— chapter thirty one —
FOR TWELVE YEARS

—

"WHEN I SAID to go find Harry, I didn't mean end up in Azkaban," Remelda stated as she saw her brother, hair a mess and clothes that were slightly too big sitting across from her. Already she could see the bags under his eyes beginning to form and how his skin was the slightest bit paler and she knew – she knew – that if she ever came back, saw him again, he would look even more sickly.

It had certainly been an interesting month. Starting with the next day she read in the paper that her own brother was being put on trial for the murders of James and Lily Potter. That he killed Peter and twelve surrounding muggles and was a Death Eater, working for Voldemort, the man that killed his best friend. Remus had come early to find a shocked and angry Remelda.

She knew when she saw him that he believed it. He didn't want to, Sirius had been his friend was so long, but other evidence was there? Remelda wanted to scream the truth at him, but knew it would be better if she didn't. She had nothing but her word, and while that would've been enough years ago, time had changed.

Remelda had been unsure about their relationship in the beginning, and she was right so to doubt this. While she loved Remus with all her heart, he didn't the same. All those lies, some unintentional as he believed that he loved her, had ruined them. Remus didn't love her and she didn't resent him for it. Still, he had troubles loving every piece of himself, and she knew that they weren't meant to be together. How could she expect him to love her when he still did not accept himself?

It wasn't going to work. So when Remus, two weeks ago, asked for a divorce, she did not fight him. The last thing she wanted was to burden him more. If he was finally ready to admit that this wasn't good for either of them, that was fine. She gulped down her tears and sobs and kept her head high. She was a Black through and through. Pride, the look that nothing could ever affect her, was all she had.

"I know," Sirius sighed, "And I'm sorry. I just, knowing what he had done...I couldn't let Peter get away."

"Yet here you are. In Azkaban – for life," Remelda pointed out, "He isn't worth it."

"He's the reason why James and Lily are dead. He's nothing more than a rat who was too cowardly to stand up and fight," Sirius hissed, "He knows nothing of loyalty."

"Don't you think I know that? But he's dead now – because of you," Remelda finished, the you're a killer – you're like our parents left in silence, yet they both knew it was there.

Sirius flinched at the silent words, bowing his head in guilt and shame before looking up, "I didn't kill him, though. I didn't kill anyone. He did, and then...then he was gone and I was placed in cuffs."

Remelda gulped, "But you're still here, Sirius. You should've seen Nadia when she heard. I've never seen her cry before and she just broke down. And what about Calypso? Now she's never going to know her uncle."

The older man clenched his eyes shut and turned his head away from her. "I know. I know I fucked up and I'm never going to see her again, but will you tell her I love her?"

"She thinks you're a killer," Remelda filled in, sympathy in her eyes, "I'm sorry, but I know she won't believe me. There's no evidence for you, only against you."

He nodded, "It's alright. You've done enough for me, Remelda, and I'm sorry I dragged you into all of this. I wish...I wish I could do something."

Her eyes softened and she wished that guards weren't watching from outside the room so that she could reach for his hand. "If you hadn't dragged me into your world, Sirius, I would be married to Demetri Carrow and never would've had Calypso or met Remus. Or Nadia. And I would live my whole life thinking you're a betrayer and killer."

A soft smile was sent her way. "Thank you, Mel, really. How...how is Remus, though?"

"I wouldn't know," she quietly admitted, "He wants a divorce, hasn't been living with me since two weeks ago."

"I-I'm so sorry."

Remelda shrugged, "It's fine, really. I knew it was coming and that's alright. It has nothing to do with you, Sirius, I've just been waiting for this to happen. We already agreed that I'll be keeping Calypso with me."

Sirius nodded again, and there was a nice silence between them until he broke it again, "I never meant for any of this to happen."

"I know."

"I just wanted to avenge them."

"I know."

"And I love you so, so much, Remelda."

"I know."

"And that's exactly why you can't visit me in here. Ever."

"I kn – what, wait?" Remelda's eyes widened and she looked at her brother, gaping at him.

"You'll already have a rough time because of your association with me, and I can't drag you down any further. If anyone ever finds out that you even visited me today, you could be completely ruined and I can't – I can't live knowing that I ruined your life. Please...just don't visit me. Please."

Remelda pursed her lips, wanting to argue. She wanted to see her brother, have him close since she knew that Regulus still had to hide. She hadn't seen him in almost six months, apparently he had found a nice place in Chicago to stay where no one would find him. He said that he would try yearly visits but even that was beginning to become too risky. Now...who even knows.

But she knew why Sirius asked this of her, and she knew what she had to say. "Okay."

He looked so relieved that she agreed to easily, "Thank you, really. But please...tell Nadia I love her."

Again, she wanted to bring up the fact that Nadia thought he was a killer. That hearing this would either cause fury inside her or cause her to crumble from sadness. She didn't say this, he didn't need more guilt to form inside him. Instead, she nodded, "Okay."

What Remelda didn't know was that this would be her last conversation with him for twelve years.

―

Her head collapsed against the pillow on the couch, Calypso in her eyes. The two-year-old was currently enamored with the cartoons in front of her so Remelda allowed herself to close her eyes. It was late and soon she would need to place her daughter to sleep before getting her own. It had been a stressful day, and seeing Sirius had taken so much more out of her than she originally thought.

Her grip on Calypso loosened as she felt herself fall even more into slumber into a loud, constant knock was at the door. Her eyes immediately snapped opened her curiosity, and fear, was struck inside her. It was late – probably eight at night – and no one should be at the door.

"I'll be right back," she whispered to the young girl on her lap, placing her on the couch beside where Remelda had once been and she left the living room to go to the kitchen.

Cautiously, she unlocked the door and opened it, revealing a desperate Nancy Pendleton – Carrow, she was Nancy Carrow now – and two children in her arms. She had told the woman years before where she would be living, in Andromeda's house for that summer, and then again when the both for leaving Hogwarts. Just for safety after knowing Demetri and seeing what he had already begun to do to the poor girl. Even exchanged a letter with her on how she moved into a new house, and some days she regretted that letter. Some days she thought that maybe this would cause harm and ruin to her life, but when she opened the door to reveal Nancy like this...she didn't regret the letter at all.

"Help me, please," the woman begged, looking at Remelda with eyes filled with such emotion and need that she couldn't help but open the door wider to let them inside.

Gratefully, Nancy ushered inside and placed her two children in the seats of the kitchen table. She then turned back to the Lupin woman before her.

"What are you doing here, Nancy?" there was no malice in her tone, only concern.

"I had to, I had to get away, it wasn't safe. It wasn't safe, Remelda," the woman rambled, "My babies. It wasn't safe and I know, I know what he was planning on doing and I couldn't let it happen. I had – have – to protect my child."

Remelda brought the girl into a hug, knowing exactly what she meant. This woman wasn't here for her own safety, but for her children. And Remelda knew that if she were in her situation, she would do the same.

"What was he planning on doing?" Remelda asked her softly.

"He – he doesn't want Calix," the woman cried, "He hasn't shown any signs of magic, not like Amara, and he doesn't want the shame of having a son who isn't magical...he was planning on killing him. My son! I couldn't – I couldn't let him."

"Sh, no one's going to hurt Calix, alright? He'll be alright," Remelda assured the woman.

"A-And Amara. He said that he couldn't take the chance. My babies!" Nancy continued to wail, looking at the confused children in the seats.

Remelda closed her eyes, imagining someone who could even think of killing children. Babies just these two...just like her own. Thinking of Calypso hurt, thinking of someone killing her own child hurt her and she felt the need to protect the girl at all costs. Much like how Nancy felt in that moment.

"No one's going to touch them, alright? I promise you that no one will ever touch them," Remelda said, even though she knew she could never truly keep a vow like that, no matter how hard she tried.

But Nancy nodded anyways, "Please, keep them safe. I can't have anyone hurting them. Please, keep them away from Demetri. I can't let him near my babies!"

And that name. This was the man who would kill his own children, who had no compassion for human life. He would kill his own children before he couldn't bare the shame of having children who were no magical – who were not wizards, inferior in his eyes as a muggle. No, she would never let that man touch these innocent children.

Remelda nodded, "I promise. But what about you?"

"I have to go. I can't hide, I have to go back. Just – just keep my babies safe."

That was a death sentence, the both of them knew it. It was a nicer way to say that she was going to hand herself in to be killed just to protect her children. Remelda didn't want to think of Nancy dead. Even though the girl had tormented her during school, hated her, she didn't want to see this girl dead. Not now, not when she was willing to send in herself for death in place of her children.

"I'll protect them with my life," Remelda softly said, another vow she would try to keep.

"Thank you," and just like that, the woman after giving one last hug and kiss to her babies.

Remelda looked at them. Barely any trace of their father, little Nancys staring up at her in confusion, feeling something, knowing somewhere inside them that they would never see their mother again, and Remelda felt sympathy for these small children.

She would protect them, she would keep them safe. But not here. Remelda was not stable enough to care them, and it would be more obvious for her to stay with them, but someone else. It had to be someone close, she had promised to look after the children, after all.

Nadia. She would have to get Nadia to care for them. But their true names would not do. If they were to live in the wizarding world, they could not be Calix and Amara, those close with the Carrow family would know who they were immediately.

But that was an issue for another day. Now, she just had to care for them until she could convince Nadia to take them home.

hi, i thought this was obvious since this book has been completed for months now, but the character ask is CLOSED. please refrain from commenting under this section because your question will not be answered and frankly it's a little annoying to me.

ask questions for the q&a coming up soon:

remelda

nadia

nancy

demetri

alfie

remus

sirius

regulus