'Are you sure you're ready to do this?  You could wait one more day if you wanted.'

'I wouldn't be doing this if I wasn't confident.  I'll be fine.'

It's been two days since the incident with the ellons, and in those two days I haven't had a moment's peace. That hasn't been a bad thing, of course, because the two people giving up their time to be with me are Thranduil and Gelya. They take turns spending time with me; when Thranduil has kingly jobs to attend to, he sends Gelya to keep me company.

I think this is very kind of him, as he has taken into account how Gelya and I are becoming friends, and especially as he wishes he was with me all the time. There's always a crestfallen look upon his face when he tells me he has to go, but this afternoon he has put aside to help me achieve something.

I'm going to stand up by myself.

Thranduil nods and gives my hand a little squeeze.  We're sat on the edge of my bed, bathed in the pleasant spring sunlight.  I look over at him, and he places both hands back on his lap.  'Whenever you're ready,' he says, 'I'm here if you need any help.'

'Hannon-lë.'  I prepare myself for the great effort ahead of me.  My leg has been improving these past couple of days, but not so much that it won't be difficult to put weight on it.

Thranduil looks surprised but happy at my use of Sindarin, for I have never thanked him this way before.  I felt that, after a week of knowing him, I should try and use a little more of his language.  One advantage of being a Star is that I have always had expert knowledge of the languages of the different peoples of Middle Earth—Varda made sure we didn't all have to watch events going on without the faintest idea what anyone was saying.

With an almighty push, I use my hands to heave myself up into a standing position, my leg screaming in protest at first but calming in a matter of seconds.  I teeter slightly, but Thranduil places his hand on my back and helps me regain my balance.  My legs are locked, still painful in places, but holding me up like pillars as my upper body shakes and wavers slightly.  My arms are also flung out sideways to keep me steady, as if I'm about to walk a tightrope.

'Thranduil, I... I did it!' I stutter in sheer disbelief, 'I'm standing!'

'Not yet,' he replies calmly, and slowly removes his supporting hand from my back. 'Now you're standing.'

I'm utterly speechless—the amount of time spent waiting for this moment has felt like an eternity. On top of that, this is the first time I have actually stood, unsupported, on my own two feet, ever. I have lived as a Star since the beginning of Arda, and lived in an elleth's body for a week, and only now have I experienced what is a normal action for most inhabitants of the world: standing. It's almost unbelievable how elated I feel at doing such a simple thing.

Thranduil rises and walks around to stand in front of me, surveying me with his hands behind his back and an impressed air about him. He moves forward to carefully assist me in moving my own hands back down to my sides—so I no longer resemble a scarecrow—then stays close to me, for the first time in his life seeing me stood before him. He's several inches taller than me, and I can't help but notice how my head would fit snugly under his chin.

'Hold your head high,' he smiles, 'you are a Lady of the Stars, after all.'

Smiling back proudly, I lift my head up a little and shift myself into a posture one would expect from an Elvenqueen. This seems to please Thranduil, who slips his fingers under my chin to raise my head just the slightest bit higher.

'You are very beautiful...' he says fondly, 'even more so when you're happy.'

I can feel myself blushing at this, my eyes flicking downward to escape Thranduil's gaze but only falling upon his skintight robes, through which the outlines of toned muscles can be seen. 'Thranduil, I...'

'You want to ask me about the kiss, don't you?' he cuts me off. He's right. Neither of us have brought it up over these past two days. As I nod in reply, the fingers that were under my chin begin to twirl around a lock of my gleaming white-blonde hair, which is even lighter than his. 'You want to know if it was real?'

'Yes...' I whisper, still not meeting his eye, 'I fear that... it may have been.'

Thranduil's expression softens and I am compelled to make eye contact. 'Why do you fear that?'

I decide I should speak from the heart. 'I don't think it is right... I have a task to perform, I cannot stay on this earth forever. And you couldn't possibly remarry. And this is all counting on us both wanting it to be real.'

'Which I do.' Thranduil is completely serious.

My heart is pounding faster than it has ever gone before, while my head is swimming with myriad voices shouting muffled words here and there. What do I say? I refuse to believe that either of us could ever love each other, but where does that leave us?

'As much as I want this to be real, as much as I want to be with you, it cannot be. There is no way this could ever work out and I think it is best that I leave as soon as possible, as was the original plan. I must find my task and you must rule your kingdom. We cannot let an attachment to one another prevent us from doing what is more important.'

'I don't believe you...' Thranduil whispers. He slowly encases my hands within his and holds them to his chest. 'We could make it together. You know this.'

'Neither of us know what could happen. However it is far safer for everyone if we stay friends. If I lived in this kingdom, imagine how much I would endanger it. Endanger you. I'm not going to let that happen. You told me yourself how I shouldn't put myself on show, so my departure is the best hope we have.'

'But you cannot go anywhere in this state. You would surely die.'

'I shall leave when I am healed but, I fear the longer I stay, the more danger I'll put you in. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you because of me.'

'Something has already happened to me because of you.' Thranduil bows his head to rest his forehead on mine. 'My broken heart has been cured.'

My heart could almost have stopped. I pause for a moment, feeling Thranduil's breath on my neck and his hands caressing mine. Closing my eyes, I plant a quick kiss on his lips before saying, 'There is no cure for a broken heart.'

'There is. She's standing right before me.'

I pull my head away from his. 'Thranduil, my task was not to cure you of your pain, it is somewhere out in the big, wide world—'

'Maybe here is where it starts.' He tries to kiss me again, his hands over my shoulders, and although I try to resist at first, I am pulled in by a sense of longing. I want to kiss him, I want to stay with him, I want all that he said to be true... but no. I have to stick to what is right, not chase a romance with an Elvenking. I am a Star.

When we come up for air, I look Thranduil right in his penetrating blue eyes. 'I want us to be together just as much as you do. And, Ilúvatar help me, I would see it done. But I am a Star. I have my own task to do, and I refuse to put you in danger because of what I am. You mean too much to me already.'

He lets out a small sigh. 'Why do you fear so much for me?'

All the feelings bottled up inside me decide to spill out. 'Because, as I have cured your broken one, you have started to ignite the heart within me. And by not engaging in a dangerous relationship, I can keep the thing on this earth that is most precious to me alive and well. If you were safe, then I would be the happiest Star ever to have crossed the heavens.'

Thranduil gives a sad smile. 'Then I shall do what makes you happy, for that is what I desire above all else.'

I reflect his sad smile, and he wraps me in a gentle embrace, my head resting on his shoulder. They are done. The two things I knew I would have to face: standing up by myself, and standing up for what is right by refusing the feeling that has taken over my heart. Thranduil will help me recover until I can leave, and that shall be all.

***

Elvish:
Hannon-lë = thank you