Many people didn't understand what Twilight was going through and the sad thing was that Twilight didn't understand it either. It was stressful for her to try to explain what was going on inside of her head, so when people asked her how she was doing, she always replied with, "I'm fine." 

   Twilight had it all- or so people around Canterlot High said. She had the best friends a girl could ask for, her teachers thought nothing but the best of her, and she always saved the day from threats that might come from Equestria. 

   However, Twilight couldn't help but have doubts. She had dark thoughts frequently and she knew she should have been scared of them, but she wasn't. In fact, she welcomed them. 

   Twilight still believed all of the words that those in Crystal Prep had called her. Twilight still had doubts about her looks, her talents, her friends being there for her, and even her own intelligence, even though everybody else praised her for being one of the brightest minds in Canterlot High. 

    Nevertheless, Twilight didn't want to burden anybody, especially her friends, with her problems, so she decided that it was better to hide them. The thoughts inside of her head even convinced her that burdening her friends this way would cause the Magic of Friendship to not work and it'd be all her fault if they couldn't defeat a future threat. 

   Sighing and plastering a fake smile on her face, Twilight retrieved her lunch from her locker and made her way to the cafeteria. Once she got there, she found her friends and sat in her usual spot beside them. 

    "Yay, Twilight, you're here!" Pinkie Pie said. "We were beginning to wonder if you were absent today." 

    Twilight forced a smile. "No, I'm here alright."

   "We're glad to see ya, sugarcube!" Applejack exclaimed. "How are ya, Twi?"

    "I'm doing fine," Twilight replied. She could feel a pang of sadness in her heart as she said those words. "How are the rest of you?"

   "I'm great!" Pinkie Pie squealed. She motioned to everybody around the cafeteria. "Look at all of these smiling faces! It's a happy, sunshiny day!"

    Twilight smiled once more. "It is a pretty nice day today."

   "Ah'm doing well too," Applejack added. "We've finally finished the harvest down at Sweet Apple Acres and we're about to do Cider Season in about two weeks."

   "Which is also why I'm pretty hyped," Rainbow Dash told them. "I mean, how could you not be doing well when you have the Apple family's cider to look forward to?"

   Everyone chuckled at that.

   "Why, thank you, Rainbow," Applejack said. "That's mighty kind of ya."

   "And I've got magnificent news!" Rarity exclaimed in excitement. "I've been asked to design outfits for the upcoming Light Festival at Equestria Land!"

   "Oh my gosh, seriously?" Rainbow Dash asked.

   "Yes!" Rarity squealed, happily. "I absolutely cannot wait! Everybody on those parade floats are going to look tres chic!" 

   "I have no doubt about it," Twilight said. 

   Rarity put a hand over her heart and smiled, "Aww, thank you, Twilight. You're such a dear."

   "I'm doing well too!" Sunset Shimmer told them. "In fact, I've started volunteering at a center on Fridays."

   "Ooh, like an animal shelter?" Fluttershy wondered, eagerly. "I volunteer there every Wednesday by handing out flyers and on Thursday by walking the dogs." 

   "Um... not exactly," Sunset Shimmer said, her eyes darting back and forth. "Just... a center. I don't think it'd really benefit you girls if I told you."

   "We understand," Fluttershy said.

   The others made sounds of agreement and Sunset Shimmer smiled. 

    "Anyway, I was wondering if you girls would like to meet up for milkshakes at Sugarcube Corner after school?" Sunset Shimmer offered. "It has been awhile since we've all done that and-"

   "Dude, sign me up!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "I love the milkshakes at Sugarcube Corner!"

   "Me too!" Pinkie Pie claimed. 

   "I'd love to go and spend time with you girls," Rarity said.

    "Ooh, milkshakes sound lovely," Fluttershy claimed.

   "Count me in!" Applejack chimed in.

   "What about you, Twilight?" Sunset Shimmer asked. "Are you coming?"

   "Oh! Um... milkshakes at Sugarcube Corner?" Twilight asked. "Uh... sure. What time are you thinking?"

    "Maybe about five?" Sunset Shimmer suggested. "How does that sound to everyone?"

   Everyone made sounds of agreement.

   "Perfect!" Sunset Shimmer said. "We'll all meet at Sugarcube Corner around five and spend the evening together."

    As lunch pressed forward, Twilight continued the facade of happiness. She didn't understand why she felt this way. She didn't want her friends to be upset that she was ungrateful for their support, so she pretended to be happy just like she wanted to be. To keep up the act, Twilight would laugh at jokes all of her other friends thought were funny, smile at Pinkie Pie's antics- even though they did bring a genuine one to her, but it was short-lived, and even try to add her usual input into the conversation. Whenever she did though, the words didn't come out the way Twilight hoped they would and Twilight would hear voices in her head chastising her for saying it. 

    'This is proof that you're not as smart as everyone thinks you are', they'd say. 'You're so pathetic. You're useless. Your friends don't need your input every five seconds. Just shut up.'

   Although, despite her thoughts, Twilight kept pushing forward. If her friends found out that she was going through this, it might be the end of the Magic of Friendship for good. Twilight wasn't about to be the reason that happened. 

                                                                                                     *** 

   Twilight was preparing to go out for milkshakes with her friends. Twilight was afraid she was beginning to act like Rarity with how much she was fretting over an outfit, but she didn't want her friends to judge her on her looks like the students in Crystal Prep had.

   Crystal Prep had uniforms. She didn't need to wear the uniform anymore, though that brought more pressure to Twilight to try to look better than before. 

   The mirror wasn't being very kind to Twilight. Every time she looked in the mirror, little thoughts would appear in her mind. You look ugly in that shirt. Your hair is too frizzy. You'd look so much better without glasses.

  Twilight sighed. The last thing she wanted to do was be late and disappoint her friends, so she settled on a purple and blue striped polo shirt, a dark violet miniskirt with her favorite symbol upon it, a small pink-red ribbon that she tied underneath her magical purple geode, blue ankle socks, and a pair of blue sneakers with pink-red laces. Twilight pulled her hair up into a messy ponytail, held it together with a clip of her favorite symbol, and and adjusted her black glasses. She frowned. 'Still not good enough', the voices cried. But she was running out of time and Twilight knew she had to be at Sugarcube Corner quickly.

   She ran downstairs and called out to her parents, "I'll be at Sugarcube Corner! I love you!"

   "Love you too, Twilight!" her mother called back.

   Twilight rushed out the front door to the driveway where she had parked her small, purple car. 'Your friends don't care about you. They just want your Element of Harmony. Why are you going?', the voices asked. 

   Twilight shook her head and tried to shut the voices out. She climbed into her car and sped off towards Sugarcube Corner.

                                                                                                             ***

    As Twilight entered Sugarcube Corner, she spotted Sunset Shimmer in the corner by herself. She was texting on her cell phone and Twilight could only assume she was texting the others.

   Twilight joined Sunset Shimmer at her table. Sunset Shimmer looked up and grinned. "Oh, Twilight! There you are! I was beginning to get worried nobody was going to show up. But you're almost on time."

   'Failure', the voices hissed in Twilight's head. Twilight tried to ignore them, but she was already feeling rotten.

   "Really?" Twilight asked. "Where are the others?"

   "Sending a group text right now," Sunset Shimmer replied. Her phone chimed. "Oh! Looks like Fluttershy texted back. She says she's sorry she's running late. There's traffic. Okay! So they're probably all running late because the road is backed up."

   "Hmm, we're lucky we beat rush hour, huh?" Twilight said with a giggle.

   Sunset Shimmer nodded in agreement. "Definitely!" 

   After ten minutes had gone by, the others rushed through the door and joined Sunset Shimmer and Twilight at the table.

   "Sorry we're late!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed. "Traffic was cuh-razy!"

   "No worries," Sunset Shimmer reassured. "Care to have a seat? You can all tell me which milkshakes you want and I'll order for you."

   "Okay, but we're pitching in with the pay," Rainbow Dash insisted. 

   The others set their share of money on the table after telling Sunset Shimmer what she wanted. While Sunset Shimmer went off to order the milkshakes, the six of them began to chat. 

   "So what's up?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Anything happen after school?"

   "Zephyr happened," Fluttershy mumbled with a shake of her head.

   "Oh, yeah," Rainbow Dash said through gritted teeth. "Zephyr Breeze approached Fluttershy and I after school and tried to flirt with me again. I swear, that guy has no respect for personal space." 

   "Ugh, he can be such a pill," Rarity agreed. "What did you two do to get rid of him?"

   "I didn't," Fluttershy answered. "He's my brother, so I just told him that Mom and Dad wanted us home. Stat." 

   "Twilight, you've been awfully quiet ever since we've arrived," Applejack noticed. "Everything alright?"

   Twilight was jarred from her thoughts and stared at her friends concerned expressions. The voices began to come back, 'They're pretending to care about you. You're worthless. They don't love you. They keep you around for your magic. All you are is a burden. Your friends are annoyed by you. They think you're ugly. They think you're untalented. They think you're stupid. Just face it. You'll never be enough for them. They deserve the world and you don't.'

    The voices were overpowering and Twilight almost had to strain to hear her own voice. Twilight bit her lip to hold back the tears and plastered on the best smile she could muster. "I'm fine. Just... not much on my mind I guess." But there is, Twilight thought. There's too much on my mind.

  "Well... uh, let's talk about something you'd like," Applejack suggested. "How about those finals, huh? Ugh, they're making my head hurt, but I'm sure you're enjoying studies, Twilight."

   Twilight didn't want to admit she lost interest in her studies since she didn't feel intelligent enough, so she lied, "Oh, yes. All of the topics are very interesting. Sure glad that the Revolutionary War allowed us to become a free country!" 

   "Ooh, all of those history facts are too much for my noggin!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed. "Maybe you could come over to my house and help me study, Twily?"

   Twilight was caught off-guard by the use of her nickname since her brother was the only one who usually used it, but she decided she was fine with Pinkie Pie using it. Pinkie had a lot of pet names. "I'd love to help you study," she told her.

   "Yay!" Pinkie Pie cheered. "Could you come over tomorrow after school?"

   Twilight shrugged. "I don't have any plans."

   "Alright! I'm sure to get a 100% on the test with your help!"

   The voices began to taunt Twilight once more. 'You're going to make Pinkie Pie fail. You've been doing awful with your own studies. How can you help your friends?'

  Twilight laughed nervously. "Don't count on it."

   "Aw, come on, Twily! Don't sell yourself short! Your'e sooooo smart!" 

   Sunset Shimmer finally returned to the table with everybody's milkshakes. "Alright, I've got a milkshake for everyone! Green apple surprise for AJ."

   "Hoo-wee! Looks delicious! Thanks, Sunset."

   "Pineapple delight for Fluttershy."

   "Ooh, thank you, Sunset."

   "Banana split for Pinkie Pie."

   "Yum yum! Thanks, Sunset!"

   "Tropical burst for Rainbow."

   "Alright! Thanks, Sunset."

   "French vanilla for Rarity."

   "Thank you, Sunset, dear."

   "And of course, a Midnight Raspberry for Twilight."

   "Thank you, Sunset. That means a lot."

   "You're welcome!" Sunset Shimmer said. "For me, I ordered their new Sunset Radiance."

   "Ooh, does it taste like the sunset?" Pinkie Pie asked. She put her finger to her chin in thought for a moment. "What do sunsets taste like?"

   "From what Mrs Cake told me, it's supposed to be a mix of orange, mango, and banana," Sunset answered. "Thought I'd try something new." 

   Throughout the night, the girls enjoyed each other's company. But the voices in Twilight's head were so loud. The mask was beginning to slip and she despised it. 

   Finally, at the end of the night, the girls said their goodbyes and left. Pinkie Pie asked for clarification on Twilight coming over to help her study and Twilight confirmed it. Pinkie Pie cheered and threw her arms around Twilight.

   Now Twilight was in her car, driving back home. Twilight sighed and let the mask slip from her face. She felt tears begin to pour out of her eyes. She was exhausted and she felt so worthless. Even darker thoughts crept into her mind. 'If you just died, it would stop the pain,' the voices claimed. 

   Twilight knew she should have searched for help right then and there. But the thought of dying sounded like an escape from all of her misery. It was all she could ask for.

(A/N: Alright and I am back with another chapter of this story! And holy frick, like, writing this thing is bringing me to tears. I've never had depression myself, so writing from an outsider's point of view is pretty difficult, but I've had friends who've gone through this sort of hell and it reminds me of them. 

I just had a friend commit suicide recently. Since he's dead, I feel like talking about him a little bit since I miss him a lot. His name was Ryan. He was a tall, dark-skinned African-American with dark curly hair. He had the most beautiful light brown eyes that just shined with light. Hearing that he killed himself caught me so off-guard because we didn't even know he suffered from suicidal thoughts. I'm still so sad about it and I'm not done grieving yet, but writing about it definitely is a way to help me cope.

Don't worry about me. I'm a strong girl and I'm not just telling sob stories on the internet. Talking about Ryan brings a smile to my face and that's why I'm typing this. 

But I've had some freaky dreams about Ryan that make me afraid to sleep at night and that's why I've been posting chapters so late recently. I know I have some people from outside of the USA reading this, so I probably post more in the morning or afternoon where they come from, but over here, it's around 4:30 in the morning. 

I don't even know if people read this bold part and you don't have to, but if you don't mind, I'd like to explain the dreams a bit just to help me calm down a bit. So in these nightmares, Ryan is standing there just smiling at me. However, it's not one of his warm, calming smiles. It looks the same as his warm, calming smiles, but it gives me an unsettling feeling. I always call out to him trying to get him to talk to me, but he won't. He just keeps smiling. Then I run over to him. He doesn't move. He's frozen solid. Almost as if he's paralyzed. Then I'll reach for his hand to hold it and when I do, his hand is ice cold. Like, frigid. It feels like he became an Ice Prince or something. Then I'll wake up and I won't be able to go back to sleep.

So sorry if these chapters seem a little weird with pacing. I haven't been sleeping well lately. I miss Ryan, but I am trying my best to move on for his sake. I'm writing this story not to convince others to commit suicide, but to convince them not to. I hope this story can help others who are feeling like there's no hope to keep pressing forward. Because trust me. When you die, someone's world is going to be shattered. When Ryan died, my world was shattered and I'm having a hard time picking up the pieces. So please stay strong and thank you for your amazing support! <3)