Chapter Nineteen

Sammy looked at Clifford and hated that she felt so much sympathy for him. But she did. In front of her was a man who had been ruined. In the last two years he'd seen his oldest son die, then his mother, shortly followed by his other son blowing up so publicly, the fall out of which discredited the whole family, and their business in one hit.

He glossed over Margaret's role in everything, but she could tell that it cut him to the core, and he looked visibly shaken as he apologised to her for his family's behaviour towards her and Eleanor.

"I've never wanted apologies Clifford, all I've ever wanted was for Eleanor to keep in touch with her father's family...and that ended up biting me right on the arse."

He squirmed at that and she offered an apologetic smile, "I appreciate the olive branch, but you must see that it is too little too late."

Nodding he steepled his hands in front of him, "and I am not here expecting you to open doors for me, I am not here to manipulate you into doing what I want."

"But?"

He laughed, "I would love to see Eleanor, in the future when you're ready. I want to her to be part of my life more than anything." She noted that he said my and not our, and that made her sad for him for a moment. "But what I really want, why I wanted to see you...was to make sure that you both have what you need."

"I don't need anything from you. Though I appreciate your concern."

"You gave up everything to come here, to live with my son, and he was providing for you, securing your future."

"I gained more than I lost coming to London."

Smiling he leaned back in his seat, "I'm not saying that. But due to my other son all of the work and effort that Marcus put into life, to building and growing. He dreamed of retiring to Greece, he told me that before he died, that he wanted to buy a house on a beach and spend every day swimming in the sea."

Sammy bit her bottom lip, that sounded SO like Marcus, he held Greece in some sort of reverence, because he'd met her there, because it was all that was idyllic in his mind. The fact that he planned to return there made her want to smile...and cry, in equal measures. He was always so thoughtful, and he had loved her beyond any level she had ever expected.

"He would hate to see me step back and let you struggle. I had no idea what Daniel had been doing. Marcus was always so switched on, and whilst he never thought he'd die so young..." he took a gulp of emotion then continued. "He'd never predict that, but I KNOW that he was planning for the future, investing, saving. That was taken by..." He shook his head, "I don't even want to call him my son."

Sammy reached out and placed a hand on his, "if you have any doubt on your parenting skills look at Marcus and the girls. A bad egg is a bad egg. You can't blame yourself for that."

"I can blame myself for letting Margaret cover for him, excuse him, mother him. I won't speak to her whilst she supports him so unconditionally. She's telling the world that she is shunning me, as usual she needs to be on control, even now, as the world is falling apart around us."

Again Sammy smiled, "so you love your wife, to the level that Marcus loved me. He learned that from you. It wasn't all bad. Honestly. Don't be hard on yourself."

"It'll take a long time to get clear of all this, to not feel the guilt and regret I do. I want to absolve, as much as I can. You are a victim, and I can help."

"I don't feel a victim, and I don't need help."

He sat back in his chair, "Joel told me you were stubborn, that you'd not accept anything from anyone."

She bristled a little, "I don't need help Clifford, I don't."

"Because no one has ever helped you that much. I get that," as she made to protest he silenced her. "Joel told me you're looking at a home, a cottage for the two of you."

"He has no right to tell you anything!"

Clifford smiled, "Sammy, that home would be yours if you had what Marcus wanted for you. Now all I want is security, safety and happiness for the family my son left behind. You may be proud, you may be stubborn...and you'll hate me for this. But I am buying that home, outright, for my granddaughter. I know you won't take it. It'll be in your name until she's twenty one, at which point you can transfer it to her...if you want to."

Tears were building at her eyes she couldn't meet his face as she struggled to control her emotions. He had her, she couldn't refuse this on behalf of Eleanor, he'd found a loop, found a way to defeat her interminable pride, and whilst she felt anger at him forcing her hand, she also felt profound relief.

"I understand that you want to be independent Sammy, I know that this goes against everything you believe. But you've been let down by my family, your home was snatched from under you. There is no way that you'll get this house without help. You HAVE to take this. It won't be a mortgage. I will by the place outright, it'll be safe, yours...forever."

The tears were no longer contained and Clifford shuffled around the table to pull her into a hug, and she sobbed into his shoulder. Cried for SO many reasons.

When she finally looked up at him, she didn't care that her face was blotchy, eyes puffy, "thank you." It was almost a whisper, "you are so like Marcus, he always did things that I could never refuse."

Clifford laughed, "all I ask in return is that you think about letting me meet Eleanor in the future."

She'd made the biggest mess in his office, but Joel didn't care. He was sat cross legged on the rug with Eleanor when Jan stuck her head around the door.

"I never thought I'd see the day!"

He looked up and laughed, "maybe I should sit on this rug and rip my mail into shreds on a more regular basis. It's quite cathartic."

Jan laughed, "presume you don't want to talk to Toby? He's on line one."

Joel looked from her to the cherubic little girl he was entertaining and shook his head, "tell him I am in a very important meeting. I'll speak to him later."

He could hear Jan laugh as she returned to her desk. At that point Eleanor spotted a cupboard that she had yet to investigate and pulled herself to her feet and waddled over to it.

"There's nothing in here I'm afraid." He crawled beside her, and looked over her shoulder at the gym bag that sat there. "It's just some smelly old gym kit."

She turned and looked up at him with a toothy grin that melted his heart with its adorability, then watched as she pulled the bag out and started to try to open it.

"Shit! What the hell is she doing?"

He heard the voice of Sammy from the door and turned with a coy smile, but that froze on his face when he saw her face, her devastated, tear ravaged face.

"Shit. Sammy." He jumped to his feet and sprinted the short distance to her and then stopped awkwardly, not feeling as though he should pull her into his arms. Her bottom lip quivered with emotion and he literally dragged her to him, "what the hell has happened?"

Shaking her head she relaxed into him, and in that moment he was relieved that she didn't hate him. If she knew about what he'd said to Clifford, she didn't hate him, and so he was grateful for that. After a few seconds she lifted her head away from his chest, but didn't meet his eyes, "it looks like a bomb has hit this place."

He shrugged loosening the grip on her, "who cares? She's had fun, and so have I!"

Stepping back she finally lifted her eyes to his, "I need to get out of here. Let me help you..." As she moved to help clean up he stopped her.

"It's Friday, I can knock off early, let me take you two out to dinner." Suddenly it was imperative that he kept her close, made sure that the afternoon hadn't been a disaster.

"We've got a long train journey."

He smiled, "which Eleanor is too tired for. Look, stay at mine..." as she hesitated he gave a chuckle, "I have spare rooms and this is not Daniel's theory coming true. You've had a traumatic day, the last thing you need is a long journey."

"You can't put us up, it's an imposition."

Shaking his head he scooped Eleanor, who had toddled across the room to him, up into his arms, "hey little lady, you want a sleep over at mine?"

She merely giggled then swatted him on the nose, as he feigned injury she laughed even harder.

Sammy sighed, "we haven't got a travel cot."

Stepping towards the reception, he called out, "Jan? Do you have a travel cot we could borrow? This little lady is shattered."

Jan peeped around the door making Eleanor laugh, "you know me, anything baby related and I have it to hand."

He nodded, "excellent, could I borrow it?"

"Of course, I'll see if Paul can drop it to yours later?"

"If we get some dinner we could detour home in the taxi via yours."

She shook her head, "I've got spare keys, we'll take it there later. We're going to Carla's tonight, so we're leaving the city about six, that way neither of is waiting for the other."

Sammy watched Joel swish through the tables as he crossed the restaurant back towards her and Eleanor, they'd had a lovely meal and he hadn't pressed her to talk about her afternoon meeting with Clifford. As a meeting with the estranged man who is father of your deceased husband goes, it went well. She still wasn't completely sure that accepting his financial gift was right, but he was right in that she had to think about Eleanor and her future as much as she had to acknowledge her own stubbornness.

"Sorry about that." He slid into the seat opposite her, much to Eleanor's absolute pleasure, and tickled her under the chin. "Toby's been trying to get hold of me all day, and I've been putting him off."

"About selling the business?"

He reached for his beer and took a long drink, he'd excused himself when his phone rang and took the call outside. "Amongst other things...there are changes on the horizon."

She drank from her own glass of wine before commenting, "as long as they are all for the good, and because you want them."

She was personally all too familiar with the impact of forced changes. She never envisaged being back at home with Monica, but there she was, living with her mother, something she would NEVER have chosen...but by denying help to buy the cottage that's exactly what you are choosing."

"You're miles away!"

Joel's voice jolted her back to reality and she smiled, "been a long day. Sorry."

As usual he just smiled, so genial, so understanding, no one was that nice, surely. "Come on; let's get a cab back to mine. Your little girl looks shattered too."

She followed him out into the street, Eleanor peeking back at her over her shoulder, he should look out of place in this child friendly restaurant chain, his suit, his demeanour all would fit better at the best London hotels, but the easy way he carried her daughter, his relaxed smile, meant he'd fit in anywhere.

In typical Eleanor fashion, she almost fell into the travel cot that was set up in Joel's spare room and was almost snoring before Sammy reached the bedroom door. She turned back to the lounge to see Joel sat on the sofa, feet up, relaxed, an open bottle of wine and a couple of glasses in front of him. He was smiling at her, but there was a seriousness in his eyes, she knew she had to tell him about her encounter with Clifford. He would support her, he was on her side, and she NEEDED to talk about it. But talking was dealing, and dealing was accepting and she wasn't sure she was ready for that yet.

KÉU