'Another day of this worthless life. Why can't I just fade away normally?' Alfred mused to himself as he walked, smiling at his neighbors and some schoolmates who were also walking on the side of the streets. They only gave him a snarl or a blank look that clearly says, 'F*ck off.' He just ignored their unfriendly exchange as he continued to smile at different people as he went to the Hetalia Academy.

Once he went inside the school, he walked along the corridor with blue blank eyes.

Alfred was the star of the school during his time here... Well, he used to be the star of this school. But now was just... different.

He didn't know exactly how it happened but after three years in this school, they began to bully and call him names. Alfred never let it show outside but he is very depressed. And because of them, he gained this 'smiling depression' and whatnot. Alfred laughed all of their insults off of his shoulder even when it hurts so much. Matthew was the only one who never bullied him....

That is true until he called Alfred names for three hours straight the night before. After the fight, he hastily cut himself a lot more than usual, making him bleed furiously in the bathroom. That's why his whole body is burning and stinging him right now. Luckily, no one opened the door that night. No one bothered to say goodnight to him.

His parents used to be so kind and happy to see him but now they act like he doesn't even matter anymore. They kept on giving him glares and shakes of their heads as if they regret raising him. The only one they really care in the house is Matthew. He was always cared for and loved no matter what. They even forgot about his birthdays for three years straight even though July 4th is very famous in America. Well they might have pretended to forget about it.

His friends don't even acknowledge him anymore- except when they call him names or for projects and benefits.

Alfred thinks he's worthless and nothing to all of them. There was no one there for him. No friends, no family and not even his best friend, Kiku or his so called half-rival half-secret friend, Ivan.

Why?

What did he do to make them hate him so much?

Did he even do anything for that matter? Or is it because of his very own existence?

Arthur was right. He is a mistake. A mistake that should have never existed in the first place. Alfred began to walk faster, resisting the urge to let his tears run down his face.

And at last, Alfred managed to enter the cafeteria without bawling his eyes out. He smiled 'brightly' once he found his 'friends' on a table.

He decided not to give the letter to them just yet, so he walked towards them, stuffing the letter he wrote from the night before. Only to be insulted yet again.

"Hamburger bastard! You kept on running late, is it because of your stupid fatass?" They all laughed.

"Nice one. Nice one."

"Ve~ you should just eat pasta instead, Alfred. After all, burgers will only keep you from reaching the proper diet ve!"

'I wish I could, Feli. But I can't... I've tried to stop eating but you'll keep on judging me anyway.'

"Nah, I'll stick with burgers dude! It's the best for me!" Alfred 'laughed' loudly making Arthur cringe.

"Shut it, twat! I'm trying to read here!"

"Obnoxious idiot." Yao mumbled under his breath, eating the snacks he brought from his home.

"Yeah..." Alfred muttered as he took a seat beside his brother, Matthew, who only threw him an irritated look.

'Right. The fight last night still annoyed Matthew...'

Alfred smiled sheepishly back at him which only made it worst as Matthew glared daggers at him. Finally giving up, Alfred avoided his brother's piercing eyes and ate the burgers he brought hastily, 'Why does everyone hate me?' He gloomily thought even though he knew why.

'You're just a waste of space.'

'Certainly repulsive!'

'Why is the fatass still here!?'

'Who would even miss you?'

'How pathetic! You should just die already!'

'Quit existing, you daft! Just disappear!'

'Your own blood related can't even stand to be with you!'

'If he doesn't like you then NO ONE DOES!!!'

"...FRED!!!" Alfred jumped at the loud voice, casting his head towards Ludwig who's face is as red as Antonio's tomatoes.

Gulping down his miserable thoughts, he smiled slowly, "L-Ludwig??? What's up dude?"

"You're late, you immatured idiot!" Ludwig yelled, pointing accusingly at Alfred.

Alfred was shocked, he just came in the cafeteria a few minutes ago. He was sure he wasn't in here for very long.

Wait...Where were the others? He looked at his surroundings only to find no one else there besides him and Ludwig. His heart sank, they always went outside together... they always had.

And now even that is gone.

Alfred felt like crying more than anything. Why can't they let him at least give him a little hope. 'Even pretending to be happy with me is fine. Just don't leave me. Please...' Alfred felt his hands curl, holding back his cries deep inside him.

'Like I told you for years, they don't care.'

'It's hopeless.'

'Give them all a favor.'

'You have nothing to stay here for.'

Just what does Alfred have now?

"...fred. Alfred are you alright?" Alfred snapped out of it, seeing Ludwig's hand being waved in front of him. But his heart almost stopped when he saw what was in Ludwig's hand. A letter.

A suicide letter.

"Wh-What?"

How did he get that!? Alfred was sure he had it in his pocket. Did he mindlessly took it out while the dark thoughts came back?

Ludwig's usual stoic face was contorted into a more concerned and horrified one, it was odd. No one's ever done that face to him for a very long time. "A-Are you alright?"

'I'm not.'

"You've been acting weird all day. A-And this is... this is not funny, Alfred..." Ludwig almost choked out in disbelief.

'...you don't know anything.'

"M-Me? H-HAHAHA!!! What exactly are you talking about dude? I-I'm fine." Alfred snatched the letter and quickly brushed Ludwig away from him as he walked past, only to be grabbed on the wrist.

That

Actually

Freaking

HURT!

Alfred bit back a muffled scream, feeling his tears running down from his eyes as he whimpered repeatedly at Ludwig.

The cuts...oh dear, the cuts. It hurts.

"Alfred? What's wrong!? OH MEIN GO- ARE YOU ALRIGHT!?" Ludwig's voice must have been so loud because he saw Ivan's face appear at the entrance of the cafeteria. The Russian was usually in the library even when class already starts. No one came to tell him to get to class because he is already smart and also additionally scary. The library is literally in the other building so that means, Ludwig alerted the whole school already. And Ivan is only there because he's very fast on his feet.

But Alfred is too, after all he is the only one who can rival the Russian.

"WHAT IS GOING ON???"

"WHAT WAS THAT!?"

Alfred whined and began to squirm against Ludwig's hold on his wrist, which was slowly bleeding. Alfred panicked and blindly punched Ludwig on the stomach. Instantly, Ludwig let go of him and Alfred was away but Ivan ran after him.

Alfred was fast on his feet, ignoring his stinging arm that's been dropping blood fast.

Everyone gasped when they saw Alfred bleeding all over the place. Ironically, Feliciano quickly snapped out from that and went to Ludwig's side but Ludwig already managed to catch himself and screamed desperately at them, "GET HIM!!! DON'T LET HIM KILL HIMSELF!!!" Everyone's blood ran cold but moved almost immediately.

Alfred was going to kill himself? The thought made them run faster than they've ever done in their entire lives.

"M-Maple! How did I not notice this!?" Matthew frantically ran after Alfred. Matthew is also fast but Ivan was faster than him so they were all left a bit behind as the Russian ran even faster.

Alfred has always been happy, he couldn't be... 'I'm the worst brother ever!' Matthew never thought Alfred would ever do this to himself.

This is no joke. This is actually real.

"Too late, lad. We can only hope to fix this!" Arthur panted, already losing his breath but he kept on running. They all were.

After what seemed like forever, they finally came to a stop when Ivan halted in front of them.

"Ivan! Please let me through!!!" Matthew hysterically pleaded but only stopped when he saw Alfred looking blankly at them. Alfred was heavily panting and he was shaking pretty badly.

Arthur cried softly, taking a step forward. "Alfred lad. Please stop it." But Alfred didn't say anything.

Matthew's trembling lips moved, also taking a shaky step forward. "It i-isn't worth it, A-Alfie. Please b-brother, step away from there and we can talk aboot it..."

'There were years to talk about it....it's already too late.'

"Alfred please, w-we can eat in the cafeteria if you w-want? You can have everything there."

'I haven't eaten since 4 weeks ago, I'm already used to it.'

"Please don't do this, hermano."

"Mon petite Alfred, please."

Even when everyone tried to talk him out of it, Alfred looked like he couldn't hear them at all.

"F-Fredka?"

But Alfred didn't say anything or move other than breathing harshly. They also didn't move, fearing that they'll end up scaring him away towards the edge.

"Pl-Please Alfred... t-talk to us..."

'Almost there, Alfred~ hehe, Just a little tiny bitty steps away before everything is over~'

"Br-Brother, just step away from there a-and I'll even ma-make you your f-favorite pancake, eh?"

'Almost there.'

'Move it!'

'Just do it!'

'Kill yourself~'

'It's all you're worth!'

'DIEEE!!!-'

"-Fredka! Please!!! Please please don't do this!.....please..."

Alfred looked at Ivan and for a moment, everyone thought he changed his mind.

Alfred smiled.

Alfred turned.

They ran.

Alfred fell.

Ivan reached out.

.

.

.

.

.

"...goodbye."

Author's POV

Should I continue this dudes? 🤔