"Y/N, I will be back for you. And when I do come back I will finish what I started." Dean whispered as he ran a knife along your cheek, but before you could feel the pain you woke with a start. Sitting straight up in bed, your heart beating out of your chest, you tried to catch your breath. It wasn't the first time you've had a dream like that. They had ended a long time ago, after Dean had been cured from being a Demon. But seeing him so cold hearted, his aggression towards you must have brought them back.

Trembling from the fear of remembering Dean's cold and lifeless eyes, you slid out of bed, the tile cold on your bare feet. Using one of Dean's old flannels as a robe, you slipped it on before making your way into the darkened hallway of the bunker. You weren't sure if Sam was even back at the bunker, he was spending most of his time at the warehouse, forcing Rowena to translate a spell.

It was two days after that conversation with Sam, and you were still on the fence. At one point you had given up on, intent on staying as far away from Dean as possible. Hell, you had even started packing a bag, the decision to move as far away from the bunker as possible cemented in your mind. But as you carried the heavy bag towards the garage, nagging thoughts kept your mind full and your feet from moving. How could you turn your back on Dean, now when he needed you the most? Dean had always been there for you, saving you, loving you, even when you tried to push him away. What type of person would you be if you just walked away and didn't try to save him.

Of course there was the argument, he's almost killed you, multiple times. If you did try to find him, and help him, what's to say that you didn't end up on a funeral pyre like Charlie? 

You're bag was still packed, laying on the dresser, tormenting you. Telling you life would be so much easier if you just grabbed it and walked away. You could leave behind the life of hunting, settle down, find a nice nine to five job. 

Sam hadn't bugged you again, giving you plenty of space and time to make up your own mind, but when you had happened to run into him when he was leaving the kitchen, his look was one of pity and disappointment. It hurt, to see your friend disappointed in you. You had given him a shy smile before making your way into the kitchen, looking for a bottle of whiskey. Whiskey, or any type of alcohol had been your only constant, helping you sleep. It couldn't keep the nightmares from Dean away, but it did offer you the oblivion you were so desperately trying to find.

But this morning, things felt different. You hadn't used alcohol last night to sleep, and even though the nightmares of Dean had still come, you weren't as fazed by them. Your packed bag on the dresser didn't tempt you quite as much, and you knew the time had come to finally make a decision.

You could see a light shining from in the kitchen, and you glanced around the corner, a little relieved to see Sam sitting at the table. What you didn't like was the fact that his head was in his hands, his shoulders stooped, an empty coffee cup in front of him. He looked utterly defeated, and you felt bad that you had been so self centered that you hadn't even considered what he was going through.

"Sam?" You questioned quietly, and he shot up, a little embarrassed to be found like that.

"Hey Y/N. Don't worry, I'm just heading out." He mumbled, going to stand up, but you shook your head, placing your hand on his shoulder.

"Stay. Please." You requested, and he listened.

Pouring yourself a cup of coffee, you sat down next to him, letting the strong aroma of the coffee soothe you. "Sam, I just want to say how sorry I am. I haven't been a good friend to you, or a good girlfriend to Dean."

"But Y/N, what you've gone through." He interrupted you.

"So? You've gone through so much. Losing a brother, getting him back, but as a Demon. Having to do the cure, and now dealing with the Mark. I'm sorry I haven't been here to help you out as much as I should. But that's all going to change." You told him, watching his eyes widen in surprise. 

"Y/N, you don't need to. Besides, Rowena's translated the spell, and I'm not sure we will ever be able to find all the ingredients. And I haven't been able to find Dean at all. You would just be joining a losing battle." He argued, but you could see a slight shimmer of hope in his eyes at having someone else on board.

"She did? Why didn't you tell me? Oh never mind, I know why. But what are the ingredients? And, maybe I can do some research, try to find Dean for you. Please, let me help." You pleaded.

You could see Sam was ready to have you on board, but he was still a little hesitant. "Are you sure? Because I remember you saying you weren't sure you could do this anymore. And I saw your bag all packed and ready to go. I don't want you doing this just because of me."

"I'm sure. I've used the past couple of days to think, and to give myself time to heal. And I've come to the conclusion that I don't want to give up on Dean. I want to fight to get him back. Because that's what he would do for me. And I don't want to give up on you, and helping you. You're my friend, and I can't imagine life without you." You told him, watching as his face lit up in a huge smile. He stood up and came over to you, pulling you into a deep hug.

"Thank you so much." He whispered into your hair. "I really need to get back to the warehouse. Do you want to come with me?" 

"Sure. And on the way you can explain all about this spell, and what these mysterious ingredients are." You told him.

He nodded. "Sounds like a plan. Why don't you go hop in the shower, and get ready to go. Because Y/N, you need one." He teased you, pinching his nose as if you stunk. Which you probably did, because you hadn't had much energy to take care of yourself lately.

You bounded out the hallway, your energy once again refreshed after making a decision. You knew it was the right decision, and you were certain it was the one you were planning on making all this time. You had just needed time for yourself, to heal. You knew you weren't completely healed, it would take a long time for that. But the first step was right in front of, and that was helping Sam get all the ingredients for the spell.