Have you ever grown up with some one, yet the someone wasn't a sibling? Even still you loved them as such. You watched them grow, they watched you. And even though you would get mad at the person, sooner or later y'all would be talking happily as if it never happened. Then one day they told you something that got you so mad you didn't know what to do....I understand.
    Recently I've been a little sick. Low grade fever, nausea, head aches nothing serious. But because of that I didn't go to my dad's until yesterday. My yesterday was Monday as I'm writing this Tuesday. Anyhow I also haven't seen someone, someone I grew up with, in about three weeks. This hadn't bothered me because most of the time, she doesn't present herself to be the figure I'm my life she should. She's older, yet I'm more mature. She has her own choices, yet I make mime better.
    You see, she's hit a rebellious teenage faze that I'm hoping will end soon. She's made a few bad decisions lately. She sneaked out twice, and both times did something vulgar. No she didn't have sex, but she told me that she could have. I'm glad she didn't. But I don't think she understands how disgusting the choices she made are.
I'm merely hoping this faze ends before she looses her maidenhood.  And when she told me, I was to confused to do the right thing. Tell her it was wrong. So I did what I always do. Put my mask on, and hide the emotions trying to escape.
   There were so many things going threw me. Horror, disgust, disappointment. I don't know how to say...that I'm scared. Scared for her. Scared for the one who laughed when I fell and got hurt. Scared for the one who didn't believe me when I needed most. Scared for the one who failed at a proper bond between us. I'm scared for her. I want to be able to stop the things she did, I want so badly to undo them. But I can't. So instead I lock myself away. Hoping that maybe next time I come out of the covers, the world is a better place.
    My Internet friends brother is out of the hospital. My bffeal is away from the nasty things she around. The person I grew up with, isn't doing the disgusting actions she is. My father isn't swearing. And I'm not stuck in all of this and more...and hiding it all. Keeping it to myself. Breaking down, hearing voices, treating my skin as if it was paper. Hiding away in my room, using my silence and darkness as a friend. I just want a better place at least for those around me...even if it means I still suffer. I'll do it.

Anyway I've let out what I needed so um...how are y'all? And here's the question...
    What's the most awkward thing you've ever had happen in class?
Mine was when I was wearing a clip on be a, and I was itching my back. I accidentally unclipped it. Yeah I had to run to the bathroom...

||update|| my dad's making me wear bright sucky @$$ colours and I hate it.

||update two|| the cabin I'm vacationing just got wifi today....I got here 8 minutes ago....boss