Haha I love you!
Not as much as I love you.

I'm leaving...

Please don't go.

~~~~~~~

I woke up with tears or sweat rolling down my Cheeks I wasn't sure which was which. I sighed rubbing my head and I glanced at the clock.

3:24am

I groaned it had been two months since he left and although i loved him i figured it'd be easier to take the step off the cliff and and allow faith to decide if I would fall or fly, and as of now I'm idly floating. Not falling or flying. It seemed for awhile I was only falling but my mind was merely playing tricks on me replacing reality with an optical illusion.

When I left or when he pushed me away I was filled with relief. Thinking I wouldn't feel any pain by holding on or letting go. But walk-in away the farther I got the quicker my heart ached to go back. And I wanted to. But I knew with every step I took took, he didn't want me.

But come to think of it when did he ever? When did I ever feel loved, needed, or wanted by the guy who it hurt to breath without. Maybe it's because i catch feelings to quickly and I grasp onto things that aren't there. Maybe I'm the one going crazy.

After that nightmare and those thoughts I always seem to be thinking, I feel back into a restless sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
August 7,2019

Out of rehab, out of foster care, he came back. On his terms or not something was certainly wrong. Rather it being his animosity towards the young girl who thought the world of him to his girlfriend who was slowly finding out how horrible he could is.

When he comes back with bad intentions with the one he hurts the most. Will she trust him again and feel the hurt and pain she finally thought she got ahold of or will she push him away like all the times he did to her?