(𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐋𝐓)

Tristan had five rings total—two on his left hand and three on his right—and I twist one of them around his pinky.

They were all silver rings that were sleek, polished, and had a frigid feeling to them. I shift my entire body towards him and say, "Tristan."

"Hm?" He muses.

"Can I have one?" I question.

 "Which one?" he queries as he glances down at me and then at our hands.

 I take a closer look at each one and gradually realise that they all have words written in different languages. I choose one language even though I'm not sure which one.

Since my thumb is the only finger it fits without slipping off, I put it there.

"What are you doing today?" I ask.

He murmurs, "I was thinking we could make a snowman," and I lightly slap his chest in response.

I mutter, "Don't do that, you know I really want it to snow."

He gestures with his index finger toward the window, and I jump out of the bed, causing his t-shirt to fall to my thighs as I draw the curtain.

White snow is covering the road and yards, and more snow is beginning to fall on top of the previously fallen snow.

I put my head against his chest as I feel two arms around me. "See, I wasn't kidding," he murmurs, placing a kiss on top of my head.

I smile a little and croon, "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas," in the tune of the song.

"In relation to Christmas, what do you want as a gift? He asks, and I merely shrug.

I murmur, "Nothing, as long as you're right here with me," and he smiles, putting his lips on mine.

── ·✩· ──

The weather today was unexpected, so I rub my chilly hands on the cup that my father just brewed. My parents had given all of their employees today off since they felt secure knowing that everyone would be at home.

Tristan rubbed the soles of my feet while he sat next to me with a blanket covering both his legs and mine, which were resting over his thighs.

 A knock on the door startles everyone before I get up to answer it. I push my feet off Tristan's lap and make my way to the door before turning the handle.

Tabitha looks at me with a worried and fearful expression on her face. She says nothing; instead, she just stares at me.

"You all right? I ask." You're welcome to join us for some coco if you like."

"Joshua's in the hospital I just received a call from his mother,"

Until I feel someone's chest brush against my back, my heart rate decreases and I am unable to breathe.

"Everything all right?" Tristan looks at me and Tabitha alternately as he asks.

"Josh attempted to overdose yesterday; his mother saw him in his bathroom holding a bottle of sleeping pills; he is now in the hospital, but he hasn't woken up."

"Have you gone yet?" he inquiries. 

She shakes her head. "I felt like you guys needed to know before I went, I think we should all go together," she mutters and I nod,

"We can take my car," Tristan offers as he swiftly takes our outerwear.

He rapidly dons his coat before placing mine over my arms.

As we move closer to his automobile, I remain silent because I am at a loss for words or actions.

We hastily enter his vehicle, and he gives Tabitha the wheel so he can ride in the back with me and make sure that I'm okay.

He murmurs, carefully tracing circles on the back of my palm, "I know what you're thinking and it's not your fault."

A few tears start to fall down my cheek as I hastily try to brush them away, but he dries them before I can. "He called me Tristan, three times," I tell him and his gaze softens.

In an effort to reassure me, he says. "That's not your fault. You couldn't possibly know," 

"If I had only answered, I could have stopped him, but instead we were—"

"Don't, Olivia," he murmurs.

As I pull my hand away from his, I mutter, "Let's just hope he wakes up."

── ·✩· ──

When we get to the hospital, Joshua's mother is sitting there with her hands over his, her eyes puffy and red with grief as she looks down at her son.

She's gone through too much already—she went through a bitter divorce, and the prospect of losing her son may be the final straw.

As we enter the space, Tabitha calls out, "Mrs Hart." After she stands up and receives a much-needed hug from Tabitha, my eyes wander over Joshua's lifeless body.

His skin was pale, his hair was a floppy mess, and he already appeared to be dead. I hurriedly turn around and rush back outside, only to crash into Tristan's chest and cave in, sobbing into his shirt as his arms around me.

"Olivia, I promise you he's going to be alright," he murmurs as he kisses the top of my head.

"You don't know that," I cry between sobs, practically choking on my own words.

He murmurs, "He won't give in." "He's strong, and he won't go like this, I swear to you,"

If Tristan and I hadn't done what we did last night, I can't help but feel like I could've done anything to stop him or at least talked him out of it.

I'm ashamed of myself for not being there for him when he was in such agony that he turned to death to provide him comfort. I feel bad that I can't console his mother and, for once, control my feelings. I hope Tristan is correct in thinking that he isn't prepared to let go.

I look down at Tristan's shirt and smile quietly, "I'm sorry, I have snort on your shirt," as I take my time to cling to him and let everything out. Tristan shakes his head.

In a strange tone, he murmurs, "Don't worry, just let it out."

I almost missed the fact that Joshua was Tristan's friend before I was, that his entire life fell apart when we started dating, and that he believes all of his friends despise him because hewas so preoccupied with my feelings. I have no idea what Joshua will do when he wakes up, either.

"I remember when Joshua first started playing the drums," he chuckles, "He played his first song with the covers on top.

"He was never like this before, or maybe I just couldn't see," he remarks as he raises his head to peer through the glass.

I look up at him, "You can't blame yourself for this," I say.

I feel fine for a brief moment as his eyes lock with mine. Everything seems to be going as usual, as if Chase and I had never dated and as if I hadn't ruined Tristan's life, as if Joshua isn't battling for his life in that hospital bed.

"Joshua!" Tabitha exclaims.

Tristan and I both let go of one another before entering the room quickly.

His mother sniffles, "My baby," as she casts a downward glance towards Josh.

Every few seconds, Joshua's eyes close as he attempts to keep them open

Tristan mutters, "Tabitha, get the doctor," and she nods before scurrying away.

Joshua sits up, massaging his temples and asking, "Where am I?"

"Josh, the hospital," I say, prompting his eyes to turn toward me.

He shakes his head when he sees Tristan and me together. He murmurs, "You guys have some nerve."

Tristan says, "This isn't the time for resentment. My best friend is in the hospital, you think I wouldn't come?"

"Ever consider that I wouldn't want you to come?"

"Joshua, do not say that!" his mother exclaims.

He replies, increasing his voice somewhat, "I called both of them, and they didn't fucking pick up, now they want to be here?"

"I'm sorry my life only mattered when I was on the verge of death,"

"Joshua, I'm sorry," I say as my eyes flutter a little from the emotions I can feel starting to well up.

He looks at me with a wave of hidden anger, "I called, and you never picked up," he mutters.

I mutter, "I'm sorry," and when my voice falters, guilt, shame, and remorse all converge in me. As the tears start to fall, I find myself hurriedly leaving the room.

I quickly turn around when a hand grabs mine, pushing the person away because I knew it was Tristan. I scream, "Just leave me alone, please."

He murmurs, "Olivia,."

I scream as more tears well up in my eyes, "God, Tristan your friend is in there recovering from an overdose and here you are racing after me." Do you not realise how absurd that is?"

I immediately regret my comments as soon as I see the furrow in his brows, he comes to a halt and his expression is blank but somehow I still see the hurt in his eyes, mixed with confusion.

"Tristan I didn't mean to—"

"No it's fine," he mutters just as he turns and abandons me in the crowded hall.

── ·✩· ──

𝗼𝗼. ⁞ 𝐀𝐒𝐇 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒 !

Hey guys, that concludes chapter Forty- Four, at this point, I'm just updating whenever I can. I greatly do hope that you liked this chapter and if you didn't well you won't like the next one either, love you guys. Chapter Forty- Five coming soon.

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