— chapter eight —
LIES ARE PILING UP

—

SHE DIDN'T KNOW where she was. The light was blinding, there were her brothers, still arguing, and Nadia trying to calm down her boyfriend. Alfie wasn't there (she needed to talk to him, she noted) and Remelda felt her heart racing slightly. What spell? Who did it? Why would someone want to hurt her?

Well, she could think of many things. First, her name; Black. Some people would do anything to hurt those who supported the idea of blood purity reigning all. Second, she angered them. But who had she angered? How did she anger them? Why would she anger them? And third, it was a prank. Like, the kind of pranks the Marauders would play on Severus Snape. Well, the kind they used to play on him. Apparently they hadn't that year.

But, back the main point, her heart was racing, people were yelling and her throat was sore. She looked at her arms, seeing bandages covering them. Her eyes widened at that, her wounds were worse than she imagined. Emotionally, mentally, she knew her wounds her worse than this, but physically she thought that it wouldn't be so bad. And then her mind went to the marks on her back...

Walburga and Orion didn't usually resort to physical punishments. Usually it was Crucio, but sometimes they felt like blood needed to be a part of the rituals.

Still panicked, she looked at Regulus, yelling at Sirius to leave and the older brother with his face red from anger telling him no, he wasn't going to leave his sister. If she could, Remelda probably would've laughed. Snorted, too.

(How un-ladylike of her!)

But she in a lot of pain in that moment, and her throat was scratchy still, so she didn't laugh – or snort. He had already left her, years ago. He had left her behind, without any explanation, and he had hurt her. He had been the one to drive the last bit of innocence out of her eyes, now they were just cold. Everyone was weary of her stone-cold glare, the one that practically signed your death. It could turn people to stone, metaphorically, like Medusa.

It wasn't always like that. There was a time when innocence and good shined through her eyes, twinkling them, as she looked up to her big brother. She thought he would always be there to protect her, to love and guide her, but then he left. He turned cold towards her, and she turned that was as well. It was for the best anyways, she told herself.

Remelda saw Nadia grasping at Sirius, begging for them to just leave, for everyone. But he didn't bat an eyelash at her, much like last year for her. So why was he here now? Preaching about how he would never leave them, trying to explain himself now. No, it was too late. She had decided that long ago. He had his chance, but he had lost it. She couldn't allow herself to forgive him now.

"Stop," she finally croaked, prompting everyone to look over at her. Regulus raced towards her as she lifted herself up to meet his hug. It was shorter than usual, but still just as tight, probably tighter. Her eyes, though, stayed on Sirius.

"Are you alright?" her (ex)brother asked, concern filling his eyes as if he actually cared...

"Fine," she answered him, her tone cold, "But I would be better if you weren't here."

"Remelda –"

"No, Sirius, just leave," she commanded, no sympathy in her voice, "Please."

She didn't say that word often. She used to, around him anyways, but now she didn't. She had learned not to by her parents.

Sirius looked defeated, sighing before looking at Nadia, who placed her hand on his shoulder in comfort. "Alright...but I hope you feel better, Remelda," he tried to smile.

She nodded, not saying anything else to him. He left, his hand in Nadia's, and there was a pang in her heart. Sirius had found other people, better people, and he didn't need them. At the same time, Remelda's world was dull. She felt constricted, feeling pain every waking moment – even if it wasn't always physical like it was in that moment.

Sirius was thriving, Remelda was dying.

Her anger towards him fueled more.

—

"So you can't remember anything about the attack?" Alfie had asked the question for what felt like the millionth time to Remelda.

She rolled her eyes at the question, again, "Yes, Alfred, how many times do I have to tell you? Are you truly this dumb?"

Her comment didn't seem to faze him, as he shrugged, "I'll have you know that I am excelling in Potions and Transfiguration at the moment."

Remelda rolled her eyes, "And that is supposed to impress me how? I, too, am gifted at those classes. You're nothing special."

She knew that he would usually be angered at comments like those, which was why she was trying to provoke him. He seemed strange that day...Still, he smiled, "At least I'm good at Herbology, Remelda."

The girl couldn't but scoff. "Oh, teach me your ways, Mr. Wilkins. How can I possibly be good at Herbology like you?" she sarcastically asked.

"Whatever," he dismissed the teasing, causing a small frown to be placed on Remelda's face. "So are you sure you don't remember the attack."

"Oh my Salzar, Alfred, no. I don't. How many times do I have to keep telling you?" she rolled her eyes again, "What's your obsession with the attack anyways?"

"Well...something happened before the attack between us, I wasn't sure if you were lying about not remembering or something," he suddenly became nervous. It was partially lying, not that Remelda or anyone else knew at the time, but it would become so clear soon.

"Like what?" she suddenly became interested, her brows furrowing as she placed down the book that she had been reading while talking to him.

"It doesn't matter," he tried to dismiss it, "Really, Remelda, don't worry about it."

She scoffed, "You're shitting me, right? You tell me that something happened – that I can't remember – and now you won't tell me? Unbelievable."

Alfie, nervous, frowned slightly and began to fidget with his hands, not looking at Remelda. "Well, I don't think that you would like to know, that's all."

"You can tell me anything, Alfie. Maybe it would even help me remember the attack..."

Panic spread through Alfie, momentarily letting his eyes turn wide before closing them and shaking his head, "No...I don't think this would help."

"Still," she frowned, "Tell me."

"Okay," he breathed, letting another lie fly from his lips, "We kissed. Before you got into the bathroom, I caught up to you and we kissed."

She frowned, "Why would we do that? I mean, no offense, of course."

"Well, you told me that you had always liked me, life was too short and all that bullshit and then you kissed me," he lied smoothly.

Remelda felt that he was lying. She didn't think she liked him, every memory that she had never explaining that she liked him, so when did this begin? But, of course, she didn't question it, all she remembered from the night was Herbology. After that, it was a little bit of blur. Sirius, she remembered, but what they said...nothing. So maybe they had kissed and she just couldn't remember it. Anything was possible, really.

"So we kissed...well..."

"What? Do you not believe me? Maybe if I kiss you know, you'll remember it," Alfie offered quickly.

"No...it's not that," she was frowning again, "Just seems a bit strange, you know? That you can remember our first kiss but I can't? It feels weird."

"How about this...that kiss won't count, and he can have our first kiss right now," Alfie smirked.

"As amazing as that sounds, I have Potions homework that's due tomorrow which isn't complete. Being in the hospital wing sucks...missing classes and having more work..." Remelda lied.

She had already done all her Potions, and how she just had to finish Herbology (which she was dreading) and Transfiguration. She would do them tomorrow or the next day when she went to the library at night during Demetri's Night Circle.

She scowled at the thought of him. During lunch, after he finished eating, he went to go check on her. He sat with her for quite a while, filling her in on everything she had missed the previous nights when she was unconscious. Apparently, he had begun to hex the team captain of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team because he refused to admit that Slytherin had the better team. Oh, and you couldn't forget the news that another muggleborn family had been killed, which they, apparently, 'deserved.' The thought of it made her angry already. Merlin, did she really hate that man.

Giving one last smile to Alfie, she said, "I'll see you tomorrow, going to call an early night. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," he said back, "Sweet dreams, Remelda."

Nodding, she took her book (which was from a muggle author but spelled to look like a book teaching the dangers of werewolves) and walked out of his dorm room and to the girls' dorms. On her way, she passed Demetri's Night Circle, but no one stopped her, thankfully. She didn't need yet another conversation with the Carrow boy that night.

Finally making it to her room, she collapsed on her bed, huffing loudly as she tried to remember that night but couldn't. The important memory with Alfie had been solved; they had kissed. But it still didn't seem right, though it wasn't time to question it yet. It was time to sleep and let herself drown in great dreams that could never become a reality.

lol don't worry, she'll find out in like the next chapter or the one after that about the truth of that night :)