Chapter

I sat down next to him. I didn't say anything and he ignored me too. The tension in the air was suffocating, taking my breath away. I took out my laptop like he did. It was a free hour, but we were forced to sit here to work on the project. He had books in front of him and didn't acknowledge me. I started working too, fighting the urge to walk away. I started looking for information about the sun by Christianity and Islam, since we would only do these two religions. I wanted to start with Islam, especially since I still wanted to prove Noah wrong about his vision of Islam. I typed in on Google 'Islam about the sun' and was scrolling through everything. I found a website that looked trustworthy and started reading it. I actually thought I wouldn't find anything since these religion were very old.

"Blessed is the One Who placed the constellations in heaven and placed therein a lamp and a moon giving light." (sura 25, verse 61)

"Did you see how God created seven heavens one above an other and made the moon a light therein and made the sun a lamp?" (sura 71, 15-16)

"We have built above you seven strong (heavens) and placed a blazing lamp." (sura 78, verses 12-13)

'One of the things that prove that Quran is the words of Allah, is that it informs us of scientific facts that no one could have possibly known about when Quran was sent 1400 years ago. The information provided in Quran about the Sun is just one of these amazing miracles'.

My eyes widened a little bit. I was reading through so much information that was new to me. All these pages were talking about how the information given in the Quran were scientifically proven right. It was so weird to see that. I was expecting some stories like in the Bible that were so contradicting. I looked beside me, seeing that Noah was taking out his headphones. He didn't look my way and I felt really left out, even though I was used to that feeling. After a few seconds I heard music from beside me, realising that it came from Noah. I looked around and saw a few other groups working. They were conversing and laughing every now and then, what made me feel like it was my fault. There must be something wrong with me. Why couldn't anyone just get along with me? Seda was pretty much out of the picture. My family doesn't see me as family after what Black did. Black had rejected me since the beginning. Noah was sometimes nice but we argued a lot. It was my fault- there was no other explanation. I tried to concentrate on the screen of my laptop but it didn't work. I felt miserable, as if nothing I did was right. I listened to Noah's music indirectly. He was listening to five seconds of summer. 'tell me, is it even worth it?', 'all the crossed wires, just making us tired. Is it too late to bring us back to life?', 'when I close my eyes and try to sleep, I fall apart, I'm fighting hard to breathe. You're the reason, the only reason'. I couldn't take it anymore. I saved everything I had done and started packing quickly. Noah threw me a quick glance but didn't say anything. I put my laptop in my bag along with my books and, literally, ran out of the classroom. I knew that I looked like a weirdo but I knew that I would've lost it if I stayed. I ran towards the bathroom and locked myself in one of the toilets. I let a few tears fall. The feeling of having no one around you was getting worse each day. Especially after you had good time with someone you thought was trustworthy. I did trust him, I still would, but knowing that I was alone in the whole letter crap was getting on my nerves. It was draining me, frustrating me- making me weak. I had this facade of being strong and uncaring around me, but deep down it was hard to act like that all day. I heard a knock on the toilet and I wiped my tears away.

"Nila, its me Patricia. I know you are in there. Are you okay?" I heard a voice. I thought of who Patricia was and remembered that she was new. She stood up for me once. That time when Noah also stood up for her. And not me..

I wiped my eyes again before unlocking the door. I went out and she was looking at me with concerned eyes. I mentally rolled my eyes and went over to wash my hands, ignoring her presence. She came and stood next to me.

"Did you fight with Noah?" she asked me. I looked at her through the mirror, raising an eyebrow. Ignoring her again, I wiped my hands dry and wanted to walk out of there but she stopped me. I turned around, feeling that she gave off a bad vibe.

"You know, you can talk to me" she said, leaving my arm. I took a step back, not liking that she was sticking her nose into my business.

"Thanks, but I'm okay" I told her. I wanted to walk out but she stopped me.

"I saw you guys fight. Did you two break up? Why is Noah working alone?" she said, coming into my personal space with her questions. I straightened myself before taking a step closer.

"I think you should teach yourself what personal space is and how you cannot ask people what has been going on in their lives. Before you spread any rumours, no, me and Noah have never been together and won't be. Why is he working alone? Go ask him. Let's see if he replies" I said to her in a harsh tone. Who did she think she was? I only talked once with her and she was already trying her way into my life. Not happening. I walked out of the bathroom, slamming the door to let her know that I didn't like it and walked away towards the door. I saw Noah outside, smoking. That was the first time I saw him smoking. I didn't think he did that, but in the end, he is Black's best friend and all of his friends smoke. I looked around seeing no one so I neared towards him. He noticed me and raised an eyebrow, thinking of why I was walking towards him with an angry face. I grabbed his cigarette and threw it on the floor before I pushed him.

"What the heck?" he replied, steadying himself. I pushed him again.

"Are you telling people that we have been dating?!" I hissed at him. He looked at me in confusion. I pushed him again, wanting an answer.

"Answer me!" I snapped, being irritated by him only looking at me like that. He then grabbed my arm and took a few steps forward, making me automatically take a few back. He was so near, so I threw my head back a little so there would be space between us.

"Who said that?" he asked me in a stone tone. I was a little perplexed since I hadn't heard his voice like that.

"Screw that, did you really believe I would spread something like that though? Why would I do that to myself? I once told you that you are on a whole different game, let alone level" he said, his eyes darken to dark blue. Black touched his eye, meaning that the storm was about to come again, just like last time. I released my arm from his grip and took a few steps back.

"This girl comes up to me, asking if we did break up, asking questions about you that I could care less about, and you try to say that you haven't been saying anything? Last time I checked you were the one who protected her from my psychotic brother. Why wouldn't you mess with me? I mean, I am the girl you despise so much" I said, trying to control my voice. I didn't need my voice to weaken. I couldn't show him that his words hurt so much.

"Maybe you are the one who spread it? Since you enjoy making up things in that pretty little head of yours. Let me remember, didn't you also make up that Black had stabbed you?" he said, gritting his teeth. My eyes widened. He didn't. He didn't. Tears prickled my eyes but I fought them away. I lifted up my shirt a little, revealing the side of my stomach, just below my belly button. The start of a huge mark was there. The mark went up to above my belly button but I wasn't going to show him that. He looked at it with wide eyes and I thought I saw emotion in his cold eyes but they were replaced back immediately.

"I know I shouldn't tell you this since you won't believe me, but I do this for myself. I was sixteen. I had just turned sixteen. He was mad, mad about I don't know what again. I never fit in- nowhere and with no one. He had always been a bully in my life without telling me the reason. This is a reminder of me standing up against myself for the first time. I was silent when he abused me. I was silent when he scolded at me, swore at me- I was silent when he made my life miserable. This was the first time I had enough, the first time I had courage to stand up. This is what I got in return. He stabbed me with this huge knife that he had in his room for some strange reason. Twenty-eight stitches. Twenty-eight. I can't eat and drink much since my stomach was so damaged that they had to take out a part of it. He almost cut my lungs, which could have killed me. Me surviving this was a miracle for the doctors, but Hell for me. Even though I can't care, I hope you do believe me. Goodbye Noah" I said, letting the tears fall. I walked out of there as fast as I could, not knowing why I let it all out. Maybe it was because I was full and there was only one way to be okay again. Explode. 

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Random Interesting Fact: the stabbing part was actually one time in another book of mine that I deleted, but that idea is still genius to me so I put it in here lol

NOAH WAS SO MEAN WHAZ WRONG WIF HIM