Chapter 4 [EDITED]
The next morning, as Alex and I are getting ready for school, I hear a knock at the door. I've trained myself to never open the door, since I'm technically deaf. But since Alex is in his room and my mom is hers, I look through the peephole and I see Danny. I open the door. "Hi."
"Oh, hi. I didn't expect you to answer the door," Danny rubs the back of his neck. "because you are supposed to be deaf."
"I usually don't. What do you need Danny?" I sound harsher than I mean to.
"A ride to school. I usually walk, but it's raining." He hooks his foot around the back of his other foot and slowly glides his eyes up to meet mine. I bite my lip and try to avoid looking at his eyes. He's trying to look sad so I'll take pity and give him a ride. Lucky for him it's working.
"Sure," I reply. I can't turn him down. I need him to trust me, like I trust him. I stand aside to let him in. After he passes me, I close the door. It's too quiet, so I decide to start talking. "Good thing you know where we live."
He laughs. Not like a fake petty laugh, but a real laugh. He thought I was funny. I laugh with him, although I don't know why. Maybe so he'll trust me? "I'm glad I know your secret. I'm glad I know the real you," he says, hesitantly.
"I'm glad someone else knows. Someone new. Before you, only the people I've known my whole life have known. Still, most of them are family. You and Emily are the only ones that don't live in this house that know the truth," I trail off. I have to keep it serious. "That is why it's important that you keep it quiet." I don't know what to do with my hands so I stick them behind me and I lean against the wall. Danny doesn't know what to do with his either. He shoves them in his back pocket and shifts his weight onto his right foot.
"I thought that your neighbors would know. Or at least more people than what, five?" He shrugs his shoulders.
"Seven, actually." I feel like I need to make him believe me, so I decide to list them off, "You, Emily, my mom, my dad, Alex, and my little siblings, Annie and Jackson. Seven." I hold up seven fingers, as if he needs a visual.
"Yes. I can count," he smiles at me.
I quickly put my fingers down. I bite my lip. I'm making a fool of myself. He's just another guy. Just another guy that knows my biggest secret.
We stand in silence for a minute before Alex comes out. "What are you doing here?" Alex doesn't keep his calm at all. He's angry. He comes and stands between him and me, thinking he's protecting me.
"Alex. He just needs a ride. Calm down," I put my hand on his shoulder.
He shakes my hand off. "So? He can find someone else!" Alex turns to me. "Or he can walk! Either way, he's not coming with us!"
I can't stop myself from cringing. Alex never yells at me. "Alex. Calm down. Nothing is wrong with him wanting a ride. He'd walk if it wasn't raining outside. It'll be fine. We have an extra seat anyway."
"How will it be fine?! What happened since yesterday, Lucy?! Yesterday you were scared of him!" Alex stares at me. "Huh?!"
"I've forgiven him, I trust him. Why can't you? Why can't you trust me?" I turn away from Alex and look down. "Don't yell at me." I walk down the hallway and close myself in my room. I sit down in front of the door. I pull my knees to my chest and rest my head on them. "Why is he acting this way?" I whisper to myself. I hear a knock on my door. "Go away, Alex."
"It's not Alex. Lucy, open the door," Danny says. I stand up and open the door. "Are you okay?"
"I don't know, Danny. He's never yelled at me before. I don't know what to do." I sit down on my bed and Danny sits next to me. "I don't know what's gotten in to him. He probably thinks he's protecting me, but he's not. He needs to understand that I don't need protecting anymore. I'm not a child."
"He's just trying to be a good brother," Danny reasons.
He tries to say something else, but I interrupt him. "By yelling at me? That just doesn't make any sense." I feel bad insulting Alex like this, but I need to let my anger out and I certainly can't do that at school. My eyes start to burn. I'm crying.
"Hey, it's okay Lucy." Danny puts his arm around my shoulder. "I'll just walk, okay?"
I shake my head. "I don't want to ride in the car alone with him. Emily's leaving on vacation today so she's not coming with us. Maybe I'll just walk with you." I look up at him. I should just let him go, he's trying to be a good friend. But I don't think I can. "I'm scared. I don't want Alex yelling at me again. You probably think I'm a wimp. Complaining like this." I shake my head and look at down at my feet.
"I don't think you're a wimp. You're going through a lot right now, I respect that. If I had to pretend that I was deaf and mute, I wouldn't be able to do it." He pauses. "I should go now. I'll be late for school."
"No, don't leave me alone. Just come with us today, my mom certainly won't mind. Alex will just sit in the front seat, like he always does. It'll be fine." I'm such a sap. I wipe off my cheeks and I stand up. "Let's go."
Danny opens the car door for me. I slide in then he hops in next to me. I rest my elbows on my knees and lean forward onto them. Danny rubs my back, making everything seem alright. He stops suddenly and I look up and see my mom come into the garage. He doesn't want my mom seeing what he's doing. I sit up straight and smile at him sneakily so my mom won't see.
"Lucy, who is this?" My mom asks.
"Oh, this is Danny. He just needs a ride today. Is that okay?" I reply.
Mom looks stunned. "He knows your secret?" I nod. She acts like its a big deal, I guess it should be to me, but I've gotten over it. I trust Danny. "Okay then. Let's get going. Alex! Time to go!" She starts the car and honks. I hear the car door slam. Alex is not in a good mood. I bite my lip because I know it's my fault. Danny must notice that I'm anxious because he touches my arm and smiles at me. "Alex, are you okay?" He nods, but doesn't say anything. "You sure?" He nods again. "Okay then." She doesn't seem convinced. She must not have heard the fight this morning, which is surprising. We weren't quiet. She backs out of the driveway and shifts the car into drive. "So, Danny, do you have any classes with Lucy?"
"We have English together," Danny says.
"I bet that's fun. Do you have any classes with Alex?" Mom questions.
"No. We just ran into each other one day. Literally. So I was..."
I tune him out and close my eyes, leaning my head back against the headrest.
The car stops and I open my eyes. School. I sigh. I look to my right and Danny is already out of the car and waiting for me. I quickly scoot over and climb out. "I don't want to be here."
"You'll be fine Lucy. Just relax. I'm right here," Danny says smoothly. I nod. I need to depend on Danny today. He'll be my only friend. I nod again. "Come on, lets go visit the old man." I laugh. He doesn't need to explain who 'the old man' is. I already know it's Mr. Thomas.
We make our way through the maze we call school and finally reach Mr. Thomas' classroom. We each find our seats and he turns to me, "Lucy, guess what?"
I don't look at him, I'm not supposed to have heard what he said. I wait for him to get my attention first. He seems confused, like I just changed people, which I kind of did. I give him a hint by gently touching my ear.
"Oh, yeah." He touches my arm. I turn toward him. He says it again, "Lucy, guess what?"
"What?" Gary replies.
Danny looks disappointed, as if he expected me to talk. He shrugs it off. "I'm going to walk you home today."
It's a simple thing to do, walk someone home, but it means a lot to me. I smile at him. "You don't have to. I can manage my brother." I really don't think I can manage Alex, but I don't want Danny to think I need him.
"Well, too bad. You're stuck with me," Danny laughs. I laugh, too. Danny opens his mouth to speak again, but he's interrupted by Mr. Thomas. He shrugs and I shrug back.
Danny walks me to my next class, not caring that he'll be late to his. "Well, I guess I'll see you after school then. Oh, where do I meet you?"
I could meet him somewhere away from Alex. But I don't want Alex to wait for me. I want, no need, to apologize to my brother. "By the stairs." Sometimes I hate myself.
"You got it." He smiles at me before he walks away. I tear my eyes away from him and I turn into my classroom. Before I can walk any farther a tall boy, Luke, blocks my path.
"Excuse me," Gary says. I try to maneuver my way around Luke, but he's big and tall so I can't evade him. I look up at him. "Can I help you?"
Luke cracks his knuckles before he answers me, "I've heard something about you Lucy. I've heard something about Danny Miller too. I've heard many things about you and Danny Miller."
I allow some attitude into my posture. I shift my weight quickly from right to left, I lean against the door frame, and I tilt my head. "It's my life Luke. You have no business interfering." I try to get past him again but he continues to block my way. "Can I get by please?"
"Ehh. I'll think about it. So, Danny Miller. He seems, different, since he's known you. He's always nervous, always shaky. I tried to talk to him yesterday about our science project but he wouldn't respond to me. I think he's having a hard time keeping something to himself," Luke lowers himself so he is eye level with me. "Would you know what that is?"
Danny's having a hard time keeping the secret? He won't spill. He can't spill. "I don't know what you're talking about, Luke."
Luke stands up straight and says, "This isn't over, Broken. Not even close." He walks away and sits down. I inhale and find my seat as well.
I find Danny and Alex standing awkwardly next to each other after school. I should have told Danny that Alex might be there. Alex is leaning against the wall with his eyes glued to the ground a few feet ahead of him. Danny is standing up straight and can't seem to keep his eyes in one place. Until he sees me and waves at me. I wave back. His posture changes. He stands looser, calmer. "Shall we go?" Gary asks.
Alex hasn't looked at me yet. He's still mad at me. He nods and says, "I guess so." He stands up straight and walks down the stairs, not waiting for me or Danny.
"So, how was class?" Danny asks, trying to ease the tension between the three of us. "Did you have fun?"
I shrug, "I guess so." I think about asking Danny if he's told anyone about me yet. I need to know. "How about you?" I have to be polite first.
"It was alright. I was lonely though. I didn't have anyone to talk to. Except Luke. But he's not as fun to talk to as you are," He smiles at me, trying to make me laugh.
I'm not in the mood for laughing, so I smile back. He looks disappointed. "Speaking of Luke. He talked to me today. He said that you looked like you were struggling to keep something in." I stop and turn towards Danny. "Have you told anyone about my secret, Danny?"
"No. I haven't. It was hard holding it in yesterday, it was still fresh in my mind. But I didn't tell anyone. I told you that you could count on me. That's why I followed you, it wasn't just for you, but also for me. So I could convince myself that I wasn't going to tell anyone anything," Danny says.
I smile at him, "Good. I'm glad I can count on you." He smiles back.
A voice on the intercom interrupts me, "All students pay attention to what I am about to say. The state government has declared a new law: Anyone who is faking a medical illness shall be punished depending on the illness and the length of the illness. Tomorrow we will be asking every person individually during English classes. This new rule is from Governor Eric Smith. That is all." Danny looks at me. I look back. Eric Smith is Luke's dad.
"Oh, no. This can't be good," Danny tells me. "Let's get out of here." All I can do is nod. He grabs my arm and pulls me outside. I don't feel like moving anywhere, but I need to get home. Alex and Danny act as my body guards as we walk home. We can't attract any attention. If we jog or run, people will be suspicious. We have to walk.
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