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"You're so beautiful."
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Elliot's P.O.V

A woke up alone and sat straight up rapidly scanning the room for Ryder but the sound of water running calmed me. I felt numb and wanted to cry but I really wanted to hold Ryder.

I noticed that the bathroom door was only halfway closed so I could see Ryder's naked body through the clear glass door. I felt my cheeks burn as this is the first time I've seen him naked.

I stared at him, mesmerized by his gorgeous but extremely sexy figure. The water rolled down his scalped back as his muscles clenched and relaxed while he washed his body. His as was tight and flexed, I really liked it.

What I didn't realize was my pants had become a little too tight. I instantly thought about my mom which made it go away. It then fully hit me that it was my moms birthday today.

I could immediately feel tears bubble up in my eyes as I didn't even try to blink them away. I already knew I'd be crying the whole day and I would cling to Ryder like always. I love my mom and I miss her so much.

Soon I heard footsteps but knew who they were instantly. My eyes were now glued to the floor as I felt hands on my thighs as Ryder sighed.

"Let me get changed, and then we can cuddle, alright?" He suggested making me nod as I felt him stand up kissing on forehead before getting dressed.

When I looked up at him he was in some shorts without a shirt on which I didn't mind. He guided me back into bed lifting me on his lap as he grabbed the remote. I noticed a glass of water on the side table.

"Can I have a sip?" I asked almost inaudibly which he nodded to and handed me the cup.

"I got it for you, Whenever you get hungry I'll go downstairs and make you something," I knew I probably wouldn't eat today. I nodded slightly as I took a few small sips which helped with my dry throat.

When I was done he took the water from me and put it back on the table. I sighed nuzzling my body into his, we somehow molded together perfectly like we were just meant for each other.

My hand moved around his chest, traces lines and shapes with my fingers to keep my mind off my mom but sooner or later I knew I'd break down. I felt a kiss on my head making me look up at Ryder who smiled and kissed my nose.

"You Know I love you right?" I nodded planting a small kiss on his chest.

"I love you too," I whispered as he dipped his head down to kiss me passionately. I kissed him back, us soon breaking away.

"Let's watch the Lorax, we haven't watched that one in a long time?" I nodded before having a better idea.

"Can we watch troll hunters again?" It had become one of my favourite shows ever, I loved it so much. Steve and Eli were honestly the best, I love Jim and Claire too, I really wish my dad was caring like Blinky.

"Oh course we can," he said kissing my head again. I loved the dynamic of the show and all the characters fit well together. Everything about the show is just so amazing something I know I will always love, just like I would my mom.

My mom. She died what is it, three or four now. It's her birthday so it's still three years I guess. Why'd she have to leave me with that monster, I miss her so much but I can't blame her for leaving me.

She was sick, too sick and she didn't make it. The cancer had beaten her before any of us knew what had happened she was stage four breast cancer and in so much pain.

Radiation, cemo-therapy didn't work, nothing worked. She told me everything would be okay when she died but she also said something else. You'll need to run, and hide before he catches you.

What did she mean by that? I've never been able to figure it out. Maybe she meant my father. Wait don't tell me that he was abusing her too, if so did it start before or after I was born, did he ever rape her.

These were questions I needed answers to and now. I needed to know, I would to ask my father but I had a feeling I wouldn't get an honest answer.

"Love it's gonna be okay, she's not in any pain anymore,"Ryder then said and before I knew it I had burst into tears hiding my face in his neck.

Ryder held me tight, whispered sweet nothings into my ear, calming words and promises. I held him tight as my sobs were loud, my body trembling as I cried.

A hand was rubbing my back in circles while the other running through my hair. At some point I felt butterfly kisses on my neck as I started to calm down. It had been maybe an hour of my crying and I was exhausted.

"Elliot, how you feeling love?" Ryder's soft voice asked as I pulled my head back to look at him.

"Better," I sniffled wiping my tears away, I looked at him before glancing at his lips. I wanted to get my mind off everything and smashed my lips into his kissing him roughly.

"Love.." he pulled his head back slightly but I shook my head.

⚠️⚠️Warning things are about to get a little spicy⚠️⚠️

"Please, I need you," I begged desperately as I was sudden pinned to his bed. His one arm he used to keep him up the other was on my hip. I put one hand on his chest the other

I kissed him desperately as he kissed me back, I soon felt his hand at the top of my pants,"Can I take these off, I wanna try something but only if you're okay with that?"

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and nodded my head,"Leave my sweater on please," I begged as he nodded and kissed my head before slowly sliding my pants down my legs and on the side of the bed.

My legs were practically scar and bruise free fortunately. I had a few tiny scars from glass and beat bottles but they were old and not very noticeable, "You're so beautiful," he whispered huskily into my ear.

I felt a shiver go down my spine as his hands trailed up my legs to the waistband of my boxers. He looked up to me asking for permission which I gulped and slowly nodded to.

Having my boxers off felt like a relief as his hand paused at my thighs,"You tell me to stop and I stop, we don't do anything you do want to do, In no way am I forcing this on you."

"I know you'd never do that," I whispered back to him as I nodded giving him permission to touch me. His hands were slow as one wrapped around my member causing me to gasp. And lean my head back on the pillow.

I had hardly ever touched myself so this was a new feeling. He gave a slow pump before continuing to do more. His mouth entered the game at some point and I felt high off of pleasure.

I ended up coming into his mouth which made me apologize but he gave a smirky response making me hit him.

"Did that feel good?" He asked as he brushed some hair off of my sweaty forehead as he hovered over me.

"Yeah.. it felt great," I whispered breathlessly as my chest heaved. My hand found his hair as I lightly tugged the bottom of it.

"Let me clean you off then we can watch some more tv alright," I nodded as he went and grabbed a cloth. I can't believe I just had my first blowjob.

It felt like a rush but I really really liked it. I wonder if sex is this good, I'm no where ready for sex but I do wonder what it's like.

After Ryder came back we snuggled into each other again, him prepping my neck with kisses and keeping me close to him. After a while I had another crying out burst and stayed the night at his house again.

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The next day I was walking into my house, it now being a Sunday. Ryder and me had spent the night before together at his house. His dad ordered us pizza and we played some games.

It was really fun and I had a great time there. When I got home I was pulled roughly inside by my dad. He slammed the door and pushed me to the floor stomping on my stomach and chest.

It hurt so bad I was wheezing trying to get some air. He grabbed me by the arm pull me up and ripped my sweater over my head to leave my bare back. I already heard the sound of his belt and knew what was coming.

I was bent over the couch as strikes came down my back. So many I lost count, each one hurting more than the one before. I felt blood in my ears as my back was pulsing.

I suddenly couldn't help but scream when I felt a knife dig into the skin on my back. I knew that would leave an ever lasting scar. He twisted it pulling it out then putting it back in again.

I screamed in pain yet again, this knife was ragged and had curved edges, it felt like I was dying. I mean I was sure he could kill me if he wanted to. I always wondered why he hadn't just killed me, I mean wouldn't that save him trouble.

Maybe he just wanted to make my life miserable. I don't understand why he hates me so much, moms death wasn't my fault. He was so kind and caring before I know moms death changed him but why to abuse.

Why was that the only coping method could think off. I'm he gets drunk and high so that's a method, I still wonder every day of my life why he hates me so much.

"HOW DOES THAT FEEL YOU WORTHLESS BRAT!! HOW CAN I HAVE A FAGGOT FOR MY CHILD! YOU DISGUST ME!" He screamed into my ear as I whimpered in pain clenching the couch.

I swung my arm back and hit him across the face before backing away realizing what I had just done. Unfortunately my father was a ex-pro fighter, I was done for.

Before I got a chance to go anywhere he slammed me into the ground sitting on my legs to keep me in place. I felt the knife back in my skin but he was carving something.

Even through the pain I recognized the letters. F.A.G

I hated this, I hated him, I wanted to leave go back to Ryder. He kicked my ribs and punched my stomach for a while after that before he got bored and I crawled up to my room.

I took a cold shower and did my best to wrap some gauze around my back hopefully stopping the blood from flowing out of my back.

I slide into my bed and cried, I cried for hours wishing someone could save me. I prayed for someone to save me. I hated it here and wanted to leave so bad.

I wanted a father like the one I had before, one that loved me unconditionally and didn't beat me until I blacked out or carved things into me.

One that would be there for me, help me when things get tough, teach me things. I wanted that but I could hardly get very many things. Sometimes I needed to ask Noah or Ryder things that I should know about being a male but I didn't.

Maybe I needed to tell the others, could they help me?

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What's Elliot going to do? Is he going to keep quiet or tell someone?

Bye bye kiddos