoongi whispers lowly, sitting down with his own knees to his chest, observing the small boy carefully, "There's nothing to be afraid of, okay? I'm here."

And those words alone began to somewhat settle Jimin's mind, defeating his demons one by one.

Jimin subconsciously nods, somehow feeling his body calm down under Yoongi's delicate eyes but he frowns deeply, "I-I'm scared Yoongi."

Yoongi mimics his frown and tilts his head to the side, "What of?"

"Myself," Jimin whimpers, blinking his tears away, "J-Jungkook..... He gave me pain."

The ravenette upon hearing those words nearly stops breathing. His legs instantly weakens to those fragrant words, but Taehyung was right there to hold him upright.

To be the best friend Jungkook needed right now.

Yoongi only smiles at Jimin, "Now who told you that nonsense?" The words only made Jimin look down in guilt, "Jungkook saved you, remember?"

H-He.... Did?

Jimin's face scrunches up in frustration to his blank mind, but that suddenly goes away when Yoongi places a delicate hand on his head, "I know it's in there somewhere, search for it little one."

Suddenly a weak cry escaped Jimin's lips as the door to his memories creaks open, going back to the time Jungkook threw himself over the bridge just to save him. Going back to the time when Jimin was about to get raped by the alleyway but Jungkook beat those guys up before they did anything. Going back to when Jungkook defended him from his bullies. Saved him from cutting in Taehyung's house.

Jungkook.... Saved me.

"You have been in pain throughout your whole life," Yoongi whispers, eyeing the way Jimin releases painful whimpers from his wet lips, "Maybe this was all part of a plan that God has for you. Jungkook did just so happen to appear in your life when you least expected it... Maybe even at the perfect moment..... And.... You've been happy and healing, remember that? How can someone that gives you so many reasons to live be connected to the reasons you are in pain and trauma, especially if he has tried nothing but to be respectful and kind towards you?"

Jimin only cries quietly to the forming warmth of his heart, the tender remembrance of his meaningful moments with Jungkook now shedding some light as Yoongi's touch on his hair trails down to his temple, his thumb caressing his skin tenderly.

"I-I was h-happy," Jimin repeats, making Yoongi nod in return.

"Yes..... You both suffered, and together you became happy..... You guys are-"

"One," Jimin breathes, desperate eyes looking up at Yoongi, "Where's my lovely?"

Yoongi offers him a soft gaze behind his eyes, moving his eyes to the ravenette with a nod, "He's here..... He will always be here for you little one."

And just like that Yoongi stands up, giving Jimin's hand a comforting squeeze before walking to Jungkook, sending him an encouraging nod, "Remind him of who you are."

For a moment the ravenette didn't know exactly how to do that. He has only been able to offer him a remembrance of their love but how can Jungkook express who he is if he doesn't even know himself. And that's when it hit him, after feeling a gentle tap on his wrist from Taehyung's finger, he instantly knew what to do.

And..... It's not something fairly easy for him either.

So with  that in mind, Jungkook inhales a deep breath and sends Yoongi a twitching smile, patting his back before walking to stand in front of Jimin nervously, slowly moving down to his knees in front of him.

Jimin's eyes slowly moves up to Jungkook from his hands, offering him a weak smile, "L-Lovely-"

"No," Jungkook says softly, slowly removing his bracelets one by one, "I'm Jungkook..... I'm your Jungkook."

What is he doing?

Once the bracelets were all off from either side, Jungkook turns his wrist to reveal his mural of scars; some of them healing, others freshly there from his weekend episode when Jimin was missing, but Jungkook didn't feel shy or afraid to show them anymore.

This is his battle scars.

"Say it Jimin.... Say my name," Jungkook begs, edging his wrists closer to him, "Remember who I am."

Jimin now with nervous eyes, lets a tear escape his eyelid as carefully takes Jungkook's wrist with his hands, cradling it gently with his touch and sniffles, "J-Jungkook....... You're my Jungkook."

More, Jungkook needs to say more.

"I'm broken," He whimpers, watching the way Jimin's lips begin to wobble, "I went through days and years planning everyday on the perfect things to say in order for people to like me, the perfect mask so they won't see my pain. I'm a l-liar to myself. A blade became my best friend for a long time. I'm.... I'm also a s-self harm survivor and I'm still t-trying to survive," Jungkook says softly, his voice cracking to the delicate way Jimin trails his fingers over the scars, "I'm not perfect.... But y-you have made me feel something perfect, and that's love.... Now I'm selfless, happy, and.... So in love with you my precious Jimin..... Now I'm not afraid to be me...... You are me."

"I am you," Jimin whimpers and delicately interlaces their hands together, moving his eyes up at Jungkook with a now more genuine smile and his eyes glimmering in tears and small galaxies, "You are my Jungkook.... You would never h-hurt me."

And at that moment.... Jungkook perminently didn't mean pain.

Jungkook meant.... Jungkook.

Human.

Tender hearted.

And Love.

And all of Jimin's demons suddenly demolished into nothing, for now.

Jungkook lets out a heavy sigh of relief and leans to his boyfriend, nuzzling their foreheads together, "Never Jimin, I would never hurt you."

And Jimin's clouded mind slowly connects back to reality, to his Jungkook. To their beautiful relationship that has been manipulated in Jimin's mind to be a sin. Now he has to learn how to overcome this obstacle that he has began to climb, but he knows he won't do it alone.

It will be a process, but Jimin will slowly heal.

With Jungkook's love and support, along with Yoongi, he won't be alone.

What a blessing they have been in his life.

To the warming scene, a familiar blond stares at them with a soft smile on his face, feeling eyes on him from the familiar small male beside him.

"They are so beautiful," Taehyung whispers, his heart warming up with a familiar sense of hope, "What a relief that they have each other."

What a relief it is indeed.

Taehyung doesn't care anymore if they forgive him or not, right now their happiness is the most valuable to him. Despite his own feelings, he wants nothing more but for this couple to be together for a very long time.

"You know..... You're not exactly alone either," Yoongi says lowly, rubbing a comforting hand to his back, "Jimin is a real friend, and best believe that when you guys overcome this small obstacle, your friendship will be locked solid, well from his side."

And if that day comes, Taehyung will make sure Jimin won't regret it.

So Taehyung only nods and moves his eyes to the small male, "Does this mean you don't hate me anymore?"

For a moment Yoongi doesn't say anything, but only caresses Taehyung's cheek with his thumb, "I never hated you blondie.... You're human, and it's okay to make mistakes. It's about learning from them and moving on with a wiser head and tender heart. Start making yourself feel free from your past, and if you need any guidance, I'll be more than willing to be your backbone through it all."

And Taehyung felt it.

That comforting and calm sensation in his chest as he stares into Yoongi's eyes, feeling not so alone in this world anymore.

And he knows that somehow..... Life won't be so hard as it has been.

Especially for Jimin and Jungkook.

Because now they will stand together instead of apart, even if it meant that Taehyung will be just a shadow in the background.

Now he has hope for a brighter future, and it all laid out here, in the empty hallways of the school building where the blossoming of a new beginning began.

________________________________

A/N:

Wow a lot happened in this chapter, like a lot..... Ahh lovelies it's been such a long time since I've updated any of my books and I apologize for that. I just came back home for the holidays and have been spending time with my family.

Christmas is coming soon! I hope you spend it merrily and joyful! Never forget that you are never alone in this world, I am here for you, no matter what <3

I PURPLE YOU <33