Chapter 16- The Emptiness

Madisyn had not left her house for three days. After returning home, the first thing she did was collapse on her bed and in the morning went shopping for food. Since then, she had not moved. Her friends would swing by, trying to cheer her up and convince her to go out, but none of them succeeded. Cwryen Caster even threw a welcome home party, but that only brought her to tears.

Finally, she emerged from her house, but only went as far as her yard. It was mostly empty, since she had let most of her critters go, and the flowers were almost dead from lack of water.

As she watered them, she did not notice she was being watched.

Her house was on the very edge of the Buckeye Forest and she made an effort not to look at it. Perched on one of the trees was the very Frost Giant she was trying to forget.

He had done nothing but watch her the past few days, when he was not sulking. It had all been through the mirror until now. It ached to see her, and up close was even worse. Why did he torture himself then? He could not stay away from her.

He wished he could do more than just worship her from afar. He wanted to take her in his arms and apologize for everything and tell her how much he loved her. Then he would hold her close to his heart with no intention of ever letting go.

But he had already done enough.

"Madisyn!"

At the sound of Vahl Dragonborn's voice, Loki vanished from his hiding place. The dark elf approached her marcher friend, carrying a bag of books.

"Nice to see that you're out and about," she said with a smile. "I brought some books that might cheer you up."

"Thanks," Madisyn muttered. "But I don't think reading's going to make me feel better."

"Well, you have to do something. Maybe what you need is a break, to get your mind off..." She did not dare say it. "Anyway, I'm returning to Columbus tomorrow. You want to come along?"

She did not take time to think about it and nodded.

The next day, Vahl, Madisyn and their four friends were on a train to Columbus. The others had decided to come as well for Madisyn's sake, though it took a while for Nichole Price to convince Diana into letting her have a vacation. Since she had started going out with Chris, Diana had been a little edgy with her. Boise had to stay in Newark and mind the library. Each girl tried to engage Madisyn into a conversation, but she hardly spoke a word.

"And then he said: I'm just a little girl!" Nichole burst out laughing.

"I don't get it," Cwryen said.

"Well, if you heard Chris tell it, you'd think it was funny."

Tatum rolled eyes. "I've heard of love being blind, but deaf?"

"I'm not in love with Chris! We haven't even been going out that long!"

Madisyn let out a whimper that only Alyssa had heard, because she was in the bunk next to her. She patted the tan marcher on the back.

"Hang on, Sugar," she murmured. "We're almost there."

Auer greeted the group at the castle and surprised Madisyn with a hug.

"I never had a chance to thank you," the prince explained. "What you did was very brave."

She did not need to ask what he was referring to.

Madisyn remained in her room until dinner, though she could barely eat. As she fiddled with her fork, she thought of her many mealtimes with Loki. He would always give her what she asked, or surprise her with her favorites. She remembered one time when he made the candles dance and the gravy boat come to life. Those little harmless magic tricks would make her giggle. Somehow, he always managed to put a smile on her face.

Her lack of appetite did not go unnoticed.

"Are you alright, my dear?" Auer inquired.

Madisyn winced, as she was used to hearing that question from someone else. "I'm just not hungry, that's all."

"Maybe you should get some rest," Alyssa suggested, noting the dark circles under her eyes.

All she did was nod as she excused herself from the table.

"She's been like this ever since she came back," Vahl explained to the prince and princess.

"I do not believe you have fully explained how she managed to return," Harleen said.

"Well...he let her go."

The Princess of the Night widened her eyes. "Pardon?"

"That's what happened. He just let her go."

"But...why?"

Vahl shrugged. "She won't talk about what happened and we're afraid to ask."

Alyssa slammed down her fork. "Y'all still don't get it, do ya?"

The southern woman then ran out of the room. Madisyn was outside on the balcony and started to sing. "I'll be your Element of Marching. My love for you is pure and strong. I know your scared and lonely. But you're the one and only. Frost Giant that is in my thoughts tonight. I'll be your Element of Marching. 'Til I am in the clouds above. I will be there beside you. To hold you and to help you. Soon you'll see what it's like to love. A cold and friendless life has found you. Don't let the lonely darkness bring you down. I'll throw my arms around you in a full embrace. Despite your blue skin. I'll be your Element of Marching. This flame inside of me has grown. You have my heart, don't break it. Here's my hand, so take it. Care for me, for you've always known. Although our love has flown. I'll never leave you alone. I'll never leave you alone. I'll never leave you alone. *sighs* Goodnight, Loki." Said Maddie going to bed.

Two hours later, Madisyn lay wide awake in bed, staring at the ceiling. Although she was tired to the bone, she could not sleep. She had gotten used to Loki coming in to say goodnight and then playing her lullaby for her. About a week ago, he had surprised her with a kiss on the forehead.

Her mind then wandered to their last night together, when he had kissed her for real. His lips had felt so cool and gentle against hers. She would never admit this aloud, but that had been the best moment of her life.

Despite what he had tried to do to her, she wanted him here. She wanted to feel his arms around her, to be secure in his embrace. She wanted to hear his voice whispering in her ear, comforting her.

She missed him.

Loki was not getting any sleep either. He tossed and turned on the ceiling all night, but he could not rest. He was thinking of Madisyn, betting that she was sleeping much more peacefully now that she no longer had him to fear. It took all his cognitive power not to check in on her. He had been trying to distance himself for the past few days, but the longing to see her, to hold her in his arms, still lingered.

He jumped out of bed and ran slowly to Madisyn's room. He had not touched it since she had left. He considered turning it into a bowling alley, or a swimming pool, anything to erase any trace of her ever being there. But how could he?

He approached the bed where she had once slept. He could see her lying there on her side, her chest rising up and down ever so slightly. He reached out to touch her, only to realize it was a mirage.

He took the sheets in his hands and pressed them to his face, inhaling her sweet flowery scent. At that moment, he broke into tears.

"I'm so sorry, Madisyn. I'm so sorry."

The next thing Madisyn knew, she was standing in the garden Loki had given her. She did not remember how she had gotten there, but she immediately began searching the Frost Giant out.

"Loki!" she called. "Loki, are you here?"

She heard a moan in the distance. She ran towards the sound, but it seemed further away with ever step she took. Then she saw a broken figure lying on its side. As she got closer, she gasped.

"Loki? What's happened to you?"

The weak Frost Giant rolled over and smiled at the sight of her.

"Ah, Madisyn. Now that I've seen you again, I can die peacefully."

"W-what? No! You can't die! You're immortal!"

"Everything must die eventually, my dear."

"But how? I don't understand!"

He reached out and touched her face. "Trust me. It's better this way."

"No! It can't end like this! Loki!"

She continued calling his name as he faded into nothing. Suddenly, another familiar figure appeared in front of her. She looked up to meet the eyes of Princess Harleen.

"Do not fret, child," she spoke softly. "Loki is still quite alive."

"Princess Harleen! But I saw him... Wait. Am I dreaming?"

"Indeed you are."

"Oh, thank goodness, I thought..."

"What are you doing here, child?"

Madisyn blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Let me rephrase that. Why are you here and not with Loki?"

"Beg pardon, your highness, but did you not hear? He let me go."

"But why did you go?"

"Because...well, he didn't want me and..."

Harleen scoffed. "Didn't want you? I beg to differ. I saw you two in the forest."

Madisyn froze. "You...you saw me kiss him?!"

"No, I saw you dancing...he kissed you?"

The marcher shrunk in embarrassment. "I...just once..."

"My point is that in all the years that I have known Loki, I have never seen him look at anybody the way he looked at you. It is clear that he cares for you and that you were happy. So what happened?"

"Um...I said some things I didn't mean and...he got mad and...well..." She could not go on.

"Hmm," Harleen pondered. "It seems to me like he was simply hurt, but only because of his affections for you."

"How can you be sure that's what it was?"

"Why else would he let you go?"

Madisyn was about to answer when the image rippled, indicating that she was waking up.

"Listen to your heart, child!" Harleen called as she teleported out of the dream.

She sat up in bed and sighed. "Oh, what am I going to do?"

Loki was in the garden, sitting by the pond, staring at his reflection.

"What are you sulking about?" his image inquired. "You don't need that girl. You got along fine without her before."

"I did not know her before," Loki grumbled.

"Doesn't matter! You're better off!"

"Then why do I feel so empty?"

"Because you gave up your control of Ohio! A very stupid thing to do, by the way! Hey, maybe the humans are so in shock that they're vulnerable enough for attack!"

He sighed. "What's the point? None of it matters."

His reflection was confused. "None of it matters? You're the God of Mischief, for crying out loud! You have powers beyond comprehension! You're saying none of that matters?"

"None of it." He conjured a rose to sniff. "Not since...her."

The image rolled its eyes. "Well, fine! If you want the girl so bad, why did you let her go in the first place?"

"Because..." he gazed up at the starry sky. "I love her."

"So steal her back! I don't care! Just quit your moping!"

"I can't do that. Did you see the way she looked at me? She'll never see me as anything...but a monster."

He splashed the water, causing his reflection to ripple. He then buried his face in his hands and sobbed.

When Madisyn came down to the kitchen, she found Alyssa preparing a plate of sandwiches.

"Well, ain't this déjà vu?" the cowgirl said once she noticed her friend. "I'm guessin' you're down here for the same reason."

"Huh?" Madisyn questioned, tilting her head.

"Last time we were down here, ya had a dream about Loki."

"Well, uh...yes. But why are you here?"

"Couldn't sleep," Alyssa said, handing her a sandwich. "I've been worryin' about ya, Sugar Cube. Ya don't eat, ya don't sleep, ya hardly speak..."

"I'm just recovering from...well, you know. That's all."

"I think it's a little more than that."

"What do you mean?"

"I'll explain later. First, tell me about yerr dream."

She told Alyssa every last detail, including the part where Harleen had appeared. Alyssa nodded as she listened.

"So this garden...I saw it while we were at the castle. Ya sayin' Loki made that for you?"

"Yes," Madisyn muttered, fiddling with her still uneaten sandwich.

"Huh. That would explain where yerr critters went off to. And you told the princess that you and Loki...kissed?" She hung her head. "I'm not tryin' to pressure ya, Sugar. You were with him for a whole month. I just wanna know what happened. I promise I won't bring up any of it with the others."

She sighed. "I was terrified at first. I explained to him I wanted to fall in love before I got married, just to stall for time. Then he started asking me if I loved him. Well, then we sort of...got to know one another and...he became so kind and gentle and respected my space. Whenever I saw him, I could not help but smile. I...I miss him. I know I really shouldn't, after the party...oh, he was so upset..."

"I think that was mostly our fault, hon. I'm the one who put you on the spot and asked you if you loved him. I'm real sorry for that. It's just...you know you have all the symptoms? Even now? Blushin', lack of appetite and sleep..."

"Maybe it's not what you think!" Madisyn snapped.

"Maybe it's exactly what I think!"

"How do you know?"

"Because that's how I felt after the Wolverine incident!"

They both grew silent. Then Madisyn dropped her sandwich and looked away.

"I don't know, Alyssa! I miss him, but I don't know if I..."

Alyssa laid a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, I was in denial too. It took me a while before I realized my feelings."

"What do you expect me to do? Go back to him?"

"I expect you to follow Princess Harleen's advice and do what your heart tells ya."

"You saw what happened! What if he becomes possessive over me again? What if I'm wrong? What if our friendship was all a trick? What if this was just some game to him?"

"Ya know what they say, Sugar Cube. If you love somethin', set 'em free."

Madisyn lifted her head in realization. "But he did set me free." She spun to face her friend. "Oh Alyssa, can't you see he loves me? He didn't want me unhappy, so he let me go! Oh, he must be so lonely right now! What if my dream comes true? Oh, Alyssa, I have to see him! I need to make this right!"

"Look, I said listen to yerr heart, but if you do decide to go back, don't just do it for Loki. Do it for yourself. Love is just as selfish as it is selfless. Are you going back because he wants you or you want him?"

"Both! Oh, I can't deny it anymore! I love him! Despite it all, I love him! You hear me? I love him!"

She heard a gasp behind her and Madisyn turned to see Cwryen, Vahl, Nichole Price and Tatum standing in the doorway, their mouths dropped open.

"H-how long have you been standing there?" Madisyn stammered.

Neither of them said anything for a while, until Cwryen suddenly burst into excitement.

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Madisyn's in love! And he loves you too! That is so romantic! You know what this calls for?"

"NO!" everybody cried in unison.

"You mean you're not mad?" Madisyn asked in wonder.

"Sweetie, we don't know what to think," Tatum explained. "We saw you've been miserable for the past few days. Now we know why. What we don't understand is how? How could you have fallen in love with that mon...Frost Giant?"

She faced her friends defiantly. "I know it's hard for you to understand, I find it hard to understand as well, and I don't expect you to ever understand, but Loki is not as evil as you think. He might have been before, but he's changed."

"Even if you're right," Nichole said slowly, "how do you know he really cares for you?"

"He let me go."

"What if he just felt guilty or something? Not to be judgmental or anything, but it's a possibility."

"We just don't want you to get hurt," Tatum added.

"I don't need your approval," Madisyn declared. "I am going back to Loki, whether you like it or not."

"We don't like it," Vahl confirmed. "We cannot stand to see you in the clutches of a monster. But...if he really has changed like you said..."

"He has! Believe me!"

"But we cannot let you go out in the Buckeye Forest alone and into the home of an unpredictable Frost Giant!"

Madisyn hung her head again.

"Which is why we're coming with you."

Her ears perked up. "You are?"

"We are?" Nichole asked. She cried out as Alyssa poked her in the ribs. "Ow!"

"You bet your sweet shoes we are!" the cowgirl exclaimed.

"Ooh, this is gonna be fun!" Cwryen said, jumping for joy.

Nichole Price sighed. "Oh, what the heck? Somebody's gotta protect you!"

"We may not understand your feelings for Loki," Vahl explained, "but who are we to stand in the way of you doing what you think is right?"

Madisyn smiled at her friends. "Thanks, girls."

"Hold on!" Tatum commanded. "You're about to make a declaration of true love! You need to look stunning!"

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