Killian had his hands clasped as he carefully assessed the pieces left on the chessboard. He planned on making Martin work twice as hard as the last time but it seemed like, yet again, Martin was having the upper hand.

"There. There." Martin goaded him, "Let's put that brain of yours to good use."

Killian laughed,
"No need to stroke my ego."

"Hey, I'm just saying it how it is." Martin warned,

Killian glanced up at him,
"Only you."

"That pretty lass of yours is making you soft."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Well, the least you can do is make me work for it." Martin said, "You're not even trying."

"Hey!" Killian sat up, "I'm doing overtime here."

Martin looked at him,
"Are you?"

Killian wasn't surprised at Martin's snarky comebacks. He'd gotten used to them and he knew Martin was a softie, he just liked to torment him.

"I might as well stop playing now."

"We both know this ends one way," Martin said, "I understand if you can't bear to lose again."

"You would like that, old man."

Martin smiled,
'C'mon, let's wrap this up and get ready for bingo night."

Killian moved his bishop to protect his queen. Martin wasted no time moving his rook out of danger from the bishop almost like he had anticipated Killian's move.

"How's your lass?"

"She's doing alright considering."

"Something happened?"

Killian's jaw ticked and he let out a soft sigh,
"Yea. But she's stronger than I ever gave her credit for."

"Women." Martin said, "They may seem small but they sure are mighty."

"Can't argue with that."

"I'm surprised she hasn't dumped you yet."

Killian laughed aloud,
"Even I know I'm not that bad."

"You're always here, when do you ever have time to spend with her?"

"When I'm not here." Killian said, "She does have her own engagements, now even more than before."

"What? She joined the church choir?"

"She's taking up self-defence training with my sister."

"Ah, that's good." Martin said, "Bonding time with the sister you never talk about."

Killian looked at Martin,
"I talk about her,"

"Once in the time I've known you, and that too, I got the impression you didn't want to."

Killian frowned,
"It's not something I like to talk about."

"You don't say."

He had Killian there,
"I just don't know how to talk about her without feeling regret and powerless."

"I get the impression you went through something."

"She did." Killian said,

"And it affected you."

"It affected my family." Killian said, "And one other."

"And you've spoken to her about this?"

"No," Killian moved another piece, "We don't talk about it. She doesn't like to acknowledge anything from that time. Including me."

Martin moved another piece.

"How so?" Martin asked,

"Well, none of her friends know that she has a brother." Killian said, "And they've all met me."

Martin winced,
"That's harsh."

Killian pumped his brows in a 'tell me about it' way as he moved another piece.

"Have you thought that maybe she's just trying to keep you safe?"

"Safe from what?"

"From whatever she went and is going through."

Killian stared at him.

"From the way you avoid talking about it and the hurt I see when you talk about it, what she went through wasn't something you can just erase." Martin said, "It takes a long time to heal from something deeply scarring."

Martin swallowed,
"When I lost my wife, I didn't think I could ever heal from it." He said, "Even now I haven't healed from it. But it's more bearable because I've figured out how to take the hurt with the good memories we had."

Killian let out a soft sigh, his heart going out to Martin who never brought up the topic of his wife. Killian knew about it, but Martin had never talked about it before. Not once.

"I was once buried in the hurt," Martin said, "I think your sister is still there."

Killian blinked, his heart growing heavy. Killian sometimes forgot that Makenna had gone through losing her best friend as well as what was done to her. Maybe he had detached himself from the situation too much and rather than see things from her perspective, he wasn't able to acknowledge anyone's feelings, including his.

"So maybe the regret and lack of power you feel is what's holding you back."

Martin moved a piece and Killian was too distracted to see Martin was closing in on him.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm saying it's not all on her." Martin said, "It takes two to tango."

Killian moved another piece looking and feeling very confused,
"I'm going to need you to explain better."

"Maybe you're finding it really hard to get past what you experienced when your sister went through what she did." Martin said, "So, rather than actually dealing with the present emotions that come with being related to her, you're still stuck sorting through those past feelings."

Killian's clenched his jaw,
"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"I don't know," Martin studied him, "What does it sound like I'm saying."

Killian was silent for a moment,
"That I'm not calling her out because I'm also trying to hide my relationship with her."

Martin moved another piece and smiled at Killian,
"Checkmate."

Killian was too stunned to even glance at the board. There was a part of him that completely denied what Martin was saying and another part that felt utterly convicted. While he knew that conviction came from the holy spirit, he didn't care much for it in the moment.

It was one thing to feel convicted, it was another to actually admit being convicted.

Killian couldn't help thinking that maybe all that time in the attic painting away at the canvas trying to deal with his feelings hadn't really helped him deal with his feelings. According to Martin, he'd just kept them somewhere and hadn't gone back to check on them like he'd done with those old paintings that remained hidden in the attic.

Had he unknowingly accepted defeat?
He wondered.

NEW BOOK UPDATE:

I'm so excited about the new book I'm working on, and just a few months to go before I introduce it to you guys. There's so much happening Behind-The-Scenes right now, I'm working on so many things book/non-book related and I cannot wait to share them with you on this month's vlog.

I'm also working on the mini trailer for the new book which will be up on my Instagram before I announce it on Wattpad. So, be sure to stay tuned for all of it coming your way. (Direct links --->)

Love muchly,
Jane.