Chapter Two

Joel paced the room a few times before he spoke, all the while trying to muster the strength to respond to her, "I'll be anything you need me to be for her."

Sammy scoffed at that, "I haven't seen you since his funeral. You didn't call, you haven't visited. You haven't cared."

He nodded, "I didn't think you needed me."

"You owed it to Marcus." She was shaking her head indignantly, pain so evident on her face.

Joel stared at her for a moment, "you're right. I did. I should have..." He ran a hand through his hair, "it's been difficult."

She gave a small sharp laugh, "you don't have to tell me that! I have been through it all..." When he sighed she added, "I am a widow...after four months. Do you have any idea what that feels like?"

Shaking his head he felt his head hang. But Sammy wasn't taking any prisoners, "you KNEW him, you could help me...and you were meant to be her godfather." There was such sadness in her words, she sounded so defeated that it tore at his heart. He watched her bottom lip quiver for a moment, then she pulled herself to his feet, "I can't do this. You don't care."

At that he saw red; he'd lived in limbo for the last year, not able to get over losing Marcus, and not knowing what to do. But he was sick of being blamed, sick of it always being his fault. Without thinking he leaned across the desk, hands braced firmly as he thrust his head towards her, "he was my best friend. He was EVERYTHING to me! I lost half of ME too, we were like brothers. I have my grief too."

She shook her head, "so that excuses you running away? Deserting me? You promised that you'd be there for Marcus, I thought that extended to me too."

He wanted to scream but the sight of the still sleeping baby silenced that, "how can I be anything for you if I can't be anything for me? I've been lost too. I've not known what to do. Was there room in your life for someone to leach YOUR strength? Did you have time and energy to comfort me to let me grieve? Because I sure as hell needed someone too...I was bringing anything to the table, I can assure you of that."

"We could have grieved together!"

He sighed, "that's not true. You were having a baby; you needed positive people around you."

"Maybe, but I needed someone who knew him, someone who could remind me of why I loved him. You were the only one..."

He shook his head, "you had his family for that. I wasn't up to that, not me. You didn't need ME sitting moping in the corner of the room, snapping at everyone and wondering WHY THE HELL someone like him had to be in that taxi, why MY best friend had to die the EXACT same why that my parents did."

A hushed silence swept across the room as Sammy stared at Joel, face red with anger, eyes filled with tears. She'd never realised that his parents had died, and definitely not that it was in a car crash.

"Sorry," he murmured turning away from her. She knew that he was embarrassed, that he hadn't wanted her to see him like that, to see into his tortured soul, because that was what she's seen.

She moved around the desk and placed a hand on his arm, "no, it's ME that's sorry. Joel. Please."

His eyes dropped to her hand, then finally lifted to meet her gaze, "I shouldn't have said that..."

"No, I shouldn't have taken out my anger on you. It's just been such a hard time."

Joel's smile was both sad and understanding, "I didn't think I could make things any easier for you."

Tears threatened at her eyes as she smiled back, "I just want to remember everything about him, and it's getting harder and harder."

He nodded; his own words threatened by emotion, so he just placed an arm around her and gave her an awkward hug, trying not to squash Eleanor.

At that moment a knock at the door preceded Janet arriving with refreshments and they both needed the moment to regroup.

"I'm glad you came Sammy, really I am."

She'd almost forgotten the reason that she was there, he was taking her home, and it seemed strange to imagine that after the emotion they had shared.

"I came for a reason."

"I guessed that much. What is it?"

Sammy took a deep breath, "I can't let you take our home, it is all that we have left." She glanced down at her daughter, "I can't believe that you'd try and do that."

He sat in his seat, surprised, she could tell that, but his eyes never left her, "I don't know what you mean."

She reached for the tea that Janet had brought and gratefully sipped at it. Placing down the mug she met his eyes once more, "Marcus told me the apartment was ours, that it was his security. Now I'm about to lose it, and I can't understand."

Joel was eyeing her suspiciously, "I'll help you, of course I will. But what has that got to do with me?"

"Daniel said it was a business property...you're the other half of the business." She saw him flinch, a couple of times and didn't know what that meant. "Are you trying to repossess it?"

He laughed, "do you think I'd take that from you? Really?"

She shrugged then dropped her eyes, rooting around her bag until she found the letter she'd received and slapped it on his desk.

Joel read the words, not recognising the name at the top of the letter, it was nothing to do with him. None the wiser, he lifted his head and watched her try to regroup, a million questions were milling around his head, he had no idea what this was about, Marcus had separated their finances before he died, he had no control anymore.

"I don't know anything about it Sammy, I swear. But I will investigate. Who's looking after his finances? Was it mentioned in his will? What about his pension?"

She held up a hand then grimaced, "YOU were his partner, I don't know."

"You don't know?" That was typical of her, she wasn't money orientated at all. He had always known that deep down. "About his will?"

"Any of it." She murmured her eyes still dropped.

"Who organises your income?" She shrugged and he felt sick, "you have a regular income from him?"

She shook her head, "we're down to our last few thousand...there's not enough to rent somewhere else...I'm going to have to go back to work..."

He punched the desk and shouted, then grimaced at Eleanor opening her eyes, lips parted ready to screech. Sammy stoked her forehead gently and the eyes and lips closed simultaneously. "Nothing? You've had nothing? He had investments...capital."

Again she shrugged and he wished she'd do more than that, "I don't know. Sorry."

"Don't apologise to ME! I have to sort this out. Will you let me investigate?"

"Would you?"

He nodded, "it's the least I can do for Marcus's girls."

Sammy felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders as she stepped out into the spring sunshine. Maybe she could treat herself to lunch...before Ellie woke demanding her own lunch. As she turned away from the City skyscraper she'd just exited, she heard a long low wolf whistle. Turning to snarl at whoever had made such a crass gesture, she froze mid scowl when she spotted the smiling face and cerise pink hair of her best friend Corinne.

"Eek!" It was a squeal as she rushed across the pavement. Corinne was the only person who knew what she was doing that afternoon and she'd obviously come to offer moral support all the way from her West Country home. "What the hell are you doing here?"

She grinned reciprocating the hug, "well, it was Wednesday afternoon, it was quiet at work..."

"It's NEVER quiet at your salon!" Cornwall was a long way from the hectic schedule of London, but her best friend's hair salon was always busy.

"Ok, ok. I've taken a day off to support my best mucker...and visit THE cutest little lady. What's wrong with that?"

A million reasons sat on Sammy's tongue, her friend had taken SO many days off work to support her in so many ways for so many reasons over the last year, this was just one of very many. But she didn't care, after the emotions of confronting Joel she needed her more than she realised.

"You are THE perfect person, do you know that? If I could even begin to show you..."

Corinne as usual sensed Sammy's emotional distress and brushed it away, "come on, lunch...on you!"

Grabbing Sammy's hand, she dragged her off in the direction of one of London's many eateries.

"So the demon becomes the angel? Gorgeous Joel is going to save the day?"

Sammy wished she hadn't just almost inhaled half her sandwich as she was about to choke on that question. She chewed frantically.

"He was never a demon...he was just absent. And you never appreciated his looks on the zillion times I asked you to double date with me and Marcus."

Corinne waggled an eyebrow, "I didn't say I wanted to date him, but you have to admit he's taken on a knight in shining armour role here."

She regretted sharing the meeting with her friend for a brief moment, but then she was right, a confrontation had been averted and suddenly Joel was dealing with things, she'd missed that, a man taking control. That was what she'd loved about Marcus, he was the first person who wanted to care for her, do things for her, she'd forgotten how completely antifeminist yet so very rewarding that was.

She nodded, "suppose so. It's just nice to not have to worry for the first time in ages. I can take a breath, you know?"

Corinne smiled, "yep. So his parents? That was a surprise."

Sammy chewed thoughtfully, "I didn't know that they were dead, let alone that is was in a car accident. He looked pretty upset."

"Well you most of all know that they were close, he and Marcus. I can't imagine how I'd feel if anything happened to you. Let's hope that things are better now. Yes?"

Eleanor was a little restless in her friend's arms, but she was grateful for the opportunity to eat her food without having to juggle her daughter. Instead she reached for her baby and took her into her arms and both women collectively 'aahhed' as the tiny face broke into a smile.

Joel hated that he couldn't get hold of Toby his lawyer, he'd been calling him repeatedly since Sammy had left his office. He still had a million questions, but he had to get someone collecting information for him, and Toby's office were the best at that. His office was only a few blocks away, and his adrenaline, anger and frustration meant that he couldn't concentrate on a single item on his 'to do' list, so, he reached for his coat. Anything but thinking about Sammy, her sadness...and the way he'd snapped, opened up in a way he should never have.

"Janet, I'm going to see Toby...Ferris. I've got my mobile phone. Let me know if Parker's email me?"

She looked up from behind her desk and hid her surprise as best she could, "ok, will do boss."

Fortunately the lift was empty, he wasn't in the mood for small talk and he knew so many that worked in the building, all he could think about was Sammy and her cute baby, and the fact that they were almost broke. He KNEW that Marcus had money...more than he should've had, so where was it? Why were those two struggling? God he hated being out on a limb.

As he left the building, something caught his eye, to his right was a small coffee shop, he'd bought many a takeaway latte there in the past, but it wasn't the thought of coffee or a doughnut that had snagged his attention, but the woman sat in the window holding her baby at arms' length obviously gooing and gaahing at her as she grinned was Sammy. A happy, enlightened Sammy, looking a little more like the woman he remembered from the previous years, like a new mother should look, rather than the shell of a woman who'd descended on his office an hour earlier.

He felt that same pain as the moment she'd walked into his office, she'd been through hell, he had to sort with this, work out what the hell Marcus had done with all his money and make her secure. She deserved that. She deserved to be happy after this hell year.

"Are you hungry little lady?"

Sammy came out of the bedroom where she'd been putting away her laundry at the sound of her daughter crying grumpily from her position on the play mat in the middle of the lounge. As she stooped to pick her up her head throbbed and she rued the glasses of wine that she'd shared with her best friend the night before. That and her early rising daughter were conspiring to make her day both very long and hard.

Corinne had called to say she'd made her train an hour earlier, so when she sat on the sofa and started to feed Eleanor, the knock at the door surprised her. Lifting Eleanor to burp her, she covered herself back up, then rubbing the baby's back, she made for the door.

She didn't expect to see Daniel, her brother-in-law stood there smiling.

"Hi. I was passing."

She lifted an eyebrow in question, he lived the other side of the city to her, and didn't work anywhere near her home, "you want to come in?"

He nodded then followed her into the lounge, "how are things?"

Sammy suddenly realised he was asking about her trip to see Joel and he had an almost bloodthirsty glint in his eyes. It made her a little unsettled.

"I'm good. A friend turned up last night so I'm more relaxed than I have been for ages."

He nodded again, "that's good."

"I was just feeding Ellie..." she wasn't exactly keen to bare her breast in front of him, that felt wrong. So instead she found a muslin square and used that to screen her baby from him.

"So did you see Joel?"

Sammy paused for a moment wondering where Daniel's interest came from; he seemed to be gloating more than concerned. "I did. It's in hand."

He smiled at that, "that's good, so you're going to stay here? He's sorting things out?"

Shrugging she lifted Ellie once more, placing her over her shoulder as she straightened her blouse, "he seems to think that no one can evict us. He'll let me know when he works anything out."

"Do you want me to speak to him? Is this a bit much for you?"

She shook her head, "for the first time in too long I feel that I'm actually doing something, that things are working out. I need that for me."

And that wasn't bravado, maybe she was starting to see a way out of the hellhole of a pit that she'd been stuck in for a year.

N^Bؒ