You guys are going to like this chapter. But let's put a slight trigger warning on it... Just in case. Mentions of suicide and depression.

Emily's POV:

I used to think about killing myself, all the time. I didn't think that anyone cares about me, except Two-Bit and maybe Soda. That they wouldn't really care if I was gone. But now as I stand here, waiting for the doctors to tell us if Lexi is going to be ok, I know I've made the right choice not to go through with it.

It's been an hour, and nobody's come to tell us what's going on. Nobody's seen Nora since she ran out, either. After a few stunned seconds, I went to sit next to Two-Bit. That was when they carried Lexi out. We all sit there in silence until someone tells Two-Bit that it's time to go. He, Darry, Pony and Steve all stand. So do I. But at the same time I almost fall into my big brothers arms.

"I don't want you to go, Two," I whisper, hugging him. He gives me a sad smile.

"I know, Emmi. I'll be back tomorrow, same time, though. Ok?" He asks me, talking like I'm a little kid. I just nod, watching Steve and Della saying goodbye to eachother.

I start to walk away, back into my room, but Steve stopped me.

"What do you want?" I ask him. I'm still mad at him. If it wasn't for him and his games I wouldn't be in this stupid hospital.

"I just wanted to know... Della gets out of the hospital next week. Do you think it would be ok if I asked her out when she does?" He asks. My mouth drops open.

"Excuse me? After what we had you want to date one of my friends?" I ask.

He sighs. "Give it up, Emily. We just kissed a few times. We didn't have anything and you know it," He says. I can't explain why, but I suddenly feel like I've been punched. I thought it meant something to him... Tears form in my eyes, but I blink them away quickly. I don't care about Steve, I care about my boyfriend Soda, who's out there fighting for our country as we speak.

"Yeah, you're right, Steve. It wasn't anything. And who knows, if I let you ask my friend out maybe you'll be saying the same thing about her in a few weeks," I say, my voice barely a whisper.

"But this is different... I really like this girl, Em," He fights.

"B-but... Does this mean you didn't like me?" I ask. Steve just sighs.

"You know what, Emily? This is too complicated. I don't know why any of that stuff even matters anymore. I really like Della, ok? When she gets out of the hospital next week, I'm going to ask her out. No matter what," He says, then storms away.

"Yeah... Sure," I whisper. But he's already gone. That's when Darry comes over to me.

"Hey, Em, before I forget, we got this letter came from Soda's troop. We thought you should be the first one to open it," Darry says, holding it out for me. I hold it in my hands, staring at the envelope. This isn't the same kind of letter he sent me last time. That one came from him directly. This one isn't...

"Maybe he's coming home!" I say, cheerfully. Darry smiles.

"Man, I hope so. Why don't you open it and see?" He suggests. But right as I'm tearing it open, a horrible thought occurs to me. What if he got hurt? What if he's dead? What if I was just getting my hopes up over nothing and this letter is giving us the worst news imaginable?

"D-do I have to right now?" I ask him. I'd rather open it in private, just in case.

"I guess not. Just tell us what it says when we come back tomorrow," He says. I nod.

After that we quickly say our goodbyes, and they leave. Now it's just Della and I.

"Do you think Lexi's ok?" I ask her, worriedly. She nods.

"Yeah, she's a tough cookie. She'll be fine," Is her response. But I can't tell if she means it. Lexi is tough, I agree with that 100%, but she looked pretty horrible the last time we saw her.

"I hope so," I whisper and Della gives me a small, reassuring smile.

"Soo... What do you think of Steve?" She asks me after a moment.

"What do you mean?" I respond. What does she want me to think of him?

"Well... It's just that I kinda like him. Do you think that he likes me?" She asks. I think about my answer for a minute. I could be nice and tell her the truth.... Or save us both from hurt, and just say no. I take a deep breath.

"I... I don't know." I tell her. But I immediately feel guilty for lying to the one friend that I have left.

"Oh. I saw you talking to him a little while ago and I was just wondering. He... He didn't even mention me?" She asks. She sounds sort of hurt. I wait a minute before answering.

"No... no, he did. He just told me not to tell you," I lie even more. She nods.

"Hey, why don't we go hang out in my room for a little while?" She suggests. I nod. Finally, something to take my mind off of all of this.

The only problem? As soon as she turns the door knob, a staff member, who's name is Sarah, runs up to us.

"Girls! Don't go in there!" She yells. Della's eyes widen, as well as mine.

"Why not? That's my room," Della says. Sarah turns to look us both in the eye.

"Girls... I guess it's time we tell you. Why don't we go into Emily's room... You may need to sit down for this," She says. Doing as told, Della and I give each other a look, but stay silent. We both know what this is about... Lexi's gone.

"Della, Emily, this is so hard to say. Alexis and Nora... They're.... Both of them..." Her voice trails off, but I stand up angrily.

"Lexi's dead, isn't she?!" I yell. Sarah nods sadly.

"Nora too... I'm so sorry, girls. I know how close the four of you were," She whispers. Angry, hot tears well in my eyes.

"Get out," I say. It wasn't a demand, and I didn't say it angrily, it sounded more like a request.

"Emily..." Della says, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Please just go, Del. I need to be alone for a little bit," I say, trying to blink back my tears. They still stream down my face, and I want nothing more to be able to control my emotions until I'm alone.

"Yeah, sure. I'll be... around if you need me. Ok?" She asks. I just nod and watch Sarah lead her out.

(A/N: I just want you guys to know that Nora (obsessivecompulsions) and Lexi (alexisissorandom) both wanted to die in this fanfic. It was not my choice.)

As soon as the door closes, I feel the sobs racking through my body. I collapse into my pillow, crying my eyes out.

As soon as I think I'm all cried out, I sit up and go grab a piece of paper and a pen off the top of my dresser.

"Dear Soda,
I'm so done with everything. Remember those girls that I was telling you about in my last letter, Lexi and Nora? Yeah, well they're gone. Both of them are dead. I still have Della, who's amazing, but I feel so totally alone right now. I know you're probably not doing too well, either, being in Vietnam and all, but please please please.... If there's anything you can do, if you can come back now, or give me some reassurance that you will SOON, then I need you to asap. Because right now, I'm so done with everything..."

I spend about a minute writing it, putting my real thoughts and feelings in it-something I could never do if I knew there would be someone else reading it-and then I crumple it up, realizing how selfish I sound. Yeah, I miss him, but he's going through something a lot worse. Something I couldn't even imagine having to do myself...

That's when I remember the letter Darry gave me. Maybe it'll give me the little bit of good news the I need to cheer up some...

I quickly tear it open, but after just reading the first sentence, I break down in sobs worse than finding out that my best friends were gone.

"To the parents or legal guardian of Mr. Sodapop Curtis:
We regret to inform you that..."

And then I couldn't go any further. I ripped the letter in half and cried harder than I ever had before. We've already lost Johnny and Dally... Now Soda too? Now my best friends too?!

What did I ever do to get the universe so mad at me? I find myself wondering as I collapse back onto my bed. After a while, I notice someone talking.

"Emily," A voice says quietly. I look up, wiping my tears.

"Emily?" The voice says again.

"Why are you crying, sweetie?" His voice is comforting, soft, loving. The kind that I would recognize in an instant. Wanna know why? The voice belonged to the one and only.... Sodapop Patrick Curtis.

"Soda!" I exclaim, smiling for the first time in what seems like forever. He sits down on the bed next to me and I feel myself fall into his arms. But for some reason, I just can't feel his embrace.

"Sodapop, you're ok!" I yell, happily.

"Of course I am, Princess. Why wouldn't I be?" He asks, clearly confused.

"The letter that said that you're...." But I can't seem to form any other words. For some reason I just can't finish the sentence. I look up at Soda, but he's not there anymore. I'm still just laying my bed... The exact same way I fell asleep.

"Well, it was nice while it lasted...." I whisper to myself, wiping the last tear left in me as it rolls down my cheek.

A/N: April Fools! I bet you thought I was actually bringing Soda back😂