You kept tapping at the space button, each click grating on your nerves, but you had no idea what else to do. Everywhere else you had looked had turned up dead ends, and you were beginning to lose hope that you would ever find Dean. 

After you had returned from your excursion to see Rowena and her needs for her spell, Sam and you had once again returned to the bunker. Sam had sat down at one of the tables, his dad's journal in front of him, his cell phone glued to his ear as he dialed each and everyone of the hunters that they knew of. You could only watch as his eyes grew darker, his shoulders slumping as each phone call came back with the same negative answer. 

Without saying a word, you stood up and poured him a glass of whiskey, setting it down in front of him. He glanced up briefly at you, his hazel eyes somber and full of frustration. "We will find him." You told him, but you weren't sure either of you believed it.

Sitting down at your own table, you had pulled over Sam's laptop, opening up the search engine, but your mind drew a blank. What did you type when looking for your dangerous, and cursed boyfriend? You had started easy, looking for murders that had happened recently. After over an hour of going though page after page of gruesome death stories, you knew this was no way to find Dean. Even if some looked like they could be by Dean's hand, it wasn't enough to go by. 

"Found anything?" Sam asked from behind you, startling you enough that you jumped in your chair, almost spilling the lukewarm beer that sat forgotten beside you. You shook your head as he walked by, another glass of whiskey in his hand. "Neither have I."

Using a trick that Sam had taught you, you started hacking into the databases of police departments in surrounding towns, hoping that Dean wouldn't have gotten too far away by now. Starting at the closest one, you looked for anything out of the ordinary, clicking through each police report. It was a long and torturous job, one that didn't seem to be doing any good.

Finally deciding to give up for a little bit you stood up. It was either give up for now or throw the laptop through the room, and you were pretty sure Sam would take offense at that. Stomping into the kitchen, you opened the fridge, frowning at the selection of food in front of you. Or lack of selection. The shelves were mostly bare, and what happened to be on them was covered in mold. Wrinkling your nose in disgust, you grabbed the trashcan, dumping everything into it, before grabbing a simple granola bar from the cupboard, along with a Pepsi. Feeling a little more settled after something in your belly, you grabbed another bar for Sam before heading back out into the library.

You stopped short when you saw that Sam was on the phone, and he actually seemed a little hopeful. Tossing him the granola bar, you perched onto the edge of the table, listening to his side of the conversation.

"So, you say Dean is working a hunt?" Sam replied, and your heart started pounding faster at the thought that you might have finally found him.

"What? It was your hunt, and he took over?" Sam asked, and you shrugged. It seemed like something Dean would do, especially with the Mark controlling him.

"Yeah, he's not in a good place right now." Sam said, before listening to the other end once again. "Yeah, I get it. I will head up there. But do me a favor. Just drop the hunt, let Dean have it. Please." He said before hanging up and turning to face you.

"Someone saw Dean?" You asked him, waiting until his mouth was empty of the granola bar. 

He nodded. "Yeah, one of my Dad's old hunting buddies. Said he had this case, and Dean showed up, taking over without asking. Now Dean's acting like a total dick to him, the police and the victims." 

You sighed, knowing this couldn't be good. "But he hasn't killed anyone yet?" You asked, looking for a bright spot in this dark chapter of your life that seemed to be happening right now.

"Not yet. But it doesn't sound good. At least now we know where he is." Sam said, standing up and you joined him.

"And where is that?" 

"About four hours from here. We need to get going, stop him before he hurts anyone." Sam said, and you nodded. 

"I have a bag packed. I'm ready to go." You said, leading the way to the garage.

______________________

The road trip was quiet and awkward, nothing like the usual road trips with either of the Winchesters. Both you and Sam were busy thinking about what you would find ahead of you. You had so much pent up energy and emotions, that your leg couldn't stop bouncing, and you saw Sam look at it multiple times but never saying a word. You were worried, and more than a little scared. You had wanted to find Dean, especially with the cure so close to being completed. But now that that time was coming, you weren't sure you were ready for it.

The last time you had seen Dean, he had been dangerously close to killing you, and Cas. You were afraid that he would take one look at you and try to end your life once again. You were also afraid he would go after Sam once again, okay with killing his brother if that meant he was free. And you weren't sure you would be enough help to stop him if he did try that. Because you weren't sure, no matter how evil he became, that you could kill Dean. You didn't want that asked of you.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked, jolting you out of your sad and depressing thoughts.

You shook your head, knowing you could tell Sam anything. "Not really. I'm scared. Scared he will try to kill both of us, that one of us will have to try to stop him, or kill him."

Sam sighed, before patting you on the shoulder. "Don't worry. I know the Mark is controlling him, but deep down, I know Dean needs the cure. He wants it. We just have to make him realize it." 

You nodded, watching as Sam drove the pitted road to the crime scene. You knew you probably wouldn't find Dean there, but Sam's hunter friend had said to meet him there. You were in the forest, and a small clearing was in front of you, a small cabin sitting in the middle. Sam pulled up to a cop car, looking around in confusion. "I would have thought they would have called off the police." Sam muttered, more to himself than anything.

You nodded, moving to slide out of the car, but Sam stopped you. "Why don't you stay here. We both know Dean's probably not in there. I'll go get some information, and then we will be gone."

You nodded, needing the time to compose yourself. Something seemed wrong, horribly wrong, and you were glad you didn't have to go into that small cabin.

Police officers were moving back and forth, giving you curious glances but leaving you alone. It was about ten minutes later when Sam came back out, his face ashen and you could tell he was shaken to the core.

"Sam what is it? What happened?" You asked him as he slumped into the chair. He leaned back, closing his eyes, his entire body showing how stressed he was.

"Dean, he..." Sam started, but whatever it was, he seemed to have trouble finding the words.

"It's alright." You said, not wanting to push him, but his eyes snapped open at your words, and he turned to glare at you, his anger directed your way for the first time you could ever remember.

"No it's not." He yelled. "My brother is out there, killing people, and I can't seem to stop him! Do you want to know what happened? Dean was here, and so were the vamps, along with Fred, the other hunter. Dean toyed with the vamps, who were holding Fred hostage, and in the end he got Fred killed. He then proceeded to kill the vamps, right in front of the hostage, never giving a crap about her."

"Sam." You started, but never finished. You weren't sure what to say, you were too horrified but what he had just told you.

He slumped forward, his head resting on the steering wheel. He started talking, and you could barely make out his words. "I think it's too late. I think my brother's gone for good."