Chapter Twenty Six

The local Chinese restaurant could win awards; the food was fresh and a lot lighter than a lot of the London takeaways he frequented. The four of them sat at the table sharing the food, along with a bit more alcohol, and Corinne was relaying tales of her and Mike's trip away to Manchester rather animatedly, and the three of them were laughing at her antics.

It was nice to see Sammy smile again, it seemed so long since he'd seen her happy, and he wasn't helping that. He'd leave; he'd decided that as the evening progressed. He would sort out the paperwork for Clifford, then drive back to London, that was what was best for her, he was an unnecessary complication. Plus it was the best thing for him. The glimpse of her bra through her wet t-shirt earlier had had a ridiculous effect on his body; he still couldn't catch her eye now. The cold shower and become icy before he'd got his libido back under control. He'd spent the day convincing himself that the kiss was a mistake, but tonight had proved he was wrong.

He liked Sammy far more than he should and he needed distance to deal with that.

Watching her chuckle, her face light up, even that did warm things to his body. Suddenly he knew how she tasted, and it was having a ludicrous effect on him. He wanted more and he couldn't stay around and not have that. The only option was to leave. Soon. For sanity.

"So do you?" Corinne was laughing at him as her words penetrated his deep thought pathway.

"Sorry, I was miles away."

She laughed again, "can see that. You need to keep your finger on the pulse Mr Edwards."

Mike joined in with the laughter, "she's right, she's talking about a half marathon, and YOU almost got yourself tied up in it."

Joel groaned, "I can't do running, football, volleyball, the gym at a push, but I can't do running, not for thirteen bloody miles!"

Sammy nodded in agreement, "see it's just you Corinne, you are the token crazy around here."

"Aw Sammy, can't you join me?"

She shook her head, "this body wasn't designed to run. Can't you see that?"

Joel had to bite his tongue to hide the moan that threatened to escape his lips at the images that conjured up. Because she was right, someone as curvaceous as she was could never run that far seriously, then there was the thought that she would lose some of that softness...he hated that. She was perfect. He thought back to the first time he saw her on that beach in Greece, it was an image he'd fought to expel from his mind for years, he'd hidden his attraction to her since the day that Marcus showed interest in her. But now it was there, in vivid technicolour, un-policed since they'd shared that kiss.

"You ok?"

He was in the kitchen stacking the plates when he felt Sammy approach, he sensed her before she spoke. Turning he studied her for a moment. She was pale, paler even by her standards, but then he knew that was the stress she was under taking its toll. But her eyes were warm, her full mouth soft, free of tension, she hadn't been this relaxed in days.

"Good, that was great food..." he took the plates she held then smiled, "company wasn't too bad either."

She smiled then, a real smile, "you're right, sorry I've been so distant, these last few days have been hard."

That was an understatement, but he wasn't about to make this more difficult, he was enjoying the fact that there was no animosity between them too.

"So is Monica all set for coming home?"

She nodded, "all set to make my life hell. But then that's her full time job."

Sammy and Corinne had shared a few glasses of wine, but he didn't think she was drunk, but she was relaxed and he loved that.

"I'm just making coffee, do you want one?"

She nodded, leaning her hip against the work surface as he expertly set about filling the machine. "I'll get the cups," she finally offered as she moved away from his proximity, Joel let out the breath he was holding. He felt like a hormonal teenager not a twenty nine year old man. He had to get over this.

Pouring her a mug, he filled ones for Mike and Corinne also, then between them they carried them into the lounge. But the sight that met them was of the two friends embroiled in a display of public affection that was rather more than acceptable.

"Do I have to say 'get a room'?" Sammy broke the silence.

The other two looked up guiltily, and Corinne spoke, "sorry, just thinking about our trip..."

"Thinking about a month in Asia makes you want to screw on Monica's sofa?"

Corinne blushed but the other three laughed, "ok, so that's a lame excuse. But have I thanked you for your help with the salon...are you able to still do that what with the house and Monica?"

Sammy handed her a mug of coffee, nodding, "I've looked at childcare options, the house will be completed by Christmas...you don't go until late January. I have plenty of time."

It sounded so much easier coming from her, but Joel was becoming expert at reading Sammy, she was worried, but it true Sammy fashion she didn't want to let her friend down. He hoped he could help, in fact he was enjoying his time away from London, he could do more of this, as long as he made things right first.

He was standing near the window watching Corinne and Mike fall drunkenly into a taxi when he heard the front door close, and felt her once again move into the same room as him. Turning he offered her a smile again.

"Can I say something?"

That made her stop in her tracks, "as long as it doesn't end in a fight. I'm too tired."

He stepped towards her and took her hand, ignoring the frisson of excitement that the contact caused, "I don't want to fight. I just want to apologise, for the other night. The kiss."

She blushed, "you don't have to apologise, it was..."

"I shouldn't have done it. We were emotional, it was..."

She nodded, "a mistake."

It was exactly what he was about to say, but to here it coming from her lips...it hurt, far more than it should.

Instead he nodded, "I've really enjoyed being here, and I want to spend more time with..." he stopped himself saying you then taking a deep breath he offered, "...Eleanor. It's been so much fun, and I feel it's what I should be doing..."

And there he was again, Marcus reminding him of exactly where he stood in the whole scope of the world, still in the shadow of his best friend, even from behind the grave.

"What are your intentions? With my daughter and my granddaughter?"

Joel groaned, Monica had been home from hospital for all of four hours, and she already had him furious...and now on the back foot.

"Hmm, let me think...childminding the one so that the other can graciously donate ALL her time to you, cooking food for them both, and now you, and generally being a friend. Why? What's your concern?"

Monica's eyes widened, since she'd walked in from the hospital she'd had Sammy running around in circles. Currently she was at the supermarket looking for green tea. Someone had advised Monica that it was a great antioxidant and that it was an essential to help counteract the side effects of the chemotherapy. That may be true, he was no expert, but it was the fifth or sixth demand that she'd made on her daughter in just a few hours.

A heated blanket, decaff coffee, a special protective shampoo...and Sammy was so eager to help, so desperate to please her that she disappeared off agreeably every time.

"You're freeloading in MY house."

Joel laughed, "ok, YOU keep telling yourself that. It's been a weekend..."

"I want you to leave. Now."

That caught his attention and he stared at her, "you care so little for your daughter? I'm the only one here for her."

She shook her head, "you are a huge part of her abandoning me, you've helped her buy this bloody house. Without you around she'll stay."

"I'm not going. I'm here for her; it's nothing to do with you. And anyway, she needs her own place, her own home. She's not being selfish wanting that, but maybe you're being selfish in resisting her independence."

Monica glared for a moment, "she's my daughter. I need her here."

That made him laugh out loud, "she hasn't been your daughter for the last twenty five years, yet suddenly now, when you need her you change. Throwing all this guilt at her."

"You know nothing!"

"I know that she's needed a mother on a zillion occasions and you were too busy partying, or holidaying, or fucking." That made her face turn red and he wasn't sure whether it was anger or embarrassment, "you remember Paul, Nicolas's friend from the wedding. You weren't being mother of the bride when you were showing her up her like that, were you?"

"Who are you to judge me?"

He shrugged, "I am the only person who is putting her first. Maybe you should take a leaf out of that book."

"I have CANCER!" She shouted finally the anger coming to the service.

"And I feel sorry for you because of that. But don't make Sammy's life more difficult than it has to be, please."

For a moment he thought he saw some understanding, some compassion in her eyes, but when Monica finally spoke, she snarled at him, "I'll tell her you touched me, that you made a move on me."

He shook his head, "like you said, you are ill, she'd never believe I'd do that."

Monica shrugged, "well then - you confessed to me that you were here purely to get in her knickers, you told me you were pretending to be all chivalrous, to care about her, but instead you are worming yourself into her arms and her bed."

Joel stared at her for a moment, "how the fuck did that generous and loyal woman come out of you? You truly are a bitch." He had no choice with the way things were; he needed to extract himself from this war. So he gave her a sarcastic manner, "I was leaving tomorrow anyway, but I can go today, not because of your threats, but because I really can't sit around to see you poison Sammy."

Monica looked stunned for a moment, "just like that?"

He nodded, "it would break her heart to know what you've said to me, that the woman she has YET again dropped everything for has betrayed her on every level. She doesn't deserve that, so instead of upsetting her I will pretend that the last five minutes haven't happened, but I'll leave for my own reasons. And from the distance of London I can make sure that she keeps going with her plan to move into her own home."

When Monica scowled he gave a very dry laugh, "I will do everything I can to see her get what she needs. You've made the wrong enemy in me Monica."

An hour later he had gathered his bags and was sat in the lounge waiting for her when the door opened. Looking up at Sammy he smiled, "you ok?"

She looked exhausted, hence the question, but he knew that she wouldn't admit to that. Instead he watched as she shrugged.

"Is Ellie asleep?" Before he could nod a reply, she gasped, "what's going on?" Her eyes were on his bags then flashing up at his, "are you leaving?"

He nodded, "I was planning on tomorrow, but Jan has called me about some urgent paperwork. I'm going to leave now. Ok?"

For a moment he thought she'd cry, so he jumped to his feet and grabbed her hands, "sorry, I feel like I'm abandoning you."

He watched as she bit her lip, did anything to NOT be upset. She needed him so much and he felt like a complete bastard, but he wasn't about to bring her world crashing down around her. He liked her too much for that.

"I know you have a life, I'm just grateful for everything you've done for me."

He smiled, "it was more than a pleasure. I will be back, to help you out when you're salon sitting."

Sammy's smile was sad and made him feel a complete bastard, "you are welcome ANY time, ok?"

With a sigh he pulled her into his arms, his lips touching the top of her head, "and I'm there ANY time you need me, ok?"