"How was New Orleans?" Rush had barely finished his question when he started shovelling noodles into his mouth. He pushed the bite to the side of his mouth. "Did you go to Florida?"

"Good ol' Pensacola," Indy said.

"I actually didn't," Eddie said.

Rush looked at her. Scratch that. Everyone at the table looked at her. August, Lockwood, Indy, Kai, Rush. God, even Laki. How did he know that? They stared at her like a gang of curious birds, heads cocked with intrigue.

"What did you do if you didn't go to the beach?" August asked.

"Hung out," Eddie said, shrugging. "Made friends."

"Oh, fancy."

"You've never made a friend in your life," Indy said.

Eddie pointed at Rush and shoved too much food in her mouth to keep from talking. The group booed her. Eddie looked at every single one of them and glared as she chewed.

Rush let out a loud laugh. "Now I know you're covering something up."

"Am not."

"Auntie Eds—" Laki stared at her like he was a man far beyond his years and had put up with eternal decades of her bullshit. "—Come on now."

August snorted into her drink. "Get her, you little shit."

"August," Rush said. "Language."

"Sorry."

"Gotta get used to that," Rush said. "Pregnant."

Lockwood choked on his bite of dinner. August stared at the table like it was showing her a powerful vision of her strangling Rush.

"Who snitched?" August glared at the twins.

Lockwood raised his eyebrows. "Someone admit it before she beats up both of you."

"That's two against one," Indy said.

"Illegal," Eddie said.

"Maybe I'll beat both of you at the same time."

"That would be fairer," Indy said.

"More fair?" Eddie tried.

"Neither sounds right," Indy said.

"I hate English," Eddie said.

"Why isn't she in the running?" Indy pointed to Kai with her fork.

"Hey." Kai tossed a piece of corn at her girlfriend.

"Because you two are you two and, fuck—"

"August—"

"I spent my day shaving Maverick's hairy ass leg to tattoo him, I get one fuck."

Rush picked up his drink and mumbled into his sip, "Technically, that was two."

"And I think Stevie would've done that for you for free," Eddie said. "So, waste of your precious time. The swearing around impressionable children and the shaving."

"My kids will never have to worry about swear words," August said, waving her hand. Lockwood gave her a humble nod. Same page even when they were being interrogated. "Banning them gives them power."

"Kids plural?" Rush asked.

"No," August said.

"So just the one, then?"

"How did you know?" August asked. Nobody wanted to tell her it was whiny. A little stressed out. Maybe that's how Eddie could get in her good books: never mention her pregnancy ever. A win for the both of them.

Rush raised an eyebrow. Waved a hand at Laki, who smiled and waved. "I knew before anyone else did with him."

"That's a lie," August said.

"Try. Me," Rush said. "You're eating like you're gonna be sick. That's all his mom did, too. Which is especially embarrassing for you because this is delicious."

"Thank you," Lockwood said.

"Get out of my house," August said. Now that it had been pointed out, she did look a little grim. Like she was fighting for her life each bite she took of her dinner. Probably the reason she was buried in one of Lockwood's gigantic promotional hoodies from one of his previous fights, if Eddie had thought about it. Usually, she decked herself out in a hoodie from her parlour if she was going to wear one. August tended to wear button ups that made every single lesbian at a pride parade turn her way despite the fact she was, somehow, straight. (That might've been Eddie and Indy's fault; their inevitable birth sucked all the queer essence from their familial lineage. They were doomed to have heterosexual children one day if they felt like procreating.)

"You invited me."

"I'm disinviting you." August looked at Lockwood. "You too. You agreed with him about dinner."

"I live here and I made dinner."

"I paid the mortgage this month." August shrugged. Stabbed her noodles with her chopsticks for good measure.

"We have a shared bank account." Lockwood laughed into another bite of dinner. Ballsy. "And none of this erases the fact that Eds didn't go to Pensacola."

"You little shi—"

"Eddie—"

"Shitkicker—"

"Eddie."

"He hears worse at school."

Laki nodded and Eddie gave him a high five.

"Why didn't you go to Pensacola?" Indy smacked her hands on the table a couple times. Threw a piece of corn at Eddie. Birds of a feather threw kernels together.

"Stop wasting food," August said.

Indy threw a bean sprout at Eddie for good measure. August stared at her, an eyebrow raised. The one receiving the glare poured her pregnant sister more non-alcoholic wine. Grinned sheepishly. Eddie actually enjoyed it when the pointed stare was aimed at someone other than herself. Imagine that.

Indy tilted her head in Eddie's direction. "Eddie. Don't make me full name you."

"I told you I made friends."

"Who?"

"Moxie. Cruella." Eddie wasn't sure if Mick deserved the term of friend after the hot dog soda incident. And Bronx the ghost was on thin ice. They skated out together, hand in hand, to see how far they could go before they sunk. Technically, she made... friends with Axel before New Orleans. She didn't have to mention him if she didn't want to. Oh, how the hair split.

"I could walk into a gay club right now and find people with those names," Indy said. "You fuc—"

Rush cleared his throat.

"You really suck at explaining things."

"Maybe it's because I don't want to explain things."

"Rude."

Eddie contemplated stabbing herself in the eye with her chopstick in hopes they would drive her to the hospital and her injuries would make them stop asking questions. She decided that would be too traumatizing for Laki to experience and spared him the therapy bill. Everyone else could join Mick and Bronx on their thin ice.

"How was San Francisco the last couple days?" Eddie asked. Even when she was being interviewed professionally, having the attention on her was a terrible burden.

"Pukey," August said.

"Mediocre," Lockwood said.

"Gay," Indy said.

"Do any of you answer questions normally?" Kai asked.

"No," Rush said, laughing into another bite of dinner.

"I had a great day!" Laki said.

The sane one of the group. Eddie hoped he kept that forever.

*

Eddie wished she wasn't as well-known as she was so she could give keys out to her apartment and not have to get up when she invited someone over. You get a key, and you get a key, and you get a key! How nice it would be to hear someone other than Rush let themselves in and make their presence known. Because most other people were not there to be rational—most people were there for a quick fuck and they left and that was ideal and she wanted to give out keys to strangers some days and see what happened.

Nevertheless, Eddie opened the door because Chess Chastity did not have a key. Was met swiftly with something forced into her mouth in the least sexy way possible.

"Hi," Eddie said. Mouth full.

"Hi," Chess said. Taking a bite from what Eddie quickly identified was a powdered jelly donut. ­­With their silly sticky-uppy hair and their wicked smile that said a thousand words. "Fancy seeing you here."

"In my own place?"

Chess smirked. "Without Muppet boy."

"Oh, him." Him. Yeah.

Chess raised their eyebrow. "I moved my D&D sesh for this, Eds."

"I—" Eddie stepped out of the way of the door, a little stiffly. "Come in."

Chess snorted. "Wow, warm welcome."

Peter barked from inside the apartment. Somewhere, Eddie knew he was right.

"Hey, Pete," Chess said. "Your mum's being weird. Think she might like a Muppet boy."

"Do not say slurs in front of my dog."

Unfortunately, Chess had been in the middle of taking another bite of donut. Which meant that they snorted a mouthful of powdered sugar at Eddie; making her shirt look like it had done an unhealthy amount of cocaine. (Was there a healthy amount of cocaine?) (Certain people at her old high school would've had her think so.) (Some part of Eddie was proud she only got addicted to cigarettes and alcohol and sex in her life—the other part of her was embarrassed that was considered good in her books.)

"Oh shit," Chess said. "Booger sugar blowout. Clean up on aisle line."

"I have to go." Eddie didn't really know she'd said it until the words were out of her mouth. Didn't know she'd made a decision, really. Didn't even know that today was the day she might've been admitting Chess, in all their silliness, fully had a point.

"Come on, I had more. There was so much material for pearl necklace."

Eddie didn't know why she tried to look down, but she did. That was a rule she'd put in place and Axel had been very keen to listen to her request. He was the only person she'd slept with who wasn't Chess lately and both of them were okay with it. It was bait and Eddie was hook, line, and sinker.

"I'm proud of you," Chess said. Shoving the rest of the donut in their mouth. Eddie must've been distracted because she didn't even attempt to kiss the powdered sugar off them. Any other time and she would've gone right for the kill.

"I'm sorry."

Chess shook their head, ran a finger along their lip to try and hide a smile. Eddie had a thing for nice fingers. It was a problem of hers. "Can I be honest, Eds?"

"You didn't cancel D&D, did you?" Eddie crossed her arms. Not sure why she felt the audacity to do so.

They leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. And that felt nice but Eddie knew that there was another set of lips she'd rather be on her forehead, on her lips, on... her. Sometimes kissing other people was exactly what the soul needed to realize it didn't want to kiss other people. "You know me too well. I've gotta go or they'll start plotting against my plot."

"Go... solve some dragon... puzzles."

"Oh, baby," Chess said, running a finger along Eddie's jaw. "That was a good try."

"Pillage some dungeons."

"You got one, now I need you to stop."

Eddie laughed. "Have fun."

"I'll drag you there next time you mess up," Chess said. "Don't think I won't."

"Get going. Or you'll be late for the... elves?"

Chess gave her a small two-finger salute and Eddie whistled while she grabbed Peter's leash and her keys. They walked out of the building together, but Chess headed to their car and Eddie happily began her walk.

Less transforming for them and her. That was, depending on where their plot was going to take them. Eddie had tried to sit in on one of their sessions once. When she'd been interested in dating them and not simply sleeping with them. That was the night Eddie decided they were too smart for her—too whimsical. Too far beyond what Eddie was going to bring to their life that she let them go before she hurt them.

Eddie hoped this walk was different. That this walk scared her less. That this walk was nothing like the walk she took last time she was in San Francisco. There was something about this walk that she knew was different.

Even Peter was carrying himself like he knew that something was in the air. Something full of life. Something Eddie never thought that California could be. And that something was... everything.

How fucking embarrassing that her walk turned into a jog. That usually she stopped and smelled roses and this time it was like nothing in the city mattered except a singular solitary building out of all of the other buildings and as long as she got to what was inside the building, nothing else in the world mattered. Eddie had never felt that before.

When she reached the front of the building, Eddie decided that she needed to punch in the code before she decided that this was too scary and she turned around and went home. Cool San Francisco air practically pushed her hand toward the keypad. Paris might've been the city of love but Eddie was slowly learning that San Francisco was the city of potential. If only a younger version of her could see her now—falling in love with San Francisco was easy when it had people she cared about in it. She wished she could tell herself that. San Francisco was going to be okay.

The delay after the dial tone made her heart skip a beat. Eddie was not bold.

She went to turn on her heel when she heard the beep. A light tone. Acceptance. Green light. Come on in. Eddie lurched toward the door before she could stop herself. Before Peter could see a squirrel and launch her in the wrong direction.

Eddie almost welcomed the heinous smell Peter released in the elevator if it made her feel like the twisting in her stomach was justified.

The hallway was familiar. That was new. Eddie didn't know a familiar hallway that wasn't her own. Was the stomach twisting excitement and not puke? Also new. Eddie knocked on the door. Something something about keys something something about how she was certifiably insane.

A couple footsteps came behind the door followed by the creak of it, and that stupid mop of hair poking it's way around the edge. In a world of confusion, he'd never looked more like it.

"Um. Hi."

"Hi." Axel opened the door a little more. "Um. Did I double book myself?"

"You—" Eddie's eyes widened. Peter flopped into the side of her leg and she nearly buckled. At least she would've had a terrible reason to feel weak in the knees—who needed one she couldn't have come up with? "—do you have someone else over I'm so sorr—"

"No, no, no, no." Axel shook his head vigorously. Opened the door a little farther. Shook his phone a little. "Um. I have—this is—" Axel turned his phone around to face her. "—this is Eddie." Axel looked down. Looked back up at Eddie, who had barely registered she needed to look at who he was talking to before he tilted his phone toward the dog that clearly had a death wish for her. "And—um—that's Peter. He's my dude."

"If I'm interrupting like—" Eddie wanted to undo her punching in the entry code. Felt her stomach twist harder and embarrassed nausea rolled over her. If she puked on his doorstep, she was never going to come back.

Axel tilted the phone back at her. A man clearly fighting for his life to stay as neutral as possible faced her. He looked tired—evidenced by the small hand that reached up to touch his jaw while he tried not to laugh. "This is my therapist. Roman."

The breath she let out was a little too loud.

"Eddie," Roman said with a kind smile. "I've heard a lot about you. And Peter. Nice to put faces to names."

Evidently, Axel did not only turn red when an entire bar sang him happy birthday. He turned his phone back to himself. "What happened to doctor patient confidentiality?"

"I'm actually not a doctor yet," Roman said. "Leigh's gonna beat me in that one."

"But you're gonna get there, doc," Axel said. "And that's cool."

"I thought I was the therapist here," Roman said. "I pay someone to hype me up like that, you don't have to."

Axel laughed. Looked at Eddie. "Um. We're almost done. If—If you wanted to stay."

"I don't want to intrude—I should've texted." Admitting anything was infinitely scarier in person than it had been on her run through the streets to get there.

"Here." Axel looked around for a second and pulled his wallet out of what Eddie wanted to believe was a coat pocket but the crouch he'd done before told her it was a shoe. He handed her a credit card in exchange for Peter's leash. "How about you go run and grab us dinner 'cause I haven't eaten yet and I'll finish up here?"

"You want Peter here while I get food?" She tried to hand him his card back.

"Is Peter a snitch or is he a girl's girl?"

"How dare you assume he's anything other than a girl's girl."

Axel grinned. "Then it's a dat—dinner. On me. I'll throw cash at you if you use your own card. I'm so serious."

"If I can pay for dinner, I'll suc—" Eddie had the sudden realization he was still on call with his therapist who was already in therapy and who Eddie didn't want to put through more therapy. "Hmm. Hmmm."

"Keep that one in the drafts and let me pay for dinner." Axel winked at her and Eddie wished Peter would've taken out her knees again so she'd be less embarrassed with how weak they felt.

"Any allergies I should know about?"

"When other people pay for my dinner," Axel said. "Could die if you did that to me."

"Hope you have an EpiPen."

As she took the door handle and swung the door shut, Axel let out a laugh and said, "I can't afford a dining room table—"

Eddie shut his door on him and let herself be embarrassing just for a moment. Leaned her back against the door, smiled like there was nothing in the world that could get her down.

*

Eddie was true to the band in that cigarettes after sex was her modus operandi—even if she'd been asleep for a bit before the cigarette part. It was embarrassing how easily she fell into that stereotype and did nothing to fix that part of herself. (There were a lot of parts of herself like that.) (Too many to start at cigarettes, truthfully.) What she didn't expect was to feel Axel slip out of bed beside her and pad his way through the apartment before eventually finding his way outside. The second surprise of the night was the smell of cigarette smoke seeping in through the slightly open deck door when Eddie made her way into the living room to check on him. Make sure there was no prep for post-therapy upsetti spaghetti. Peter gave her a judgmental look that said she should go check on him and not him—she agreed with the dog.

Eddie slipped on a hoodie that she immediately identified wasn't hers—though she didn't look too hard for it. Deliciously wrapped herself in Axel's cologne and didn't complain one bit that he'd interrupted her confessions of everything that made her stomach twist with his lips and dinner and a lovely evening she never wanted to end. She slid the door open and Axel jumped. Waved the smoke away from himself, looked down for bystanders, and promptly flicked the cigarette as far into the street as he could. Eddie tried to settle herself down that he'd grabbed her hoodie to wear outside. Paired well with the Star Wars boxers.

"Relax," Eddie said. "I'm not gonna arrest you for stealing my cigarettes."

Axel breathed out a laugh and leaned his forearms on the railing. "Sorry if I woke you up. I didn't mean to."

Eddie leaned on the railing beside him. He didn't stop her from leaning into him a little. Hip pressed to the side of his thigh. "Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be okay?"

"You're out here in my hoodie," Eddie said. "Smoking my cigarettes."

"Thought I wasn't under arrest."

"To be determined." Eddie let her fingertip dance along his forearm. "But. You know. Probably not, being arrested sucks."

Axel let out a small breath. "Sometimes I forget that you've been..."

Eddie nodded. It wasn't something she'd spoken about to many people and if she was going to get anything out of the night, it wasn't the time to discuss it either. She trailed her arm around his waist gingerly. "Pack of my cigarettes in your pocket or are you happy to see me?"

"Both?"

Eddie pulled the box from the pocket along with the lighter. Placed one in her mouth and cupped her hand around the flame as she lit it up and breathed it in. Tried to focus on the geranium essence in the cologne on her hoodie and not the disgusting taste of the cigarette itself. "I thought you quit."

Axel hung his head. "I thought I did too."

"What happened?"

Axel shook his head. "I've been in therapy for a while. But that doesn't make anything easier to talk about. Some days are better than others."

Eddie knew she was a terrible influence, because after she drew in a breath from the cigarette, she offered it to him. Let him take it. Tried to be more worried than think about how much he suited it. God, she was terrible.

Axel drew another pull from it for good measure. Handed it back to her like it was burning his hand. It wasn't that short yet, though. "I don't have to."

"You look like you do."

"That bad?" Axel scratched at the back of his neck and Eddie took his hand in hers before he tore it up with his fingernails.

She leaned her head against his shoulder. Lightly. Scared of what her influence was but she was a souleater and that wasn't going to stop on account of Axel. "You look tired."

"Thanks for that."

"Could come back to bed."

"Inviting me back to my own bed," Axel said. "Romantic, Akuma."

"Can I ask why you thought this would help?" Eddie wasn't the one trying to actively quit smoking. She took a long draw from it, careful to blow the smoke away from him.

"It was more to give me something else to think about," Axel said. "I needed something to focus on."

"Cancer?" Eddie teased.

Axel coughed out a laugh; fist to his lips. He wouldn't look at her and Eddie didn't blame him. Staring at the street while considering too many things was a specialty of hers. Sometimes she considered if those streets would be where they'd find her one morning if they didn't leave her alone. Splatter. Roadkill. "When I talk to Roman, sometimes I don't feel quite like myself after. And I know that's a good thing, that things are changing. But... what if I don't know who I actually am? Because I haven't met him yet?"

"Is that a bad thing?"

"I don't know."

"Seems silly."

"Doesn't it?"

"You should come back to bed," Eddie said.

"You really want me back there, don't you?"

"It's cold out here."

"You haven't even finished that."

Eddie put it between her lips and tried to ignore it was the only time he looked in her direction. Like he was just realizing she was actually standing beside him. A little too handsy to be her normal self, either. "I don't have to finish this."

"You look tired, too," Axel said. Eyes darting back and forth.

Eddie only broke her gaze to check where she was about to flick her cigarette. Much to her dismay. She did so before she could think twice about it. Let her eyes fall back to those kind, stupid ones that had been nothing other than polite since she'd laid hers on them. "Can I...?"

Axel stared at her again for a moment and nodded. Let her take his hand, but didn't follow her back into the apartment. Eddie turned to look at him.

"Are you—"

Axel pulled her in and there was a soft look in his eyes she hadn't seen before. Every look she got from him previously was lustful, it undressed her, or it was the dorkiest glint that she'd ever seen before the most sarcastic thing she'd ever heard came out of his mouth. He looked kind of... frightened. But Eddie didn't resist it when he leaned in. In fact, she even stood on her toes to make it easier. And his arms found her waist and her arms found his neck and he'd kissed her before but never quite the way he was kissing her now and if Eddie hadn't stopped to think about it, she probably wouldn't have pulled away after a moment.

"Axe—"

"Sorry—" Axel stepped away. "I should've asked—"

"It's not—" Eddie shook her head. "Are you in the right state to be doing that?"

"I've kissed people in worse states."

"That's not a—"

Axel scoffed awkwardly. "Like Ohio. Yikes."

"Axel."

"It didn't seem like a problem when we slept together earlier—"

"It's not a problem now," Eddie said. "I just... wanted to make sure."

Axel ran a hand through his messy hair. "I probably am not. Thank you."

"That doesn't mean—" Eddie caught herself. There it was again. That nauseous, twisting feeling. Like she was a high schooler—maybe even middle schooler—who couldn't admit feelings.

"Eds—" Axel smiled softly in the light of the night and Eddie wanted to press reverse and let him kiss her until they were both blue in the face. "It's okay."

Eddie redirected her thoughts. Back to him in a way that was far less scary than what she'd set out to do in the first place. "I—Do you trust me?"

"Obviously."

Eddie took his hand and dragged him to the bathroom before she could think of something stupid and scary to say. "Can we do something?"

"You know I have a bed—"

"Oh, someone's in a better mood." Eddie rolled her eyes playfully as she turned to face him.

"Someone's not freezing his ass off anymore."

"Someone led himself out there." Eddie took Axel by the shoulders and sat him down on the lid of the toilet. (A bonus point to him: Eddie had never been caught with the seat left up and while that was bare minimum, she almost killed Rush one night for doing the opposite so she was going to take it as a win.) (Being the cause of bare ass to the bowl was a surefire way to put someone at the top of Eddie's hit list.)

"Someone was sad. So he gets a free pass."

Eddie had spotted the box the first time she'd used the bathroom in his apartment. He kept it on the counter like it was a reminder he needed patches to feel complete without reminding himself that patchwork was just as good as buying new. She pulled a patch out of the box, holding it up to him.

"Can I?"

Axel's look from before was even nicer in the full light. Soft eyes and a slightly ajar mouth, corners upturned. Like he had fallen into a dizzy daydream and Eddie had the honour of being the vision.

Eddie opened the package and looked back at him. "Can I—"

Axel nodded. "You can do whatever you need."

Eddie pulled his hoodie up to his shoulders gently. Placed the patch onto and rubbed it to make sure it was on. Tried to ignore that Axel had his hands on her hips like he wasn't going to let her get a step farther away. She cautiously pulled his hoodie back down, careful not to get the nicotine patch stuck to the inside of the hoodie instead of his skin.

Axel hugged her. His head buried in her stomach. Arms wrapped around her. "Thank you."

Eddie ran her fingers through the hair at the back of his head. "You can wake me up next time things are rough."

Axel stayed quiet, but nodded. Still pressed against her.

"When I met you," Eddie said. She took a deep breath in. "It wasn't that day in the bar."

Axel moved his head a little to look up at her but didn't let go of her hips.

"Well. We did meet at the bar," Eddie said. "But it wasn't... It was premeditated. I wanted to see you."

"How'd you know?"

"When I got suspended..." Eddie sighed. "I couldn't look at any news outlet without seeing me punching him. And I know that's my fault. But, you know. When male celebrities beat their wives or men murder their families, they always get this smiling photo to show what a great guy they were even if that photo includes the family that got hurt. But I had one moment of weakness, and it was... everywhere. In the blink of an eye. And I didn't know if I could escape it because it felt like every angle that anyone could've possibly wanted from that night existed and it was scattered everywhere like I was... ashes in some corpse's former favourite place."

Every newsstand could've burned every article about her temper tantrum and scattered the ashes around the arena, a memory of where she used to feel at home.

"The only one that didn't was yours." Eddie smiled softly. Vaguely aware that her fingers were still moving slowly through the sea of blonde. "And I wanted to thank you. Asked around and found out you knew Mav, got there, and... shit the bed. I'm sorry."

Axel laughed lightly. "You don't have to be sorry."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you you're the only one who made me feel respected after that incident in the press," Eddie said. "The interview with Archie was fine, but you were the only one who wanted to paint me in a light that wasn't a terrible moment. And... thank you. I'm sorry I didn't say it before. You deserved to know how much that photo meant."

Axel kissed her stomach because it was the closest thing to him of hers that was easily accessible. "I'm sorry nobody else had the decency to not sell a photo."

Eddie took his head in her hands, fingers along his jaw. Really, really looked into those hazel eyes and searched them for some semblance of anything that frightened her. Kissed his forehead before she gently took his arms off her. Axel looked like she'd kicked him while he was down.

She reached over to the sink, grabbing the box of patches. Looked at him again while she pulled another one out.

Axel raised an eyebrow. "Okay, I may have smoked one but I don't have that big of a smoking problem. Anymore."

Eddie shook her head. Before she could change her mind, she opened the package and took the patch out. Lifted up her hoodie, placed it on the left side of her chest, and pressed down.

Axel stared at her with a small smile.

Eddie rolled her eyes and stepped forward so she could flick him in the bicep. "Someone told me somewhere along the line those cigarette things are bad for you. Imagine that."

Axel took her hand and pulled her close again. Eddie could've stayed there forever.